I do not know how long it's been since I last spoke with Eliza. I have sent her messages, I have called her, I have visited her apartment, but, simply nothing. How bad luck does a person have to find someone to love and suddenly vanish? Apparently I have all that bad luck, something good starts, and bum! it disappears.
For a long time I did not feel this way, I understand that she is sad, but, I want to be for her, I want to hug her and kiss her and tell her that everything will be fine, honestly I do not know how, but, that will be fine; that if she wants for the moment all we need is to be together, her job we can solve later, the problem here is that I have not even been able to talk to her since she was fired. It is as if the universe is determined to tell me that I do not deserve to love again.
Everything was going so well, I was falling in love with her, damn it! I am in love with her and I do not have the opportunity to say that, I consider myself patient, I have given her space, I understand that it is a difficult situation for her, but ... I do not know, I feel powerless, I want to go to yell Bailey to change her mind. I want to go yell at Richard, God! I even beg him to help me get her back to the hospital. I've been talking to April, she's my best friend and she tells me to give her space, but I can not do it any more. Talking to April has done me good, makes me more calm, but does not remove the fact that Eliza is not here. God, I do not even know if she's in Seattle.
What if she left? What if she never comes back? That's it? Will I not going to talk to her again? Will I not see her again? God! I will not even be able to tell her that all this time I've been falling in love, I do not know if I love her, it could be said that it's very soon, but could it be in the future? I know I will, I knew a long time that I could love her. There is nothing worse than having this uncertainty, not knowing what will happen, and the worst I feel useless!
I know that time will give me my answer and I hope it is a positive one. I know perfectly well that I will not be able to find someone like her, Jesus! I do not want to find someone else, I want her and only her. Today has been those days where you just have to drink a good glass of wine, something to forget and continue with your miserable life. Already! It's a little dramatic, but, it does not make sense ... Okay, enough of thinking this, I need that glass of wine and now.
The good thing about working at Gray's Sloan Memorial is that Joey's bar is right in front and I have no guard tonight, I do not see why not go and sink a little down.
Without thinking about it, I turn to Joey's and immediately go to the bar, ask the waiter for a drink and that's it. Before I noticed it, I find myself drinking and taking away the thoughts of my brunette and her beautiful eyes, and her lips, and her hands, God! Everything about her makes me crazy ... Enough is enough! I have to stop thinking about Eliza.
Leaving those thoughts aside and concentrating on my drink, a young woman approached me, sincerely I didn't pay attention, I just want to finish my drink and go home to sleep. Before that happens, she start talking to me.
"Are you drinking alone?" she asks me
Hang on Robbins people should not know your problems, leaving as a vomit verbal, and thinking again in Eliza, I answer "I was ghosted by my girlfriend". Good Robbins move now I look pathetic. We continue chatting for a while, but, my thoughts are elsewhere, this woman is cute, and hot. But, there is a small problem, I can not get a certain person out of my mind. I do not know how but, apparently I end up with this woman in my house ...
Next day…
God! It's like nine o'clock in the morning and my head is stagnating, yesterday's hangover. I remember that I did not come home alone, apparently I had a little hook up with DeLuca's sister; Carina is called.
I do not remember exactly how it happened, maybe I see it followed, I mean, it's DeLuca's sister, but, until then.
I'm ready to start my day I take my phone to confirm my schedule, it's a little sad, I still do not have a message from my brunette, I do not know if I have to send her another one, I mean, I've been sent her to many I do not know for how many days, It might seem like I'm stalking her, but I do not want to let her go. Decided to decide to send another in the hope that she will respond I start typing.
-Hey! I know, I've probably saturated your mailbox or something, but I can not stop thinking about you, please, Eliza! Let me help you, I know that sitar is not easy, I know you're angry, but, if you want to scream, go ahead! I will be that person, if you want to cry, I will be too. Whatever you want to do, just let me be. I have something to tell you, since I met you my life has changed, you have brought many positive things in my life, with your humility, your sincerity, your sense of humor, your smile, God! Everything about you has brought something good in me, now it's my turn to give you some of the wonders that you have given me, please! I want to see you ... I miss you -Arizona xX
Sending that message begins to prepare me to go to work.
There is a lot of noise in the hospital, how come? They are totally rebuilding a part that was destroyed by the fire a few days ago. I turn to the blackboard and meet April.
-"Hey!"- She tells me.
-"Hey! I have something to tell you, I know I know, I know what you will say ... "- I want to tell her what happened yesterday with DeLuca's sister, I know, we had sex but it was irrelevant, probably not the best of my decisions, I'm single or something ...
-"Does it have to do with what DeLuca said?"-
-"What? God! Here if the gossip runs, I know, I know I should not have sex with her sister, but, I do not know how it happened, and God! She's hot, but ..."-
Suddenly April cuts me off – "Wait what! Did you have sex with DeLuca's sister? Does DeLuca have a sister?"
-"I thought that was what you were talking about when you said, wait, if that's not, what is it? What did you mean by what DeLuca said?"-
-"It's something about Amelia, we'll talk about it later, you have sex?"-
-"Yes Yes! Probably not a good decision, but, I do not know April I'm tired of waiting, I mean, I know we're done, but ... I do not want it to end, God! I do not even want her to tell me that we can be together, I just want to see her, to show up, to know that in a way she's okay, or what if she thinks to go, at least tell me"- I sound a little sad and sad, it's the truth , I want to talk to Eliza more than anything in this world, but I'm already angry to wait.
-"I know, honestly I do not know what to say anymore, have you returned to her apartment?"-
-"Yes, but ... nothing ... do not tell me again that I give her time or space, it's exactly what I least need"-
It's been a few days, I honestly feel like crap, I went to look for Eliza to her apartment and I discovered that it is empty, I finished, I wanted an answer, well, there I have it. Eliza left me.
See? I told you, bad luck.
It's past nine o'clock and I'm totally exhausted, I arrive at my house and just before opening the door a voice sounds behind me. It is a silhouette that is sitting somewhere in the garden.
-"I knew you'd eventually get here, I've been looking all day." - Carina tells me.
-"I had to, I live here, why are you out here?" DeLuca is not arrived?-
-"I don't know, I didn't come to see my brother-
-"Really?"- I know where this is going ... She stands up and starts walking towards me.
-"Why you sound surprised? Looks like you've been avoiding me."
-"Of course not! Only busy days, you know how surgery is like."
-"I know, But we have a problema, I can't stop thinking about you." Oh God, she's getting closer to me, and she puts her hands on my hips, her eyes staring at me.
-"Really? I.."-. I don't know what to say, I don't want a relationship with her, don't get me wrong, if I was in other circumstances, I would totally go out with her, but, I return to the same, she is not Eliza.
-"Let's have a date, I want to meet you, just give me a chance, I have a very good idea for our first date. What do you say?" I thought this would be just casual sex, I didn't think she'd be invited me out, God.
-"I ... I .."-. Suddenly I am cut off by a pair of lips, I don't know what to do, Carina, she hugs me trying to get me closer to her, and my hands don't know what to do. I don't know how but I managed to get me out of that position. Before I can talk I can see someone is watching us ...
-Arizona?-. Oh my God! She's here, Eliza ...