The Veudaflaires sat eagerly in their cozy leather seats, while Mr. Hoe whispered busily to the accountant on the other side of the shiny marble desk.
The Veudaflaires were to be sent to live with their new guardian, whom of which that had never met. But having watched the people on their parents "adult" movies, they knew that the other people out there had to be absolutely mesmerizing.
Their parents had passed away a week ago, on Christmas Day. They had joyfully blessed their youngest daughter Runny with a shiny new razorblade to suck on. After a few moment of bloody harmony, Sunny had lashed out at her parents, taking them both out with a single swipe. Straight through their bellies.
Mr. Hoe had arrived at their doorstep to take them away a few minutes later, while Blouse (the middle boy child) was busy reading the code on his father's shaven forehead, and Amulet (the eldest girl) was busy creating a fashionable catapult using only her parents intestines and eyelids.
That brought them here, after a joyous adventure upon a glorious police blimp filled with campfire songs and popcorn.
Mr. Hoe and the female accountant disappeared behind the counter.
"I simply cannot withhold my incredible excitement for shaking the hand of our new guardian." Whispered Runny, blabbering something which probably meant "I like the suck on guardians."
Amulet flipped Runny's razor our of her frilly dress and began to slide it slowly up and down her pale face. "Blouse, do you think we shall enjoy the time spent with our new parent?"
Blouse nodded his head and flipped his black bangs from his eyes. "Oh yes. I'm sure he will have plenty for us to do." He smiled and snatched the razor from his sister, taking his turn. "For you, Amulet, he'll have plenty of things for you to invent, rub, and create. For me, I can't wait to read the messages hidden all over him. And for Runny, surely he must have something to suck on."
Amulet Vaudeflaire smiled at her brother. "Golly, Blouse, you sure know what to say to cheer up a lonely girl like me. I simply cannot wait to meet our new flesh and bloody guardian."
Blouse smiled in return. "Anything for you, Amulet."
And, for a moment's peace, the three siblings fell onto each other's laps and shared an incredible, intense moment of peace as they stared lovingly at each other's nostrils.
Before they knew it, they were all fast asleep.