Title: The Healing Properties of Music
Characters: Ianto/Owen, Team
Rating: T
Word Count: ~ 2,400
Summary: Sometimes music is the best medicine. Ianto/Owen friendship. One shot
A/N: This is dedicated to my Aunty Marie, who died last night peacefully in her sleep. Music was her life as is mine, I'll miss her, and may she rest in peace.
Owen sat at his work station, feet resting lazily on the desk. It was late, about the right time to pick up a slightly tipsy bird for a one night stand. But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to move, to even open his eyes. Owen told himself it was to avoid Jack and Tea-boy, who were no doubt shagging somewhere in the hub. Though that argument made no sense, he was sticking to it.
The silence was beginning to crush him. Usually there was the hum of computers and the sound of the water tower. But there was nothing. He fished his iPod from his pocket and plugged it into the speakers that rested precariously on a pile of medical journals he had never had a chance to read. He pressed shuffle and sat back wishing the music could swallow him whole. The soft piano melody filled the air. He cringed. It was the Moonlight Sonata. He quickly skipped past it, not wanting to bring back memories of Diane. He was wallowing in enough unjustifiable self-pity already. The last thing he needed was a reason to feel so bad.
The next song was acapella. A low baritone with a smooth voice began a steady rhythm. Another layer was added to the building music. Owen didn't recognise it, nor did it sound like something he'd keep on his iPod. However the music was so rich, it was easy to get lost in it. As the melody began, Owen idly wondered if that was why he had it.
Well you can disco down almost any night but it's a hard life and it cuts you like a knife. You can disco down till the cows come home but the louder the sound, the more you feel alone.
A tenor voice sung out the chorus. Just hearing the words made Owen feel slightly better. He wondered if music could understand you, or perhaps his iPod was psychic. He leaned forward and checked the details of the song. It was called Disco Down by the Flying Pickets. Owen didn't recognise the band but this song was good.
Owen smiled to himself and put the song on repeat. He found the full acapella sound incredibly comforting. After a while he found himself humming along even singing parts. Eyes closed, forgetting he was in the hub. He felt like he was floating in a weird kind of limbo in his self-imposed darkness.
Another drink and just one more cigarette, pass the funny one and don't forget me.
Owen found himself singing along, until another voice joined him. If Owen hadn't practically memorised the song he wouldn't have noticed the additional Welsh voice. Owen's eyes shot open and he was thrown back to the reality of the hub and Ianto standing next to him coffee in hand.
"The Flying Pickets?" Ianto asked in a monotone voice.
"Shuffle" Owen replied mildly.
"And you have it because?"
"Don't know. This I guess" Owen shrugged, "Anyway, how do you know it?"
Owen assumed the music had to be fairly old, and maybe a little obscure. The use of Disco placed it somewhere in the 70's at least.
"My mam was obsessed with them. She had a brother who was a miner."
"Oh…" Owen said not understanding the connection.
Ianto smiled slightly, but it wasn't mocking just, just there.
"The Flying Pickets was also the name of the National Union of Mine Workers."
"It's a good song." Owen wasn't sure what else to say. Ianto just smiled again, grabbed a chair and sat next to Owen.
"Beer?" Ianto offered the bottle he seemingly produced from thin air. Owen took it nodding his thanks and Ianto took another sip of his coffee.
"You're drinking coffee."
"Very observant of you" Ianto replied drily.
"Shouldn't you be offering me coffee then?"
"But you'd rather a beer" Ianto didn't make it a question. He just stated it like it was a fact, which it was. That was what made it so disconcerting.
"Yeah, but how could you know that?"
"I get paid to know Torchwood. You are part of Torchwood, so I know you just like I know everything else" he shrugged.
"It still doesn't seem right."
"Who said it had to be?" Owen was surprised that Ianto wasn't being defensive as he spoke.
That surprise made Owen re-examine the situation. Ianto was beside him mirroring his position. Their feet occasionally brushing as their feet tapped unconsciously. Owen had to admit he was freaking out a little.
Ianto, as in, uptight, suit wearing, Torchwood 1, tea-boy, Ianto. Was relaxing, coffee resting on his thigh, hand cupping it loosely, tie and waistcoat gone, some of his shirt buttons undone. If he'd swapped the suit pants for a pair of dark jeans it would look like one of Owen's clubbing outfits. Not that he'd been clubbing recently. Ianto looked softer, human in fact. His face wasn't unguarded but it wasn't the steely mask he used during the day.
"Where's Jack?" Owen asked as a sort of after thought.
"On a roof, brooding no doubt about John. He's been getting better, probably won't jump tonight" Ianto replied shrugging matter-of-factly.
Owen gawked, "What? Shouldn't you stop him! Shag him, do whatever it is you do!"
"No." Ianto frowned a little. "He's in angsty-captain mode. You can't save a man who doesn't want to be saved. He'll be back to himself by Wednesday I should think but until then. Not much can be done.."
"You're crazy Ianto" Owen said drinking more beer.
"Completely mad, but in the end I like to think he'll have been worth it."
"Why are we here?" Owen asked changing the topic.
"Because it's late and we're lonely. To save the planet. Jack. God did it. It started with monkeys. When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…Is there a right answer?"
His voice seemed far away and there was no humour in his tone.
There was a moment of silence and Owen didn't know what to say. This wasn't a conversation he would have while sober especially not with Ianto. The doctor in him began examining Ianto, as if there was something he was missing, but nothing seemed wrong. Ianto was simply being relaxed, then again for Ianto that counted as wrong.
"Why are we doing this?" Owen shut his eyes and let his head fall back.
"Like I said, lonely. Perhaps it's the strange kind of lethargy that's not pulling us together but stops us from leaving. Maybe it's the whiskey in my coffee, the beer in your hand. Jack again. Unresolved sexual tension, take your pick."
"Wait" Owen stared at Ianto, "Whiskey? Sexual tension?"
"Irish Coffee." He waggled his cup slightly. "Though in the more traditional recipe, there is more coffee than whiskey. And apparently given how much we dislike each other on usual terms plus a few other factors and ta da! Unresolved sexual tension."
"And you know about this how?" Owen had to admit he was getting a little freaked out by Ianto's calm indifference.
"Did a psych course at uni, never finished it. Torchwood picked me up before I had the chance."
"So I can write off everything you've said about us" Owen muttered smiling crookedly.
"I'd be inclined to write it off too but the text book never lies." Ianto let a hint of laughter lace his voice.
"No never" Owen said conspiratorially.
"But my little bit of degree and my archiving knowledge mean I know everything about everything and everyone."
"So your not a ninja tea-boy, you're just a plain old tea-boy with a plain old incomplete degree" the nick name wasn't malicious like it usually was. Even a little good humoured.
Ianto laughed, "Well, that's what I want you to think!"
They let out slight breathy laughs, until the music broke the silence that had fallen over them. Owen had learnt more about Ianto and Jack for that matter, than he'd ever learnt and probably ever would. Their now silent companionship accompanied by the sombre music seemed to comfort them both.
There wasn't really anything more to say. The only thing they seemed to share besides Torchwood were the playful snarks and witty retorts thrown idly between them. It was hard to tell how many times the song had played or how long they'd sat there. Letting the warm voices wash over them. So when the hub was suddenly thrown into darkness neither of them knew what time it was.
In the complete darkness, the music seemed grander and richer.
"What happened?" Owen asked waiting for his eyes to adjust.
"Midnight lockdown, I didn't think we'd be here this long, so I didn't disable it. I'll go fix it."
Owen felt rather the saw Ianto move. His near silent steps, didn't give him away, but he felt the air shift as Ianto moved towards Jack's office and the control box. A moment passed and a slight whirring accompanied the music.
We were chasing the limelight in our real life dream. We made do with a mirror ball and the same old scenes.
As if on cue the red strobing security light came to life. The light flashed off the water tower, it was mesmerising, strangely soothing and just so beautiful. He heard another whirr start and said in a quite voice, more to himself than anything.
"No, nothing else. Just that light."
His voice must have carried well across the hub as the sound stopped and Ianto returned.
But the louder the sound the more you feel alone.
The song ended and for the first time that night they both had noticed.
"Thankyou" Owen murmured watching the light play across the hub.
"What for?"
"I'll tell you when I know. But for now, just…Thankyou" and Owen left, heavy in his stride, not quite ready to go but knowing it was time to leave.
It was hectic few days, followed by a few days of suspense. They'd killed Jack. The reality didn't quite sink in until he was lying dead in the open morgue draw. Then of course, Jack had woken up and everything was okay, but then he'd left. He'd just disappeared with his Doctor.
Gwen was hysterical and refused to believe it.
Tosh cried inside and out.
Owen was hurting, the guilt eating away at him.
Ianto kept going, in the same silent and reserved manner he'd used after Lisa.
It had been a hard day, made worse by Gwen refusing to accept that Jack left willingly with the Doctor. She had taken everyone to the edge with her warped reasoning.
"I'm just saying, what if…"
"Gwen! Shut up. He fucking left! Will you just accept that! He left us Gwen, just go home. Everyone just Go home. Get pissed, whatever it is you do. Go and do it." Owen's rant had started loud and violent but seemed to peter out into quiet defeat.
"Who put you in charge?" Gwen yelled.
Ianto sighed. He knew this was going to degrade into another pissing contest between the pair of them. He decided to retreat to archives before things got out of hand.
"I'm not taking charge Gwen" Owen was yelling again. "It's Tosh's call, she's been here the longest. I'm just saying Jack is GONE! Jack LEFT! And sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves isn't going to change anything!"
It took some convincing but eventually Gwen left following Toshiko. Owen was about to leave for his favourite pub when he realised Ianto, or a lack of him. Owen knew that Ianto had run to the archives, so stopped by the kitchenette, grabbed two beers and headed down to find him.
Owen made his way through the maze that made up the lower archives. The only thing he knew how to find down there was Ianto's makeshift office. Ianto rarely worked that deep in the archives, Owen had learned it was more a hiding spot, than a workspace.
All the lights were off in the tunnels, so Owen was mostly guessing, feeling along the walls for each passageway. Eventually he saw light coming from one of the doorways. Inside Ianto's corner the dim light from the computer screen bathed the room in pale blue lights. Ianto however was nowhere to be seen.
Owen mover further into the room, the doctor in him checking for signs of an accident, or something worse. He saw Ianto's foot barely visible from around the desk. Owen took a deep breath, hoping he'd just slipped.
Owen let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Ianto was lying, conscious and except for the tears staining his cheeks he looked fairly okay. The look in his eyes was clouded regret with a touch of self loathing, not really the emotions he would have predicted. Then again Ianto wasn't exactly predictable.
Ianto's eyes flicked up to him blankly.
"For being there" Owen said handing him a beer.
Something flashed across the Welshman's face but it was gone before Owen could read it.
Without saying anything his eyes focused on Owen's shoulder and the healing bullet wound.
Owen smiled and sat down leaning against the edges of the desk. Ianto let his lips upturn slightly, a soft gratefulness on his features. He took a sip of beer without moving his head. Owen had no idea how the young man did it without pouring it all over his face. The movement seemed practised. They sat in silence for a moment, just knowing that they were both alive, enjoying the presence of another human being. Owen sat while Ianto lay unnervingly still. He would have checked for a pulse if Ianto wasn't taking regular sips of beer.
Ianto raised his hand to the desk, making Owen focus on Ianto. His hand found the keyboard and he made languid and easy movements. The lights projected onto the wall from screen changed colours. The speakers weren't the best quality but when Owen heard the soft tones of Disco Down he just had to smile.
"For being there" Ianto whispered.
And a little part of both men knew everything would be okay. Because they'd be there in the dark sharing the one song that seemed to make everything okay.
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