Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.
I have no idea what compelled meto write this. This is NOT slash and is pretty angsy. Takes place some years after the Attack, before Naruto graduates.
"Hey Guy, where's Kakashi?" asked Genma, chewing on his senbon.
Guy looked up from his beer. They were at a pretty big party, and Kakashi wasn't known to miss parties.
"I don't know."
The vibrating lights around Guy made it hard to think.
"I think he just got back from an ANBU mission." said Guy slowly.
Genma shrugged. "Maybe you should go check on him."
"Maybe you should." muttered Guy.
"Hell no. I'm having to much fun for that." Genma laughed. "Besides, you're the youthful one, you should go."
Guy nodded absently. "All right."
Truth be told, Guy didn't want to leave the party. Raido had sponsored it and his parties were notorious for being great. Kakashi was barely old enough to come legally at eighteen years old, but he always came anyway. Except for now.
Guy left and walked to Kakashi's apartment. noticing without caring that it was snowing.
It wasn't until he reached Kakashi's place he began to get worried. The door was ajar, and Guy knew Kakashi well enough to know that Kakashi always closed his door for privacy reasons. Damn uptight bastard.
Guy peeked in and didn't see anything, but his sensitive nose smelled blood immediately. Alarmed, Guy pushed open the door and stepped in. Had Kakashi gotten hurt on the mission? Another thing he knew about Kakashi was that he hated hospitals.
"Kakashi?" he called cautiously.
He didn't get an answer.
"Kakashi?" he said again, a bit louder.
No response.
He peeked into Kakashi's bedroom and saw him slumped on the floor. Guy approached him, and he didn't even glance up. What the hell was wrong with him?
"You there, man?"
Kakashi's head moved slightly in his direction.
"Are you all right?"
"No."
The hoarse reply unnerved him. This atmosphere was so different from the party he had just left, his nerves were slightly frayed.
"What happened?"
Guy moved towards Kakashi so he could see his face. Kakashi was still wearing his mission gear, so he had just gotten back. Guy was scared when he realized Kakashi was crying. Kakashi never cried. Kakashi wasn't that kind of person.
Kakashi shook his head. "I can't take it anymore." he whispered.
"Can't take what?" asked Guy.
"Life. I can't take life."
"What do you mean?"
Guy knew being an ANBU was hard, and that they had to see a lot of horror. So he thought he would be prepare for the answer.
"I killed so many people, Guy. You...you have no idea. Their faces...scared, helpless. They weren't shinobi, Guy. They were civilians, innocents. We...we had to kill them though. Their leaders were starting a rebellion and they wouldn't give up! Children, women...my orders were to kill them all. Their faces! Their families are out there now, cursing me. Cursing me with all the hate in their souls. I hate myself for what I've done."
Kakashi spoke so softly is was a struggle for Guy to hear his voice, low and pained as it was.
Guy swallowed. It was horrible. Guy looked at his best friend, his rival. Kakashi was so beaten, and Guy had had no idea that Kakashi was so powerful that he could kill so many, civilians or not.
"We're shinobi. It's our duty to serve our land."
"What poor excuse is that? It can't save me from what I've done. I deserve hell, but I welcome it after all I've done. My death may not atone for what I've done, but those who loved the ones I've killed will be happy."
Guy couldn't believe what he was hearing. What was Kakashi doing? Was he planning to...
Guy knelt down next to the broken figure and found, although Kakashi's wrists were face down, blood was staining his pants and dripping down to the floor.
Guy grabbed one of Kakashi's wrists and turned it up. Crimson blood covered his arm and a thick gash cut into it. Frightened, Guy grabbed Kakashi's other wrist. It too was bleeding.
Kakashi coughed and gave him one last smile, curving his eyes.
"Like father like son, eh?"
Kakashi slumped and Guy checked his pulse. He was still alive, if barely. Guy couldn't let his friend die, it went against his morals. And though Guy seemed so damn crazy, he cared about his friends more than anything.
Guy dropped his weights, picked up Kakashi and sprinted to the hospital.
The next hour was a blur. Hospital beds, nurses yelling, the Third Hokage appearing out of nowhere, beeping monitors and the stench of blood. Guy ended up in a chair next to Kakashi, who had I.V. hooked up everywhere and thick bandages on both arms. In the other chair was the Third Hokage, whom Guy was purposly ignoring.
The Third wasn't having it though.
"You did a good job, Guy. Without you, he wouldn't have ived more than a minute or two."
Guy looked away. "He didn't want to be saved."
The Third sighed. "I know. It's not your fault. It's not his fault either."
"Maybe...maybe if I'd gotten through to him, convinced him that our youth is too precious to waste!"
The Third laughed sadly. "You'd never have convinced him that way. This is my fault, really. My fault that I allow missions like that to happen. Kakashi must have been driven so far to try and commit suicide. He's always loathed his father's choice to kill himself."
"His father killed himself?"
"For being his best friend, you don't know much about him, do you? But sometimes you don't need to. I mean it Guy, it is a very good thing that you saved him. Maybe he'll be angry at first. But over time, he will realize what life is worth and he will be grateful that you saved him."
The Third got up and left, leaving Guy alone with the immobile Kakashi.
"I'm sorry, Kakashi. I don't really understand you, man, but I'll be here for you. And one day, you'll thank me."
And one day, Kakashi did.
If you liked this, please review. It's what tells me it was good. I like tacos, do you?