The, er...Princess Bride
by -------
Adapted from a novel by S. Morgenstern; abridged by William Goldman
* * *
Before I begin this, I would like to apoligize profusely to any die-hard fans of Mr. Morgenstern's (no smart-mouthed comments about the author in the review) classic novel of true love and adventure. This idea came to me, and they have a habit of staying with me until I write them. I have a definate warning. The part of Buttercup will be played by Ichijouji Ken, and that of Wesley by Motimoya Daisuke. It is rated PG13 for an evil Miyako, Sora, and Koushiro (I just had to make him Vizzini), a senile Jyou, exaggeration of Taichi's intelligence, or lack thereof, several swears by Ishida Yamato (he's depressed, violent, and has a weird relationship with his partner), and Iori as a bishop. Please bear in mind I have tried to keep this somewhat canon (to the Princess Bride, NOT Digimon), but it won't be perfect. However, please enjoy, and if you are Florinese and object to this defilement of a national treasure, please keep flames civil.
* * *
Daisuke tossed and turned in his sleep. He knew those burritos were a mistake after that American movie. How did Ken convince him to watch "The Princess Bride?" Well, that was obvious, but he still couldn't believe his koi had made him watch that weird movie.
'But you were the one who ate fifteen beef burritos!' And then he fell asleep, and the dream began...
* * *
Ken lived on his family's farm, and his two favorite hobbies were riding his horse, and taunting the farm boy that lived in a small shack on the outskirts of the farm.
"Farm boy, shine my horse's saddle."
"As you wish." 'As you wish' was all he ever said to Ken, but he never meant that. Whenever he said 'as you wish,' he really meant, 'I love you.' For although Daisuke was exuberant, outgoing, courageous, and caring, he couldn't tell Ken how much he loved him; or rather, not in so many words. Ken was an introverted person, but he held an inner kindness, and a spiritual beauty that drew others to him. But he never noticed these people, until the day he realized he loved Daisuke as well. He was ordering the other man about, and when Daisuke responded,
"As you wish," Ken realized the true meaning of the statement. And he realized he felt the same. He looked Daisuke in the eye, and made him drop the trifle he was bearing to Ken.
"Daisuke, do you mean it?" he asked, knowing the other would know his meaning. Daisuke nodded once, and Ken smiled at him. "Then so do I." They were happy together, and often would end the day watching the sunset together, not necessarily talking, for they needed no words. However, Daisuke had no money; he decided to travel to America to seek his fortune, and return when he could support the two of them. The parting was short, because they had both agreed that prolonged good-byes were more painful than short ones. And so the day came that Daisuke left, and Ken watched the sun alone. But after a short period of moping, he decided that he was getting nothing accomplished that way, and that instead, he would be glad that he had found love. He became the jewel of the villiage, a star among them that all adored. His love made him shine, and the radiance touched others as well. And so, when the news came, that off the coast of the Carolinas, Daisuke's ship was attacked by pirates, they were all shocked. Normally, they would have held hope for the man so obviously in love, but the ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Gennai, who never took prisoners. Ken receded into his room, and neither ate nor slept for days. When he emerged, he had found only one way to handle his grief. He was no longer the shining man, the kind person. He was cold, emotionless, and he blocked himself off from anyone. He had made himself one promise to never suffer grief again.
"I will never love again."
* * *
By and by, three years passed. And Princess Miyako of Florin had gathered her people in Florin City for the presentation of her spouse-to-be. She stood on a balcony in front of her parents, King Jyou, a senile old man slowly receding from health, and her mother, Queen Mimi, a kind old woman who was fighting old age to the death.
"My people, in three weeks, Florin will have existed for 500 years. Before the celebration, I will marry a man who will become your next king. He was once a commoner like yourselves, but perhaps you will not find him so common now. I give you the Prince...Ken!" There was a fanfare, and Ken stepped out among the people. They reached out touch his hand, or just stared at him. Miyako smiled to herself, staring at the beautiful man. His beauty, his modesty, the radiance of kindness he had placed around himself again, all made them love him. It would all be too perfect when her plans came to fruition. She smiled as she watched him return, his blue clothing and cape swishing after him. But no one noticed the man in black standing in the corner of the square, his eyes cold, cruel, and his face hidden by a mask of cloth.
* * *
Ken closed his eyes briefly, allowing the wind of the forest to run across his face. He was still riding his horse every afternoon, just as Princess Miyako went hunting as often as possible. Suddenly, he heard a noise, and stopped to stare at three men standing by the side of the road. One was tall, athletically muscular, dressed in comfortable black, and wore an exquisite sword on his side. His blond hair was perfectly styled, and his blue eyes wore a haunted expression. The second, a brunette, was slightly shorter, and held a slightly heavier build, but somehow radiated a strength far beyond his appearance. The third, a redhead, was incredibly short, and his eyes were constantly darting about. It was he who spoke to Ken first.
"Pardon me, sir, but we are poor, lost circus travelers. We had heard there is a village nearby." Ken frowned, and shook his head.
"I'm sorry; you must have been mistaken. There are no people for miles." The redhead grinned, and snapped his fingers.
"Then there will be no one to hear you scream." The hideous laugh was the last thing he heard before the brunette pressed his fingers against a pressure point.
* * *
Please tell me how you like this, or I won't continue! Well, maybe I will, but I'd really like feedback.
by -------
Adapted from a novel by S. Morgenstern; abridged by William Goldman
* * *
Before I begin this, I would like to apoligize profusely to any die-hard fans of Mr. Morgenstern's (no smart-mouthed comments about the author in the review) classic novel of true love and adventure. This idea came to me, and they have a habit of staying with me until I write them. I have a definate warning. The part of Buttercup will be played by Ichijouji Ken, and that of Wesley by Motimoya Daisuke. It is rated PG13 for an evil Miyako, Sora, and Koushiro (I just had to make him Vizzini), a senile Jyou, exaggeration of Taichi's intelligence, or lack thereof, several swears by Ishida Yamato (he's depressed, violent, and has a weird relationship with his partner), and Iori as a bishop. Please bear in mind I have tried to keep this somewhat canon (to the Princess Bride, NOT Digimon), but it won't be perfect. However, please enjoy, and if you are Florinese and object to this defilement of a national treasure, please keep flames civil.
* * *
Daisuke tossed and turned in his sleep. He knew those burritos were a mistake after that American movie. How did Ken convince him to watch "The Princess Bride?" Well, that was obvious, but he still couldn't believe his koi had made him watch that weird movie.
'But you were the one who ate fifteen beef burritos!' And then he fell asleep, and the dream began...
* * *
Ken lived on his family's farm, and his two favorite hobbies were riding his horse, and taunting the farm boy that lived in a small shack on the outskirts of the farm.
"Farm boy, shine my horse's saddle."
"As you wish." 'As you wish' was all he ever said to Ken, but he never meant that. Whenever he said 'as you wish,' he really meant, 'I love you.' For although Daisuke was exuberant, outgoing, courageous, and caring, he couldn't tell Ken how much he loved him; or rather, not in so many words. Ken was an introverted person, but he held an inner kindness, and a spiritual beauty that drew others to him. But he never noticed these people, until the day he realized he loved Daisuke as well. He was ordering the other man about, and when Daisuke responded,
"As you wish," Ken realized the true meaning of the statement. And he realized he felt the same. He looked Daisuke in the eye, and made him drop the trifle he was bearing to Ken.
"Daisuke, do you mean it?" he asked, knowing the other would know his meaning. Daisuke nodded once, and Ken smiled at him. "Then so do I." They were happy together, and often would end the day watching the sunset together, not necessarily talking, for they needed no words. However, Daisuke had no money; he decided to travel to America to seek his fortune, and return when he could support the two of them. The parting was short, because they had both agreed that prolonged good-byes were more painful than short ones. And so the day came that Daisuke left, and Ken watched the sun alone. But after a short period of moping, he decided that he was getting nothing accomplished that way, and that instead, he would be glad that he had found love. He became the jewel of the villiage, a star among them that all adored. His love made him shine, and the radiance touched others as well. And so, when the news came, that off the coast of the Carolinas, Daisuke's ship was attacked by pirates, they were all shocked. Normally, they would have held hope for the man so obviously in love, but the ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Gennai, who never took prisoners. Ken receded into his room, and neither ate nor slept for days. When he emerged, he had found only one way to handle his grief. He was no longer the shining man, the kind person. He was cold, emotionless, and he blocked himself off from anyone. He had made himself one promise to never suffer grief again.
"I will never love again."
* * *
By and by, three years passed. And Princess Miyako of Florin had gathered her people in Florin City for the presentation of her spouse-to-be. She stood on a balcony in front of her parents, King Jyou, a senile old man slowly receding from health, and her mother, Queen Mimi, a kind old woman who was fighting old age to the death.
"My people, in three weeks, Florin will have existed for 500 years. Before the celebration, I will marry a man who will become your next king. He was once a commoner like yourselves, but perhaps you will not find him so common now. I give you the Prince...Ken!" There was a fanfare, and Ken stepped out among the people. They reached out touch his hand, or just stared at him. Miyako smiled to herself, staring at the beautiful man. His beauty, his modesty, the radiance of kindness he had placed around himself again, all made them love him. It would all be too perfect when her plans came to fruition. She smiled as she watched him return, his blue clothing and cape swishing after him. But no one noticed the man in black standing in the corner of the square, his eyes cold, cruel, and his face hidden by a mask of cloth.
* * *
Ken closed his eyes briefly, allowing the wind of the forest to run across his face. He was still riding his horse every afternoon, just as Princess Miyako went hunting as often as possible. Suddenly, he heard a noise, and stopped to stare at three men standing by the side of the road. One was tall, athletically muscular, dressed in comfortable black, and wore an exquisite sword on his side. His blond hair was perfectly styled, and his blue eyes wore a haunted expression. The second, a brunette, was slightly shorter, and held a slightly heavier build, but somehow radiated a strength far beyond his appearance. The third, a redhead, was incredibly short, and his eyes were constantly darting about. It was he who spoke to Ken first.
"Pardon me, sir, but we are poor, lost circus travelers. We had heard there is a village nearby." Ken frowned, and shook his head.
"I'm sorry; you must have been mistaken. There are no people for miles." The redhead grinned, and snapped his fingers.
"Then there will be no one to hear you scream." The hideous laugh was the last thing he heard before the brunette pressed his fingers against a pressure point.
* * *
Please tell me how you like this, or I won't continue! Well, maybe I will, but I'd really like feedback.