Title: Darkness Falls
Summary: For Danny Reagan – life would never be the same again. WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8 PREMIERE Based on Eppy 8.01 'Cutting Losses'
Disclaimer: Everything from Bluebloods belongs to CBS and well not met lol I only own my muse and the ideas and any OCs that might pop up
A/N: I am still not over this….Linda dead? Such a shock to us all and I don't think this will go away very soon! I just had to channel some major Danny angst onto paper and hope you all like it a little. And I don't know how the crash actually happened that part I made up, all the show has said so far was she died in a helicopter accident on May 28th airlifting a patient and that he had asked her to change her shift that day because he was working late.
Note: "Words in italics and double quotes taken directly from the eppy"
May 28th
'Linda…babe I'm sorry I…something's come up with a case here and…' Danny huffed as he talked to his wife on the phone.
'You want me to…'
'No no I'll just…'
'I'll work a double.'
'Linda…'
'You gonna argue? Job comes first right?'
He could hear the tired exasperation in her tone and gritted his teeth. 'I'll make it up to you…I swear.'
'Just…don't make it too long okay?'
'Okay. Love you.'
'Yeah…love you too. See you tomorrow morning.'
'I'll keep the coffee hot.'
'You better.'
And that was it; he could hear the soft resentment in her tone but she never pressed it and he figured they would just work through it as they always have.
Today would be no different. Or would it? If he had known in that moment what a tragic path the day would walk, he would have cancelled his shift in a second.
But…he thought nothing of it. It was another day. Another little emotional hurdle and he told himself they'd have tomorrow to kiss and make up. Tomorrow…would never come.
XXXXXXXX
Present Day
"Danny?" The NYPD psychiatrist prodded his emotionally distraught client once more. "You still haven't answered the question."
Danny looked at the doctor's kind expression but only felt anger starting to well inside; the same as it had for the past few months. Today would be no different.
"Why does anyone care if I hang up my shield or not?"
"It'll make a difference for your family. Being a police officer has defined you."
"Not anymore. I'm done now. For good."
"The home wasn't your fault."
"IT WAS MY FAULT! THE FIRE WAS MY FAULT…LINDA WAS MY FAULT!"
And that was it…Danny looked the doctor in contempt before he stood up and stormed out of his office.
XXXXXXXX
May 28th
'Hey Baez…so do we have…it's late…let's get this done and…' Danny started and then stopped as he looked up and then past his partner to see his father standing in the near distance. 'What's going on?' He started with a smirk and then stopped as he headed toward his father and stopped; Danny's eyes instantly locking with his father's and noticing they were…wet? Had he been crying? 'What's going on?'
'Danny…' Frank's voice broke as he gave his head a small shake. 'There's been an accident. The helicopter that Linda was in…it crashed and….'
'What?' Danny asked in shock as Baez neared him. 'The um…the what? What … happ…' he stammered as he pulled his phone and instantly dialed his wife. 'Pick up…come on baby…pick up…pick up…PICK UP!' Danny yelled as he turned and bolted for the door; his father and partner in tow.
'Danny!' Frank shouted as Danny stopped just before he got into the dark sedan. 'My SUV is over here. Let's go. Jamie went to pick up the boys.'
'This is a joke right? She did this to…' Danny started as Frank shook his head no and gestured for Danny to get into the back of his SUV. 'No…' Danny muttered as he continued to dial his wife's number. 'She's….she's okay she's just busy and won't pick up if she's with a patient,' he stammered as he tried once more. 'Come on Linda…pick up and tell me this is a joke…come on baby…pick up…'
The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever and they seemed to arrive after what seemed like every single vehicle in Manhattan decided to be on the road at the same time. As much as Danny wanted to tell himself that this was all a joke, the moment he breached the doors of the ER he knew something was wrong. He had seen the looks before. The stares…the glances of pity and horror. Shock and remorse. The looks you give someone after they had been given the horrific news that their loved one didn't make it. He knew because he had offered the looks or been with families when they had been on the receiving end.
'Hey Doc…a…' is all Danny managed before the attending ER physician neared with a distressed glance. 'Where is Linda?'
XXXXXXXX
Present Day
Danny stormed into the hallway and stopped as he swallowed hard and tried to get his emotions in check. But even as he tried all the denial that he tried to push deep down inside his tormented soul started to float back up and in an instant he was whisked back in time…back to May 28th when he was in the hospital and his worst nightmare was about to be confirmed.
"Linda…" Danny whispered in misery as his eyes squeezed shut.
XXXXXXXX
May 28th
'I'm sorry Danny, I thought your father would have told you. There was an accident today…'
'Yeah okay ha ha…where is she? This is a joke right? Where is she…?'
'Danny…'
'WHERE!' Danny's voice shouted. But the men around him had seen this reaction before and weren't unnerved by it; they were saddened. 'I just need…where is my wife?'
'Come with me.'
'That's more like it,' Danny retorted as he looked at his father with an insistent nod and then headed away with the doctor; Jamie with Sean and Jack about five minutes out and Erin and Henry about the same. Nikki would arrive about twenty minutes after that.
'I want you to prepare yourself Danny. The uh…the crash wasn't…the onsite medics did all they could. There was just too much trauma.'
'Look doc, I need to see…' Danny started and then instantly stopped and stared at the horrific scene before him – there in the small room, lying mostly covered on a small gurney under a white sheet was his wife – his beloved wife. 'No…I uh…no God please no…' his voice cracked as he took a step into the room and then stopped; his heart rate about to reach critical.
The doctor held back while Danny remained fixed in place; his lungs heaving and his brain…unwilling to fully contemplate what he saw before him. 'Linda…hey baby…come on…open your eyes…say something….call me a dumb ass for falling for this or…Linda…come on…'
He neared the gurney and then reached out his hand his lips quivered as a few tears escaped and ran down his now flushed cheeks. 'Linda…' he whispered as his hand dared to touch her cheek – cold. He pushed the sheet down a little and then felt bile instantly charge up his throat as he spied dried blood and dirt decorating her fair skin.
'I'm sorry Danny.'
'No this is uh…it's a joke she uh…she's she's going to wake up and tell me this is a joke…some kind of sick Halloween prank or…no…no she's not…Linda…come on now baby…open your eyes okay? Good laugh at my expense but uh…not funny now so…so you gotta open your eyes okay? I can't…can't do this without you. Please…oh God…please…' he begged as his legs threatened to buckle.
Frank, who had been standing there in silent misery watched his son's body start to falter and hurried to catch him before he fell to the ground.
'She…she can't be gone…' Danny sobbed as Frank's strong arms held onto his son's shaking body – not letting go. 'She' can't….she…she can't…' his panted as his watery sapphires glanced in Linda's lifeless direction and then squeezed shut in tormented anguish. 'WHY!' Danny shouted as his grasp around his father's frame tightened. 'Why…why…oh God…why…' he begged in misery as he shook his head and then pulled back from Frank's grasp and looked back at his wife's lifeless form. 'Get up…GET UP!' He shouted as he reached for her hand and gave the cool limb a firm squeeze. 'She….she can't be gone.'
Frank knew what it was to lose someone he loved so much…his rock in stormy weather…his light in dark places…his reason for living when hope seemed to fade. That was Danny now. But words failed him in that moment; his heart to grief stricken to do anything but be a physical support for his son in that very moment. The words would come. They'd have many moments.
'This can't be…we didn't even…I never got to say goodbye or…' Danny's words choked in his throat once more as he looked at his father in misery. 'How…how do I go on….without her?'
XXXXXXXX
Present Day
"That's not what set you off. What set you off is when he mentioned May 28th. The day that…"
"I can't talk about it…I can't do this…without my wife," Danny insisted with a teary gaze.
"I think you can. I know what it's like to lose the love of your life. I lost my wife 10 years ago. I don't have a magic formula. I still miss her but I'm able to live my life. That's what everyone wants for you. Linda's death wasn't your fault."
"No? Whose fault was it?"
"No one's."
"If I hadn't been working late and she hadn't changed her shift because of me because of my job…"
"Just as she had done a dozen times before that. She was doing her job. She died…doing her job; which she loved. Which is what you…would have done."
"I should have stopped her."
"Oh Danny…Linda's death wasn't your fault. She died in a helicopter crash air lifting her patient."
"I shoulda been home more doc," Danny offered a teary lament. "I wasn't."
"You've been coming here for months and you've never uttered the words that she's gone; that she's dead. That she's never coming back. It's not healthy Danny, and you know it. Do you want your boys to live in anger and denial because you can't get over it?"
"I just don't know how."
"Very small steps."
"And if I can't?" Danny threw back
"You lean on your family."
And that was it. His family. They had faced personal losses and had survived. Had survived because they relied on each other; in their own personal darkness, the rest of the family was the light.
"Danny?" The doctor pressed once more as Danny's teary gaze lifted. "Family."
In that moment, Danny's mind travelled back in time to the moment his father offered the first few comforting words and for a few seconds he felt a little glimmer of inner peace. And he would need those words to hold onto in the coming days…weeks…months and years. Darkness had fallen and he knew from that moment on, May 28th, his life…would never be the same again.
'We'll take it a day at a time Danny and we'll do it together.'
"Yeah…family," Danny echoed in a sad but hopeful whisper.
THE END!
A/N: *sniff sniff* oh this one will hurt for a little but I just had to flesh out a few details the show never gave us *sigh. and it'll be interesting to see if they have any further sessions/mentions about what happened. Ugh. Hard to write but the eppy was in parts hard to watch! So excited for the return of season 8 but this season…sure is going to be different. (and I might come back with a few little pieces about Danny's new situation. First one shot since season 6 so hope I'm not to rusty here!) So please do review before you go b/c I'd love your thoughts on this emotionally angsty piece. Thanks everyone!