Author's Note: I react a lot like Tweek does... Okay, maybe a bit less exaggerated, but still, those fucking things scare me.
Vladimir: It's cuz you're a pussy.
Me: Nu-uh, it's just startling is all!
Vladimir: Sure, that's why you scream every time even after staring at it for three minutes straight knowing what will happen when you open it.
Me: Oh shut up.
Disclaimer: If I owned South Park, Creek would so be canon.
/OO/
Tweek bit his lip, nervously staring at the can of crescent rolls on the counter. It was his turn to make dinner tonight, and he'd been doing perfectly fine minus a few spills up until now. He couldn't do it. He refused to open that god damned can of heart attack and fear and there was nothing anyone could do or say to make him-
"Tweek!" Craig called from the dinning room, sounding impatient yet bored at the same time. "What's taking so long in there? Did the food grow legs and a mouth or something and start talking to you?"
"Gah! Jesus dude, why would you say something like that?! Do you think I'm that bad at cooking? O-or is something like that actually possible? Oh god, what if the food does that while you're eating it and you start choking and then it crawls out and tells me I'm a horrible cook?! T-that's way too much pressure, man!"
Though Craig couldn't be seen from Tweek's current position in the kitchen, the eye roll Craig gave was felt by everyone in the house, which was only the two of them for right now since Tweek's parents were away at a coffee convention. "Tweek, relax. Something like that would only happen if you were a school chef, and you aren't one, so it should be fine. Just hurry up, okay? I'm really hungry."
Tweek bit his lip again, but nodded to himself, calling out with a shaky voice to his boyfriend. "O-okay! D-dinner will be ready soon!" He slowly approached the can of rolls on the counter, reaching out with a trembling hand to grab it. 'Come on!' he thought, gritting his teeth. 'You can do this! Craig is waiting on you! I-if he gets too impatient he might leave and then you'll be single again and oh god I can't handle the thought of trying to date.'
It was still a miracle in Tweek's eyes that he was even with Craig right now. Then again, it hadn't been him asking out Craig. Oh no, he was far too shy for something like that. Not to mention all the possible ways for something to go wrong, like tripping over his own words so badly Craig couldn't understand him, or tripping and falling and making a fool of himself, or just plain getting rejected by the raven. He was thankful that he'd been the one getting asked...
Shaking his head, Tweek focused on the task at hand: Getting that damnable can of rolls open. He picked it up tentatively, making sure it didn't somehow explode just by being touched. He knew that to open one, he'd have to tear the paper off of the can, and he never did like the idea of something being so unstable that just removing the label from it could cause an explosion. What he disliked even more than that though, was the horrible sudden loud noise that resulted from the label being removed, making the can pop open to reveal the doughy contents inside.
Tweek took a deep breath, lightly scratching the spot where the wrapper split with his nails, and tore a small piece off. He immediately flinched when it tore, expecting a loud pop! When nothing happened, Tweek began to peel the wrapper from the can of rolls as slowly as he could, his hands trembling and body shaking until finally...
POP!
Tweek let out a shriek and dropped the can on the floor, turning around and fleeing the kitchen as fast as he could. Damn Craig for deciding he wanted to have rolls tonight and making him cook dinner and-
Tweek ran into something and fell ungracefully on his ass, scaring himself even further and the sudden shock of falling. He shook his head, sitting up to see what he'd hit, and saw Craig's unamused face staring down at him.
"Really?" Craig asked, holding a hand out to the shaking blonde. "You couldn't even handle the- whoa!" Craig cut off, now being clung to by his terrified boyfriend.
Tweek had quickly thrown himself at the raven, wrapping his arms around Craig's neck and burying his face into his chest, hot tears streaming down his face. "Craig!" he wailed, trembling from the lingering shock in his system. "I h-hate you! W-why did you make me do that?!"
Craig sighed, placing a hand on Tweek's head and gently patting him to calm him down. "Calm down, Tweek. It was only a can of rolls." When the blonde only let out another cry and shook more, he wrapped his arms around Tweek's back and slowly rocked him back and forth. "It's okay... Everything's okay, Tweek." Craig lifted a hand and combed his fingers through Tweek's hair, something he'd learned through experience could easily calm his boyfriend down.
Craig had helped the coffee loving boy through many an episode, even before they'd started dating, so he had calming Tweek down to a science. Hold him. Talk to him. Comb through his hair. Maybe get him coffee if it was available, which it usually was. "Do you want your favorite?" Craig asked, referring to Tweek's favorite brand of coffee.
Tweek shook his head, having calmed down from his boyfriend's comforting touch. "N-no, I'm good. Maybe later though. Um, s-sorry I messed up on dinner. I-I know it was my turn to cook tonight but..." Tweek pulled the dark blue fabric of Craig's jacket close, mumbling into it. "T-those rolls are of Satan."
Craig scoffed and rolled his eyes, then kissed Tweek's forehead. "Of course they are, Tweekers. And the underpants gnomes actually exist."
"They do!" Tweek exclaimed, a light blush on his face from being kissed. "They visit me nearly every night! You know that soon I won't have any underwear left to wear if this keeps happening!"
Craig smirked down at the blonde, leaning in to whisper something he knew would fluster the blonde. "Oh, I wouldn't have aaaany problem with that, Tweek. In fact, I'd probably thank these gnomes for doing such a thing."
Tweek blushed a deep red and hid his face in Craig's jacket, embarrassed. "C-Craig! Don't say things like that!"
Craig chuckled and placed a kiss on Tweek's neck, making him twitch and shiver. "Why not? It's not like I'm lying or anything."
Tweek huffed and lightly hit Craig's arm, keeping his face buried in his chest. "I-it's still embarrassing when you say stuff like that!" Craig knew very well that saying anything sexual would get his boyfriend flustered, and Tweek knew that he knew it and took advantage of this fact. With a sigh, he pulled his face away and looked up at his normally apathetic boyfriend's amused face.
"So, you're gonna get back in the kitchen now, right?" Craig asked with a smirk.
Tweek's eyes teared up, and he started to panic again at the thought of going back in the kitchen to face the dreaded Satan spawn rolls waiting for him. He quickly shook his head and went back to hiding his face in his boyfriend's chest. "No! You c-can't make me!"
Craig didn't laugh like someone else might at the blonde's outburst, instead rubbing his back with a gentle hand. "I was only joking, Tweek. I'll finish up for you, okay? I don't mind it."
Tweek pulled away from the noirette's chest and looked up at him with teary eyes, worried that he'd upset him and Craig just wasn't admitting it. "A-are you sure? I can probably f-finish up on my own."
Craig shook his head, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Tweek's forehead. "Relax. Just let me take care of it, alright?"
Tweek smiled, reassured by his boyfriend's words. "O-okay. Thanks, Craig." He leaned in and lightly kissed the other's lips, then hugged him tightly.
Craig hugged him back, and the two of them continued to sit there on the floor in a comforting silence. Tweek loved being able to just be with Craig like this. It was calm, serene, and he felt he could fall asleep in his arms...
Until the smoke alarm from the kitchen went off.
Craig cursed and quickly got up from the floor, running to the kitchen and accidentally letting Tweek fall to the floor with a startled gasp. "Hey Tweek! How does Chinese sound tonight?" Craig called as smoke drifted into the living room.
Tweek laughed, sitting up from the floor. "Sure! Just don't let the house burn down, alright? Wait, can that happen? Will the house catch fire? Craig, please tell me the house won't-"
"No Tweek!" Craig yelled, moving around the kitchen to find the fire extinguisher.
Tweek grinned and stood up from the floor, walking over to the couch, and sat down, hugging a pillow to his chest while watching his boyfriend put out the fire in the oven. He was really lucky to have him.