Another great episode from the Arrow writers as per usual; but I would be lying if the turn of events with Ray and Felicity didn't sting a bit.
Here's a little Olicity drabble just to ease that bite. It's based on one specific scene where really Oliver's face tells it all and no words can compare. It's the one image that's keeping my resolve firm on Olicity. Because really…there are more things that that one look conveys that can overcome whatever bullshit gets thrown in their way.
"The second I looked at her, everything changed. The whole universe…changed. You were right." – John Diggle, 3x01
He never thought it was an option. It was never even a thought that lingered on his mind. Not then when he was the billionaire play boy and especially not now that he was a bow yielding vigilante.
But then without meaning to she came into his life and changed everything. It only took that one moment, hidden in the shadows where he first saw her at Queen Consolidated; that one moment where she just whisked into the room and started speaking to a photo of all things. There was just something about her, her openness and sheer transparency, something that he doesn't think he's ever encountered before, that struck him.
In the back of his head he registered the irony of not being able to avoid a damn little baby's bow.
Even after his celebrated return from the island he never forgot her. He would often visit the company, his head turning at every blonde who passed, but none of them her. He wondered if she was even still there and what happened to her. And then there was the amazement that he felt when Walter actually led him to her.
He remembered the surge of lust that came through him when he first saw her up close. She was not the type of girl that would flaunt their beauty with heavy make-up or revealing dresses. No. But at that first moment all he could focus on were dark red lips that were cradling a red pen. Of all the things to be jealous of, never in his life did Oliver Queen believe that he would ever be jealous of a pen.
But it was when those lips started moving that his attention reverted back to her fully…and he couldn't help but smile. But then he remembered that he had a job to do. A job that would not go hand in hand with the thoughts that passed through his head. So he pushed it all in. The warmth, the happiness, the lust, the urge…everyday he tried.
But now looking at the dim room in front of him, with Felicity's eyes so soft and loving and amazed, to John and Lyla's tired but beaming faces all gazing adoringly at this small figure, stirred something deep inside him that he often tried to quell.
Hope.
Hope that maybe one day the roles would be reversed and it would be Diggle that was congratulating him and that it would be him that's choking with happiness. That he would be able to bask in the awe of making something so pure and innocent, untouched by the harsh realities that he had to face every day. That it would be him who would be bursting with joy and love and adoration. That it would be him and Felicity sharing that moment together.
Together with their child.
A small being that's part him and part Felicity; a little boy or girl with Felicity's bright blue eyes and possibly his hair, so small and warm with miniscule fingers that would unwittingly wrap around his fingers and hold on tight.
Someone that will forever be a monument to his and Felicity's love for each other; one that he will love unconditionally and promise to protect with his life.
But then flashes of Felicity on the medic table in the Arrow Cave rushed into his head. The crushing feeling of fear and horror in his chest from seeing her hurt; knowing that it was simply her proximity to him that put her in the line of fire came back full force. He felt his chest tightening, his breathing becoming uneven as the guilt for not being able to protect her forced its way into his consciousness.
No. He wouldn't put her in harm's way again. He couldn't. He didn't think he would survive it if anything bad were to happen to Felicity. And if that means that he has to stay away from her then so be it. Anything to keep her safe.
Anything for her.
But then he walked in and then those soft blue eyes turned to him and he felt his resolve waver.
Maybe one day. There's nothing wrong with hoping.
No words I write will be able to come close to that look.
Holding on to hope.