Someone Like You
I've heard that you settled down, that you found a girl, and you're married now…
Michael stared into the house, the rain hitting his black umbrella and pounding off it in measured "plops". The yellow artificial light held a warmth to it, as the family inside played around the Christmas tree. He stood inside, staring at his children with a smile lighting up his face as he pulled his lover close.
His lover. Castiel. Inky hair and cerulean eyes. The youngest. The adorable one, the sweetest one.. Michael's eyes were drawn to the platinum rings on their fingers. Wedding Rings. His heart jumped into his throat. He shut his eyes closed for a moment, just to stare at the family again.
So happy, so joyous…How many times had he hoped, prayed that he could be that way with him? Yet somehow, somehow he never got it. His brother did.
I've heard that your dreams came true,
He knew this was his wish, his silent dream that he always thought he would never know. But then it came true. Castiel came along, as well as all the hopes that he poured into their relationship. It was Dean's impossible fantasy to have this: A lover, children, Sammy bringing a salad for Christmas Dinner, while Bobby spiked his eggnog. Watching "The Grinch" and "It's a Wonderful Life" before having the children leave Santa Clause their cookies and head up to bed.
All those little things that Michael wished so desperately to have with Dean, yet never, ever, would get.
That she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Michael had wanted all that, but Castiel had things he didn't. Dean wanted someone to protect, not a protector. He wanted someone childish and naïve, yet still a soldier. Someone who would go to the ends of the earth for him, (and Michael would do that, had done that for him-Dean just thought it was for the wrong reasons.) and be held gently as Dean had another night terror.
Dean didn't want the soldier, the guardian. He didn't want the one who would take charge. He didn't want that, he never did. He just wanted someone to hold, someone to love…
Someone that wasn't Michael.
Old friend, why are you so shy? It ain't like to hold back or hide from the light…
Dean, Dean, how Michael wished he could call him friend. They were connected, intertwined in the string of fate, but never meant to be friends, not since childhood, at least.
He wondered if Castiel knew that Michael loved Dean. That he was standing in the rain in front of their house on Christmas Eve? Michael caught Dean staring out the window a few times, but never did Dean point him out to Castiel.
Never was he invited inside.
It was as though Dean was refusing to acknowledge his existence, his life, the truth, the light…
I hate to turn out of the blue, uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I hoped you'd see my face, and then you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over…
Times like these Michael wished never happened. Those times when the primal urge, the desire, the wish of seeing Dean was too much, too much for him to handle. The times when he would just show up and observe, watch him.
Then there were the moments (those stupid, reckless moments,) When he contemplated walking up to the door and ringing the bell. Castiel, of course, always the believer, would welcome Michael with open arms, and he would come into their family life for a few hours, and relish the fact he would make Dean so uncomfortable, remind him that Michael never moved on, Michael still loved him, Michael would never, ever, be over with loving Dean.
Never.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you…
Then those days he'd shake off the feeling, stare longingly for a few moments, and walked away. He'd assure himself that he'd find someone else, someone like Dean, but better. Someone who he'd hold, he'd love.
Another righteous man, another lover.
I wish nothing but the best for you two.
Somehow, somehow, Michael still didn't hate Castiel. He couldn't bring himself to. Not even after the fact that Dean chose Castiel over him, not even after Castiel and Dean got married, not even after the two had children.
He still couldn't help but wish them well, because it was Dean and his brother. The two who were so dear, so precious it wasn't even possible to hope one of them got harmed.
Don't forget me, I beg, I'll remember you said…
He guessed he could deal with Dean being gone, except for one thing. He couldn't stand Dean forgetting him. He couldn't stand the idea that after a while, he'll turn from being "Michael" into "One of Cas's Brothers" He'd never forget Dean. Never. Dean was too perfect to forget.
Even if he did forget, there still would be that nagging feeling, that nagging thought that he got every time that he was with someone, the feeling that something was wrong, that something was not right, that he was with something, someone, wrong, and that'd remind him. Remind him of Dean's face, and Dean's perfect, perfect soul…
Sometimes it lasts to love, but sometimes it hurts instead…Sometimes it lasts to love, but sometimes it hurts instead…
Michael knew that sometimes love worked out, (Look at Dean and Castiel…) but mostly it just burned, a slow, terrible burn that spread out so far until it has devoured all inside of him. At least, that was what it was for him. Always, always, always…It had never been different, even with his own father, he was never appreciated, never good enough. He was the "Good Son", but that wasn't enough to please his father, it was never enough…
You know how the time flies,
Dean knew how fast time went sometimes. One moment he's meeting Sammy at the library, the next he's finding the guy that "Gripped him tight and raised him from perdition", then again he finds out that the guy's name is "Castiel" of all things, and that angels are real. then suddenly he's marrying the weird guy named Castiel, now affectionately dubbed "Cas".
Only yesterday was the time of our lives…
Dean still remembered the first time he met Michael, how the guy was so calm, and collected. He met Michael before he met Cas, though not even he remembers now.
Michael as well as Dean remembers the first time they met, how he valiantly tried to remain calm before meeting Dean, (The Dean, the one they told him all about.) but on the inside he was reminding himself that his vessel needs oxygen. Michael also remembers the one time they kissed. Dean doesn't, but Michael does, and that's all that matters. Besides, Dean was drunk out of his mind the one time it happened. (The happiest moment in Michael's existence and the only other participant was drunk. Isn't that pleasant.)
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
They seemed to live constantly in eternal summer, growing up. Or at least, that's all Michael could remember. Everything other than that was just a footnote, barely worth mentioning. Michael first saw Dean in the summer.
That's all childhood was, really. A mass of blurred lollipops and root beers, strawberries and brothers. They were friends once, he remembered. The best, back when Dean was nine. They'd have sleepovers every night, read detective stories and camp outside. Nobody knew who he was, of course, nobody knew what he was, John just assumed he was an imaginary friend of Dean's.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days…
Then everything went wrong, when high school and middle school came, Dean forgot everything about Michael, his once-friend. Michael was pulled off to heaven, off to do who knows what, off to prepare for war and to keep everyone in line. No time to see Dean anymore, no time to even think of Dean anymore, and everything went wrong.
Then Sammy got into college, and everything fell. Oh, how Michael wanted to go to Dean, to tell him everything was fine, to tell him that he didn't have to live that life just because Sammy got to live a civilian one. To tell him that he could have everything he wanted with Michael.
But Michael never went to him then, and sometimes he wondered if that was his downfall, the great surprise of having both authority, and no time at all to do what he wished. The great surprise of responsibility over everyone…
The shock of losing a battle.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I hoped you'd see my face, and then you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over…
Then the apocalypse came along, and Michael finally showed up again, stupidly hoping that Dean would remember the little boy (Imaginary Friend…) from his childhood, after so many years…(21 years above, and 40 years in perdition…) It was stupid really, but 21 years was about 2 months for Michael. Then it still wasn't over with Dean. Then he was still a little boy's best friend, not a man's childhood fantasy. But that ended soon (Too soon, too soon,) and Lucifer was raised up from perdition by Dean's brother, and suddenly everything was in full swing. Michael didn't even realize that because of staying away he had lost the one that matters most…
Nevermind I'll find Someone like you…I wish nothing but the best for you, too.
Dean refused. He said no. And if that didn't hurt so terribly, so painfully, Michael didn't know anything at all. So he left. Found someone else. (Dean's half-brother was it? Adam?) He left Dean alone again, his fatal flaw. All he did was tend to Dean's wishes, but he couldn't help thinking if he had only persisted, if he had only tried a little harder, Dean might have remembered, and said yes.
He left, but he only had good intentions in mind. But nobody saw that anymore, did they? They only saw the dick that tried to make Dean his vessel. Never the creature inside. That's all they saw because they were too prejudiced to see that he hoped for nothing but the best for Dean, always the best for Dean.
Don't forget me, I begged, I'll remember you said sometimes it lasts to love, but sometimes it hurts instead…
Michael remembered the time Dean found out he loved him. How he told him no, he hated him, that sometimes a person actually likes you, and sometimes they hate you. How sometimes love is great, and sometimes it just hurts…He remembered how Dean never looked at him the same ever since that day, the few times Dean ever saw him again.
Sometimes it lasts to love but sometimes it hurts instead…
They only kissed once, a few days after Dean found out. Dean was more than a little drunk, and Michael looked more than a little like Cas in his particular vessel, and Michael showed up at just the wrong (Or best,)time. Dean kissed him, all warm lips and skin and father above this is what humanity is-before breaking away, noticing that he wasn't Cas, wasn't his friend (but not-yet lover, Cas wasn't his lover then, remember?) but instead Michael, the stupid, hopelessly in love with him angel who wanted to wear him. The revelation made him more sober, and he quietly told him that "Sometimes it lasts to love, Michael, and sometimes it hurts instead. The only kind you'd ever get from me is the painful kind, and we both know it."
-=OOO=-
Mary Winchester-Novak looked out the window, momentarily distracted from "The Grinch" playing on the television. She tugged on her father's sleeve. He still didn't turn. She huffed, and checked outside. Yep, the man with the umbrella was still there. She tugged a bit harder on her father's sleeve. "Daddy, who's that man out there?" She whispered.
Her father tensed for a moment, looking to see. "That's just someone that I used to know, Mary."
"Daddy, what's his name?" She asked.
"His name is Michael. He's your uncle."
"But Daddy, why doesn't' he come inside, like Uncle Sammy and Uncle Gabe? I see him there every Christmas."
Her father hesitated. "Because he was hurt a long time ago, sweetie, and if he come inside he'll just hurt even more."
Mary pouted her lips, confused. "So…He stays outside because the cold numbs the pain? But where did he get hurt?"
"It's something like that, Mare, but he's hurt in the heart."
"But Daddy, if he's anything like the Grinch, then if he comes inside his heart should get all better!" She exclaimed.
"Shh, mare, not so loud. Your brother and your papa are trying to watch the video." He chastised quietly.
"Okay Daddy," She stage whispered. "But still, why doesn't he come inside?"
"Well, Mare," He sighed, running a hand across his face. "You remember when your friend Tim hurt your feelings the other day when he said he didn't like your drawing?"
"Yeah." Mary sniffed, recalling the incident.
"Well he got his feelings hurt too,"
"His feelings were hurt by an awful boy too?" She sniffed softly.
Dean looked out the window to the man standing out in the rain. "Yeah."
AN: Okay, this is one of those things you get the idea for at like 7 at night, and continue working for 3 hours until you finally throw out the ending, and since I didn't think through whether or not it would be Human AU or not, there may be some inconsistencies though I have tried to find them all. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I know, I know, I should be updating my other fics, not writing random oneshots that probably won't even get reviews, but still…
Anyway, this is one of the amazing outlier couplings (Dean/Michael, that is) so I decided I would try to join you guys in the creation of it. Yayyy…So Ii made you a songfic. I hope you liked it.
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