Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.
Bolded Italicized linesare flashbacks.
Italicized lines are thoughts.
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What Was Left Unwritten
Asch/Natalia: Those Final Things
Natalia refused to let him leave. The sun was sinking along with her heart, and she couldn't bear to leave her unspoken words hanging in her throat. She grabbed his arm. Her grip was strong, her fingers trained to resist even the most painful blisters from archery.
"Please, don't leave me with the promise. You can't."
He looked at her, first at her gloved hands and then into her eyes. Emerald green with that gleam of loyalty and honor. It was so much different from his eyes of the same color. He reflected bitterness…and loneliness.
"Natalia. You haven't made up your mind. I've seen you with that replica. You can easily treat him like he was me. I can't stand it, you know. I really can't." Asch batted her arm away.
She gasped a little. Did she honestly do that? She hadn't noticed. It must have been something inside her that just connected the two together, but her feelings for Asch wouldn't change. It was sudden, the truth, but it still gave her a little bit of time to think things through. Luke and Asch were always plaguing her mind, leaving her dreaming while the group actually planned. She needed to settle it; and Sheridan looked like it could be the place.
Asch wouldn't have any of it. He started walking away again, moving past the inn and into the empty street. The sun was turning a blood red, blending his hair into the sky. Natalia approached him, almost yelling.
"Don't go!"
"Dammit Natalia, will you shut up? I can't have this sort of thing on my mind right now! I need to focus on the Sephiroth. You aren't helping, prancing around and acting like everything's sunshine and freaking lollipops!" He hadn't meant to be so loud. His heart was just frustrating him. He had no time to soften, but whenever he thought of her, there was this yearning that disoriented him.
Did he misunderstand her? Her mind was a thunderstorm. How could he think she was at ease? Every day she would stray away from the group's conversation so she could figure out her priorities; funnily enough, the top priority should be to listen to the group. Jade would bring back her attention with a kindly glare, but it never lasted. Anise would wonder what was up, and then Luke would butt in with a concerned face and kind words.
That's what always got her.
Asch hadn't given her that sort of look for a long time. Even when she fell in the Ortion Cavern, he looked annoyed more than worried. Perhaps it was because he hated thinking about the past, a past that he no longer had. Wasn't that funny, that no one ever could really get their past back, but he lingered on it.
"Asch…have we really grown that far apart that you don't realize what I'm feeling?"
The words stung him. Yet another damn regret burned into his body. Why did he have to yell at her? It was the replica that pissed him off. He had half a mind to go and wrench one of his arms off just because he was causing so many problems. The redhead looked away from her, unable to think up anything that could be an adequate response to her question.
She took his lack of an answer as a yes. "Maybe I should move on. I should just put my feelings with Luke and get over all of this."
He spun to face her, completely horrified. The sincerity of that sentence and its meaning stabbed into him like a white-hot blade. She would actually settle for the replica because he misread what was making her so difficult? Dammit, there was no way he could let the replica take her away. Even if they had the same face, he was obviously the better person. Stronger, smarter, and the actual Luke! He was an aristocrat! The replica was a throwaway for Van's stupid plans…
What was he thinking? He hated putting himself back into the shoes he once filled as Luke fon Fabre. There was no going back, and damn him if he tried to. But Natalia boggled his mind. Everything that he believed seemed to screech to a halt when she was concerned.
Still, he had a duty. He needed to put his love aside. He could think about her, and keep her fondness in his heart.
"Natalia, don't…don't ever say that," he spoke, hair falling front of his eyes. He didn't want her to see the fresh pain billowing in them, but his quavering voice gave that away. He took her and pulled her into an embrace.
Natalia's heart started pumping. She was completely unprepared for this. She lost her graceful composure and fell into him, head against his armored chest. The cold steel felt foreign against her flesh, but the warmth that enveloped the rest of her made her nearly collapse with content.
"That replica will never win you. The King…no…Uncle will decide on me. I was the candidate to begin with, a-and…I'm better than the damn replica." He squeezed her. "Dammit, Natalia, look at what you're doing to me, it's wrecking me…"
"Then why do you torture yourself? Just let me go, if you're going to complain," she whispered.
He complied, and released her from his comforting arms. She opened her mouth to speak, but he took her chin into his grasp and pulled her into yet another unsuspecting gesture of love.
This time, their mouths connected. His lips were chapped, rough, but familiar. It was like the cute kisses they shared as children and would immediately yell about cooties afterwards. This was a battered version of those kisses.
She nearly started crying. Why would she ever want to do that, with this wonderful man expressing his passion without regard to anything around him? Her heart was breaking, and flying on the clouds at the same time. She knew that when their lips parted, he would go, and leave with her Luke. Luke would tease her just by existing.
The moment of love and misery ended. Asch left her without saying a word. He loved the taste of her lips, loved the way they quivered; so full and pink. He wanted them with him wherever he went, along with her entire body. She would think that he was warm, but no, it was her that resonated comfort.
Natalia, you don't know what you do to me.
XxXxXx
There it was. The judgment finally given to him.
There was no Van. There wasn't any other God-General. Just a bunch of Oracle cronies trying to help his enemy succeed and take down anyone who got in his way. If only he had his own damn sword…
He limped away from the dead soldiers, pulling the other two swords out of his body. His blood leaked onto the floor, first slowly then turning into pools of red. He slipped and fell against the staircase, yelling out in pain as the stone rubbed against his wounds. He swung his hands out to catch himself. They sunk into the blood.
His own life was emptying from him, and here he was nearly face-down in it. Asch scrambled up and used the side of the staircase for support, slowly losing the ability to walk. Eventually he just gave up, sliding down the side of the stairs and breathing heavily, trying to take in as much breath as he could. Maybe he'd be able to fight through the searing pain in his stomach and the weakness that was overtaking him.
Dammit, he had made a promise to the replica that he wasn't going to die. He couldn't give up, he had been fighting for so many years, fighting for a new identity, and now had been the time to take it away? Just when the replica had become even an ounce tolerable…
His vision blurred and his throat burned as he felt his insides go out of control. They wanted to help him, but they couldn't, and his blood rushed up into his mouth. He heaved and his life spilled out from between his teeth, leaving a coppery taste on his tongue. He couldn't bear to look down at his armor. Soon, not even that mattered, because his world was consumed in darkness.
He pawed around, silently worrying. He wanted to see, dammit! He couldn't die without seeing anything. His mind was blank, there was nothing that he could read or feel anymore by just looking at them…why did his death have to be in darkness?
Asch reached out in front of him. Dammit, please! Let me see…I can't die like this!
The light burst into his vision so quickly he saw stars before a clear scene came into view. It was beautiful outside, with white marble roads and buildings surrounding him. The replica's group walked in front of him, and that's when he realized where he was.
Replica, can you hear me?
There was no response. It was like he was a silent observer, unable to do anything as Luke kept walking, his group tense and unsocial. That was when he saw her.
Why was he being tortured like this? The one person that he wanted with him at his deathbed, was so far away. She had no knowledge that he wanted her so badly, that he was dying and there was nothing that would make him happier than if she was holding his hand and whispering words of affection to him.
He felt a tear slip down his cheek. Natalia…he reached out for her longingly.
The replica's hand moved as well. He touched the back of her dress. She turned, confused, and looked into his eyes. No, into Luke's eyes. "Yes, what is it?"
The entire group halted, watching him strangely. If only they knew. If only they could hear him screaming for her.
The words were enough. He didn't care what form they were in, or if they meant anything special. Asch let her sweet voice carry him up into the clouds, were he could sleep with their comfort forever. But he couldn't hug her. It was her words, not her presence, that made him happy. The replica was absorbing her presence into him. Asch was getting none of it.
All he could settle with were her words.
Her words. Natalia's goodbye to him.
It wasn't a goodbye, at all, but he could dream.
He could dream until he fell over, not thinking anything anymore.
XxXxXx
A short one-shot dedicated to Asch/Natalia, my favorite het couple in Tales of the Abyss! I usually write a fanfics about a game I really loved when I complete it, but for this game I'm doing a series of one-shots. Be sure to favorite this story so you can look forward to more!
Asch's death saddened me so much. I never expected he would die. Natalia was so distraught…and they weren't even together…
Next up should be Luke/Tear!