Title: Frioniella: A Cinderella Parody
Disclaimer: Dissidia Final Fantasy © Square-Enix
Pairing: Frioniel (Firion)/Tidus
Rating: PG
Warning: AU, BL, utter crack, seme in drag
Frioniella
Chapter 1: It Begins, Don't Cry
Once upon a time, there was a young virgin girl. 'She' lived happily with her parents until...when the girl turned 12, 'her' sweet mother forever left the world. The girl's father lived on in loneliness. Years passed, and as loneliness started to suck the liveliness out of him, the man fell on love with a beautiful and radiant widow. Not so long after that, the man and the widow got married.
The widow had two daughters with 'her' . Still, the man didn't object. The widow was kind and lovely. And 'she' got along with the young girl pretty well. And the step-sisters were pretty nice enough. Yet…as time flew and the now happy father died in his warm and cozy bed from illness, leaving the estate and other things to the radiant widow, things started to change.
The poor virgin girl was forced to work like a slave – doing housework and every other thing. However, 'she' didn't forget to look after her beloved bed of wild roses 'she' and her father had formerly worked on together, caring for the roses as 'her' virginity.
Not so long, the real name of the girl was forgotten as everyone started calling 'her' …
'Frioniella'
Frioniella's life had become a life full of hard work since then. 'Her' step-mother and step-sisters didn't care much about 'her' anymore. Yet, 'her' life wasn't so without color, for 'she' still had animals as friends - talking animals as you usually come across in fairy tales.
"Frioniella, you don't look so cheerful today. Don't make a face like that. A Lady has to smile, you know?" A small monkey named Zidane said, swinging down from the large branch. The monkey gave the girl a big cheeky smile. But its cheekiness was always tender.
"Yes, Frioniella, there are so many fun things to do. Don't be sad!" The little mouse named Butz piped up cheerfully.
Frioniella smiled sadly at the two animals. "I heard the royal palace will be holding up a ball soon. And the lucky girl will get the chance to dance with the prince. Mother is really interested. Too bad someone like me surely cannot go." The girl sighed. "Forget it. I'm going to clean the toilet."
Zidane and Butz watched 'her' saunter away with the cleaning equipments and then turned to look at each other.
"Hey, Butz…"
"Yeah, Zidane…"
A similar smile appeared on the two animals' face.
"Exactly what you're thinking!" They said simultaneously. "It's time for information gathering!"
With that said, the cute monkey hurled itself up the branch, swinging from the vine toward the nearest house window while the little mouse ran into the hole in the wall, making its way toward the cruel step-mother's room.
"Notice from the royal palace, this is an honorable invitation for every lovely canary in his majesty's ever peaceful kingdom, be her less beautiful, or more beautiful than me – even if the latter statement is impossible – to join the great ball our dark skinned Blitzball-loving king has decided to hold up so that the crybaby prince can have the opportunity of his lifetime to find the right girl as our old hag of an astrologer, Ultimecia, has predicted. Having read this, I hope everyone does not miss the event which will be held up tomorrow evening at the palace. Signed, royal secretary, the ever beautiful Kuja."
Light, the ever radiant mom, reread the notice for 'her' two daughters with her ever indifferent face and plain voice before looking up at the two lovely girls grimly.
"This is a good opportunity for our family to respond in kind to the ever generosity of the goddess of harmony, Cosmos. You two have to attend this event, dress in the most radiant dresses and capture the prince's heart."
"I'm not interested." Cloud, the older daughter, said, 'her' brilliant blue eyes stared at 'her' mother – no, past 'her' mother – with the expression of a mightily bored chocobo.
"Whatever." Squall, the younger daughter, replied, as dead-panned as ever. 'She' even wished 'her' mother would instead talk to the wall.
"But this is for Cosmos." The ever radiant mother continued; her face still calm and unchanging.
"…"
"…"
"One of you will even be future queen of the kingdom."
"It's a waste of time."
"And stupid."
"…………………"
The mother stared at 'her' two beautiful daughters silently before each of her hands quickly moved and pulled at each daughter's collars. Her face was still unchanged saved for the two long horns on her shiny helmet that was now instead pointing in front. There was a scary aura around 'her' even if 'she' was shining oh-so-brightly. Eventually, she spoke with voice dripped to the core with ice.
"You two shall attend the event. This is a mission!"
The two daughters immediately nodded simultaneously.
As soon as 'she' got the satisfying answer, the shining mother let go of them. "Now, go and get yourselves prepared, if there's anything needed to be fixed, call Frioniella."
Cloud and Squall gave another nodded before walking out of the room like ordered robots.
"…If there's no money, why can't Frioniella go instead?" The blond muttered as soon as they were out of their mother's hearing reach.
"……A SeeD like me only runs around and waits for the salary." The brunette replied before retreating to 'her' own room.
"They say the ball is for the prince to get a girl!" Butz, the small mouse, said as soon as it returned to the meeting place with its monkey duo behind the house.
The charming monkey folded its arms across its chest. "So…if Frioniella can attend the ball, there is a chance she isn't a virgin anymore, right?" It then nodded to itself. "Well, it is a lifetime opportunity indeed for a young lady to see the prince."
"But Frioniella doesn't have a dress to go." The mouse shook its head. "All the pretty dresses she has are now old. How can she attend the ball with those?"
"Oh, Butz, you really don't know a thing!" Zidane smiled. "Old dresses can't do. You have to know ladies don't like to wear old dresses to such grand event! Come on, move your mousy little ear closer!"
The clever monkey then whispered the plan into Butz's mousy little ear. On hearing Zidane's plan, Butz's smile grew wider and wider and…
"Surely, you can count on me! Frioniella will be very happy!" The mouse exclaimed happily.
The two then left to get the things necessary for Frioniella's surprise.
Frioniella had just finished cleaning the toilet. The cursed odor drifted of 'her', diffusing its evil self in the atmosphere. Any big or small animals ever had the luck to come across such odor started to puke themselves out while the poor plants in the vicinity started to wilt away. Still, before those lovely wild roses came to meet their untimely doom, Frioniella then realized it was proper she immediately got a bath. Even if…
To sport such odor made her almost invisible in the cruel step-mother's eyes.
Yet, even after bathing and making 'herself' clean, the cheerful animal duo, Butz and Zidane, were nowhere to be seen.
"Butz? Zidane? Where are you?" The virgin girl called, one hand grabbing a bucket, the other holding a rug.
While looking for the two friends, the voice of the ever radiant step-mother could be heard:
"Cloud, Squall, will you please listen to Mr. Cecil? This is a mission!"
"Oh, it's alright, Madam Light. To dance isn't an easy thing." Mr. Cecil crooned sweetly.
Frioniella then moved closer to the door, trying to look, with curiosity, through the keyhole.
Mr. Cecil, being the kind teacher he was, then repeated himself and showed the two girls, who had the most bored look plastered on their faces, how to move in the right steps.
"Please, follow my example. Here, Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick."
Slowly, instead of the still motionless girls in the room, Frioniella started to move, following Mr. Cecil's example. Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick, the young virgin girl moved, dancing to the flow of rhythm, listening to enchanting music. However…
"Quick-quick-slow-slow-quick."
Being too absorbed into the dancing, Frioniella was careless and forgot to keep 'herself' quiet.
The door creaked open. And…
"Frioniella, what are you doing here?" Madam Light was looking straight at 'her' before shifting that icy gaze toward the banister. "The banister isn't shiny enough."
"W…well…" Frioniella tried to make an excuse but with her acting all jumpy and stuttering like that, it was easy even for a mouse and a monkey to see through.
It was the good Mr. Cecil who came to the rescue.
"It's alright, Madam Light. I think this girl has quite the talent. I can teach one more without charging and will be very glad if she can join us." The gorgeous man smiled brilliantly.
"Then Mr. Cecil can teach Frioniella." Cloud immediately spoke up. After doing a good job of looking detached and utterly bored with life, the survival instinct of S-class chocobo finally reared its clever head.
"If you want the banister to be shiny, I can help with that." Squall suddenly kindly offered, still with that pokered-face of 'hers', before snatching the bucket away from Frioniella, promptly sauntering out of the hateful room.
Cloud also didn't wait. Having found a way to escape, the blond took the rug from Frioniella and quickly strode after Squall.
"…………" Light could only stare wordlessly after 'her' two daughters…only because 'she' wasn't fast enough to find a word to speak.
"So…let us continue, shall we?"
Nevertheless, it seemed Mr. Cecil was still alright with it.
The ever radiant mother sighed. Well, anyway, Frioniella didn't have a nice dress to attend the ball, so it wouldn't be a problem, would it?
At least, the royal palace's hall would still be…shiny.
So…while the girls were having their 'girly' businesses, the 'crybaby' prince of the kingdom was having the time of his life, namely the forever damage to his innocent pretty eyes.
"Whoaaa! Kuja, dude! Can you please wear something proper before coming into my room!?" The young prince whined, promptly covering his poor, innocent eyes behind a big pillow.
"Why, your highness, it shouldn't be a problem. This is the latest fashion garment I creatively designed myself. Its magnificent name…" The silver-haired man dramatically tossed his fluffy hair. "Is 'Peacock'."
"W…wha…!? 'Peacock'? Are you kidding me? That's some kind of an underwear you're wearing! A steel underwear!"
"Now, don't be rude, prince. It's 'Peacock'." Kuja insisted, checking on his newly manicured nails.
"It's a steel thong!"
"Peacock!"
"Steel thong!"
"Peacock!"
"Steel thong!"
"Peacock!"
"Steel—alright! What do you want!?" Prince Tidus finally sighed in defeat, his hand reaching out to find the air refresher he was quite sure he would need to spray all over the room after Kuja left. So, at the moment, he should quickly get things over with.
Kuja tossed his hair again.
"Ah, finally to the business, aren't we? Just like your highness has already been noticed, after the public declaration, tomorrow night those canaries from all over his majesty's kingdom will waltz in to join the ball. His majesty wishes your highness would select one of these lovely canaries as his future spouse, to become a princess and in the not so far future, our queen as an opening of the curtain to a new stage."
Prince Tidus made a face at Kuja's overdramatic statement. "That old man likes to decide things without asking."
"But he does it for you, my dear prince and you know it." The royal secretary waved it off as something not out of ordinary.
"Kuja…"
"Yes, prince?"
"I'll attend the ball like the old man wants but on one condition…"
"Which is?"
"Don't allow anyone wearing 'peacock' into the ball."
"…………" Kuja smiled, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
"What is it again this time, dude?"
"You finally said 'peacock'."
And, with a triumphant smirk gracing his strawberry glossed lips, the feminine royal secretary laughed evilly. His demonic laughter faded into the aging night.
What would happen after this? It would soon be revealed in the next chapter…
To Be Continued
I was sugar-high yesterday and wrote this, so I will blame the utter crackiness on the ever sweet sugar. XP
This is supposed to be a two shot. Things will conclude in the next chappie. Stay tune!
Anyway, please feed the feedback monster! XD~