Okay so this is my first wincest ^^ I rated it T because It'll probably get a bit more wincesty later on, but for now it's probably K- :P Tho, because it's incest should I put it up to an M 'cause some people have a problem with that?

Anyways thanks for reading, and uh, yeh, kinda wincest atm, more later, don't like don't read...

Did I leave anything out? If I did please tell me so I can fix it ^^.

Basically it's pretty much canon up till 'Heart' (Because I haven't seen past there) but I kinda know what happens so if I left out any monumental events I'm sorry, but I know ish what happens, so it might sorta follow that. Oh yeah... character death...T_T but not too bad! Honestly don't let it put you off like it puts me off :P...

Thank you for your time.

Dean waited outside the school gate for Sam, he couldn't remember the name of the school, and to be honest he didn't really care, this was the 3rd school in 6 months, so it didn't matter whatever the hell the name was, all that mattered was that he knew where it was, and he had enough time to get from whatever shitty public school he was at, to Sammy's so he could pick him up.

He stared in amazement as his 9 year old brother walked out surrounded by a group of kids, he'd only been there for like 3 weeks and he'd already made so many friends, John had had to have a full blown argument with Sam the first time he left a school because he wanted to stay in contact with...well everyone.

"So who do you want to marry when you grow up Penny?" A little rat faced kid asked a pretty little blonde girl, who blushed and looked over at Sam biting her lip. Dean inwardly sighed, why did his brother always get all the girls? It was ridiculous! Even at nine he was too-tall, had too-long hair and too-big eyes, yet all the little munchkins seemed to find him irresistible.

At thirteen Dean was packing some muscle, he was still taller than Sam, but not by that much, which was embarrassing considering the age difference, he held himself like a man already, and he never lost in fist fights. He was smarter than most people thought, even though he didn't give a crap about school. To a teenage girl he'd be somewhere between the cuteness of a kid (since he still had some puppy-fat on his face) and the hotness of an adult (since he was starting to get stubble, luckily a Winchester doesn't go through the awkwardness of wiry whiskers on their chins like most boys, and e had a six pack from the intense training he did.). His long pretty eyelashes and full-pouty lips added some femininity to his face, along with the cute dash of freckles across his nose, which he constantly had to smash people in the stomach for commenting on.

The kids were slowly ambling towards the gate, and it seemed none of them noticed Dean standing there.

"Uhmmm...I don't want to marry anyone, I wanna be the president!" the little blonde girl looked considerably proud of herself and Dean found himself thinking there was maybe hope for her yet, "What about you Sammy?" He froze a little at that word, but relaxed when he saw Sam scowl at her.

"It's Sam." He said it a little more aggressively than he maybe meant to, but he didn't really care. When Sam (finally) reached the gate he caught sight of Dean and instantly beamed, hooking his skinny arm through his brother's where Dean had it shoved in his leather jacket ( a 13th birthday present from their dad) pocket, and said, "When I grow up I'm going to marry Dean!" his smile didn't fade at all, and all the other kids just laughed and thought he was joking as they headed towards their parent's who were all now eying a rather red Dean suspiciously.

"Sammy!" Dean hissed. "We're [I]brothers, brothers[/I] don't get married!" He fought to control the burning across his face but failed miserably as they walked in the general direction of the motel they were staying at. Sam's smile dropped instantly into a frown as he stared at the ground, arm slack around his brother's.

"Oh."

'Great,' Dean thought, 'now he's upset, I swear if he does those puppy dog eyes again I'll scream! Stupid kid doesn't understand incest and nature...urgh I'll give him a 'talk' later... but for now ice-cream will have to do. What flavour does he like, Chocolate or Strawberry?'

They walked into the sweet shop near their motel and Dean bought them both an ice-cream, one strawberry and one chocolate. He held both out to Sam, who took the Strawberry one and started licking it.

They walked for a few more steps, both happily licking at their ice-creams until Sam said;

"Prefer chocolate..." and scowled at his pink ice-cream. Dean sighed and handed his over to Sam, taking the strawberry one, and giving his little brother the chocolate one. They both licked contently and when they got back to the motel they found their dad at the door with suitcases.

Dean rolled his eyes and Sam pulled a face, but when he said they were finished here and to get in the car, they had a case in Louisiana, they both just muttered 'yes sir' and got into their dad's beat up truck.

'Can't wait till I get my own car...' Dean thought to himself.

"Dean?" 9 year old Sammy asked, his pre-pubescent voice sounding deep and worried, Dean looked at him and nodded but it didn't seem to work. "Dean? Dean? Dean wake up!" little Sammy reached over and started shaking him, surprisingly strong for his age.

Suddenly everything was black and hazy, as some little blobs of light came into view. As he came to Dean realised he was on the floor of a shabby motel room somewhere near Las Vegas. He was 26 and little Sammy was now a not-so-little-6'4" 22 year-old. It had been months since he had first asked for Sam's help with things, and their relationship was still a little rough around the edges.

"Oh thank God for that Dean! You were on the floor practically having a fit! I thought I'd lost you!" Sam started half-sobbing-half-hugging Dean while he patted his little brother's back dumstruck.

The surroundings started to melt away, and soon they were lying on a motel bed while Sammy sobbed his little heart out about that lycanthrope he had to kill. Madison. Dean soothed his little brother, or attempted to anyway. Life was never fair to the kind. Sam knew he had done the right thing, they'd tried to sever the bloodline but that didn't work, and frankly Dean hadn't had much hope. He'd kept reminding Sam of all the people he could've saved, but it didn't really work. This was why Dean never let himself get attached to anyone. The only person he truly cared about was Sammy.

The scene faded and Dean was there, making the deal with the demon to save Sammy's life and sacrifice his own soul to hell. He knew at that moment that he couldn't keep living if Sam wasn't there, because he couldn't stop hunting, that was for sure, people needed saving, yet he just wouldn't be able to hunt alone anymore.

The last year they had together came as a blur, the emotional chick-flick moments Dean pretended to hate so much, the obvious guilt in Sam's eyes; no matter what Dean told him he blamed himself, the successful hunts, and the images that stood out the most in his mind were of Sam, smiling, happy, and sleeping, peaceful. Sam deserved peace.

In his dying moments Dean realised he was in love with his little brother, and that if the hounds of hell weren't here to drag him below, he sure as... hell... would be going there anyway.

The night his brother died, Sam had drunken himself to oblivion and back. He was sure that he'd pass out at the sleazy bar soon, but toxins weren't even on his side that day.

The next 4 months set out a pattern for him, go, find something to hunt, kill it without blinking, get as drunk as humanly possible and then if he hadn't passed out he'd go find someone to start a fight with.

Sam was lost basically. He knew it was his fault. He shouldn't have been so careless. Now his brother was dead, to save him. It was pretty obvious, especially when you put it blankly like that. Now he knew how his brother must've felt when their dad did the same for him. For the last year he had known it was coming, yet he'd still not adequately prepared himself for what had happened.

Even Jessica's death hadn't hit him so hard. 'That's 'cause you didn't love her' a bitter voice in Sam's head said as he slammed more alcohol down his already burning throat.

The bar was quiet, he had a stall to himself, which was what he preferred, he could talk to himself without anyone thinking he was coo-coo.

"Oh yeah?" He muttered.

'Yeah. We've had this conversation a million times Sam. Just accept it already!'

"Look even if you're right, which I'm not saying you are, why would it be worse, sure I figured she might die because of my visions, but still her death was such a shock, but I knew for a whole year Dean was gonna die, and even if it was my fault I should've logically prepared myself!"

It was a real good thing no one was around to watch an overly-drunken Sam talk angrily too himself as he couldn't stop himself from raising his voice.

'Right. Prepare yourself. Good one. You know why you were with Jess. You were running. You were even running when you had that thing with the werewolf. How many times have you tried to run and failed?'

"Shut up!"

'You know why you failed right? Because every time you look into those green eyes you can't help but-.'

"I said shut up! And I'm not going to ever look into his eyes again am I? It's all my fault so will you just leave me alone?!"

'Tetchy. Stop blaming yourself, would Dean want you to be wasting the life he gave you like this?'

"...No."

'Good now do everything your brother wants. He wants you to be happy remember. Now do it. Be happy, you can do it for him.'

"I'll never be happy without him." Sam muttered miserably to the voice in his head, all the anger gone from his voice.

'And why's that then?' The voice was half gentle, half mocking. They had had this conversation about 6 dozen times before.

"I-I...I love him. That's why. Are you happy now?"

'Eeep!' The sound in his head made a strangled sound as it seemed to register before Sam did the big heavy door opening out onto a blizzard.

He looked up at the figure who just entered, knew it couldn't be, but still called out "Dean!"

His heart fell into his stomach as the stranger turned and an unfamiliar face looked quizzically at him.

"Look hon, I think you've had a bit too much to drink, why don't you head on home now?" A pretty honey-blonde waitress came up to Sam, gently ushering him out of the bar.

He got outside the door, skin impervious to the cold heavy snow hitting it as he went to stand by the impala. He ran a shakey drunken hand down the bonnet, knowing Dean would kill him if he damaged his baby, then laughed bitterly at the thought.

Opening the rear doors and turning on the heating, Sam curled up in the backseat of the Impala, pulling one of Dean's overlarge shirts around him for *warmth*. 'Has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it smells like Dean, right Sammy?' the inner-voice came back to him quickly.

Sam fell asleep into the kind of hell that had plagued him since Dean died.

They'd be out happy somewhere, the cinema, the park, doing *normal* couple-y stuff, and suddenly there would be a big rush of people with mean evil faces, Sam would get pulled into the crowd and they started batting him between each other, like a bully circle at a heavy metal concert, but much worse. He'd catch Dean's face through the crowd and his heart would shatter; sometimes Dean would be laughing and joining in, and sometimes he would suddenly shout 'No, Take me! I won't fight back I promise, just let Sammy go!' The faces of the crowd would change, and they'd be everyone Dean had ever hurt, been in a fight with, exorcised, or slept with and not called. Sam didn't know how he remembered everyone, and he didn't know which hurt most, Dean joining in or Dean being ripped to shreds by the crowd. 'Well that's a lie.' The inner-voice interrupted his dream, 'You'd rather have him bully you than die!'

Every night he'd wake up in a cold sweat with a need to vomit, but he'd always keep the Impala pristine. Nothing, not even a speck of dust, was allowed to settle on Dean's baby for more than 3 seconds. If anyone dared touch it they'd find themselves on the floor quite quickly with a fountain for a nose.

TBC. Okay so what do you think? Too crappy? Too corny? Too badly-word? Too stoic? Suggestions? There will be another chapter by the way, but I'm realllll busy with mock exams so I dunno when I'll get it done.

Oh & if anyone does reply/review what does \o/ mean? Is it lol? *blushes like the fool she is*