Title: Homeward Bound
Rating: T
Setting: Somewhere in season 3 (yes, there are spoilers!)
Summary: One day, when Olivia Dunham saw Peter Bishop again on the other side of the street, he wouldn't vanish anymore.
Author's Note: This is a continuation of sorts to my first Fringe fic, The Day That Peter Bishop Pointed A Gun At Olivia Dunham. It was begging for a continuation, and after I had seen 3x03, I just had to write this down.
When she saw him on the other side of the street, she thought he was just one of the many hallucinations she had been having the last few weeks. It had started with a short glimpse of Peter Bishop here, then another one there. In the blink of an eye, he would appear at a street corner, in the middle of a crowd, sometimes even in her apartment. And in the blink of an eye, he would vanish, just as fast as he had appeared. He would always simply smile at her, such a reassuring smile, full of love and trust.
Olivia Dunham had no idea what to make of it. She had met Peter Bishop only once in her life, so why was she seeing him now? Why was he haunting her? And why was his presence always so comforting, the expression on his face so soothing?
Then the dreams had started. Dreams about Peter Bishop. And every time they'd been the same. He was telling her that this wasn't her life. That she needed to hold on to him. That he was the only connection she had left to who she really was. That she should never forget him.
There was something wrong with her, Olivia Dunham was sure about that. Her breakdown was always on her mind, and maybe, just maybe, there was more to it than people were telling her. She was so sure she was the Olivia Dunham of this universe, but even though she had the memories, the identity, there were so many things about her that just didn't make any sense at all.
One of them was seeing Peter Bishop everywhere she went. She knew he had a link to the Olivia Dunham of the other universe, so why was he coming back to haunt her? And today, like any other day, she was seeing him again. Just that this time, he wouldn't vanish into thin air. She knew that could mean only one thing. She had gone off the deep end.
She rounded the corner quickly into a dark alley, away from Charlie, away from Lincoln. They shouldn't see her like this. Olivia Dunham was cracking... No, they couldn't see her like this. She crouched down in a corner, her face in her hands when she heard footsteps next to her. They slowly grew louder until they stopped, right in front of her.
"Olivia."
Olivia Dunham froze. She knew that voice well. It was the voice from her dreams. It was Peter Bishop's voice. She looked up and found herself staring at that smile she had grown to seek comfort in. He'd never spoken to her outside her dreams. He had also never followed her, not like this. Her mind was playing tricks on her again. Yes, she must have gone off the deep end for sure.
"You're not real."
Her voice was raspy, her whole body trembling. His hands reached out for her, but she flinched back, inching closer to the wall behind her. Whatever was happening to her in that alley, it wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Peter Bishop wasn't real. She'd been telling her mind that over and over and over again. Yet there he was, right in front of her.
"Olivia, you gotta listen to me. We don't have much time."
She felt his hands covering hers. She had expected his touch to be cold and distant because, after all, he was just a hallucination. Yet, his hands felt warm and inviting, and her skin started to tingle where his thumbs brushed across her fingers. This didn't feel like it was just a hallucination. This didn't feel like a dream. This moment – it felt very much real.
"You can't be real."
Her head started to ache while she was trying to make sense of all this. She knew there was another one of her, a duplicate from another world. What if she wasn't the real one? What if she was the duplicate? She'd played through that scenario more than once. It was the only real explanation for why she was seeing Peter Bishop everywhere. For why he kept telling her to remember him, to remember who she really was.
But if she was the other one, if she was the Olivia Dunham from the other universe, why did this world feel so much like home? Why were all her memories centered around a life here? If she was the other one, why couldn't she remember?
"Whatever they've done to you, we can fix it. You just gotta trust me. Do you trust me?"
Walter Bishop's words raced through her mind. "You can't trust them. They're monsters in our own skin." Yet, there was something so compelling about this man that knelled opposite her. Something inside her told her that if she could only trust one person in this world, it would have to be Peter Bishop. She could trust him with her life.
Slowly, the walls came tumbling down around her and memories that weren't her own started to flood her mind. Memories of places she'd never been to, of events that had never happened. Her eyes darted around her. This world had never really felt like her home, no matter how hard she tried. Now she knew why.
"This isn't real, is it? I'm not real."
Her voice quivered. She was Olivia Dunham – but which one? The memories about a life in this world felt as real as all those memories about a life in another universe that were rapidly flooding her mind. The memory of a broken arm at age seven when she had fallen off a tree was as real as the pain about the loss of her sister during childbirth. One was her own, one wasn't – but she didn't know which was which anymore.
"Do you trust me, Olivia?"
She looked at the hand that Peter held out right in front of her. One Olivia Dunham would trust him with her life, the other one wouldn't. She had to make a decision – which Olivia Dunham did she want to be? Which Olivia Dunham was her true self? Was it the one that had a life in this world, a world so full of destruction, despair and deceit. Or was she the one that had a life in the other world. A life with Peter Bishop.
Olivia Dunham was going to take a leap of faith. She closed her eyes, trying to block out everything around her. If there was one thing she could always rely on, it was her heart. When she opened her eyes again, her hand was tightly clutching Peter's, their fingers intertwining slowly.
And then they ran. She had no idea where they were going, but at that moment, she didn't care. She was holding on to his hand tightly, as if she was holding on for her life. Maybe she actually was. Maybe the part of Olivia Dunham inside her that was so closely connected to Peter Bishop was fighting to come to the surface for good, fighting for survival. Or maybe she had really and completely gone off the deep end.
From behind, she could hear Charlie calling her, his voice echoing through the long and dark alleyway. A quick glance over her shoulder was all she gave him as acknowledgment while she kept on running. Running towards a new life. Or an old life. She wasn't quite sure which it was.
They reached a car parked two blocks East, and within a moment, were on their way out of the city. North. They were going North. Though where, she didn't know. And she didn't want to know. Her mind was reeling already, she was in complete sensory overload. So many memories and emotions that she had no connection to – she had to make sense of them first.
Her hand reached for the small clip she wore on her ear, quickly removing it. She stared at it while she twisted it between her fingers. No, they weren't going to find her. Not until she had answers to all those questions she had. And the only person who could answer them was the man sitting next to her in the car – Peter Bishop. So somewhere between East 53rd and East 54th, her comms device fell onto the cold asphalt, shattering into a million pieces.
"I'm not real, am I?"
They had long since left New York City when Olivia finally asked the question that was foremost on her mind. All the memories she had of a life in this universe, of a life with Fringe Division in New York City, no matter how real they all felt, they were not. They could not be. If Peter Bishop had finally come to her not only in her dreams but in real life, then she had to be the copy, the duplicate. If working in Fringe Division had taught her one thing, it was that everything was possible.
"Real is a matter of perception."
He answered her with a warm smile. There was so much truth in such a short answer, yet it also posed even more questions. Questions she needed answers to.
"You are not the Olivia Dunham of this universe. But I guess you already knew that."
Hearing someone say it was one thing, but firmly believing it was something different entirely. It made sense though. She was the Olivia Dunham from the other universe. But then, it also made no sense. She had all these other memories, memories that felt more real than the ones of the Olivia Dunham from the other universe.
"I have her memories. Some of her memories. But they are not mine. They don't feel like mine."
Her head was throbbing, and it was getting worse by the minute. So many sensations, so many emotions, flooding her mind all at once. Two consciousnesses battling for power, and she didn't know anymore which one to fight. Everything around her was spinning out of control, nausea slowly creeping up inside her.
She heard his voice like in daze, telling her to take deep breaths and to relax. Whatever they had done to her, they were going to fix it once they got back home. Home. To the other universe. It didn't feel like home when she thought about it, yet when her eyes fixed on Peter Bishop, her heart told her it was.
"I want my life back."
She felt Peter's warm hand on her face, his thumb brushing away a single tear. There was so much love in his touch, so much comfort that for the first time in weeks, she truly felt like she belonged somewhere. She belonged with him.
"You're gonna get your life back, Olivia. I promise."
It was a promise he was going to keep, and if it was the last thing he would do. She was sure of that. He had crossed universes for her, just like she had done for him. She remembered. She remembered how empty she had felt after he was gone, how her heart had been aching. How she had longed to see his smile again, feel the warmth of his touch. Those feelings were real – as real as they could be.
Her hand came to rest on top of his on her cheek as she turned into his caress. That was what had been missing all these weeks. That little piece of her that she hadn't been able to put a finger on, that feeling of emptiness and loneliness even though she was surrounded by people. Now, in this very instant, she was complete again.
"Get some rest, we'll be a while till we get there. You'll need your strength once we do."
There wasn't the other universe, she knew that. They were going North-East now. They were going to Harvard. To Walter's old lab. She'd been there once before, in a desperate attempt to make sense of all those memory fragments that had been floating around in her head. Just this time, she'd get all the answers she was looking for.
Olivia fell asleep somewhere in Connecticut. For the first time in weeks, she wasn't haunted by her dreams anymore. No more pleading to remember. No more praying to hold on. And no more begging not to forget. She dreamed of home. The home on the other side. She dreamed of Rachel and Ella. Of holding them both in her arms, never wanting to let them go again. She dreamed of Walter, being his wacky, but very lovable self. And she dreamed of Peter. Of when she had told him that she loved him. Of their first kiss. And of how life could be.
When she woke, the car wasn't moving anymore. Night had fallen, and it took her a moment to focus in the dark car. Her eyes immediately darted to the driver's side. The seat was empty. Fear crept up inside her. This couldn't all have been one of her hallucinations, could it? It had all felt so real, she was sure of that.
She looked around in confusion, when her eyes fell on a shadow in the moonlight outside. He was still there. He hadn't gone anywhere. He was standing a few feet from the car, staring off at the starry night sky. Her fingers trembled when she reached for the door. Even before she could pull the handle completely, it was opened from the outside and she was looking up at Peter Bishop.
"Peter. I thought you were gone."
Her voice was shaking, while she reached out her hand so her fingers could gently trace his cheekbone. He was still there. And he was real. She wasn't dreaming.
"I'm never gonna leave you again."
His voice was nothing more than a whisper when he spoke in the utter silence of the night. She felt the softness of his lips when he placed a kiss on the palm of her hand, the heat of his breath tingling against her skin. All she wanted that very moment was to gather him into her arms, feel his lips against hers, be wrapped up in that warmth that he was offering. Her eyes searched for his, and they locked. She could see and feel the pain that she was causing him. Whatever had happened to that man she was looking at, she had been the cause of it. The Olivia Dunham of this universe that was.
He was the one to break away first. She understood. He was battling demons of his own, just like she was fighting hers. Time would fix her and time would fix him. Time would fix them.
The night lay silent as she exited the car. No sound whatsoever, just their feet shuffling on the sandy ground as they neared the red brick building. People trapped forever in the contamination zone were staring at them in the moonlight, shouting, screaming. In daylight, they had looked just like insects trapped in amber to her, but in the dim light of the night, they became monsters – the kind that would haunt her in her dreams forever.
Her hand instinctively reached for Peter's, and without even looking, his large hand enclosed hers in a tight, but comforting grip as they entered the dark halls of the old Harvard building. The flashlight in his hand was guiding them through the empty corridors, down the staircase, and finally to the lab that once had been occupied by the Walter Bishop of this universe.
Her eyes searched around the room, looking for all the things she had seen and touched the last time she had been here, in an attempt to spark a memory. But the large basement room was completely empty. Whatever it was that Peter Bishop had wanted to find, it wasn't here anymore, she was sure of that. She kept turning around, taking in her surroundings completely, trying to find just one last piece of something that could help them get back, that could fix her. But there was nothing there. Nothing at all.
His hand on her shoulder made her stop. She felt him step in close behind her, his warm breath a stark contrast against the cold air. Slowly, he turned her around to face him, his fingers gently tilting up her chin so she would look at him. In his eyes, she could see that he knew what she was thinking. She was like an open book to him. She always had been.
"Whatever was here, we don't need it. You'll bring us back."
His words echoed through the empty basement while she shook her head at him. How could he possibly expect her to cross them over to the other side? It had taken four of them to come over to this side, so how could she bring them back on her own? There were still so many holes left in her memories, things she was sure she should remember but couldn't, replaced by things she knew she shouldn't remember.
"You can do this, Olivia. I have faith in you."
Fear. That was the first thing that shot through her mind as Walter's words came back to mind. He had told her that the power lay in the pureness of a child's fear, something she had lost along the way. But all she could feel now was that cold sense of fear, the dread creeping up inside her. She was afraid.
"I don't know how."
His hand came to rest on her chest. She would just have to feel it with her heart, he told her. He was going to help her focus and concentrate. The power was in her, she just had to have faith and believe. His voice was deep and soothing when he asked her to close her eyes. She could do this, she kept telling herself over and over again. She had to.
"Think about your life in the other world. Think about Rachel. Think about Ella."
A smile started to play across her face when she heard her niece's name. Ella, that little girl she loved with all her heart. There was so much innocence, so much pureness in that face she remembered. How could she have ever forgotten her? How could she ever have believed that her sister was dead? She were not. Rachel and Ella were waiting for her on the other side. She had to get back to them. They needed her just as much as she needed them.
"Think about the moment when you told me you were afraid."
The smile disappeared when she felt his hands cup her face. Her whole body started to tremble when the memories of that moment came flooding back, all the sensations, all the emotions. She wanted to back away, break free from all the dread and the fear. She didn't want to remember all the sorrow and heartbreak that dipping into her powers had caused. Living through it once had been devastating already, she couldn't relive it again.
"It's okay, I'm here. We'll go some place else. Think about when you found me over here."
She felt her body relax as she listened to his soothing voice. He was guiding her slowly away, and she was following willingly. Her mind focused on the night in that apartment in New York City, and an instant relief washed over her. She had found him, alive and well.
"Focus on what you said to me that night. Why I needed to come back to the other side."
His hot breath tingled against her lips, and she could feel her heart pounding. The words she had spoken echoed through her mind, causing her mind to spin out of control. Sensations she had never experienced before washed over her.
"You need to come back to the other side, Olivia. Because you belong with me."
His voice was a mere whisper when he said those words that had been racing through her mind since she had thought back to that night in New York City. The ground felt like it was crumbling away beneath her. The air around her shifted from cold to hot and back in the fraction of a second. Something was happening, something she had no control over. Finally, her knees gave away, and she slumped to the floor when everything around her went black.
In the distance, she could hear his voice calling out for her. He was saying her name over and over, just like he had done in her dreams. Slowly, she opened her eyes as she focused on where exactly his voice was coming from. At first, she had difficulties to adjust to the bright light around them, but she soon discovered she was lying on the floor of the old laboratory, Peter kneeling next to her. But the lab wasn't empty any longer. It looked just like she had remembered it, the lab on the other side.
She had done it. She had crossed them over. She had brought them home. Her arms reached out for Peter, and he wrapped her in a tight embrace. Tears started to well in her eyes as she buried her face in his chest. She didn't hear the voices behind her, didn't notice the rapid footsteps approaching, didn't feel the hand on her shoulder. All she heard was Peter's heart pounding in sync with hers.
She had finally come home.