It was like, totally the morning and Buttercup (or BC as she preferred to be called) woke up in her bed and sighed gloomily. Her pitch black pillow was stained with tears and mascara from the night before and her razor-cut wrists stung with pain.
"I'm so sad," she sighed as she got up from her black shrouded bed and walked over to her black shrouded wardrobe. She stripped out of her black, lacy nightie that came to her thighs and showed off her lime green thong and grabbed some cool clothes to wear.
"Why are you sad, BC?" Said a sock puppet that suddenly came to life and floated over beside her head. BC sighed gloomily. She had dressed into a pair of dark, forest green skinny jeans with black stars on the ass and a pitch black, see-through, lacy top with tassels hanging off the sleeves. She had neon green Doc Martens on and a black lacy thong which was totally hot.
"I'm depressed, Mr. Sock," BC sighed gloomily, wiping her bright emerald green eyes, smearing her make-up sexily as she did.
"That's no golly good, BC. Why are so down and unhappy with a grumpy-ole frown on your beautiful face?" Asked Mr. Sock, shaking his head. BC shook her head as well.
"Well, my life simply sucks. It sucks, sucks, sucks! It sucks even more than a vacuum cleaner. It's so bad it's bad! My awful father is a total asshole to me, my sisters are total bitches to me and no-one understands me at school."
Mr. Sock felt a single tear run from his black button eyes and run down his cotton cheek.
"Well that is terrible. BC you're so misunderstood! Everyone says that Blossom should be the leader but you're 10 times smarter and stronger then her! Everyone says Bubbles is a cute but you're so hot you caused global warming! You're the best puff and everyone knows it!"
BC smiled a faint pink blush going over her skinny, gaunt cheeks.
"I know right?"
Suddenly the door crashed open and the tall, evil form of the Professor came into the room. He started laughing maniacally like an evil chipmunk, high on helium.
"You stupid little whore! I'm gunna kick your ass motherfool! Haha!" He got a big leather whip out of the front of his pants and started whipping at his daughter madly. It hit Mr. Sock in the face and he was sent screaming out of the window.
"Nooooooooooooooooo!" BC yelled as her only friend lay dead on the pavement. Tears ran down her cheek as her father whipped her really bad cause he was like really mean and stuff.
"Go to school motherfool! Haha!" He yelled and cart wheeled out the door, laughing as he did so. BC wept pitifully, blood and tears intermixing as they slid down her cheeks.
As she started to walk to school even though she could fly, she picked up Mr. Sock and gave him one final hug.
"I'll miss you," she sighed gloomily. Suddenly her bitchy sisters' ran out the door.
"Buttercup, hurry up or we'll be late for school! Haha I think I'm really cool but I'm actually a nerd! Hahaha I'm fugly!" She laughed and BC started to cry again.
"My only friend died this morning," she wept and Blossom grabbed the sock from her hand, threw it to the ground and peed on it. BC looked at the dampening sock in horror.
"I don't give a poop if it died! It's not even real! You are PARANOID and you are STUPID! That's why I'M the LEADER and YOU'RE not!" She yelled bitch-slapping her sister across the face 60 times. Then she flounced off to school like a stuck-up bitchy nerd. Bubbles gave BC the finger as she strutted off.
"WHY IS MY LIFE SO HORRIBLE?" BC cried as she sobbed hysterically.
At school everyone turned and started laughing at BC as soon as she walked through the door.
"Haha you're a loser!"
"LOSER"
"LOOOOOSER!"
"LLLLOOOOOSSSSEEERRRR!"
BC started to sob, big beautiful tears running down her cheeks. Then a pack of mean, snobby girls, led by that blond, bimbo Bubbles started to chuck heavy, 10 ton books at her head and poison darts at her gorgeous face.
"We hate you for no apparent reason!"
"The audience is going to feel very sympathetic for you!
"You suck!"
Halfway through the torment, Bubbles shook her head.
"This freaking script is making me really out-of-character! I'm the nice one! I quit!" Then she stormed off. BC stood up and sighed gloomily. That was the third Bubbles replacement they had lost this week. After a few more seconds of confused silence the crowd turned around and continued tormenting poor BC.
"Hey stop being mean to that beautiful girl who looks exactly like me!" Came a deep, sexy, heroic voice from behind them. They all slowly turned around and stared at the sexy, magnificent god that stood before them. He had shining, raven black hair and glowing, green eyes of wonder and beauty and orgasms!
He was dressed in an uber-cool, ripped green singlet which showed off his uber-sexy muscles that glistened in the non-existent sun. He worse a pair of tight, tight- tight black jeans that were so tight it was impossible for him to ever reproduce. He was so damn hot.
People stared as he came up to BC who stared in wonder at his breath-taking looks. He swept her into his arms and kissed her on the forehead.
"Hey baby,'' he purred just like…like...a man! BC felt shyness flood through her. She wasn't good enough for his beautiful guy. She was a loser. She should just kill herself now and let this gorgeous guy be with someone better than her.
"No BC!" Said a familiar voice. Everyone stared in shock as the ghost of a sock puppet floated up to the matching duo. BC cried with joy. It was the ghost of Mr. Sock!
"BC your too special and beautiful to be mistreated the way you do! Everyone knows that you're the best puff and should be the leader. You deserve to be with this guy called Butch who used to want to kill you but now is mysteriously a good guy. You're SPECIAL!" Then with a kiss on her nose he floated off.
"You're special BC!" The crowd cried, happy smiles lighting their faces. Mr. Ghost-Sock flew over their heads sprinkling happy dust and unicorn powder with a happy smile on his cotton face.
They crowded around her cheering for their special little princess. How could they ever been so mean? Suddenly there was an angry yell and Blossom stormed down towards her sister.
"What the poop? Why are you being so nice to BC? She stupid! I'm the leader! I rock!" The crowd started booing. She looked around with furious eyes of hatred and evil and bitchiness. Mr. Ghost-Sock shook his head sadly and floated up to her red, puffy and really ugly face.
"You are full of anger and jealously and bad emotions. You are nowhere near as good as BC. You mistreated her when she should be treated like royalty. So I shall punish you for your misdeeds against our precious BC."
Then he stuck a grenade in her mouth and blew up her head. Everyone cheered. Butch and BC walked away into the sunset happily together. BC became the only puff as she is 10 times stronger and better than the other two. She had three daughters with Butch named Dizzy, Daffodil and Dreemy. The Professor became a child-molester and thrown in jail for a billion trillion years.
And Mr. Sock laughed triumphantly at the horror he had created.
A/N Heeheehee. I wrote this very late at night and it seemed funny then. And it's a parody. I got tired of seeing fics when one puff was hailed and other two bashed. Also why does everyone make the Proffesor and asshole? It gets on my nerves! Well...cya then. (Awkward pause.)