Not Without You
An original work of Tenchi Muyo!
Fanfiction by OzZMaN.
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To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure,
But risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life
Is to risk nothing.
--Leo Buscaglia
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Washu
sat typing at her holographic computer, letting the time pass. She seemed so detached from all that was
happening when she was alone in her laboratory, completely absorbed in her own
world, literally. On the outside, she
was very petite physically, while behaving in a very childlike, immature
manner, with her annoying, devilish cackle as her trademark. However, on the inside lay a mysterious
past, one that even she dared not look upon. No one truly knew any real details of Washu's past, or of the emotional
pain they caused her. This was, in
theory, the main reason why she kept herself locked up in a disguise, both
physically and mentally. Only she knew
of her own emotions, ones that she would never have the courage to share with
anyone else.
Washu stopped her typing for moment to stretch. Looking up at the screen she took a minute to relax a bit. Lately her mind had been wandering from her
work, instead straying to thoughts of her daughter, Ryoko.
"Daughter? Yeah, right. That's all such a joke in Ryoko's mind. She doesn't realize how much I care about her, and how badly I
want to have a relationship with her. She treats me like a total inferior, like the child I am. I just wish she could open up to me,
someday, and that maybe I can find a way to better open up to her by ditching
this stupid disguise. I don't think
I'll never be strong enough, though," Washu thought aloud.
Her thoughts strayed from Ryoko
to Tenchi for a moment, as an image of his face flashed inside her mind. She had always seen him as very unique, not
just because he could generate the Wings of the Light Hawk at his own disposal,
but because he had a kind heart, which she decided was impossible for an
average male to possess after what had happened with her first and only
husband. At first she had thought of
him as a potential experiment, as a lab rat she could use to obtain
knowledge. But she soon grew closer to
Tenchi, getting to know him, and realizing that he was a lot more than an
average male Washu would've expected. She saw in his eyes a tender fire, one that showed loyalty and affection
for the girls of the house, one that would never forsake any one of them. Washu was drawn to him immediately upon
seeing this, but her conscience reminded her of what had happened before, and
the promise she had made to herself to never again become intimately involved
with a man. On top of all that, he was
very attractive, and Washu hadn't felt the touch of a man in several
millennia--
What are you thinking, you
naughty little girl? You are crazy; you
can't feel this way. Get your mind
right! Her principles were screaming at her from
within, letting her know that it simply would not be a good idea to walk down
that dark path again.
"I can't believe I'm even having
thoughts of feeling something like that for Tenchi. I've been able to avoid attraction to any male for almost 20,000
years now, and I'm not about to stop now!" Washu said aloud.
"You're the greatest Washu!"
"Washu is number one in the
universe!"
Washu smiled briefly at her
Washu-bots' encouragement. She then sat
back down and started typing once again, forgetting all of her mixed emotions
for the time being.
--------------------------------------
"It really is a scorcher out
here today," Tenchi complained to himself. "I don't know why I always have to be the one tilling the fields and why
we can't take turns on this job as well."
Tenchi laid his hoe on the
ground and sat down in the cool grass under the shade of a nearby tree.
"Whew! Much better."
He took a sip of water from the
canteen and took a moment to gather his thoughts. What Washu had said to him earlier that day was still weighing on
his mind.
"You don't get it, do you
Tenchi? The heart of a girl is a very
delicate thing, because when they have their world set upon something that
their heart desires and it continually eludes them, they have nothing left to
turn to, and their heart will be torn into. You have to understand that every girl here loves you in their own way,
each finding different positive qualities about you, Tenchi. Most guys would kill to have what you have going
on here, but you seem to act as if everything is normal. You're hurting the girls here, Tenchi,
especially Ryoko and Ayeka, because you are indecisive. It's more of the anticipation that is
killing them rather than the thought of not being picked. I know you have your own feelings for each of
us as well, Tenchi, and I think you are quite mature enough to return the love
that is so generously given to you here. I'm not trying to force you into anything, all I'm saying is that you
should try to respect what you have a bit more, and at least give Ayeka and
Ryoko the dignity they deserve, even if they do annoy you from time to time."
"But Washu, I've already said
time and again that I just know what my heart is trying to say, and I'm not
sure that I feel anything more than friendship towards any of them, so how am I
to choose when that is the case?"
"I'm not saying you should
choose now, Tenchi, I'm saying that when the time comes, you'll hear it within
every beat of your heart, and you'll feel it in the depths of your soul; a
calling, that this is the one you truly want to be with. I think your mind knows who it is you love,
Tenchi, you just have to find the answer within your heart."
Tenchi had been stunned by her
incredibly deep words. He didn't know
that Washu was capable of speaking her feelings so effortlessly, even if she
was the greatest scientific genius in the universe. He was speechless after her little soliloquy, his mouth trying to
form the words that his mind could not. With that, Washu simply walked past him, back into the isolation of her
laboratory. Indeed, Tenchi had thought
about what she told him, so far for the entire day. So he decided to lay it all down on the table, right then and
there, within his own thoughts.
"If I am mature enough to truly
love someone, then the answer is already here in front of me. I just have to find it, like Washu
said. First of all, there is Ryoko. A space pirate, a really cute one at that,
but very forceful and ill tempered. She's never afraid to speak her emotions, nor is she afraid to do
anything else from what I can see. Although she seems very hasty and volatile on the outside, I believe she
has a very caring and kind heart.
Then there is Ayeka. The always elegant, perfectly mannered first
princess of Jurai. Although she is very
snobbish at times, her intentions are good and she wishes only the best for me,
although at times her speaking for me does get annoying. Her constant fighting with Ryoko is what
troubles me, because I honestly don't know what she would do if I chose Ryoko
over her, or the other way around. There would definitely be dead bodies, which is something I really don't
want to have to deal with.
Sasami. Ayeka's younger sister, also a princess of
Jurai. She is always kind, sweet, and
good mannered, and will be very beautiful later on; everything a guy could want
in a girl. But the main problem is her
age, mainly that she won't even reach my age in Juraian years until long after
I am dead. I think of her more as my
little sister than anything else.
Mishoshi. Just her name alone could make you laugh,
instantly bringing to mind her extreme case of bubble-headedness. Although very sweet and caring in her
personality, her level of intelligence falls just under that of your average
domestic dog. I'm afraid Ryoko and
Ayeka together would kill both Mihoshi and myself if I ever chose her over the
rest.
Finally there's Washu. Very frail and petite, yet mysterious in
many ways. I'm probably the only one
here who can see right through her freakish little child-disguise, but why I'm
not exactly sure. I know the disguise
is to mask her true emotions, and her secret past, but what that consists of, I
am in the dark about. I believe that
she is capable of deep emotional thinking, as well as loving and caring,
judging on what I heard from her this morning. As for that child body she stays in, well, it is a serious
turn-off. But the one time I did see her
adult form gave me, err, well, let's say a significant nosebleed. She is full of life for her age, which she
did reveal to be over 20,000 years, and the most moving aspect of it all is how
we are so alike. We both lost someone
we loved much too soon, and I think that counts for something. We have a subconscious connection I believe,
that really no one else notices. I know
she has felt it, because she doesn't appear to act the same around me as she
does around the others. She gives me
the impression that she is acting more mature, as if the disguise she is
wearing is no longer on, or that she simply doesn't wish to mask anything from
me at all. But her strange ways only
seem to mystify me further, and I don't know exactly what to make of my
feelings for her. Yes I do care about
her a great deal, just as she does for me I'm sure. But do I love her in a way that differs from the other girls?"
"Tenchi!"
Tenchi was so lost in his
musings that he didn't hear Sasami calling his name several times.
"TENCHI!! IT'S LUNCH TIME, WHERE
ARE YOU?!"
The sound of his name piercing
through the air brought his mind out of its trance and back to reality. He finally realized he had been sitting
under that tree for quite some time now. He looked up and saw Sasami waving at him, shouting his name. Tenchi slowly stood up and stretched his
legs as he headed for the house. His
stomach grumbled loudly at the thought of food.
"Lord Tenchi," Ayeka announced
upon seeing Tenchi enter the front door. Everyone was already sitting the table, looking hungry and annoyed at
Tenchi's tardiness.
"Sorry I'm late everybody, I
kind of got caught up." Tenchi briefly
glanced in Washu's direction, and to his surprise found a startled Washu who
quickly diverted her eyes from him. She
was looking at me first? thought
Tenchi.
"Here Tenchi, I saved a spot for
you right here next to me," Ryoko remarked, the obvious seduction present in
her voice. Tenchi simply gave her his
typical prudish smile along with an innocent giggle. "Sure Ryoko, thanks," he replied, his cheeks a bit rosy. Already annoyed at Ryoko having gained the
upper hand with Tenchi at the dinner table, Ayeka shot Ryoko an evil
glare. Ryoko simply ignored the
princess for the time being and proceeded to be her usual blunt self.
"Wow, this is really great
Sasami," said Mihoshi, her mouth stuffed full of food.
"Thanks, I'm glad you like it."
Washu sat eating her meal in
silence as usual, but there was something Tenchi noticed about her that seemed
disturbing. She just seemed a bit
uneasy, which was far from her usual cheerful, devious nature. Meanwhile, Tenchi was having a hard time
focusing on his thoughts with Ryoko trying to grope him.
"Come on, Tenchi, try some of
this, it's really good."
"Ryoko, cut it out, will you?"
Ryoko leaned over to Tenchi, so
close that her soft lips brushed against his ear.
"Or, I have something much
tastier in my room if you want to try that instead," whispered Ryoko
alluringly.
Ayeka had seen about all her
stomach could stand. With a look of
murder upon her face, she stood up sharply and began shouting loud enough to interrupt
everyone else's meal.
"RYOKO! Every single day I have
to sit here and watch you fondle Tenchi like he is your toy or your
plaything! He is a human being, unlike
you, because you are lower than dirt, you pathetic horrendous mutation of a
life form. You are a monster, Ryoko, a
true curse to all humanity, and your entire existence is nothing but a plague
to the universe! If I were you, I would
have done everyone a huge favor and KILLED MYSELF LONG AGO!! You will never win Tenchi's heart, because
in order to do that you must have a heart as well, which you DON'T! You are nothing but a demon, Ryoko, and you
will never experience love from any sane person in this entire universe for all
eternity! Now leave Tenchi alone!!"
Everyone was visibly startled
and confused at Ayeka's sudden outburst, especially Tenchi. No one had ever seen Ayeka get so angry
before; usually she would make a simple degrading remark or gesture which Ryoko
would throw right back at her. Everyone
was too busy staring at Ayeka in shock to notice Ryoko's reaction, which was
the most visibly affected. Tenchi only
caught a brief glimpse of Ryoko's face before she darted away from the table,
but the sight he did see tore his heart into. The tears had already clouded her eyes and were now streaming down her
face, but it was too late for words, for in an instant she had vanished. Tenchi looked back at Ayeka, now wearing a
mask of anger towards a very surprised Ayeka. It wasn't until Washu stood up that Tenchi noticed the anger present on
her face. Until that moment, Tenchi
wasn't sure that he'd ever even seen Washu frown the way she was now. She shot Ayeka a horrible glance, her face
full of wrath before hauling out the door after her daughter. Tenchi finally stood up at this point and
glared at Ayeka.
"That was horrible, Ayeka,
absolutely the cruelest thing I think I've ever heard you say. How could you do that to Ryoko? Her heart is kind and loving, even though
she may seem a bit hasty on the outside. I think you owe her an apology."
Tenchi turned away from Ayeka,
who now had tears brimming in her own eyes. She couldn't believe he'd just taken up for that devil woman. He left the table and started upstairs
towards his room.
"L-Lord Tenchi??" Ayeka cried, but he ignored her.
Dammit Ayeka, why did you
have to do that? thought
Tenchi. I hope Washu can comfort
her. I'm sorry, Ryoko….
--------------------------------------
Washu searched frantically for
her daughter. Being linked with Ryoko
enabled her to feel Ryoko's emotions as well as hear her thoughts, and in
taking one look at Ryoko's feelings at this moment was enough to greatly upset
her. She couldn't believe the words
that Ayeka had shouted to Ryoko. She
was still in horror.
"Damn that snotty little bitch,
how DARE she speak to Ryoko that way, especially in front of me?!" Washu yelled aloud. She suddenly stopped in her tracks and
closed her eyes. Focusing on Ryoko, she
could for a brief second see the world through Ryoko's eyes, and immediately
she knew where she was. Now in her
adult form, she ran towards the direction of her daughter. She found Ryoko sitting beneath Funaho,
sobbing uncontrollably. It tore Washu
up inside to see her this way, and what hurt her worse is that she had never
been there all the times that Ryoko had cried before, times when she had needed
someone to hold her and comfort her. Now she was here to protect her, whether Ryoko wanted her to or
not. She wanted to make up for all
those times she had failed as a mother.
She slowly approached Ryoko from
behind and quietly kneeled down beside her. Ryoko didn't notice her at first, but she soon felt her presence when
Washu called out to her within her mind. Ryoko slowly lifted her head from her knees and gazed at Washu. Her face was flushed and stained with tears,
and her eyes bloodshot. Seeing Washu
with an expression of worry and concern on her now adult face, Ryoko stopped
crying long enough to say almost inaudibly, "Mom?"
Washu began to wipe Ryoko's
tears from her eyes and brush her matted hair off of her forehead.
"I'm here Ryoko, and from now on
I'll never leave you again. I'll always
be at your side, to take care of you and to comfort you at times like
these. I'm so sorry, Ryoko, for never
having been there in the past. Words
can't even express the guilt I am blinded by now. I love you, my baby."
Ryoko's face seemed to light up
with joy at Washu's affectionate words. Her eyes began clouding over, and her lips were quivering. She fell into Washu's arms, the tears now flowing
freely once again. But the tears of
sorrow and hurt were now washed away with tears of joy. Ryoko now realized someone actually cared
about her, that someone truly saw her for the human being she was. Tenchi certainly hadn't taken up for her at
all.
Washu rocked her daughter in her
arms for what seemed like hours, quietly listening to Ryoko's sobs and
whispering soothing words to her. Emotionally and physically exhausted, Ryoko soon fell asleep in her
arms. Washu carried her back to her
room, and gently laid her upon her bed. For a moment all she could do was stare down at Ryoko's sleeping eyes,
taking in the beauty of her face and of her heart. She was standing protectively over Ryoko's delicate frame when
she heard the creak of the door. Upon
turning around she found a rather surprised Tenchi staring at her mature adult
body. Washu looked at the floor, her
cheeks turning a rosy red. Tenchi
slowly sneaked into the room, every step taken in silence. He looked Washu in the face and saw hurt and
love at the same time. He knew what
Ayeka had said upset Washu just as much as it did Ryoko; it had upset
everybody. But for some reason, he
couldn't think about that right now. All he could think about was Washu, and how he just had to talk to her.
Is she using some kind of
mind control invention on me or what? I
can't stop thinking about her.
Tenchi broke the silence first,
staring down at his feet for a moment.
"W-Washu, uh, will you go for a
walk with me?" he asked innocently.
Washu was a bit surprised at his
request, but she complied nonetheless. Her senses seemed to have perked up when she heard him speak, and she
left the room with him smiling slightly.
There was an obvious uncanny
silence along the walk, both their minds running in circles. Tenchi's heart was pounding, as if he'd seen
a ghost, and Washu was feeling a little insecure. Tenchi was unaccustomed to seeing Washu in her adult form for
such a long period of time, and honestly she was strikingly beautiful. She was much taller, taller than Tenchi
even, and her features were more accentuated. Her ample adult breasts stood out rather evenly, and Tenchi found it
difficult to not glance at them from time to time. Her soft green eyes glowed in the sunlight, and her lips were
small and fully formed.
What is this I am
feeling? I feel so overwhelmingly
attracted to her, it's like I want to be with her, like I want to understand
her emotions. Is this….love……that I'm
feeling perhaps? What should I say to
her? What would the other girls do if
they found out? Tenchi's confusion was apparent on his
face, and it didn't go unnoticed.
"Tenchi, what's troubling
you? I can see your uncertainty," Washu
stated.
Oh God, please help me, I
can't hold my feelings back any longer. I have to say something to her before I go crazy…Tenchi mused subconsciously.
"Washu, have you ever considered
the possibility that you might fall in love again, even after what happened the
first time?"
Washu pondered the question
briefly after first wondering where Tenchi pulled that one from.
"Yes I have, Tenchi, but I swore
to myself that I would always hide behind a disguise that you and everyone else
sees day after day, and that would make it much easier for me to simply not
care enough to feel attracted to anyone. After a few thousand years I really got used to it, and it was no
problem for me."
"But didn't you ever get lonely,
or feel any need to be loved by someone?"
"Well, every once and a while,
when I was alone at night, I would think about my husband. He used to hide the remote control to the TV
under one of the pillows of the bed, and when I'd try to find it, he'd tackle
me to the bed and tickle the hell out of me," Washu replied, smiling
sadly.
Tenchi smiled back, but Washu
simply looked down and turned the other way. Tenchi heard her sniffling softly, which upset him. He didn't mean to make her cry. He laid his hand on her shoulder and
whispered in her ear.
"Just remember, Washu, that
there are others out there. You are
loved by many, even if you don't realize it. You have a rare gift, Washu, a gift of genius, and a gift of
beauty. I don't think you should waste
these gifts by not having anyone to share them with, that's all."
Washu slowly turned to face
Tenchi, the doubt evident in her eyes. Her aquamarine eyes sparkled from the fresh tears now brimming in
them. She was touched by his words, yet
confused at the same time. She felt
more drawn to him now than she ever had before, and she knew she was soon to be
crossing the point of no return, the point at which love and friendship
collide, the point where once crossed, her heart would belong solely to Tenchi,
and only he could make or break her future as an emotional being. She inwardly scolded herself for being so
weak, and it was frustrating to have these feelings arising within her after
having not felt them in over twenty millennia.
"What are you saying Tenchi?"
she asked quietly.
"I'm saying….that.." Tenchi stammered.
Just tell her.
Tell her what?
Tell her you love her.
But do I? What about the others?
Do you feel the same for her
as you do them?
No, I feel…strongly for
Washu…like nothing I've ever felt..
Now is when you must cast
your outer shell away, that shy routine you always play when you are around the
girls. You have to grow up sometime.
The battle in Tenchi's mind
seemed to rage on, until he could stand it no more.
Washu's innocent, and in some
ways hopeful expression searched his for clues. Her heart pounded in anticipation, and the echoes of love's past
were still fresh on her mind.
"I'm saying…Washu….that..I…I.."
"What is it Tenchi?"
"I…I love you, Washu."
Oh please God no, this can't
be happening to me.
Like a dam that had been
breached, all of Washu's inner feelings and memories came rushing to the
surface. She felt panicked, cornered,
and confused all at once, for the first time in her life as a genius
scientist. With no idea how to react to
the overwhelming sensations building within her, she did the only thing that
she could think of. She turned and
ran. No longer able to control her
emotions, she began sobbing uncontrollably, angry at having allowed herself to
be pushed over the edge.
"Hey, wait! Washu, I'm sorry!" Tenchi shouted, chasing after her.
She didn't get very far before
her emotional breakdown caused her to trip over her own feet and collapse to
the ground. She sat there on the soft
grass on her knees, her heart overflowing with both sadness and joy. What was she doing? This may be the only other man in her life
that she will ever feel this way about, so why should she turn her back on it?
What is you are afraid of,
Washu? Why can't you just admit it to
both yourself and to him that you are in love with him as well?
Tenchi caught up to her and
kneeled down beside her. He cautiously
put his arm around her and pulled her close to him, feeling her sobs wracking
her body and setting his heart afire.
"I'm sorry if I offended you in
any way, Washu, I shouldn't have just laid that on you like that."
Washu sniffed and wiped her
nose, embarrassed by her showing of emotion. She, the great Washu, wasn't supposed to act like this. She looked up at Tenchi's worried
expression.
"It's not that, Tenchi, it's
just that I've held my emotions back for so long now that I didn't ever have
any fear of them being opened up once more. Now that you've succeeded in doing that, I'm just afraid of being hurt
again."
Tenchi lifted her chin with his
finger and looked into her delicate eyes. What he saw was a side of Washu he had never seen before: afraid, lost,
and vulnerable. She looked so innocent
and helpless at that moment that Tenchi felt he had to do something to reassure
her. He did the last thing she would've
wanted him to.
He leaned down and kissed her
tenderly.
The initial touch of his lips to
hers was enough to send chills and shockwaves throughout her body, since it had
been so long since she had experienced this sensation. She was soon lost in the moment, savoring
every sensation of his touch that she possibly could. She'd subconsciously dreamed about this moment for so long, yet
dreaded it as well. She knew that
Tenchi would never hurt her, but the scar of the past still ran deep through
her heart, and was enough to keep her feelings locked away within the depths of
her soul.
Tenchi broke the kiss and looked
down at Washu. Her expression was
unreadable this time, which surprised and concerned Tenchi a little. Washu slowly sat up and was silent for a
moment. After a while of staring at the
ground she looked over at Tenchi's puzzled visage.
"Tenchi, I cannot allow myself to
do this. I can't fall in love with
you."
Tenchi was both shocked and hurt
incredibly by her words.
"Wh-what do you mean,
Washu? Have I done something wrong?" he
asked sincerely.
"No Tenchi, you haven't done
anything wrong, in fact, you've done everything right. This is about me, and my past, and some
things that I simply must leave alone. Love is one of them, Tenchi. I
can't even begin to describe the pain I was caused when my husband and my child
were taken away from me. My heart was
literally torn into. I swore to myself
then that I would never again fall in love, and so far that has gone exactly as
I planned. But then I met you, Tenchi. You were so different from every guy I've
ever known, because you were truthful and honest, and your heart was warm. I tried to bury the feelings I felt growing
inside of me, but it was no good. I
couldn't deny the fact that I was slowly being drawn closer to you. I tried to keep my distance, though, if you
noticed, by not speaking with you directly when I had the chance, and not ever
asking you to come into my lab."
"Yeah, I guess I remember now a
bit. But Washu, please try to
understand, I would never hurt you, and I want to do anything to help you with
your past and your problems, because I want to be a part of your life. Can't you understand that I've always been
able to see through your disguise right down to the core of your emotions? I knew you were always hiding things, deep
down, but I couldn't tell what they were. And even if I could tell, it wouldn't be my place to find out, but for
you to tell me instead. Please Washu,
all I'm asking for is a chance with you, just try to understand where I'm
coming from."
Washu was speechless. Normally, in fact always, it was the girls
begging for Tenchi to come to them. Now
Tenchi was begging her. She was
flattered by this, and she soon felt her inner defensive barriers slowly
starting to break down.
Dammit Tenchi, why must you
put me in this position?
"I know you would never hurt me
Tenchi, so I really have no reason to be afraid. I really don't know it is that I am afraid of at this point
anymore. I just wish I could erase
everything that has ever happened to me and start over."
"We all wish that sometimes,
Washu, but it doesn't mean that because you've had problems in the past you
have to face them alone in the future. For some reason I feel so obligated to help you, that I don't know if I
can go on without you. Please, Washu,
you can confide in me. Anything and
everything you tell me I will hold fast in my heart, where you can be sure no
one but you and myself alone will ever be able to see it."
Washu sat in silence for a brief
moment, contemplating his words.
He can't go on without me he
said.
A faint smile crossed her face
for a second before it faded, and at that moment she decided it was time to
tear the walls down. No more fear of
rejection, no more fear of hurt. She
had the greatest love right here in front of her that she would never find
again, and she wasn't going to turn her back on it. She looked up at Tenchi and grinned happily. Tenchi saw this and returned the smile,
hopeful that he had made an impact.
Washu looked at him and simply
said gently, "Okay."
She wrapped her arms around his
neck and pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss. Her fierceness in doing so almost
overpowered him, given she hadn't felt the touch of a real man in several
thousand years. After a few moments the
couple pulled back and stared into each other's eyes. Tenchi affectionately stroked her cheek as her tears were
replaced with a radiant smile.
"I will tell you everything,
Tenchi, since now I see no reason to hide anything else from you, or from
anyone else for that matter."
"You don't have to, Washu; it's
totally up to you what you wish to tell me. I care about you enough to respect anything you tell me, but understand
that I am not forcing you to do anything. Anything about your past that you share with me will never, in a million
years, change the way I feel about you. I swear this on everything that I am."
Washu smiled warmly at him for
his reassuring words.
"I know, Tenchi, and I trust you
with all of my heart, but I feel it necessary to be open with you. If this is going to work, I must be
completely honest with you at all times, just as I would expect the same of
you."
Tenchi nodded and adjusted his
sitting position to a more comfortable one. Washu started to feel uneasy once again, feeling her fear of rejection
rising to the surface. She began to
feel uncertain towards sharing her dark past with him, afraid that he would
turn his back on her.
No Washu, he would never do
that to you, stop worrying.
She took a moment to catch her
breath before she gathered her thoughts and started speaking.
"First of all Tenchi, the
earliest past that you know of me is my first marriage and my child that was
taken away, and before that you know nothing. There is a great deal more than what you know that happened before I was
married, Tenchi."
"Okay. Go ahead," Tenchi replied, and reassured her it was alright to
continue.
"Tenchi, I don't know how
exactly to say this to you, so I'm simply going to say it. I know that I am the oldest being you've
ever known, being over 20,000 years old that is. But the truth is that I have existed, in one form or another, since
the beginning of time. In the beginning
I was part of a triumvirate of three goddesses: Tsunami, Tokimi, and
myself. We were the children of the
universe, born to rule over all and control light and darkness. We were given limitless power, and that power
was truly an enormous responsibility to control. We were together within the parallel dimension from which we
ruled until galactic calendar year -013517.4, if I remember correctly. That translates into about three and a half
million years ago, when the first problem arose."
"Wow, I didn't know you were
that old--" Tenchi remarked, giggling softly.
"Watch it," Washu replied
playfully, and then continued on.
"Tsunami was the first one to
leave. She claimed that she had found a
dying world of good-hearted people she wished to save, and her power as a
goddess was not enough to save them. The only way she could do anything was to renounce her goddess powers
and pass them on to the lifeblood of this world. She took on the form of a tree that contained all of her powers
and knowledge, and planted this tree within the soil of the planet. Soon, many identical trees began to grow all
over the planet, thus bringing the planet out of its dying state, and restoring
the people to youth and health. I'm
sure you know what planet I'm talking about, don't you?"
"Jurai," Tenchi replied flatly.
"Yes. You see it was Tsunami who created the Juraian life trees and the
life giving water that now flows freely upon the planet, as well as the power
of the Light Hawk Wings. It was also
her power that gave its inhabitants incredible longevity, so long as they
remained on the planet. Tokimi,
naturally, was deeply angered by Tsunami's desertion of the Supreme
Triumvirate, and she vowed never to let Tsunami return to our dimension. She couldn't believe that Tsunami had let
feelings for mere mortals get in the way of our responsibility as supreme
rulers of the universe. Tsunami was
always the kind hearted one of the three, which technically was a bad thing,
because our hearts were supposed to be totally neutral. When it comes to ruling the entire universe,
you really can't let your emotions get in the way."
Washu paused to take a breath
before continuing. She noticed the
fascination twinkling in Tenchi's eyes instead of the disbelief she
expected. She was already beginning to
feel better.
"It wasn't too long after
Tsunami left that I began to lose my ability to keep my emotions in check. I saw how happy many different races were
with their families, their children, their husbands and wives, and I began to
feel lonely. I had nothing where I was,
all though it may have seemed like everything; I could've completely wiped out
an entire race with the snap of my fingers. But I wasn't allowed to feel anything towards anybody in the position
that I was in; I couldn't love or hate or feel any emotion that a human could,
without risk of angering Tokimi. I was
nothing but a machine, programmed to keep everything in balance. I began to wonder what it would be like to
have my own family, and my own children. I think it was right about twenty-six thousand years ago that I decided
I no longer wanted the position I had so well sustained for millions of
years. Tokimi was outraged when she
found out that I was to betray her as well, and she wasn't going to let me go
as easily as she had Tsunami, so she attacked me, and a huge battle
ensued. We fought for weeks and months,
using all the power and energy we could muster, destroying many whole worlds in
the process, for which I am very regretful of now. I realize that many innocent people died because of my insistence
to become like them. In our fight with
one another, over 40 entire civilizations of innocent beings were
obliterated. You can't understand how I
felt afterwards. Tokimi was emotionless,
just as always."
Tenchi didn't say anything. He continued to stare blankly at Washu,
searching for some logic in it all, trying to put the pieces together. Washu didn't know what to say to his vacant
expression at this point, so she continued.
"In the end I managed to finally
overpower her and break free of her grasp just long enough to escape our
dimension and cross over to the physical universe. Now being what we were, that is, beings that could only exist in
a dimension where there was no definition of 'matter,' I had to seal all of my
powers and then transubstantiate into full human form before crossing over, or
else I would have evaporated out of existence the moment I came into contact
with the physical universe. So during
the process of crossing over, I sealed all of my powers and knowledge into
three gems, which I believe you are rather familiar with."
"No way! You mean that the gems Ryoko wears which
gives her all her strength contain the most destructive powers in the
universe?" Tenchi said, wide-eyed.
"Yes, but she will never be able
to even come close to unlocking their full powers. No mortal will be able to, except a super being, such as Tokimi,
but she is very far from here. The
powers that Ryoko gets from them represent only about 1/1,000,000,000,000 of
the full capability of the gems. And
like I said, no mortal being could ever unlock even close to the full potential
encased in the gems. I created Ryoko
knowing this, so I gave them to her to give her incredible strength and power,
even though that power does have limits when used by her."
"You know most of the rest from
there; I spent the last 25,000 years on various planets trying to make a life
for myself. I spent a great deal of
time at the science academy, which is where I met my husband. But I've put all of that behind me. In lusting after the good, joyful things I
saw in mortal beings, I failed to see all of the pain that comes along with
it. It was at that point that I
regretted renouncing my position. I
didn't want to have to deal with the kind of emotional pain that humans had to
deal with. After my husband and child
were taken from me, I decided I wouldn't even be an adult anymore, saying that
everything associated with adults such as social status, money, and everything
else, was utterly stupid and ridiculous. So I turned my back on all of it, hiding myself from the rest of world
within the body of a child."
"But you no longer have to do
that, Washu, because you have people here who love you for who you are, not for
who you were. I love you right now, in
the present, and nothing is going to change that. You'll always be my little-Washu," Tenchi replied, taking Washu's
hand.
Washu smiled tenderly at him,
blushing slightly. She leaned down and
laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of his
beating heart.
"I love you so much Tenchi,
I've…totally fallen for you. Now my
heart is yours, and I pray that you'll never break it, because you must
understand how fragile it is right now. This thing called love…..is virtually new to me, because it has been so
long since the last time I felt anything like it."
"I will never hurt you Washu,
and I will never let anything else hurt you either. I will die to protect you if I must."
Washu's smile deepened as she
clutched his chest and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Tenchi felt her grip on him and became
concerned.
"Washu, are you ok?"
"Tenchi, there is something else
I must tell you. I didn't seal all of
my goddess powers into those gems. There
are a few things which stayed with me even after I transubstantiated which I
could not do anything about."
"Well, like what?"
"I am still immortal,
Tenchi. That means I will never grow
old and die, nor can I be killed or destroyed by any force whatsoever. I will have to watch you waste away one day,
and leave me forever, and that is what I am most afraid of, Tenchi. The fact that I won't age another day but
you will is what makes me fear the future."
Tenchi took her hand and placed
it upon his heart.
"Can you feel that Washu? That is my love for you, beating
strong. It will beat exactly this way
for the next thousand years. And when
this beat stops, my love for you will continue to beat strong, right
here."
Tenchi took her hand,
intertwined in his own, and placed upon her chest. Washu looked down at her own chest, then back up into his
face. She was overcome with emotion at
this point, and she couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears began pouring from her quivering eyes as she was moved
by his incredibly comforting words. She
didn't want to be anywhere but here, right now, in this moment, forever. Tenchi held her tight, allowing her to pour
out all the emotions that she had locked up tight for so long, emotions that
she needed to release. After a few
moments, she released his shirt and looked up at him.
"But what about the others?"
"Well, I don't know. I care for every one of them, and I don't
want to see them hurt. But I knew it
would eventually come down to a choice, and at least one of them would be hurt,
so I'll just have to do the best I can in telling them, and pray that my death
comes swiftly."
Washu giggled a bit at his
reply. True, she did love her daughter
very much, and she wanted a relationship with her, but she honestly wasn't sure
how Ryoko would react to this. She was
afraid that Ryoko would never forgive her for 'stealing' Tenchi, and would
never speak to her again. Things
normally had a way of working out with Ryoko, however. Then again, this was Tenchi.
"What ever happened to Tokimi
anyway?" Tenchi asked curiously.
"She still resides in the
dimension we were born in. But after I
left she decided not to rule over the universe anymore, since she obviously
didn't want to do it alone. I think she
just let herself fade from the memories of everyone and lives there in solitude
now. I'm positive she still possesses
enormous power though, and could wipe out the entire universe in a single blow,
but she doesn't because she knows her two sisters are out there somewhere, and
deep down I believe she doesn't wish us any harm."
"Well that's good to know," said
Tenchi, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
"Come on, let's go back home,
I'll bet everyone is getting worried," stated Washu.
"On one condition."
"What?"
"No more of that freakish little
child disguise. That thing always kind
of gave me the creeps. You look too
beautiful the way you are now."
Washu smiled. "Now that I've found you, my Tenchi, I have
no need for that disguise anymore. You
set my feelings free, and for that I am eternally grateful."
"Good, then let's go back."
Tenchi stood up and took Washu's
hands. He pulled her up off of the
ground and she took him in an embrace. Tenchi felt a familiar feeling within his nose when she whispered seductively
to him.
"So, what are we going to do
when we get home, hmmm? You know I
never got that last sample out of you…." Washu whispered, her tongue barely brushing against his ear lobe.
"Ughh, maybe later, Washu,
haha," replied a rather nervous Tenchi.
Washu giggled at him as their
lips came together in a passionate kiss. She caressed the back of his neck with her fingernails, and he wrapped
his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She had truly found her own personal heaven. Never in the 20,000 years she was sworn to
celibacy did she ever imagine breaking that promise with herself and reopening
her past, and falling in love. Now she
had someone to share it all with. Tenchi.
The couple ended the kiss and
walked back towards the house hand in hand, the sun setting in the
background. Neither one of them spoke
about their feelings, or their sadness, or their mixed emotions, instead
relishing in the comfort of each other's company. They would never stray from each other's side, always together,
never one without the other.
Not Without You
Hear the sound of the rain,
I am in the cold.
The quiet glow of the stars,
Now the memories begin to unfold.
I am drifting in this moment,
Not without you,
But in the peace of your arms,
Savoring in heaven from whence you were sent.
Only with your love can I go on,
But in that absence I am gone,
For to not have you is to not have water,
My soul thirsts for us together.
I will not speak my mind,
But you will understand.
What it is you mean to me
Is within my heart held in your hands.
So here we are, with our love so true
No more emotions or sad memories.
For new ones are created each day
Together forever, not without you.
--------------------------------------
So what'd you think? Just
on a little note, I write whatever idea my mind gets. My writings generally don't reflect my opinions on the actual
story. I will say that I am a hardcore
Ryoko+Tenchi fan, but since I had this idea, I wrote it. Visit my website at http://www.weatherfantasy.net/ and
send any question, comments, flames in to OzZMaN547@aol.com. Thanks for reading!
Signed OzZMaN……