Title: Ignite Your Bones
Summary: Perry Cox has been hailed as the best doctor in the city. But what will happen when he becomes the patient?Warnings: Involves serious illness. You may not enjoy this. This is angst filled, depressing fan fiction at it's best!
Notes: I'm not a medical expert so to write this I did research. If anything is inaccurate in the medical side of things, please let me know what's wrong and how I can make it right and I'll be happy to change it. All chapter titles are from the lyrics 'Fix You' by Coldplay, as is the title. Set in season four.
1. When You Feel So Tired
Dr. Perry Cox shoved the folded sheets of paper into his pocket as he heard the voice... scratch that...annoying voice, of John Dorian approaching the table where he was sat.
The younger doctor was talking to Carla and the both came to stop at the table Perry was frequenting, sitting down casually without so much as a hesitation before doing so. Perry scowled at the pair, not that they were looking at him to be able to notice. There had been a time when people didn't just come and sit next to him. They feared him, they avoided him. Now, it was like he was just good ol' Dr Cox. He hated that. His castration by his bitch of a wife had seen him lose all fear and power at this hospital. Sometimes at night when Jordan was asleep, he'd wonder why he ever got back with her. He'd been doing that a lot recently. Laying awake at night thinking about his life.
But he had good reason too. He couldn't sleep, so he figured he may as well think about he's crappy life. But there was a reason he couldn't sleep. Something bigger behind it than wanting to stay up and find all the flaws with his life, it was the pain in his arm that kept him awake. It always came at night. Not that it wasn't present during the day, it was just when he had work to do, the dull ache never seemed as bad. But at night, as he watched Jordan sleeping, he felt it more. And because all he was doing was laying, it hurt more, the inactivity of his muscles making his pain stronger.
It was two nights ago he'd noticed a swelling on his arm. Just above his right elbow, just where the ache was. His elbow was a little stiff sometimes, hard to move, but he ignored it, while deep down, something gnawed at him. Something like fear grew in his stomach, made him feel a little nauseas.
"Hey Dr. Cox." JD said, cheerfully, as he acknowledged the older doctor sitting across from him.
Dr. Cox didn't do anything to acknowledge the comment except a quick glare in JD's direction. He went back to staring at the cup of coffee that rested on the table, watched the steam float off the top, telling him it was too hot to consume.
JD turned his attention back to Carla, and the pair continued to talk among themselves. It didn't take long for Dr. Cox to get fed up with their chatter, stand up abruptly, and stomp off, taking his coffee with him. Once he was out of sight, Carla turned to JD.
"Oh my God, you're right! So what's wrong with him?" Carla asked, having not noticed Perry's moodiness recently herself.
"Beats me. Been like it the last few days though."
"Do you think it's something at home, with him and Jordan?"
"Maybe. We could try talking to her see if she knows what's wrong." JD suggested.
"That's sounds a lot like interfering, JD." Carla said.
"You're right, I know. I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, it's a great idea. Don't know why I didn't think of it."
Dr Cox sat in the doctors lounge, grateful for the peace in the room. He picked up a magazine, fanning himself with it at the temperature in the room.
"Don't mind me." A voice said from behind him.
Perry looked round, seeing the Janitor in the corner, apparently cleaning something. He at least had a duster in his hand. "What?" Perry asked, instantly irritated by the man's presence.
"I'm just trying to do my job. I don't get in the way when you're doing yours."
"You're always in someone's way. It's part of your job as 'waste of space'. Ah, forget it, I'm out." Perry got off the couch, stomping back out the room.
The Janitor watched him go, noticing the coffee he left and moving in to take it. He moved round to the other side of the couch and took a sip of the strong liquid. "Nice." he said aloud to himself. He noticed a folded sheet of paper, which he picked up. Unfolding it, he looked at what was written on it. At the top of the sheet it stated 'Symptoms of bone cancer.' The Janitor read the sheet briefly, before he folded it up and put it in his own pocket, deciding he'd return it to Dr. Cox next time he saw him. He then continued to drink the doctors coffee.
Carla pretended to do paperwork so she could stay behind the desk for a little longer.
Jordan was leaving for the day and Perry was with her. She was watching them when the Janitor went and stood right in her way. "Damn." she cursed to herself, as she moved herself, as naturally as possible to a better view point.
She watched the couple talk for a few minutes before they moved closer to where Carla stood and she could hear what they were saying.
"Are you going to be late?" Jordan asked.
"I don't think so." Perry replied. He didn't sound as angry as he had done earlier.
Jordan wrapped her arms around him for a parting kiss, and he responded. "I swear you're losing weight." she said, playfully, as she proceeded to grab at any traces of fat she could find on the trim doctor. "Do I need to fatten you up? Maybe a take away tonight?" She asked.
"Sure. Want me to pick one up on the way home?" Perry queried.
"Good idea. I better go get Jack." She kissed him again, before she left.
Perry watched her walk away before he turned. He went to walk away before the Janitor stopped him. "Hey, you dropped your patients notes earlier on." He said, handing Perry the folded sheets of paper.
Perry took them quickly. "Thanks. Be lost without 'em." He said, flicking a glance at Carla who he knew was watching him. She looked away as he did, but from the corner of her eye, she watched him walk away.
She now wondered why Dr. Cox was carrying patient notes with him folded in his pocket, rather than on a clipboard.
She knew something wasn't right, but had no idea what.
It was much later in the day when Perry found himself once again in the cafeteria. Bob Kelso was sat with him, neither man making conversation. Neither of them were big talkers and Perry found when he sat with Bob, no one bothered to sit next to them. Perry had a coffee and while he sat quietly as Bob ate his food, he rubbed tiredly at his face.
"Seems like the coffee's the only thing keeping you up, Perry." Kelso said, not looking away from the salad he was eating.
"I know, it's like I've been here 12 hours already." He replied sarcastically.
"Yes, I find that once you've been at this job for 30 years, you ease straight into the shifts." Kelso replied, incredibly dry.
Perry didn't answer back. Absently, he rubbed him sore arm, closing his eyes for a few moments.
He didn't notice the Janitor on the next table. He'd been watching the doctor. He stood up, leaving the cafeteria and went searching for a certain person.
"Hey you. Come here." The Janitor said, motioning for JD to follow him into an empty room.
Scoffing slightly JD stood still. "You know, I've kinda got the handle on you recently. I'm no way going over there."
"It's important." The Janitor said, hoping to show how sincere he was.
"Oh, I'll come straight over then." JD replied, pretending he was about to rush over, before he went on his way.
Desperate to speak to the doctor, the Janitor followed him, stepping in his path. "Listen, remember when you saw me in the shower? You said you had to tell me what you saw and I trusted you. I need you to trust me. If you don't want to go in there, then tell me where you want to go and that's where we'll go."
"You're serious." JD said, a statement more than a question. The Janitor nodded. JD nodded towards the room the Janitor had originally tried to lure him into. Once they were inside and the door closed, JD looked to the man. "Okay, what is it?"
"It's about Dr. Cox." The Janitor saw JD instantly become more curious, but he said nothing. "Okay, um, I was in the doctors lounge earlier and when he left, he dropped some paper on the floor. I found it just after he left. I might be wrong about this, but it just seems weird to me. On the paper were the symptoms of... bone cancer. I assumed it was something to do with a patient and just gave it back to him later. But since then, it's like I keep seeing him doing all these things on that piece of paper."
"You expect me to believe that?" JD said, astonished.
"Maybe I'm being paranoid, that's why I'm telling you. But it said that one of the symptoms was tiredness, and he said about that in the cafeteria and his hot wife said he'd lost weight and that was on there too. And... he's walking around with that on him, why else would he need it?"
"No, there's no way that..." JD cut himself off. He couldn't finish off the sentence. He walked out the room. He needed to find Carla.
Perry had changed into his street clothes before heading home. As he walked out the door, he heard Carla call out his name. He stopped and waited for the nurse to move round the desk and join him. When she stood next to him, she hesitated before she spoke. "Is everything okay?" She eventually asked, not able to ask the question in a more subtle way.
"Yeah." He said quickly, keen to get home. But knowing his temper had been getting the better of him the last few days and that was probably why Carla was talking to him now, he realised he was best telling her a few white lies so she wouldn't worry. "Look, if I've snapped at you the last couple of days, I'm sorry, I've been a little tired." The fact that he was tired he was sure would help carry him through the lie.
"Hey, it's no problem. I just.. worry, you know that."
He nodded. He hated her sincerity right then. "I best go, Jordan's waiting."
Carla watched Perry leave the building, happier about everything now. Maybe JD had been right, but usually when Dr Cox admitted something was wrong, she knew he usually sorted himself out. She went back to work and didn't think about it again, not until JD came up to her, looking a little worried and confused. "We need to talk in private." He said.
She followed him as he lead her to a supply cupboard. As soon as the door was closed, she looked to him urgently. "What is it?"
"It's about Dr. Cox."
Jordan heard the door close. She left Jack playing in his room while she went to see Perry.
He had a bag of food with him which he'd left on the side while he took his jacket off.
"Hi." She said, walking over and picking up the bag of food. She opened it seeing he'd got them the unhealthy option of burger and fries, but she didn't mind. She was hungry and was happy to eat whatever he had. She plucked out several loose fries and ate them. They sat down together to eat dinner. Jordan noticed Perry was picking at his food rather than eating it properly. "What's wrong?" Jordan asked.
Perry put down the fries and looked at her. She could see that there was something troubling him and she felt a flicker of panic in her.
"I've been putting off talking to you about this." He said. He didn't know how the hell he was supposed to tell her this.
Jordan's own food had been discarded itself. "Tell me?" She asked desperately, every possibility passing through her mind.
He couldn't look at her. He didn't want to see the look on her face. "Nothings positive yet, okay?" He told her. She knew he was sick. "This is just me, jumping to conclusions." He took a breath before he spoke, hoping he sounded stronger than he felt. "But, I er, I think I might have a tumour."
TBC.