Remember Me.
It would always be there, even though recent events had dampened it slightly, it would always lurk somewhere at the back of his mind. Two years, for God's sake. That was the kind of thing you don't just forget about. No pun intended.
Hell, it was the reason he'd become the criminal he was, back in 1941, the first time he'd been there. They had stolen two years of his memory. Two whole years, twenty four months, one hundred and two weeks, seven hundred and forty days. Sure, it was nothing to him now, but back then… he'd been a mortal man. He only had one lifetime, two years was a lot to take from it.
He wasn't planning on trying to con them, no, not now. He wouldn't allow himself to slip. He was on the straight and narrow. He would never be that man again. But he still couldn't help but wish he had those memories back.
"Jack?"
"Yeah, sorry. What's up?"
Jack snapped back into consciousness, turning to face the man in front of him.
"I asked if you were okay. Only, you look sort of… haunted," Ianto told him.
He leaned against the door frame, studying Jack's face. The older man's eyes seemed to be searching for something in the distance, looking straight past him. He seemed pale, and a little haggard.
"I'm fine, Yan, no ghosts here," Jack said.
His smile didn't quite reach his eyes though.
"It's understandable, Jack. I mean if you weren't okay. Someone else using Retcon, someone who isn't us… it's a little unsettling. No one would blame you if you were a little… not okay," the young man moved forward, standing just behind Jack, and placed one hand on his shoulder.
Jack sighed, covering Ianto's hand with his own.
"It's just… she was so familiar, Yan, every time I looked at her I got this horrible feeling of deja-vu."
He thought back to the woman sitting in the interrogation room with Gwen. He could almost picture her, in another setting, a uniform… Then it was gone.
She had been picked up trying to break into a house that she claimed was her own. The police had informed Torchwood after they'd found the faintest trace of an unknown compound in her blood, when they'd tested for drugs or alcohol. Owen confirmed it. The woman had been Retconned.
"Maybe we have dealt with her before, Jack. Two thousand and eight people, we've given Retcon to, we can't keep track of them all," Ianto reasoned.
He didn't like seeing his Captain like this. He seemed almost… afraid, but that wasn't possible. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Jack, take all that pain away from him. He knew Jack would never let him, though. Jack needed to be the stronger one, he could never let Ianto look after him, or their relationship would become something else entirely.
Something Ianto wanted it to become.
"There's something that just doesn't gel. There was only a tiny amount of Retcon in her system; we could have given it to her as much as five months ago, it would have only wiped one day. But she's missing two years…" Jack froze.
"Two years," he murmured, almost too quietly for Ianto to hear.
"Jack, we'll figure out what's happening here,"
I promise.
He slid his hands down Jack's arms, trying to embrace him, an act which wasn't entirely possible what with Jack's chair in the way. The older man linked their fingers, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of Ianto's hands, wishing desperately he hadn't just seen what he had. That woman, the one Gwen was babysitting right now, standing on a very familiar platform, clad in the unmistakable uniform of the Time Agency.
It happened twice more, two different people showed up, both having lost chunks of their minds. And with each of the familiar faces, Jack regained a little more of those stolen memories. He could remember the names of the amnesiac agents; he could remember some of his smaller missions. He knew he had every right to be scared.
Owen tested the other two, there was no Retcon in their blood, never had been. All they could do was look up their records, try to find their families, where they lived. Just as Jack suspected, there was no next of kin. Just temporary addresses. In the end they'd just sent them home. There was nothing else to do.
About a week later, they were sat around the conference table, munching on pizza and laughing as Gwen regaled them with the tale of unmitigated disaster that was her engagement party.
"And then I caught my cousin Ifan trying to chat up Rhys's mum in the bathroom!"
"Oh no!" Tosh giggled, helping herself to another slice of cheese and tomato,
"Tell me about it, he's almost as bad as you Jack!" Gwen joked, the rest of the team chuckled.
Jack just stared at Gwen in disbelief. His face darkened. Without warning, he was on his feet, gun drawn.
"How did you get in here?" he demanded, pointing the barrel at Gwen.
It was as if time froze, everyone was in so much shock.
"I work here, Jack," Gwen said, using her best police negotiator voice.
"No you don't. Who are you? You've got five seconds to tell me." Jack sucked in a breath, readying himself to pull the trigger.
"Jack, it's Gwen, what the bloody Hell are you playing at?" Owen shouted, he went to stand beside Gwen.
"Why are none of you doing anything? There's an intruder sitting at the fucking table and none of you are getting off your asses to do anything about it!"
"Jack, please, listen to me. She does work here, that's Gwen Cooper, she's worked here for over a year now, Jack, trust me," Ianto slowly moved in front of Jack, placing one hand over Jack's, lowering the gun slightly.
"She does?" Jack asked, looking horrified, "I don't… I can't…"
"Shh, it's okay. Let's just get you out of here," Ianto hushed him, he took the gun out of Jack's hand, very gently, and set it on the table.
Then, taking the trembling Captain's hand in his, he led him out of the room and down to his quarters.
"A year?" Jack gasped, "I've forgotten a year?"
He felt as though he couldn't breathe, like the fear was pressing down on his chest. But there was also the anger, that twisting, pulsating rage spreading out through his entire body, making even his fingertips tingle.
"I don't know, Jack, how much do you… what do you…" Ianto breathed in deeply, trying to steel himself for the next question,
"Do you remember yesterday?"
Jack smiled softly, reaching out to touch Ianto's arm,
"Of course I do, Yan, it's not every day you have a picnic on a plane wing."
The younger man's face fell,
"That was three weeks ago, Jack," he said gravely.
Jack's heart stopped. He had forgotten over a year of that woman… Gwen's life, three weeks of Ianto's. How much else had been stolen?
"And Toshiko? The last I remember with her is the day after that alien, Mary, broke in here,"
"God, Jack, I'm so sorry. That was last year."
"Owen… he… I gave him in trouble for having the alien pheromone spray…"
Jack looked so young; Ianto had never seen him like that,
"Almost two years ago."
He was aching to wrap his arms around his Captain, to make things better for him. But how did you fix something like this? A single sob broke from Jack's lips,
"Where's Suzie?"
"Jack… I… Suzie's dead," Ianto told him, he pulled Jack against his chest, tightening his arms around him.
Jack panted, on the brink of hyperventilating.
"We'll fix this, Jack. We'll find out what's doing this to you. We're Torchwood, it's what we do. We'll get your memories back, I'll make sure of it," Ianto told him.
The weight of the other man's pain was so intense he could feel it breaking his own heart. He meant every word of what he said; he wouldn't rest until he had made things right for this man.
Jack looked up at him, crystal blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
"I don't want to forget anything else," he whispered.
"I won't let you," Ianto promised him.
He tightened his arms around Jack, desperately trying to figure out how in the Hell he was going to keep his promise. The Captain slowly pulled out of Ianto's arms, keeping his gaze.
"Thank you," he said.
He put his hands either side of Ianto's face and brought their lips together in a delicate kiss. He sighed, revelling in the familiar taste. He ran his tongue over Ianto's bottom lip, silently begging for access. When it was granted he took comfort in the feel of the younger man's tongue twirling 'round his own, the sensation he was so used to. He moved his hands, caressing Ianto's face, his neck, his chest. He brushed tiny, passionate kisses over the younger man's lips, jaw-line, throat, anywhere he could reach. He felt Ianto's hands tugging at the hem of his shirt, slipping underneath to rub over the naked flesh of his back. He drew back, briefly to look into his lover's eyes.
"Don't let me forget you," he gasped, wrapping his fingers around Ianto's tie to pull him even closer for another, almost frantic, kiss.
He loosed the knot, slipping it from the younger man's collar, before going to work on his buttons.
Ianto realised what it was that Jack needed. He unfastened Jack's braces, and wrenched his shirt and undershirt over his head in one fluid motion, giving him full access to the Captain's bare chest. He swatted Jack's fingers away from his waistcoat,
"Not yet," he whispered, lips brushing Jack's earlobe, causing little electric shivers to run down his spine.
Ianto ran his tongue down the side of Jack's neck, pausing to suck gently where his shoulder began. He nipped the skin there, lightly with his teeth, before pressing a line of kisses across his collarbone. Jack struggled to keep his breathing in check; every time his chest heaved, his skin brushed against the fabric of Ianto's waistcoat. It excited him, but it made him yearn for the feel of Ianto's naked body pressed flush with his own. He moaned, suddenly, as he felt Ianto's lips encircle his nipple, sucking hard. His hands sought out the man in front of him, sliding up his torso to rest on his chest, desperate to feel him.
Ianto's tongue rolled over his nipple, before tracing down his chest, kissing his stomach. When he reached the waistband of Jack's pants, he ran one finger down the zipper, driving Jack wild.
He fastened his mouth to the growing bulge in the older man's pants, panting his hot breath right through the fabric. Then he slid up the entire length of Jack's body, creating a burning friction as their erections brushed together. He took advantage of Jack's moans to slip his tongue inside Jack's mouth, flicking upwards to tickle his palette. He longed to let Jack's hands wander, the tender pressure on his chest fomenting his passion for the man in his arms.
He gently lowered Jack onto the bed, battling against the overpowering urge to fuck Jack into the mattress. He needed to take this slow, to lovingly brand each touch, each kiss, each gasp into the Captain's mind.
Jack needed him to take his time over this, and he was going to do his damnedest to give Jack everything he needed, even if it felt like he was going to explode.
Ianto took both of Jack's hands in one of his own, lifting them above his head and pinning them to the bed. He wrapped his tie around Jack's wrists, trussing him to the headboard. His lips quirked in a wicked smile as Jack faintly struggled against his silk restraints, just enough to prove he was indeed held fast, not trying to really escape them.
Ianto slipped down, unfastening Jack's pants, taking it agonizingly slow. He pulled them off, leaving the older man splayed out, naked on the bed. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the tantalising sight of Jack's bare flesh, resplendent and just begging to be touched. He stripped off his waistcoat and shirt, feeling Jack's eyes watching his every move.
When he, too, was naked, he laid himself on top of his Captain, pressing his lips gently to Jack's in a kiss that would have been chaste, were it not for the context. The Captain groaned, his head spinning with the gorgeous fluid motion of their bodies wrapping around each other, the blazing skin-on-skin contact causing flames of electricity to go coursing through his veins.
The younger man fastened his lips to Jack's throat, sucking softly, swirling his tongue in tiny circles over the soft skin. His hands slid over the entirety of Jack's body, dragging his nails very gently over Jack's chest, tracing the pattern of his abdominal muscles, fingertips brushing oh so lightly over his flank.
"Please, Ianto… please… oh God!" Jack panted, his hips thrusting up to meet the gentle touch.
"Just be patient," he told the quivering man.
The Captain gave a little mournful whimper as Ianto's hand was completely removed from his flesh. The young Welshman raised his hand to his lips, sucking on the tip of his thumb, before wrapping his long fingers around Jack's cock. When he started to circle his thumb 'round the tip, Jack's brain completely melted.
"Oh God… yes!" he hissed, desperate for the use of his hands.
He envisioned his fingers ghosting over the back of Ianto's neck, gently scraping his fingernails down his back, gripping the younger man's hips as he ground their throbbing erections together, creating that pulsating friction, bringing them closer and closer to that pressurised edge. He started tugging frantically at his silky ties, trying his best to loosen them enough to slip his hands free.
"Stop it," Ianto told him, using a tone which, Jack reckoned, could command any drill sergeant in the known universe.
Jack stopped straining against his bonds immediately.
"But I want to touch you," he protested in between gasping moans.
"Later," Ianto told him, silencing the Captain with another searing kiss.
He began sliding his hand up and down the length of Jack's cock, pumping him slowly. Jack gave a noise that was half gasp, half strangled moan, bucking his hips up into Ianto's palm. A couple of strokes later and Jack was almost on the edge, ready to fall over into the vast chasm of excruciating pleasure.
"Ianto, stop! I… oh God, I want… I need," Jack squeezed his eyes shut, throwing his head back and fighting for breath.
"
What, Jack? What do you want? What do you need?" Ianto purred in a voice that was pure sex.
"I need to feel you inside me, now. Oh God, Yan, fuck me!" Jack moaned, his eyes locking onto Ianto's trying to convey the urgency in his request.
The Welshman just smiled at him, silently nodding his head. He reached over to the bedside table drawer and pulled out a tube of lubricant. Keeping up the calm mask was near impossible as the anticipation of what he was about to do spread through his limbs. He was already hard just from kissing Jack and hearing his moans; the thought of being sheathed deep inside his Captain's hot, tight body was driving him crazy with desire. He grabbed a pillow from underneath the huge pile Jack had under his head.
"Lift your hips," Ianto told him.
Jack quirked a questioning eyebrow.
"Because it's easier, now lift."
The Captain did as he was told without another word. Ianto slid the pillow under his lover's hips, his hands lingering there, fingertips gently caressing the soft white skin.
Keeping his eyes locked on Jack's, Ianto rubbed the packet of lube between his palms, warming it before coating his fingers with the clear gel. He sat back on his heels.
"Open your legs," he told the bound man.
When Jack did as he was told, Ianto positioned himself between his thighs. He kissed Jack, softly, just above his navel, his fingers drifting down to circle his lover's entrance.
"Yan!" Jack cried out as he felt Ianto's finger enter him and brush past that amazing spot, sending waves of ecstasy crashing through his body.
The younger man slowly withdrew his finger, pushing it back in and adding the second. He twisted them and curled them upwards, rubbing Jack's prostate fervently. The Captain thrashed against his bonds, chest heaving, legs shaking, pushing himself down on Ianto's fingers, screwing himself on the younger man's hand. Ianto scissored his fingers twice before withdrawing swiftly. Jack groaned with the sudden loss, only to gasp loudly when Ianto replaced his fingers with his cock, filling Jack completely in one deep thrust.
"Oh God, Yan, fuck! More… please, more," Jack begged, fighting desperately to keep his voice down, even though he felt the overwhelming need to scream out.
It had been so long since he'd been in this position. It stung, but underneath that there was this exquisite pulsing bliss; he felt so connected to his young lover, feeling Ianto's heartbeat speed up, pressed against his chest, hearing those tiny growls he made deep in his throat.
Ianto pulled out, still keeping things at that agonizingly deliberate pace, before driving back in vigorously. He reached one hand up to undo Jack's restraints, giving him back the full use of his hands. The older man instantly gripped Ianto's hips, using the new leverage to thrust himself back, onto his lover's shaft.
"You like this?" Ianto panted, angling himself into Jack's body, hitting the right spot each time.
"Fuck, yes!" Jack gasped, feverishly writhing on the bed underneath Ianto.
He shifted his hand from the younger man's hips to his own cock, stroking himself in time with Ianto's thrusts. The Welshman brushed his hand away, grasping Jack's cock and pumping.
"You're going to remember this?" Ianto asked, deadly serious, thrusting frantically into Jack's body, desperate to implant this moment in the older man's mind forever.
"For the rest of my fucking life!" Jack moaned.
He fastened his mouth on the side of Ianto's throat, covering the flesh with tiny kisses and bites. Smothering his cries in the crook of his lover's shoulder. Jack wrapped his legs around Ianto's waist, striving for release.
"Oh, Jack!" Ianto cried, twisting one hand into Jack's hair to pull him in for a deep, fervid kiss.
Hearing the young man scream his name like that was too much for Jack.
"Yan… I'm gonna…c… oh God!" Jack gasped, pressing tiny kisses over Ianto's face.
"It's okay, Jack, let go," he told his Captain, driving into him, hard.
Jack let out a strangled cry, spilling the sticky white fluid over their stomachs and chests. The rapid clenching and convulsing of Jack's muscles around his cock set Ianto off too, and he collapsed on top of his lover, sated.
They lay in each other's arms afterwards, Ianto gently running his fingers through Jack's hair.
"Jack?" Ianto asked, suddenly fearful for the man lying against his chest, his strong, powerful Captain, brought so low by the things that were happening to him.
"Don't worry, Yan, I'm still here," Jack assured him.
Although his mind secretly wandered, to the question he was so afraid to ask. What would it be like to live forever with no recollection of who you were? Each day spent scrambling for some small hint as to what your life was like before those memories were stolen. It was bad enough when they took the two years, if anything else went… well; he wasn't sure how he would cope.
"I know you know I was a time agent," Jack told Ianto; speaking in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
"I left them because I woke up one morning to find I had no recollection of the past two years of my life. It was the Time Agency, they'd stolen my memories. I spent the next couple of years trying to con them into giving me that part of my life back. It was before I became immortal, so two years was a pretty huge thing to take from me. But, what with travelling, finding out I couldn't die, coming here… I put it behind me. What's two years when you have all of eternity? But… that woman showed up here. She was a time agent too, one of the memories I had stolen from me. The other two were also time agents. For some reason, when I saw them, it started coming back to me, I remembered them, their names. They had all been wiped too, and they were all sent here. I don't really understand it…" Jack trailed off, looking out into the distance.
"How did the Time Agency wipe your memories?" Ianto asked, thoughtfully.
"I don't really know. I guess I always thought it was their own brand of Retcon," Jack replied, trailing his fingers over Ianto's chest.
"Who were the other three?" the younger man asked; his line of questioning baffling Jack.
"I don't know, I think they were fairly high up in the ranks though. I seem to remember them wearing more stripes than anyone else," he replied.
"So… d'you think, is it possible their memories weren't really wiped?" Ianto mused. Jack sat bolt upright.
"We need to get upstairs, right now," he said.
"Nope, none of the three time agents are listed now. Their records have been completely wiped," Ianto told him, tapping away, frantically at the computer.
"You've got something in the back of your neck," Owen said, staring at the X-ray he had taken of Jack's head.
"A microchip!" Tosh gasped.
She ran her scanner over Jack's neck, peering intently at the readings.
"It's giving out 'firgezzan waves' those haven't even been invented yet!" she told them.
"That's 'cause this thing's from the future, about three thousand years," Jack said.
He took Tosh's gadget from her, running his eyes quickly over the information on its screen.
"Owen, what I want to know is… can we get this thing out safely? It's not gonna self destruct and wipe my entire memory?" Jack asked.
"We should be able to get it out. It's not latched on to anything. Jesus Christ, Jack, how did we not see this before?" the team's doctor replied,
"I think it's only just activated," Ianto told them, "When the other time agents appeared. That's why it's only just become visible now."
"It was activated eleven days ago. The waves it emits re write the parts of the brain that create memories, effectively wiping out active memories with repressed ones. So everything you forgot years and years ago will come back suddenly, replacing all your most recent memories," Tosh told him,
"Which is why I don't remember hiring that woman… Gwen?" Jack said, looking over at Gwen's empty desk.
Owen had driven her home before coming back to the hub. She had been pretty upset over the whole thing.
"Yeah, but don't worry. It should all be reversed when the chip comes out," Tosh reassured him,
"Phew, that's a load off!" Jack sighed,
"Well, yeah… if it were really as simple as all that," Tosh said, her face fell.
She reached out and placed a consoling hand over Jack's.
"What do you mean?" Ianto asked, panic reflected in his blue eyes,
"Well, this is 51st century technology. It was made in a factory in a place called Villain… Ville…"
"Villengard," Jack clarified,
"Yes, that's it. So, anyway, it's pretty much classed as a weapon. So, if we take it out without properly disabling all the signals… it'll, well, God, Jack it'll wipe everything from your mind. You'd be like a blank C.D. nothing there," she blurted.
"Then we make sure we do this right," Jack said.
Masking his horror with his usual brave façade.
"Are you ready?" Toshiko asked, holding her scanner in one hand, a Talonium mind probe in the other.
"Ready as I'll ever be, I mean, are you ever ready to have your brain knocked out?" Jack joked; he looked at each of his team in turn, offering them a wan smile.
His eyes lingered on Ianto for a moment.
"Come here," he mouthed at his young receptionist,
"Jack, I…" Ianto began, not able to think of anything else to say.
"Don't worry about it," he whispered, pulling Ianto closer to him and pressing one last kiss into his lips.
Owen looked away, embarrassedly, although he did have a heavy-hearted expression on his face. Tosh looked as if she was about to cry from too much emotion.
"Guys, if this doesn't work, you've all been great. It's been a pleasure working with you all. I… I wanna thank you all for everything. Tosh, you know, it's all gonna work out for you some day, you'll find that special someone, you deserve it. Owen, you're gonna find a way to have some sort of normal life, even with this job. It is possible, you know. Ianto, God, Yan, you gave me the best memories I could ever ask for. You've really come into your own here. One of these days you'll be running this entire operation. You really are amazing, you know that? And if this does work then I am gonna look so dumb for giving this little speech," Jack gave a little chuckle.
"Right, I guess I'd better…" Tosh gestured with the probe, wiping a tear from her eye.
Ianto couldn't help but notice that the thing in Toshiko's hand looked almost exactly like a set of hair curling tongs, except it occasionally flashed mauve, he idly wondered if it heated up.
"Go for it," Jack said, he dropped his head to give her better access to his neck.
None of the others seemed to see it, but a small pool of tears slowly formed on Jack's hand.
The Talonium probe started bleeping as Tosh ran it over Jack's neck. She slowly edged it closer and closer to his skin. It seemed to take an eternity, but, after she had pressed the thing right into his neck, it started flashing blue. The probe emitted a loud singing note and went dead.
Toshiko looked at them all, gravely. She held her scanner over the chip. Holding her breath, she tapped in the necessary codes.
"Owen, it should be okay for you to remove the chip now," Tosh whispered.
You could cut the tension with a knife. Everyone stood to attention, almost afraid to move in case it somehow effected the machinery. Owen's hand quivered the first time he picked up the scalpel.
"This'll sting a bit, Jack. I'm sorry, I would have given you an anaesthetic, but it could mess with the chip," Owen explained.
"It doesn't matter; I might not remember the pain in a second, right?" Jack said.
He flinched as he heard Toshiko let out a sob.
"Sorry, too soon, huh? Don't worry, I believe in you guys. We've overcome worse," he announced.
Owen braced himself, trying to steady his hand. He made a tiny cut at the nape of Jack's neck.
"Three… two… one…" Owen counted off.
He stuck a set of tweezers into the incision, picking up the chip. The moment he removed it, Ianto flung himself at Jack, wrapping his arms tightly 'round his waist.
"Jack?" he sobbed thickly, pressing his face into his lover's chest.
It seemed that an entire lifetime passed before, finally, Jack answered him.
"Don't worry, Yan, I'm still here," echoing what he had told Ianto the last time he asked that question.
"Do you remember yesterday?" he asked,
"We spent the day chasing what turned out to be a Pullonic Frisbee, then we used it for a quick game on the roof of that office building," Jack said, grinning at the young man.
"Yep, we did," Ianto replied, tightening his arms around Jack.
"And Gwen Cooper is…?" Tosh asked,
"At home, instead of here, at work where she should be," Jack pointed out.
"And you are…?" Owen joked,
"The seventh president of the Vegas Galaxies," Jack answered, seriously.
The team exchanged horrified looks,
"Shit!" Owen said; staring down at the little, bloody microchip on his instrument table.
"Got you!" Jack laughed, "I'm Captain Jack Harkness, 133 squadron, Royal Air Force, leader of Torchwood Three, Cardiff, general dashing hero type and, little known fact, former male model."
Tosh gave him a little playful slap on the arm, and then hugged him so tightly she nearly cut off his air supply.
"Tosh, I love you too but seriously, I don't really feel like suffocating so soon after I nearly got my memory wiped clean. One drama at a time!" Jack laughed.
She reluctantly let go of him, and let the others have their turn.
Owen patted his shoulder,
"Glad you didn't become a vegetable, mate," he told Jack, his voice catching slightly in his throat.
"Me too," Jack replied, smiling fondly at him.
Tosh gave him a look and the two of them disappeared into some other part of the hub.
"So you remember everything?" Ianto asked him when they were alone,
"Yeah, even the missing two years," Jack replied.
He held out his hand to Ianto, pulling him down on top of him on the medical table.
"There's a time and a place, Jack!" he said, feigning shock,
"Hey, can't a guy relish being alive and having the man he loves still firmly stuck into his memories?" Jack asked,
"I suppose, under the circumstances…" the younger man replied, his eyes giving away how touched he really was.
Jack just said he loved him, directly, for the first time. He snuggled closer to Jack, burying his face in the other man's shirt.
"I love you too," he murmured, the words a little muffled by Jack's chest.
Jack kissed the top of his lover's head, tightening his arms around him. The warm fuzzy feelings of the moment overshadowing the lingering fear that the Time Agency had done something to his mind, and they were still out there somewhere. Then Ianto kissed him again, and his mind could only focus on the gorgeous man wrapped around him.
Fin. (For now.)