Prologue

"You believe in signs Trace?" Andy asked her best friend, as they were standing in the sterile hospital room packing up Andy's belongings, while Sam was taking care of her release papers.

"What do you mean?" Tracy asked not sure what Andy was getting at – only thing Traci was sure of these days was that Sam and Andy had been through hell, and needed some relief.

"Maybe…maybe I'm not suited for this, and somehow fate intertwined." Andy tried to make sense of this senseless situation her and Sam was in.

"Andy listen to me…" Traci grabbed her best friend by the shoulders, and looked her directly in the eyes.

"…what happened to you and Sam was cruel, and no matter how much you try and make sense out of it you can't. It was an unspeakable tragedy, but it does in no way reflect on your capabilities as a mother you hear me?" Andy felt tears stream down her cheeks, but was so numb these days she couldn't even phantom raising her hand, and wiping them away.

"How can you be so sure?" Andy asked her voice hoarse evident of having spent countless hours mourning the loss of her and Sam's baby.

"Just look at you and Leo huh? You were there for his birth, for every single birthday/Christmas/summer grill parties. I could go on and on. And when Leo needed to learn how to skate – who taught him huh? You did McNally. Come here." Traci pulled her best friend into a hug, which prompted Andy to immediately clutch onto fistfuls of Traci's sweater – needing something to hold onto.

"Thank you Trace…" Andy hiccupped unable to hold the emotions back any longer, as Sam appeared in the doorway of the room witnessing the two best friends in a tight embrace. Traci locked eyes with Sam, and felt sorry for him. He looked like a wreck; running his fingers through his black hair before they came to rest under his stubbled chin.

"…you just deduct it from the tons of favors you've done for me over the years' girl…" Traci replied knowing full-well that neither she nor Leo would be where they were today if it hadn't been for Andy.

The ride home from the hospital had been quiet, too quiet. Andy had glanced over at Sam many times, but for the first time ever she'd been speechless. Did she feel guilty? Was it her fault? Did she blame him? Was it his fault? Or was Traci right? Was it really just an unspeakable tragedy where no one was to blame? The truck came to a full stop in front of their house. Sam shut off the engine and leaned against the seat with a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry…" Andy's voice was barely a whisper, but Sam caught every word breaking his heart.

"…sorry? Baby you have nothing to be sorry about…" Sam replied turning around in his seat placing his hands on each side of Andy's face, and bringing it close to his own.

"…yes I do. If I hadn't been working that day, if I hadn't been working in booking then maybe…" Andy rambled on trying to find a reason for why it had happened – why they'd lost their baby refusing to look Sam in the eyes.

"…shh…" Sam shushed her kissing her on the forehead before angling her head so she looked him straight in the eyes.

"…Sam…" Andy whimpered, as tears made their way down her cheeks.

"…I don't care how many times I have to repeat this to you, but nothing that's happened these past couple of days has been your fault. It kills me to see you this way, and if I could take away this hurt I would. You are everything to me, and I love you so much." Sam continued as a single tear made its way down his cheek.

"I love you too…" Andy whispered, drying away the single tear with her right hand.

"…come on." Sam replied, as they got out of the truck, and made their way into their home; their quiet home.

"Mommy!" Leo squealed, as Traci entered the home she shared with Jerry and Leo.

"Hi sweetie…" Traci smiled squatting down, and gathering Leo in a hug as Jerry appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"…how is auntie Andy? I've made her a get-better card." Leo asked looking between his mom and Jerry noticing that something wasn't right.

"Baby…auntie Andy will love this!" Traci exclaimed putting on a brave face for her 9 year old.

"Buddy…why don't you head upstairs, and jump into bed? Then your mom will be right up to tuck you in. You have a big day tomorrow remember?" Jerry reminded the boy he considered to be his own even though biologically Dex was his father.

"Okay…" Leo replied heading upstairs, as Traci yelled after him.

"…I'll be right up baby…" Jerry helped Traci shrug out of her jacket before taking her into his arms.

"…how are they doing?" Jerry asked running his hands up and down his fiancées back.

"About as well as you could expect. God! And Andy is of course blaming herself, and Sam…God Jerry he's a wreck." Traci told her fiancé, as they walked into the living room holding hands before taking a seat on the couch.

"Collins better steer clear off Sammy for the rest of his life…" Jerry sighed in the back of his throat.

"Nick isn't to blame for this!" Traci exclaimed feeling protective of her fellow colleague.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm not saying that either, but I know Sammy, and he'll need to blame someone. Right now he's focused on Andy, as he should be. But at some point he'll need somewhere to put all of his frustration." Jerry tried to explain.

"Nick was there in booking when it happened; yes. But that doesn't translate into it being his fault that it happened." Traci continued to support her friend and colleague.

"He should have had a better handle on the situation Trace…"

"…so what you're saying is that if the roles had been reversed, and if I'd been there instead of Nick it would've been my fault Sam and Andy lost their baby?" Traci exclaimed almost jumping off the couch in anger.

"No! Because you wouldn't have made that mistake." Jerry argued.

"You can't know that. Everybody can make a mistake – none of us are perfect Jerry. Not even you and Sam."

"Where is this coming from Trace? I don't want to fight all right? Let's just agree to table this conversation huh?" Jerry offered walking towards Traci.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just so tired…" Traci tried unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn, as Jerry gathered her in his arms.

"…I love you, you know that right?" Jerry whispered into Traci's hair.

"I love you too." Traci smiled, as they could hear Leo yelling he was ready for his bedtime story. Jerry and Traci walked hand in hand upstairs to spend time with their son.

Sam hated feeling this way; useless. He had known the feeling since he'd been nine years old. Back then it had been his sister Sarah that had been hurting, and now it was Andy. Just like back then with Sarah he couldn't help Andy now. Something precious had been yanked out of their lives, and now they were left picking up the pieces of their shattered lives.

Andy stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror gathering her brown locks in a messy bun on the top of her head. She felt numb; completely and utterly numb. Why had it happened? Why had they lost their little one? Andy wondered, as she placed her hand on her now childless stomach. It had only been a week since Sam and her had been in bed fantasizing about the future they were about to embark on with their little one.

"There are a couple of things you need to know about your mom and dad kiddo, first of all; your mom and I we're awesome, so by extension so are you…"

"…what are you doing?" Andy asked putting the book aside she was reading looking at Sam who had his head perched on her little bump talking to their little one.

"Having a conversation with our little one is all…" Sam smiled back in full-dimple style, as Andy ran her fingers through his dark hair.

"…oh really?" Andy asked raising her eyebrows.

"…can't hurt readying him…" Sam started, but was cut off by his wife saying

"…or her…" Andy objected since it was still too early to know whether they were having a boy or a girl.

"…or her for their new life." Sam repeated with a smile before raising Andy's tank top a little to place a soft kiss on the bump.

"Sam…" Andy whimpered, as Sam let his lips linger on Andy's tantalizing skin a moment too long before he moved up her body placing kisses as he went before their lips crashed together, while Sam supported his weight on his forearms careful not to crush his pregnant wife.

"…I love you…" Sam whispered, as he gave her neck some attention, while Andy buried her fingers in his dark hair moaning

"…I love you too…"

The spray of the shower brought Andy back to reality, as the water hit her body. Everything seemed to hit her at that moment. What they'd had, what they'd lost and how they were ever going to get back to who they were again. The tears started without any warning, and suddenly Andy's entire body was wracked with sobs, as she slid down the shower wall until she was sitting on the floor; her knees bent and her arms clutching them.

Sam had heard the shower running, but was growing worried when after a while it wasn't turned off like Andy usually would do when shampooing her hair. Sam walked to the bathroom door, and gently tapped on the door not wanting to encroach on Andy's space. But when he heard small sobs escaping the room he didn't hesitate rushing into the room. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the steam coming from the shower he could make out Andy's form from behind the shower doors.

"Sweetheart…" Sam's heart bled, as he saw the woman he loved more than life itself sitting on the floor of the shower; her hands covering her eyes trying to relinquish the sobs escaping her throat. Sam moved slowly into the shower turning off the water squatting down in front of Andy placing his hands on top of Andy's removing them from her eyes making her look him in the eyes.

"…Sam…" Andy whimpered, as Sam helped her to her feet holding her in his arms, as he reached out for a towel, and wrapping her in it.

"…shh…I've got you…" Sam whispered bending down, placing one arm underneath Andy's knees, and supporting her back with his other arm before walking into their bedroom holding the woman he loved in his arms.

An hour later Andy was curled up against Sam on the bed – a blanket covering them both from the waist down. Sam was drawing circles with his fingers up and down Andy's arm in soothing motions, as Andy snuggled closer in her sleep needing to find her solace, and Sam was exactly that.