Teddy Bear

by

Nin Tendo


~ Disclaimer ~ I don't own Gundam Wing....but I DO have a gumscraper!!! Run while you still can, peoples!!!




~Part 1~




Relena lay awake, staring at the ceiling of her room. She couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Heero prevented her from even closing her eyes. She hugged his only gift, the teddy bear, close to her heart.


'He said that he would kill me,' she thought, silently. 'So why did he always end up saving me?'


They had left so many things unspoken. Relena wished that she could see him again, but knew that she couldn't.


When you really love someone, you had to set that person free. If he returned, you would know that he loved you, too. If he didnt come back...well...it kind of spoke for itself.


'He said he would kill me, but he protected me instead.'


She looked at the teddy bear. "What is your secret?" she asked it, aloud. "Do you have something to do with Heero's empty promises? Does he love me? Or is there a live time bomb ticking away inside of you?"


Relena didn't really care if she died by Heero's hands. Heero didn't kill people without good reason. If Heero decided that she had to die for the sake of peace, she would happily pull the trigger herself.


She sighed a little, then yawned. Finally, she closed her eyes, and was swept into blessed unconsciousness.


=======================================================================================


Relena was floating in an endless sea of black. 'Where am I?' she thought. 'Space...?'


But it couldn't be space. It was warm, she could breath, and, most of all, she wasn't dead. Or was she?


"Where am I?" she asked, aloud this time.


She saw something off in the distance. She tried to 'swim' over to it, but found that all it took to move, was a conscious decision.


She just had to think, 'I want to go over there', and away she went, abeit a little slowly. But Relena had a lot of patience, so she arrived with no problem.


"It's the teddy bear that Heero gave me!" Relena exclaimed, when she was close enough. "Why is it here, though?" She reached out for it, but before she could touch it, a small giggle distracted her from her goal.


"Who's there?" she asked, turning around. She was surprised to see three blurry figures behind her. They didn't seem to notice her.


One was a small puppy, running, barking, and jumping around in a typical canine naivet. A little girl (who was the one who giggled, Relena supposed), was standing over a third figure, holding a small flower in one hand, the dog's leash in the other.


The third figure was...Heero? Relena gasped in surprise. He was laying on his back, looking up at the little girl. His eyes held a sort of childish innocence. Relena's eyes stung with tears when she realized that all of that innocence was probably lost forever.


"Hi, there," the little girl greeted. "Are you lost?"


Heero sat up, and said, "I've been lost ever since the day I was born."


"That's so sad..." the little girl said, in sympathy. Her tone changed when the puppy started to bark at her. "Well, I'm not lost at all. I'm taking Mary for a walk!" She hugged her puppy, and giggled when it started to lick her face.


Heero just stared at her, wisful. Relena's heart ached. She knew that he was wishing that he had lived such a carefree childhood.


"Here," the little girl said suddenly, holding out her hand. "I'll give you this flower."


Heero's hand hesitantely reached out, and took the flower from her small hand.


The puppy started barking again, and it ran away. The little girl was pulled away, too, because she was still holding onto the leash tightly. She yelled, "Wait for me, Mary!" then giggled as she followed her puppy over the hill.


Heero stared after the girl, then looked back to the flower, the same wisful look on his face.


Relena watched as the image blurred, then disappeared.


"What's going on?" she asked, aloud, hoping that whoever was responsible would answer. "Why am I seeing these things?"


There was no answer.


Relena sighed, then turned around to recover her teddy bear.


It was gone. In its place, was another vision.


Heero was holding a detonator switch in one hand, the flower in the other. He was staring at the Oz base, silently.


Relena wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a little hesitance in his eyes. Perhaps at the though of killing so many people.


Then he looked at the small flower, and squeezed it gently.


Relena gasped in revelation. He was fighting for that little girl's future. He was fighting for all the innocent children, so they could grow up in a world of peace. So they wouldn't have to grow up like he did.


He was fighting for innocence personified.


Heero pushed the detonator switch. Then, as the base exploded, he said, in a toneless voice, "Mission: Complete."


Relena felt tears come to her eyes. She knew that there was a silent battle taking place in Heero's head. He just kept his face neutral, because he didn't fnd himself worthy of anyone's sympathy.


Like how she was sympathizing for him now.


Heero turned around, and started to walk away.


Suddenly, another explosion was heard. Heero whirled around, a look of horror on his face.


The shockwave had thrown a mobile suit toward an apartment building.


Heero cursed, threw the detonator switch to the ground, and ran toward the building. But what could one boy do to stop a mobile suit in its tracks?


The mobile suit collided with the building, exploding in a ball of fire. Heero raised his arms to protect his face.


"Oh, my God..." Relena whispered, bringing her hands to her face. She felt like she was going to puke.


Heero lowered his arms, and stared at the carnage. Tears came to his eyes, and he clutched the flower tightly. His breathing came out hard and forced.


Relena didn't know how long he stayed that way, but what happened next would be etched into her mind forever.


Heero walked over to the destroyed buiding. The fire had gone out, but there was not a wall standing.


In front of him was the corpse of the little girl's puppy. Lying next to it was a slightly charred teddy bear.


It looked exactly like the teddy bear that Heero had given to her for her birthday.


Heero picked up the dead puppy, and cradled it in his arms like a newborn babe. Slowly, he walked away from the destruction, a lost look on his face.


The image blurred, then disappeared. The only thing that remained was the teddy bear, although it looked new again. It swiftly floated over to her, and she caught it in her arms.


She looked at it and asked, "Why did I see those things? Why did Heero give you to me?"


She was surprised to get an answer. The words echoed through the endless sea of darkness, but she knew that the voice had originated from the bear.


He needs your help.


"My help?" Relena answered. "But what can I do?"


You can help him.


Relena sighed, slightly annoyed. She decided to try a different question. "How can I help him if I don't know where he is?"


You know where he is.


"But where is he?"


You know.


Relena was starting to get frustrated. The teddy bear was really trying her patience. It wasn't answering her questions at all. It just re-worded them. All it had told her was that Heero needed her help, and that she knew where he was, which she didn't.


Good-bye.


"Huh?" Relena said, snapping out of her reflection. "Hey! Wait! I need some answers!" she exclaimed, whn she saw that the teddy bear was fading away.


Help him.


The teddy bear blurred, then disappeared.


=======================================================================================


Relena woke up covered in a cold sweat. She shivered, looked at the teddy bear with wide eyes, then glanced a her clock.


5:47 am.


Knowing that she would never be able to get back to sleep, Relena got up, deciding to take a shower.


The warm water was just what her body needed, but it did nothing for her mind. Where was Heero? And how would she be able to find him? And how could she possibly help him, anyway?


Relena ate a small breakfast, then went outside to take a walk.


Her mind was at war with itself. Was this how Heero felt most of the time? She had more sympathy for him, now.


Sighing, Relena sat down on a bench. She passed time by reading the billboards across the street. She giggled at a hilarious Coke one, then read the next.


Is life on Earth weighing you down? Do you ever dream of something more? Do you wish to leave everything behind, and start all over again? Then pack your bags, and move to colony L1!!!


Colony L1?!


Relena gasped in revelation. Heero was on the L1 colony! Why didn't she think of it sooner?


She ran all the way home, so she could schedule a flight as soon as possible.


=======================================================================================


Relena stepped off the shuttle, suddenly feeling unsure. How did she know that he was on the L1 colony? For all she knew, he could currently be back on Earth, ringing her doorbell.


And even if Heero was on L1, how would she be able to find him? L1 was home to millions of people, and Heero was a trained assassin. He wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be found.


Relena sighed. She wasn't even sure if Heero actually wanted to see her, but she would still do her best to find him.


He needed her help, after all.


She picked up her travel bag, and walked up to the information desk. An old man was sitting there.


"Excuse me," Relena said, politely, "but could you tell me where I could find the site where that military base was destroyed a couple years back?" She wasn't sure if she was even on the right colony, but it never hurt to ask.


The old man looked startled. "You mean the one that took the whole sector with it? That explosion was an unsolved mystery. Nearly a thousand people died that day. It took a whole year to get rid of the debris. They just started rebuilding six months ago."


Relena's eyes teared up at the thought of all the casualties. She forced the tears back, and wrote down the address.


If Heero was even on the colony, there would at least be a clue at that site.


=======================================================================================


Relena had decided to walk to the half-built apartment building. It would take longer to get there, yes, but she was scared that she wouldn't find anything there.


Or find more than she bargained for.


Suddenly, the building came into view. The frame of it was done, but only half of the walls were complete. She could see that a memorial statue was placed in front, most likely to remind passer-by about the past misfortune.


She walked up to it, and ran her fingers over the cold stone. So many names. Which one was the little girl's?


Relena turned to look at the grassy hill beside the apartment building. That was where Heero had met that little girl. That was where...


She gasped.


That was where Heero was now, staring at the beginning of his own personal hell.




~Part 2~




Relena stared at the unmoving figure of Heero Yuy as she slowly walked toward him. He was sitting on a grassy hill, looking upon the site of his own damnation. Relena wasn't sure if he even noticed her approach.


She hesitantly sat beside him. He didn't even twitch. He just stared at the half-built apartment building, unwavering.


Relena just sat there for a moment, looking at this face. It was just as she remembered, when he had collapsed into her arms after 'killing' Mariemeya. But his eyes...she had never before seen his eyes like this. They were glazed, as if he was in pain, or if he was remembering something, and there was a deep, soul-wrenching sadness just beneath the surface.


She slowly put her hand on his shoulder. "Heero...?"


Heero didn't move, and his expression didn't change, but he did acknowledge her presence. "Relena."


She sighed, then opened her travel bag. Pulling out the teddy bear, she set it on his lap.


"It's the same one, isn't it?" Relena asked, softly, whispering into his ear. "This is the teddy bear that belonged to that little girl."


That got a response out of him. He whirled around to look at her, surprised by her knowledge. Then, the surprise slowly faded to pain, and he turned away again.


"Heero?" she asked, hesitantly. "Are you okay?" She leaned over to look at his face.


A tear was slowly running down his cheek. With a small smile, she wiped it away, like he had done for her once.


Suddenly, Heero was on his feet, knocking Relena onto her back. He threw the teddy bear at her, which she caught in numb fingers.


"Go away," he growled. His eyes were cold and hard again.


Relena's eyes teared up, and she was tempted to bolt in the opposite direction, but she stayed. Even if he didn't know it yet, he DID need her help.


"I'm not going to leave you alone, because you're killing yourself over what happened that day. I'm not going to let you destroy yourself!" Relena shouted, defiantely, as she got to her feet.


"Leave me alone!" Heero shouted back. "Go away before I kill you!"


"You're not going to kill me, Heero!" Relena contidicted. "How many times have you held me at gunpoint? You never pulled the trigger! Duo stopped you that one time, but after that, it was always just between you and me! If you wanted to kill me, I would already be dead!"


Heero turned his back on her. "Leave," he said, in a softer tone, "because I don't want you to die."


"I don't understand, Heero," Relena said, confused. "What are you saying? If you don't want me to die, why would you kill me?"


Heero turned around again. "You know, don't you?" he said, slowly. His eyes were sad again. "You somehow know what happened that day." He sat down again, and rubbed his eyes.


Relena took a seat beside him. "I had a dream last night. I don't know how, but it told me things about your past."


"The little girl?" he asked.


"Yeah," she answered.


Heero took a deep breath to calm himself. "I was fourteen when it happened. I was confused back then. I knew that I was a soldier, but I didn't know what I was fighting for." He paused. "Then I met that little girl. She was so wild and carefree. It was love at first sight. Not a physical attraction, but the kind that goes on forever."


Relena laid a comforting hand on his back, softly rubbing in small circles.


Heero swallowed hard. "Everything I love, dies. Duo's not the only Shinigami. I am, too. I only bring death to those I love."


"No," Relena cried. "No, that's not true, Heero. It's not..."


"It is," he contridicted. "It is true. First, my parents. Then, my guardian. Then that little girl. You will be next if you don't leave me soon."


Relena realized something. "What makes you think that I'm going to die?" she asked, quietly. Was he going to say it?


"Because....because..." Heero stuttered. "Because, you remind me so much of that little girl."


"Heero," she whispered, "just because I look like her, doesn't mean that I am going to die like her. No one will ever die like that anymore. The earth and colonies are finally at peace. They don't even need me to push them in the right direction. I am just a figurehead, Heero, and because of that, there will be no more war."


Heero's eyes seemed to gain a little hope, but then it disapeared. "What kind of relationship could we possibly have, Relena?" he demanded. "The ambassador of peace and the perfect soldier? If anything, it will destory the peace that we have worked so hard to attain! The people would rebel against any relationship between us!"


"You're wrong, Heero! You have fought for peace just as much as I have! Our relationship is a complex one, but the people WILL understand!" Relena countered.


Heero stood up, slowly shaking his head. "Being near me will only cause your death, Relena. That's just the way it is." He turned, and sprinted toward the half-built apartment building.


"Heero!" shouted Relena, standing up, and running after him. "Please don't run away from me! I can help you!"


"Damn it..." Heero whispered, as his body started convulsing. He didn't know why it hurt so much. Why couldn't she understand?


He stopped beside a support beam. "DAMN IT!!!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, punching the beam, leaving a dent. Why did it hurt so much to leave her behind?


"Heero!" Relena shouted again. Heero looked up, surprised that she had followed him. "Heero..." she repeated, "you don't understand." She was shaking uncontrollably with sobs. "You won't kill me by staying with me, because I can't live WITHOUT you!"


She stopped a few meters away, as if she was asking permission to come closer.


"R-Relena, I..." he stuttered.


His danger sense kicked in.


He looked up. A loose beam was falling in their direction, probably disconnected by his punch.


It was headed straight for Relena.


There was no way in hell that he would let it hit her.


"RELENA!!!" he shouted, racing toward her.


"Heero...?" she answered, oblivious to her impending doom.


"WATCH OUT!!!" he screamed, pushing her out of danger, yet plunging himself into it. The beam fell on him, crushing his right leg. He bit his tongue to hold back a scream of agony. Blood flooded his mouth, and spilled down his chin.


Then, blessed numbness swept through his injured limb, and his sight grew hazy.


"Relena..." he whispered, flinching from the pain that shot through his mouth. He had nearly bitten his tongue in half. But he had to know if she was okay.


"Heero..." she answered, getting up. "Oh, my God! HEERO!!!"


She was at his side in a flash, screaming at a nearby construction worker to call an ambulance. Horrified by the sight, he followed her orders without a second thought.


"Relena..." he whispered again, as she used her shirt sleeve to wipe away the blood. It didn't hurt anymore, he realized. "It's finally caught up to me, Relena...." he mumbled, then fell unconscious.




~Part 3~




Each second seemed a minute. Each minute seemed an hour. Each hour seemed a day. A day would stretch on for weeks.


That was how Relena felt, when they took Heero into the hospital.


At least the surgery was over with They had to stitch up his tongue. And his leg...


Relena caressed Heero's face. He had been sleeping for three days now. The doctor had assured her that he wasn't in a coma. He just had to heal, and the body healed best while it was unconscious.


But she still wished that he would wake up. Just for a minute. She had been staring at his pale face for days, and she would sometimes think that he had died in his sleep.


They had machines that looked after him. Ones that fed him when his nutrients were low, ones that gave him painkillers, ones that 'cleaned up after him', and many, many more. The only person that had actually walked in, was a mechanic, who just checked to see if the machines were in good working condition.


Other than that, Relena had no company, except for Heero's bloodless face, and the neverending whir of machinery.


She was going insane.


Relena knew that everyone back home would be worried about her, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Heero's side. Yes, she needed a shower, and dark rings were forming underneath her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Heero needed her.


She watched, silently, as a couple mechanical arms positioned his head, and a tube was pushed down his throat. What was on the menu today? Milk? Water? Iced tea? Did it really matter? Heero still wasn't awake.


Would he ever wake up?


The tube was withdrawn, carefuly, and everything became still again.


Relena caressed his face a little more. In all the time that she'd known him, he had never looked so vulnerable, so helpless. He was always busy with one mission or another, but now he was doing nothing.


She pulled her hand away from his face, and took his limp hand in hers. After a moment of hesitation, she rested her head on his chest. The rhythmic lullabye of his heartbeat lulled her to sleep.


=======================================================================================


Relena woke up to someone running their hand through her hair.


She opened her eyes. Heero was staring at her, his eyes half-open. He still seemed a little drowsy, but he was awake.


"Heero!" Relena cried, pulling him into a hug, and sobbing into his chest. "I'm so glad that you're okay!"


Heero softly rubbed her back. He felt so tired...


"Relena..." he said, then gasped as a sudden pain washed through his mouth. His tongue wasn't fully healed yet, he realized, tasting blood. "Relena," he repeated, carefully this time. "What happened? How long have I been here?"


Relena calmed herself. "You've been unconscious for about four days now. Do you remember getting hurt?"


He nodded. "What is my physical status?"


"W-well," she stuttered, "there's your tongue. You bit down on it, hard. They had to stitch it up. But..."


"'But'?"


"Your leg," she whispered. "They had to...they had to amputate..."


Heero abruptly sat up, and just stared at what was left of his right leg. It ended right below the knee. He closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead.


"Seems that I finally got what I deserved," he mumbled.


"Heero!" Relena scolded. "Don't you ever say that again! No one deserves this! Least of all, you! You saved the world, Heero! You did not deserve this!"


He looked away, choosing to remain silent.


"Heero," she continued, softly, "I have a mission, too, you know. I succeeded with bringing peace to the earth and colonies. Now I'll bring peace to you."


Heero opened his eyes. "Relena..."


"Please come with me," she pleaded. "Please come back to Earth with me. I'm not going to make you come. I'm just inviting you. You won't have any more missions, Heero."


Heero hesitated, and looked deep into her eyes. Finally, he honored her with a small smile, and said, "Take me with you, Relena."


Relena could only smile back.




~Epilogue~




Heero stared out the window, longing. The sun was shining, the clouds were few, the grass was green, and a gentle breeze was teasing the tree branches.


And his daughter was enjoying it without him.


Heero Yuy was washing dishes.


"Heero!!!"


He turned to look at his wife.


"Heero Yuy!" Relena shouted, in mock anger. "What the hell do you think you're doing? What are you doing, staring out the window like a trapped animal? Are you TRYING to make me feel guilty?"


Heero smiled, entertained by her performance.


Relena lightly punched his shoulder, then took his washcloth away. "Get your ass outside, Yuy!" she ordered. "Look after your daughter! She HAS inherited your sense, remember!"


Heero chuckled at her poor imitation of a nagging wife, but it was still good enough for a reward.


Relena didn't see the kiss coming.


A few moments later, Relena licked her tingling lips, and asked, "What was that for, koi?"


Heero brooded, then said, "I suppose it was a preview of things to come..."


He kissed her cheek, then bolted outside, his artificial leg only causing a slight hindrance.


Relena smiled at his departing form, then turned to look out the window. Heero had grabbed their shreiking, eight year old daughter from behind, then proceeded to grab her arms, and twirl her around in circles. Their golden retriever yipped happily, dancing around them.


If you looked close enouh, Heero's daughter was identical to that little girl he'd killed.


Relena watched her laughing husband and daughter play for a moment, then turned to look at the dirty dishes.


What the hell!


She rushed outside to join them.






Author's Notes:


1. Gee...artificial legs sure have changed...(runs away from raving Heero-lovers holding torches and flamethrowers)


2. Hehehe....Relena sure has a dirty mouth. I'm sorry...I had to include some comedy relief. C'mon! You laughed! Don't try to fool me! I'm psychic!!! (Dee: No, she's just psychotic)


3. Did you think that Relena's dream was weird? I assure you: that dream is NOT as weird as you might think. So what if she talked to her teddy bear? I remember having a dream that included "My Little Ponies" and an exploding building. Unfortunately, the creatures survived.


4. You're wondering how Relena had that dream in the first place? I'll explain. I believe that objects can absorb human emotions and major events, and a select few can see them. Assuming that the teddy bear is the same teddy bear that the little girl owned, it kinda makes sense. I'm sorry. I can't explain it well. Just use your imagination, man! (I'm sane, I tell you! n_n)


5. No sequel. (Beats down raving fans...do I have raving fans?) NO SEQUEL!!! That's my final answer!


6. Just to let you know: this is as close as I'll ever come to a lemon. (Laughs insanely) Well, maybe not. But I'll only write watered down limes! I wouldn't want to torture you with my pathetic knowledge of reproduction!!! (You'll only get before/after thingys from me!!! :p Nyyaaaaaahhhh! n_n)


7. (Foaming at the mouth) FLAAAAME MEEEEE!!!! FLAAAAAAME MEEEEEE!!! (No, I'm not making fun of Relena. Sadly, this is me on a sugar high. I support Rel-sama!!! To the death!!!!! n_n)