The mech shivered as he woke up, gasping and panting for breath. He could distantly hear vices. "Assign him somewhere-"
"Twins, they should get rid-"
All he cared about however was the steady sound of sparks pulsing, assuring him that no one dead was near.
0o0o0o0o0o00oo0
When the twins saw him, they knew instantly he wasn't going to be a hard one to crack. He was very twitchy, glancing everywhere for something only he heard and only he saw, and his hands were holding onto a bag so tightly that it was surprising the hand didn't break.
Sideswipe said, "Two days."
Sunstreaker snorted. "Three orns."
The mechs optics switched to them, and the mech seemed to take a deep breath, staring at the two. The twins shifted a little uncomfortably under the scrutiny of that gaze. Certainly they were stared at as an abnormality because of being twins, but that in and of itself wasn't the reason why the mech should be staring so hard- The mechs gaze broke off, as he turned fast to face an approaching mech. "Are you Red Alert?
"Yes." The voice was slightly hesitant, and Red Alert took a deep calming breath to reply more firmly, "yes, I am Red Alert."
"Hmph, you're not going to last very long, no doubt-" Red Alerts optics flickered slightly. "But, those two twins are going to be your main source of trouble."
Red Alerts optics flicked back over his shoulder at the twins, as he evaluated them, this time in a professional sense. He nodded, gaze flickering back to the mech in front of him. "I'll deal with it as it comes."
The mech laughed and walked out, leaving the twins alone with their new security director. Sunstreaker smirked, stalking over to where Sideswipe stood, and said, "one orn."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Red Alerts optic ridge rose as he stared into the room. It had been filled with water, and then a large sheet of glass placed in the doorway to make sure that the water wouldn't escape. He stared at the water, thinking. "Twins?"
"What?" Sunstreaker asked, disgruntled that Red Alert had already managed to guess that it had been them.
"How did you do this? The water surely would've burst out by now, and the glass is bigger then the doorway, so you couldn't of gotten through that way-" Red Alert said, staring at it. The twins exchanged looks.
"You're not mad?"
"No, just curious. Alright. As punishment, you two get to drain the room, and your pay will be docked for the expenses."
The twins jaws dropped. "You can't-"
Red Alert smirked as he turned to look at them. "Yes, I can actually. Have fun. If it isn't finished by the end of the next two orns, I'll dock even more pay."
Red Alert strolled away, his smirk growing as the twins exchanged looks behind him. They probably wouldn't do so right now, but once Red Alert docked the pay, they would.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The twins grumbled as they took down the prank. After receiving that all of their pay had been docked because that's how much it had cost, they finally believed Red Alert. "Alright, what are we going to do to him next?"
"We're going to get back at him."
0o0o0o0o00oo0
For three vorns it went back and forth. The twins moved fast, trying to get rid of Red Alert, who managed to avoid most of their pranks, and Red Alert would order them to clean it up.
The stalemate between the two opposing forces grew, and grew, and grew. Until finally the twins decided to take shifts, pranking others night and day. They didn't realize how hard they were wearing down on Red Alert until one day-
Red Alert came into the room, rubbing his optics wearily, absent-mindedly dodging the tricks that the twins had set up. He picked up a energon cube, and stared at it as it changed color. He tasted it, and pulled a face at how it tasted, but drank it down anyways. The twins exchanged glances, and Sunstreaker asked, "Why'd you drink it?"
"We have an energon shortage coming up into the future. Pretty soon their won't be much energon left. We need to save every drop that we can." Red Alert said, rubbing his optics tiredly.
"Red Alert!"
Red Alert sighed, turning. "Coming sir."
Red Alert moved forward, and the twins exchanged looks as a medic entered into the room. Red Alert stiffened, looking at the medic, and then back at the commander. "You said that-"
"I'm sorry Red Alert, but they-"
The medic interrupted, "I won't test on you. I just merely wish to do a quick check up. You can have someone sit in on it to make sure that I don't do anything more if you wish."
Red Alert looked at the medic, and back at the commander, backing up. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe exchanged a few muttered words behind them. "What's going on?"
"I don't know. It looks like the medic wants to do something."
"Brilliant." The sarcasm made a slight whistling sound as it flew over his head. "But Red Alert doesn't want to go, that much is certain-"
Red Alert sighed, an almost defeated sound. "Alright, I'll come. How long should it take?"
"Only three breems."
Red Alert turned to the twins, making them both jump. "You two, I expect this prank to be cleaned up by then."
They nodded, and watched as the group vanished towards the medbay. "Sides, something's not right here. Why would Red Alert need a medic? He always seems a bit twitchy, but other then that, he hasn't gotten into any fights or anything."
Sideswipe shrugged, and looked at Sunny. Both were surprised at the concern felt, since usually they only cared about each other. Their first loyalty was to themselves, but it looked as if Red Alert had managed to get his way into it.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Red Alert looked at the doctor hopefully. "Is their any way to get rid of it?"
The medic paused, and shook his head regretfully. "No, I'm sorry. You're glitch is firmly entrenched in your CPU. If we tried to get it out, your entire memory bank would be wiped and you'd probably offline permanently."
Red Alert sagged, staring at the medic, then he slowly nodded. "You'll no doubt want to go somewhere else-"
"NO! I'm sticking through this war, no matter what. I'm not going to allow anyone or anything to chase me away. I've survived the twins." Red Alert said firmly, optics blazing.
The medic watched him go, and sighed. "I don't think he'll last too long. Watch him commander. Those with glitches, especially like his, usually try to suicide sometime or another.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
The twins were distinctly nervous for some reason. It had been nearly a vorn since the medic had left, and they had noticed a change in Red Alert. The paranoid mech would withdraw into himself for orns on end, optics gazing at something only he could see.
Other mechs became more hostile towards him as it spread across the base that Red Alert had a glitch. More then once Red Alert would come in from a patrol with large dents that seemed unexplainable, and the twins couldn't attack others on just the idea that they might have been the ones who had hurt Red Alert. So they watched closely, becoming worried despite themselves.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe patrolled the empty corridors, grumbling to themselves. They would have to be on duty the moment they wished they were in their recharge bunks. Sunstreaker nudged Sideswipe as they passed by Red Alerts door. "Should we go in to surprise him?"
Sideswipe grinned and nodded, as they both poked their heads around the corner. And Sunstreaker was suddenly aware of several things things.
Red Alert stood in a small pool of light, a knife in one hand, staring at a pulsing energon tube in another. One hand rose holding the knife rose, and Red Alert slowly began to cut his own energon tube- "NO!"
Red Alert looked up, stunned as two giant mechs threw themselves at him, one wrenching the knife away, the other putting a hand over the slight cut. "Twins." He whispered, optics wide.
"You, you idiot! Don't scare us like that!"
Red Alert stared at them as if he had never seen them before. "Why would you two care? Don't you see, it's all gone! My entire life! Everyone knows, I can't be left alone, and those voices! I just want to be free! I don't want to hear them anymore!" His voice was desperate, and shaky.
The twins exchanged horrified glances. Red Alert couldn't suicide on them! He was too much fun! "We care Red Alert. How can you expect us not to? You haven't quit. Not once. No matter what we throw at you, you never gave up. You would always have some order to turn it around and have us pay for what we did."
Red Alert looked away, optics tired and sunken. "I know. I still do. But it's too hard! Every night I dream about when I was a prisoner, and they were experimenting on me-"
Sunstreaker abruptly pulled the trembling mech into a hug. "Don't worry, if any come close we'll blast them away. After all, we're the ones who make you glitch, no one else, right Sides?"
Sideswipe grinned as he settled down next to Sunstreaker. "Of course."
They spent the entire night, and the next ones making sure that Red Alert wouldn't try to suicide once again.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Prowl sighed, checking the list. He had two of the mechs that he needed for the Ark here in this base, however-
BOOM! "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker!" The twins stuck out their tongues as they fled the wrath of a mech covered in soot. Inferno, the single mech crazy enough to volunteer to help Prowl round up the Ark's members, chuckled at the sight. "Well, it looks like those two would be our main fighters. But I wonder who's chasing them?"
The mech in question stopped as he noticed the visitors. "Stand and identify yourselves!" came the authoritive bark that should've sound ridiculous coming from what looked like a pile of soot. But it wasn't. "I'm Inferno, and this is Prowl." Inferno said cheerily, looking at the soot. "Who are you?"
"I'm-" the mech ducked as a giant water balloon went sailing towards his head. It instead landed on Inferno. "I'm Red Alert. TWINS! We got company, so straighten out!"
Their was silence for a moment, and then three more water balloons went sailing towards them. Red Alert brought up a gun (also covered in soot) and fired. The water balloons exploded mid-air, and the twins whined, "Hey, that's cheating!"
"We have company you two! " Red Alert roared back. "Now, as for you two, I believe it would be best to move you out of the way. It's the day I met the twins, so their doing one big prank festival to see who can do the best prank. Most of the base is on it. The commander gave it his OK, so I'm currently being hunted-"
Red Alert stopped mid step, glaring at the ground suspiciously. "Muddug, is that you?"
The ground opened up as a scowling mech got out. "How did you know?"
""You always bury their. Take these two, and get them to the safest area. I'll deal with them as soon as I can capture the rest-"
CLANG! CRASH! BOOM! "Ouch, sounds like somebody went down the stairs that the twins dismantled so it would fall apart. Have you seen where Stronghand is?"
"I think he went off with Inuss to go and try to capture the twins."
'Huh, they won't get too far. Anyways, off with you, I'll be back as soon as possible."
Inferno offered, "Do you want me to give you a hosing down so that way you aren't covered in soot?"
"Thanks for the offer, but no. The soot will keep any acid Dica might be using from eating through too far."
Red Alert was off with that, warily watching for any pranks. Inferno turned to the guide, asking, "Does this happen every day?"
"Oh no, just today. The commander was so proud about receiving two famous mechs, he didn't even protest despite Red Alerts warnings. Most of us mechs have been hiding in the safe zone as we wait for nightfall so red Alert can throw them in the brig."
Prowl nodded. "I see. That'll make my job easier I suppose."
"Oh, and why are you here?"
"I am under order to bring the twins an offer to become part of the Ark's crew."
Muddug crashed to the ground, his CPU overloaded from the idea that anyone would want the twins. Inferno looked around, and said, "Well, I suppose we can find the safe zone ourselves."
"We have a .000001 chance of finding it however."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Red Alert ushered the twins into the office, scrubbing at his paint, scowling. "If this soot stains, you're both going to be paying for it."
The twins rolled their optics. They heard it often enough. Red Alert was about to go towards the wash racks, when a voice behind him said, "Umm, do you mind guiding me to the wash racks as well?"
Red Alert turned, looking at the mech who had spoken. It was the fire truck from earlier. "Certainly. I suppose you have a reason why?"
"Yes, well, I wasn't originally painted brown, but I was told that the paint washes right off."
Red Alert looked at the brown fire truck, and shook his head. "I thought Muddug-" Re
"He crashed from when he heard the news."
"WHAT?!" Two identical screams floated out from behind them, and the fire truck nodded.
"See, that was his reaction as well."
Red Alert was curious, but refrained from asking. If the twins wished to tell him later, they would do so. "Well, the wash racks aren't too far away." He said, gesturing.
0o0o0o0o0
The twins stared at Prowl, feeling as if they had been lifted to cloud 7. "Wait, what about Red Alert?"
""What do you mean?"
"Usually, well, no, never mind that. EVERYWHERE we go, Red Alert usually comes along as well as the only security director able to handle us."
"More like the others go glitchy."
"Red Alerts glitchy."
"Yeah, but he isn't Insane glitchy, just glitchy."
"That may be, but that doesn't mean anything. Red Alert is glitchy."
"But he was glitchy before we ever met him. But Red Alert was the first one to doge our pranks."
"Red Alert, unfortunately, will not be coming. We already have a security director lined up." Prowl said.
"Red Alert should be happy."
"Yes! Fresh prey!"
Both twins laughed evilly as they began mapping out in their minds a way to prank the new security director. Prowl ignored it, holding onto the thin, slight hope that the one he had chosen might be able to handle the twins. Already that hope had taken a rather big blow."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Inferno groaned and cursed fluently as he scrubbed at the brown paint. Red Alert cursed himself as he scrubbed at the soot. "What did they do? Mix something to make it stick?"
Inferno looked up, a wry smile twitching his mouth. "How about this, I'll scrub you if you scrub me."
Red Alert looked at him blankly. "It's obvious that you're not making any progress on the harder parts of your body, and I can't reach one of my sides very well, because I only have one hand-"
Red Alert hesitated, and then nodded. His glitch was conspicuously absent as he allowed Inferno to scrub his back, and Red Alert strangled the purr of contentment that nearly escaped his vocalizer. Inferno, not knowing what Red Alert was thinking, scrubbed gently, not wanting to accidentally hurt the mech. He could see countless marks where dents had been hammered out and where parts had to be replaced.
Red Alert had obviously gone through a lot, and Inferno found himself wondering about each mark, and what was the story behind it. Inferno took a step back. "There, I think I got off all the soot."
Red Alert shrugged. "I'll have to take your word for it."
Inferno chuckled softly, and Red Alert cautiously scrubbed at the brown paint that covered Inferno's own paintjob, and watched as it slowly revealed itself.
Red Alert took a step backwards and nodded. "You're done. Let me get a towel-"
Red Alert turned and slipped on a bar of soap anime style, to fall backwards. Inferno, the dashing gentleman he was, leapt foreword to catch him, and ended up falling as well. They landed in a crumpled heap in the middle of the steamy washroom, Red Alert on the floor, and Inferno halfway on top. He looked down into Inferno's optics saying, "I don't believe I even got your name."
"It's Inferno. Are you alright?" Inferno asked quickly, helping Red Alert to get up as he got up himself.
"Yes." Red Alert stood up shakily, and flinched as the twins came piling into the small room.
"Red Alert, guess what?"
"What?"
"Guess!"
"You two are being transferred, and I for once won't have to accompany you and make sure you don't do anything stupid and kill your commanders."
"Right on!"
"I'll give the guy three orns. If you get rid of him in any less time I'll have to say you're slipping." Red Alert said with a straight face. "After all, when I first met you, you two were saying that's how much I'd last."
Inferno, curious, asked, "What are you guys to each other."
"I'm like their older brother who watches them." Red Alert said dryly. "Or maybe a younger brother, depending on your view, but sometimes I feel like their creators."
The twins scowled at him, and Red Alert left, a still curious Inferno following him. The twins exchanged looks as Sunstreaker said, "Bet you five that they'll exchange pager numbers so that way they can talk to each other. Those two are already love struck."
SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSs
This was starting out to be angst, but it refused, and went down the humor line towards the end. But, hey, can I just say that I really had no idea what I was aiming for when I wrote this? I had no plotline in mind, and I have no idea what to think of it. You'll have to tell me yourselves.