I stared at him and tried to smile, but I couldn't stop the tears from slipping out. Nothing could ever prepare any mother for a moment like this. I wish it could have been me and not him.

For hours Augustus had been unconscious but when the nurse rushed into to tell us he was awake, I knew God had given me a few minutes to say goodbye.

We ran to his room and I saw him stirring gently in his bed, trying to get comfortable with all of the wires and tubes. Every single time I saw him like this my heart broke a little more. I knew it was only a matter of minutes before it was completely shattered.

I held his weak hand in mine, rubbing it ever so gently. He stared up at me and frowned slightly. "I am not ready, I feel like my life is ending like An Imperial Affliction. No distinctly clear ending but just something that keeps you wondering. So many loose ends that no one will ever be able to tie. I feel like a kid who can't tie a shoelace. I am just simply incapable of such act. I am not dying I am just...ending. A chapter in a book. The author will keep writing but my chapter is over."

I lost it all right there and started sobbing, burying my head into the sheets. I was supposed to be an example of strength and bravery and now I was just a puddle of emotions with no backbone.

I then felt a weight pat me on my back. "But I am happy. Yeah, the cancer gets to live and not me, but I got live. And live life to the fullest I could. I sincerely hope I get mentioned in someone else's chapter. I am not read to be out of the story."

I hugged him tightly as I could without hurting him. "It is going to be okay, Gus. You will always be in my chapter. You were the best part of my chapter. And you are never leaving it."

"Don't tell me I am okay, because I am not. I find it slightly offensive to say to a dying boy that he is going to be okay when, in reality, he is at the worst stage of his life. But I am forever grateful to be part of your chapter." He whispered, the heart rate monitor beside us beeped a few seconds slower.

I was fully aware of the nurses and doctors crowding around the door, I could hear their tears and cries echoing in the halls. The rest of my family rushed in and crouched beside me and stared at Gus with eyes spilling oceans of tears.

I felt Gus's grip on my hand weaken by the second, I choked back another tsunami of sobs as I stared into his eyes. Even on death's bed he still had that glimmer of happiness and hope, but I knew it was fading.

His eyes fluttered as he held on to his life for a few more seconds and his heart beat slowed down. "I love you all, and don't get too hung on up on me leaving. Death is just a separation for a longer period of time. Just because you can't physically see or hear me doesn't mean I am not there. And Mom, I need one last favor."

"Yes?" I whispered in a shaky voice.

"I need you...to call...Hazel Grace." His words began to slur together, his precious breathing becoming too fast. I watched the line on the screen become flatter and flatter.

I fumbled around with my phone trying to dial in the number. I finally pressed dial and waited for her to pick up. But it was too late. She never would getting to hear his dying words.

Gus's hand slipped out of mine and thumped against the bed and with his last breath I could hear him whisper one last word.

"Okay."

And the monitor flat lined.

My husband erupted in screams and the nurses and doctors rushed over to Gus trying to save him but I knew it was no use. Gus was gone.

At that moment Hazel picked up the phone crying and all I could muster was the words "I am sorry."

And I stared at my little piece of heaven on Earth that I knew, was going back home.