HIEI'S HYPNOSIS @.@
Chapter Uno: Hiei Gets Hypnotized

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AN: This idea came from all the times my friends hypnotized each other. I was thinking about that and thought of what would happen if any of the Yu-Yu people were hypnotized...hehehe…well let's see what happens, shall we? ^_^

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Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, Kayko, Botan, and Yukina were all gathered together at Yusuke's house on evening. Who cares how they got there, they were there. Yusuke's mother was out at another party, probably getting smashed again.

Anyway, the seven were starting to run out of things to do. They had done just about everything except spin the bottle, which Hiei could not be convinced to play. Yusuke had taken Kayko's necklace from her, even though he knew what the consequence would be, and was running around the room with it while she chased him.

Suddenly Yusuke stopped in front of Hiei and began swinging the necklace in front of him. "You are getting very sleepy," he said, as he continued to swing the necklace back and forth.



"What are trying to do?" Hiei asked him. "You can't possibly believe that something like that is going to work on me."

Yusuke ignored him. "You are getting even more tired by the second. Your eyes feel so heavy, and you just want to close them. When I count to three, you're going to fall into a deep, restful sleep. One..."

"This will never work," Hiei told him.

"Two..."

"Hn."

"Three!" Suddenly Hiei fell forward. "Whoa!" Yusuke caught him before he hit the floor and laid him onto the couch. He was fast asleep.

"Yusuke, what have you done?" Kayko asked, so shocked that she forgot all about her kidnapped necklace.

Yusuke stared at Hiei, amazed. "I didn't think it would work."

"Is he okay?" Kuwabara asked.

"He's fine, Kuwabara, he's just under hypnosis," Kurama said. "You should probably bring him out of it, Yusuke. He's going to be very angry when he wakes up."

"Oh, alright. Umm, Hiei when I snap my fingers you're going to--"

"Wait, not yet!" Kuwabara cut in. "Come on Urameshi, let's have some fun with him before you wake him up."

Yusuke stared at Kuwabara. "He's going to kill us all, you know."

"Not if you make him forget everything that happens!" Kuwabara said. "You can do that, I've seen it on television."

"Well...what the heck, it IS pretty tempting," Yusuke agreed with a shrug of his shoulders. "Somebody better get this on film..."

"On it, Yusuke," Botan said from behind a video camera.

"What should I make him do first?" Yusuke wondered. Then an evil grin formed on his face. "I know... Hiei, when I snap my fingers you're going to wake up, and when you wake up you're going to be madly in love with Kuwabara." He snapped his fingers.

"What??" Kuwabara cried out in shock.

Hiei sat up on the couch. "What?" He looked down and realized that he wasn't where he had been a few minutes ago. Looking very confused, he suddenly glanced up at the group looking down at him. Pausing for a minute, he seemed to be staring at Kuwabara.

"What's up, Hiei?" Yusuke asked him.

"Hn," Hiei answered. "Kuwabara, can I speak to you in another room?"

"Huh?" Kuwabara looked frightened.

Yusuke gave him a shove. "Go on, man. You two can talk in the kitchen," he said to Hiei with a wink. Hiei just gave him a strange look and got up. He went into the kitchen and Yusuke pushed Kuwabara in after him.

They waited for a few minutes, listening at the doorway but hearing nothing. Suddenly Kuwabara came flying out of the kitchen, white as a ghost and screaming bloody murder. Yusuke ran after him and caught him by the arm.

"What happened, Kuwabara?" He asked.

Kuwabara turned to Yusuke, a look of sheer terror on his face. "He--he tried to kiss me!"

"What?" Yusuke began to laugh uncontrollably. "Are you serious?"

"It's not funny, Urameshi!" Kuwabara yelled. "Make him stop being in love with me!"

"Oh, fine. Hiei!" Yusuke called. Hiei slunk into the room, looking a little disappointed.

"What do you want?"

"Just take a seat on the couch, will you?"

Hiei glared at him, but sat down anyway. Yusuke snapped his fingers and Hiei fell into a deep sleep again.

"Okay Hiei, when you wake up this time you won't be in love with Kuwabara, but you're going to suddenly realize that you're completely naked. Worst of all, when you try to get up you won't be able to because you'll be stuck to the couch." Yusuke snapped his fingers and Hiei woke up again.

From behind the camera, Botan giggled. Thinking he felt a breeze, Hiei looked down at himself and suddenly crossed his legs.

"What have you done?" He glared at the rest of the group.

"What are you talking about, Hiei?" Kurama asked him, starting to get into the hypnosis fun. "What's wrong?"

"Can't you see?" He scowled.

"No," Yusuke answered. "Are you okay?"

"Of course not!" Hiei snapped. "I want to know which one of you fools took my clothes!"

"What do you mean, Hiei? You're wearing your clothes," Kurama informed him, holding back a laugh.

"How stupid do you think I am?" Hiei snarled. He looked at them, his eyes shifting from person to person. "Who did it?"

"Hiei, are you sure you're alright?" Kuwabara asked him.

Hiei grabbed one of the couch pillows, covered himself with it and tried to stand up. "I'll be all right when I slice you into particles of dust!" He found that he couldn't stand up and this pissed him off even more. "What the hell is going on?!"

Yusuke was laughing so hard he was crying. "Okay, I think that's enough. The veins on his forehead are going to pop if he gets any angrier." He snapped his fingers, and Hiei instantly fell back onto the couch, the pillow still covering his crotch.

"What are you going to do next?" Kurama wondered.

"I've got an idea!" Kurama leaned over and whispered something into Yusuke's ear that made him laugh.

"That 's perfect!" He laughed. "Okay Hiei, when you wake up you won't be naked anymore. But you ARE going to feel like singing, and Kurama tells me that there's only one song you know..." He snapped his fingers and Hiei woke up once again.

Hiei saw the pillow still sitting on his crotch and tossed it away, confused. Looking around, he grabbed remote control and stood up.

"What are you gonnna do, Hiei?" Kuwabara asked him.

Hiei just looked at him. "You'll see." Suddenly he jumped onto the couch, and, holding the remote like a microphone, began to sing: "Love to see you whip it, sure could treat you right. Gimme just a minute of your time tonight. We both are here to have some fun. Let it whip."

He began to dance around on the couch and began the second verse: "I know you're into groovin', love your body language. Baby let me know, ya got me sort of anxious. We both are here to have some fun. Let it whip. Whip it baby, whip it right. Whip it baby, whip it all night. Let it whip..." He continued to sing until he had finished the song and everyone watching him was rolling with laughter.

"Okay, okay," Yusuke regained control of himself enough to snap his fingers. Hiei fell down onto the couch in a deep sleep again.

The other six continued to laugh for about five minutes afterwards until Kuwabara was struck with an idea.

"Hey Urameshi, I know what you could do to him next!" He whispered something in Yusuke's ear, and Yusuke snickered.

"Alright, Kuwabara, but that's the last one. If Hiei DOES remember any of this I don't want to get any more beatings then necessary. Okay Hiei, when you wake up this time you won't feel like singing anymore. Instead, you're going to think that you're a girl whose boyfriend just broke up with her." Yusuke snapped his fingers and Hiei instantly sat up, wide awake.

Seeing Hiei's troubled expression, Kurama sat down next to him. "Are you all right, Hiei?"

"No." Hiei shook his head.

"What's the matter?" Kurama asked him.

"It's nothing," Hiei replied.

"It's all right, you can tell me," Kurama insisted.

"Well..." Suddenly Hiei burst into tears. "It's my boyfriend, he just broke up with me!" He wailed. "I don't know why, I don't understand it! Everything was going so well! He didn't even give me a reason! I hate men!" Sobbing, Hiei turned to cry in Kurama's arms.

"Er--there, there," said Kurama as he awkwardly patted Hiei's back. The others ewere laughing uncontrollably, clutching their sides as tears rolled down their cheeks.

"This is priceless!" Yusuke managed to cry out. The others just nodded in agreement; they couldn't speak because they were laughing too hard.

Ten minutes later they were still laughing, Hiei was still crying, and Kurama was still awkwardly trying to provide some sort of comfort. Finally Yusuke decided that it would be in his best interest to discontinue this little session of hypnosis, and so he snapped his fingers for the last time, causing Hiei to slump forward onto Kurama.

"Okay Hiei, when you wake up you won't be a girl and your boyfriend won't break up with you. Everything is going to be normal, except you won't remember anything that happened during the time you were hypnotized," Yusuke said. "...Oh yeah, and after you wake up you won't go back to sleep if I snap my fingers again. On the count of three you're gonna wake up. One...two...three."

Hiei's eyes opened and suddenly he realized that he was leaning on Kurama. He jumped backwards, looking more confused than any of them had ever seen him. "What just happened?" He glared at them in search of answers, but all he got was laughter. "What are you fools laughing about?" He saw Botan remove a tape from the video camera. "What's that?"

"Oh, nothing," Botan answered sweetly. "Just a tape of...um...my sister's wedding."

"Hn," Hiei remarked. "Something's going on, and I'm going to find out. When I do, somebody is going to get hurt." With that, he stood up and jumped out the window.

"Whew," Yusuke sighed. "That was a close one. Hey Botan, I didn't know your sister got married."

Botan gave him a smile. "I don't even have a sister, Yusuke," she said. "But I'd better hide this tape somewhere, because if he finds it then he'll kill us."

"Quite literally, I'm afraid," Kurama added.

"Then let's hope he never sees it," Kuwabara said. After a minute of silence, they all began to laugh again.

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AN: Okay just a few things people should know before I get flamed by a bunch of Hiei-crazed fangirls (or guys). Now, I like Hiei as much as the next person. He's my favorite Yu-Yu Hakusho character, but all that aside, he is just SO easy to pick on. XP