A/N: Is it me or is Rachel Luttrell just gorgeous pregnant? Ok, this is a missing scene/ tag for Quarantine. Spoilers for anything up to and including this episode. I mean, she just glows! Could be make-up…but I don't think so. Oh well, enjoy this short, little story.
Disclaimer: The Stargate universe is not mine. I'm just putting them to use and returning them, like a pair of bowling shoes.
What to Expect During the Unexpected
Standing on the ledge looking up, foolishness came to mind. Not only was she eating for two, breathing for two, drinking for two, and living for two, she was now allowing a climb up the outside of this building for two to run through her mind. She was actually thinking about it and then adamantly dismissing it as the foolishness she deemed it to be. She would stay put; she would wait, even though it galled her. She sat down on the uncomfortable stool and stared at the lab walls.
She had come to talk to John. He had, in turn, and after they were sealed in the room, become a flustered man-child. The man who had stared down Wraith, endured a feeding, and survived his own military's biases, was flustered by being trapped in a room with a pregnant teammate. John Sheppard was a man of many peculiarities.
Those peculiarities had become apparent as she grew to become his friend. She was embarrassed to admit, even to herself, that she had had a childlike crush on the seemingly heroic major that had rescued everyone, including herself, from a Hive ship. He seemed like an answer to her prayers of freedom from the Wraith and more intimately, her loneliness. She later understood that Kanaan was the answer to the latter and, yes, the Atlanteans were the answer to the first.
John possessed leadership qualities and intelligence. Even better, he presented something of a mysterious and exotic exterior- very exciting at the time. Yes, it was a short lived childish crush like when she was very young and the hunters would come back to camp with tales and proof of their exploits.
It had not lasted long. She grew up and realized that John Sheppard and his people were all too human. Halling, ever her voice of reason, had called her on it while the Athosians still lived within Atlantis' daunting halls. She was in love with the idea of conquering the Wraith so much she let herself be swayed by the brilliance of this Ancient jewel floating in the middle of an ocean.
The brilliance dulled. She truly understood their fallibility when he asked her during his first culling, "What do you want from me?" She had answered, "Too much, I fear." She had felt it too her bones. He did not understand and on some levels still did not. He could never give her what she longed for. She could see the differences so clearly in that moment. She learned to work around the quirks and as friends they melded into a quilt-- together yet individually unique.
And still, sometimes, both sides missed a stitch.
This confinement reserved her the time to truly and really think upon his actions and hers over the last several weeks. He had not handled the news at all well and had a knee jerk reaction. She understood that. But she also had made a few mistakes. Yes, the Athosian women remained active during their pregnancy but so did the women of Earth. She realized that she had misunderstood his initial reticence.
What she had failed to take into account were his reasons for his adamant reaction. Anger, surprise, guilt and maybe feelings of betrayal had colored his reaction. They had just come from a Hive ship with uncertain danger and he was missing a key piece of information about one of his teammates. If it had been one of her people, she too would have been less than happy. The situation had scared him.
Also, she had failed to recognize his extreme reliance on the trust he placed in the people close to him. And how important that was to him. A mistake on her part and one she should have known better than to provoke.
Still he had overreacted. And she was not sure he would ever see it that way. She could still go on missions, but she did have to concede the fact not all of them. Her encounter with the last Queen confirmed that small tidbit of wisdom. Still, she could not sit by and watch from the safety of Atlantis when there was a job she could do. She was needed and, in turn, she needed to be out there actively searching for her people, her baby's father, their legacy.
What confused her was John's expecting her back on the team after she gave birth. She hoped he was not thinking it would be the next day. She would require some time to recuperate. Unfortunately, his expectations also presented a dilemma-- one that struck her even more solidly than her mission status. She was not sure she could leave her son once he was born.
Their interrupted conversation had led to his story of a friend with children who did a dangerous job. Yes, John Sheppard remained a peculiar man who sometimes understood the situation better than she would have imagined. The dilemma struck her after the Queen sought out the mind of her unborn son. It was not just about her anymore. It was about them. Something so small and yet so big now guided her decisions, influenced her choices.
She was going to tell John about Marile who had been a gifted trader before her daughter Cyel had been born. Instead of going back through the Ring on trading parties, she decided to stay closer to home. She became a seamstress instead. She just could not leave her child.
Teyla did not know if that would be her in a few months, remaining behind in Atlantis or with her people when she found them. And she would find them, no matter the outcome. She could even see that John did not want it to be that way. He was expecting her back and she just did not know if she could do it. So much more than just herself…The last of the Athosians may very well be living within her womb. Such a great responsibility, she could not deny that.
The second alarm startled her and John's face, when he touched her belly, flashed into her mind. Joy, puzzlement, amazement, and sheer terror warred across the surface of it. He had offered family to her just a few moments before and she thought that maybe he was rethinking the offer when her son returned the touch with a forceful kick. Then he practically jumped out the window when the need arose.
She had never doubted he would make it. When John Sheppard set his mind to something, he was relentless. She knew that he would doggedly try to keep her on his team like he was trying to keep everyone from dying today. There was a fight brewing in the near future and of course she would do what was best for her and her baby no matter what John might want.
Although, she hoped that whatever John had done did not accomplish something worse. She stepped over to the workstation just in time to watch all the systems go down. This alarm sounded like the self-destruct. Teyla really hoped she was wrong. She really did want to have that discussion with him at some point in time. The sooner, the better.
Or maybe John was right. The only thing left to go wrong would be for her to go into premature labor bringing any doubts of status to a close. She immediately whispered a silent prayer and aimed a "just kidding and stay put" at her child. Just in case.
She knew that John Sheppard was a selfish man in many respects. And he would never truly understand her position and desire. But in some ways, it was nice to have him and the others on her team looking out for her, even if she did not need it.
Maddeningly, her conversation with John Sheppard was interrupted by another crisis that put her problems on the side of the cook fire temporarily. Maybe the spirits of the Ancestors were trying to tell her something. Maybe she should just let it rest for right now and let the situation take its own course with the answer appearing along with her child. And maybe she should go talk with Col. Carter and explain her reasoning. Who knew, maybe she would not have to worry about it soon because everything would come crashing down around her. Though, in some ways, it already had.
