" Snow "
C. Kreimendahl
Mary………………….New Mother, Wife to Joseph
Joseph………………..…New Father, Husband to Mary
Jesus………………………………...Silent new baby
Scene Takes place inside of a small living room.
One sofa, a T.V. set, with rabbit ears, and a car seat with silent baby inside.
This is Mary and Joseph in 2oth, 21st century America. Joseph is behind
The T.V. set rearranging the rabbit ear antenna. Mary is directing from the sofa
Mary: To the left. Nope. You just lost it. Yeah! Right there. No…It's gone again.
Joseph: Why don't you just do it yourself?
Mary: Relax. Let me do it.
Joseph: Fine. TV's bad for you. I don't want our baby picking up on your bad habits.
Mary: Jesus watches educational T.V.
Joseph: I don't think puppets singing "Mary had a little lamb" is very educational, but
besides the T.V. issue we need to start seriously looking at religions.
Spirituality is important. I've said this before.
Mary: God-Shmod.
Joseph: How can you say that? God gave us Jesus I think you should be a little more
grateful
Mary: Grateful? 12 hours of labor in a smelly garage with no drugs, laying on a grease
stained cot…
Joseph: It's not God's fault we didn't make it to the hospital. Thank God the neighbors
let us use the cot they had.
Mary: They could have let us come inside. I was having a baby. I was in labor. They
could have let me come inside!
Joseph: Either way, it's not God's fault.
Mary: Well I'm blaming him!
Joseph: Him? Just last month didn't you tell me that God must be a woman?
Mary: No woman would have me giving birth in the neighbors garage! Joseph will you
please tell me when the picture comes in. I can't see from back here. It's God
baby why doesn't he raise it. This stupid piece of shit T.V.!
Joseph: That's the kind of language I've been talking about.
Mary: As if you're an angel.
Joseph: Well there's a reason God picked me to be the Daddy.
Mary: I picked you because of the black mustang we all make mistakes.
Joseph: What are you trying to say? God made a mistake?
Mary: No. I'm saying I made a mistake. (Bangs on T.V.) Come on you fucking…
Joseph: Mary! Stop cursing, Jesus is right here.
Mary: He's sleeping for God's sake! Is the picture clear? Are you messing with my
mind? For Christ's sake (Bangs on T.V.) I'm going to miss my show.
Joseph: Just because he's sleeping doesn't mean you can talk like a sailor It could
seep into his unconscious. He could become a potty mouth without a
conscious thought. It's clear! Right there.
Mary: Right here?
Joseph: Nope it's gone…
C. Kreimendahl
Mary………………….New Mother, Wife to Joseph
Joseph………………..…New Father, Husband to Mary
Jesus………………………………...Silent new baby
Scene Takes place inside of a small living room.
One sofa, a T.V. set, with rabbit ears, and a car seat with silent baby inside.
This is Mary and Joseph in 2oth, 21st century America. Joseph is behind
The T.V. set rearranging the rabbit ear antenna. Mary is directing from the sofa
Mary: To the left. Nope. You just lost it. Yeah! Right there. No…It's gone again.
Joseph: Why don't you just do it yourself?
Mary: Relax. Let me do it.
Joseph: Fine. TV's bad for you. I don't want our baby picking up on your bad habits.
Mary: Jesus watches educational T.V.
Joseph: I don't think puppets singing "Mary had a little lamb" is very educational, but
besides the T.V. issue we need to start seriously looking at religions.
Spirituality is important. I've said this before.
Mary: God-Shmod.
Joseph: How can you say that? God gave us Jesus I think you should be a little more
grateful
Mary: Grateful? 12 hours of labor in a smelly garage with no drugs, laying on a grease
stained cot…
Joseph: It's not God's fault we didn't make it to the hospital. Thank God the neighbors
let us use the cot they had.
Mary: They could have let us come inside. I was having a baby. I was in labor. They
could have let me come inside!
Joseph: Either way, it's not God's fault.
Mary: Well I'm blaming him!
Joseph: Him? Just last month didn't you tell me that God must be a woman?
Mary: No woman would have me giving birth in the neighbors garage! Joseph will you
please tell me when the picture comes in. I can't see from back here. It's God
baby why doesn't he raise it. This stupid piece of shit T.V.!
Joseph: That's the kind of language I've been talking about.
Mary: As if you're an angel.
Joseph: Well there's a reason God picked me to be the Daddy.
Mary: I picked you because of the black mustang we all make mistakes.
Joseph: What are you trying to say? God made a mistake?
Mary: No. I'm saying I made a mistake. (Bangs on T.V.) Come on you fucking…
Joseph: Mary! Stop cursing, Jesus is right here.
Mary: He's sleeping for God's sake! Is the picture clear? Are you messing with my
mind? For Christ's sake (Bangs on T.V.) I'm going to miss my show.
Joseph: Just because he's sleeping doesn't mean you can talk like a sailor It could
seep into his unconscious. He could become a potty mouth without a
conscious thought. It's clear! Right there.
Mary: Right here?
Joseph: Nope it's gone…