A/N: Headcannon that Levi has his own horse which he loves more than (almost) anyone/anything put together and that he visits it to sleep whenever he can't sleep. Also, in case anyone was interested, I created a tumblr for the sole purpose of putting my fics up there (props to Green Phire for suggesting it; I probably wouldn't have done that otherwise). Link can be found on my profile; if you can't find it or the link is corrupted or something, feel free to message me about it. That said, feel free to message me if you'd like to start dissecting/analysing my fics that's one of my favourite past times :)
Disclaimer: I don't own SnK
It was a cool, dry day, perfect for sneaking a nice, afternoon nap like Sasha was in the trees, or for training with her 3DMG along with Eren and Jean, or reading up and doing some research like Hanji or Armin. Instead, Mikasa Ackerman found herself walking briskly to the stables, her hand holding firmly onto a metal bucket, mouth pursed in a grim line, and her brain finding new ways to curse Captain Levi and his priorities in the war against the Titans.
In spite of the frustrating lack of advance in their intelligence on the Titans, and the pile-up of mysteries concerning them, he didn't seem to have any problems looking past that, and assigning extra cleaning duties to everyone who irked him in the slightest way possible. Still; while her overt rudeness towards him (which she thought he fully deserved) hadn't gotten a reaction out of him before, at least she'd managed to get some sort of rise out of him this time round. That had to be worth a consolation prize, she thought, opening the door of the stables and leaving the cold air for the warm, humid one within the building. Besides, she'd be able to spend more time with her favourite horse, and that wasn't such a bad thing at all.
They weren't supposed to have assigned horses in the Survey Corps; far too many soldiers were picked off by Titans far too many times, and it had been decided that it was much more efficient (and possibly better for both the horses' and the humans' emotional health) for soldiers to just saddle up whichever horse was the closest to them and ride out whenever necessary. In spite of that, Mikasa had developed a fondness for a particular horse, and in a rare bout of rebellion that had nothing to do with Eren, did her best to ride it as much as possible. She took care not to show too much affection for it in front of others, of course, and instead liked finishing her tasks quickly and taking a bit of time off to visit her horse, as she had dubbed it. However, visiting her horse certainly did not entail cleaning all the stalls in the stables, and so even if she did get to spend more time with it without sneaking off, she was still not going to be happy about it.
She had just finished cleaning the rest of the stalls, and was in the last one with her horse, when she heard the stable doors open, then shut quietly, as if the intruder didn't want anyone to see him or her entering the wooden building. Mikasa kept herself low, and angled herself so her vantage point allowed her to see slightly above the walls of the different stalls. She didn't hear anything for a while, though, and part of her was beginning to think that it was the wind playing tricks on her mind, when she heard a shuffling near the front of the stables.
There was a soft nicker from one of the horses stabled near the front of the room, and the stall door opened and closed, though she still couldn't see who it was.
"Sorry, Ravioli, only have a few extra stalks of hay for you," Captain Levi's voice was low, but it carried easily throughout the room.
Mikasa's eyes widened slightly, but she didn't make a sound. So, it's that shorty, huh. No wonder I wasn't able to see him come in. Her hand idly smoothed over her horse's coat, and she moved as quietly as possible to sit on the ground and start picking stones out of its hooves.
"Tch," Levi muttered. "Looks like Ackerman isn't good at cleaning the stalls either, does it?" A pause, then a sigh. "But those brats aren't here to clean, are they? No, they're here to possibly sacrifice their lives in the name of humanity." There was a bit of quiet for a while, before he started to speak again.
"Been a while since I've come to visit you, hasn't it? Did you miss me? In my defense, it's been complete shit out there; I got my entire squad killed just to find out nothing, and we have to hold our position here like fucking sitting ducks. Haven't slept properly in fucking weeks, and Erwin's off within the walls trying to get himself killed."
Mikasa remained sitting on the ground, choosing not to reveal her presence to the captain, her back against the wall of the stall and her horse softly nibbling on her hair. She'd wanted to wait for the captain to finish doing whatever he'd come in here for, before leaving the stables after he'd gone, but he didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. She took her time brushing her horse's coat, working the knots and bristles from its hair, Captain Levi's voice fading into the background after a while.
Eventually, though, her muscles ached with inactivity, and she realised the Captain's voice had stopped for a while. Blinking blearily, she rose to her feet with a final pat for her horse, careful to keep her movements silent in case he was still there. As she crept past the stalls to the door, she noticed one of the horses lying down on its bedding, its head resting on the ground, in a position she'd never seen before.
Looking closer, she saw Captain Levi there as well, curled up against the horse and on the bedding, for the first time without the scowl he sported on his face. In sleep, he looked almost peaceful, but also much more weary than he did while marching around and issuing commands to everyone to clean the place.
Mikasa quietly took down a horse blanket from where they were stored at the front of the room, and arranged it neatly over him, tucking the corners slightly under his curled up form, before leaving the stables as quietly as she could.
It wasn't until later, towards the end of dinner, that she realised that her handkerchief was missing. If it had been any other handkerchief, she wouldn't have been concerned at all, but this was the one token she still had of her birth parents. She and her mother had embroidered it together one evening, the soup bubbling on the fire and dried flowers hanging from the walls. They'd finished it just as her father had come home, and they'd given it to him as a present. He'd pressed it into her hands later that night as he tucked her in with a kiss on the forehead, and a whisper into the shell of her ear that he wanted her to have it instead. She'd carried it everywhere with her since, and it had taken up a permanent residence in her jacket, within hidden pockets she had sewn into the inner layers of the brown clothing.
She kept her head down and continued chewing through dinner, the normally already-tasteless food turning dry and mealy in her mouth. There was no use panicking about the issue now—it would only cause Eren and Armin to worry about it, and anyway, due to safety reasons, no one was allowed to leave the compound after dark. It had probably fallen somewhere in the stables while she'd been cleaning it up, and she must have missed it on the way out. There was nothing for it but to go back tomorrow before morning training started and to look for it. But however much she tried to rationalise it, her mind kept shifting to the small white handkerchief, presenting different scenarios in which she could lose it for good.
"Mikasa? Do you want that last piece of bread?" Sasha asked, her hand already reaching over across the table.
It had turned into a kind of habit between the two of them; every night at dinner, Sasha would ask Mikasa if she wanted her last piece of bread, and every night, Mikasa would pick it up, and push it into her own mouth. And so when Mikasa shook her head and pushed the last bits of crust over to the other girl, Sasha was more than a little surprised, but also more than a little gleeful.
Armin nudged her quietly under the table. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Mikasa gave him a small smile, pushing away from the table. "I think I'm done with dinner; I'll see you later,"
Armin stared strangely after her, but didn't make a move to go after her, instead pulling Eren down and preventing him from following her.
Unsure of where to go, but unwilling to go back to the stuffy confines of her small room, Mikasa wandered throughout the winding halls of the decrepit castle, eventually moving into a completely deserted section of the place, and finding her way out onto a small porch overlooking a lake.
To her vague surprise, Captain Levi was standing there, leaning against the rickety railing, staring out at something she couldn't see. Her body twisted as she turned away to leave her alone, her red scarf dangling limply down her shoulders.
"Ackerman," he said, without turning around.
She paused, then turned back to him. He turned around then, facing her, the moon throwing shadows on his face and accentuating his sharp features. He crossed the small area towards her, almost intruding into her personal space. Mikasa pursed her lips, refusing to move backwards, her spine straightening impossibly before him.
"I believe this is yours," he said, voice low, pressing a slightly-yellowed piece of cloth in her hands, the red and blue threads faded with time but vibrant against their almost-white background. "Be more careful with it."
He walked away then, leaving her handkerchief in her hand, his shoulder almost brushing hers as he walked by.
"Captain," she called after him, biting her lip as he turned, his form ensconced in the shadows. "Thank you."
"We'll call it even," he nodded at her from his place. "Mikasa."