Author's notes: This just came into my head when I rewatched GGS01. I remember why I shipped CB right from the start. They were so amusing to watch when they were bickering back in S01. Their games back in S02 were just simply heartbreaking. T~T So I decided to amuse myself by thinking up of CB bickering playfully (although seriously) as a couple. Enjoy~!
This one-shot collection is dedicated to guardian izz (I haven't forgotten my promise. I'll deliver the story you requested in your review of CWYDf. XD It's in Ch09). I'm still on hold for launching a drama Chair fic. X_x I'm still hesitant to pursue a direction. When I've got it all down, maybe I'll work on the titles I've consulted with you. ^__________^
Chuck Fumes and Blair Flares
Summary:
A collection of one-shots depicting Chuck and Blair arguing, when their fireworks turn to bombs and missiles. However, the butterflies, still going strong it seems, always manage to survive, unscathed, through the crossfire. ~mostly CB sprinkled with NJBC bonding~
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Ch01: Of Blood and Bicycles
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"Chuck?" Nate called out confusedly as he approached his best friend, who had called him early that morning requesting (more like, ordering) him to go to Central Park that morning without so much as giving the reason.
"What took you so long?" Nate overlooked the irate tone in Chuck's sentence (really, he had no right to be pissed; it's not like a booty call which you have to respond ASAP).
Nate shook his head, as if racking his brain for an epiphany. "What are you doing?"
Chuck huffed in exasperation. "What does it look like? I need your help."
Nate blinked, clearly befuddled, because he was looking at Chuck Bass standing next to a bicycle. "I don't know how to fix a bike."
Chuck rolled his eyes. "It's working properly."
A pause. "... Is that a gift for me?"
"No."
The abrupt letdown dowsed Nate's spirits a bit. The bike looked really cool. He would've loved to go and try cycling in place of jogging.
Chuck cleared his throat. "Repair is not what I need your... assistance for."
At this, Nate's eyebrows raised. "Then what for?"
Chuck took a deep breath, setting his features into a proud expression, knowing that he needed to maintain dignity. "You have to teach me how to ride a bike."
Again, the blonde was dumbstruck at the request (it was sounding more and more like a command to him). "Uhhh..." The blonde frowned in confusion, the meaning not having been fully absorbed by his comprehension yet. "What?"
"Choose your pick, Nathaniel: deaf or dumb?" Chuck scoffed, but the burning red in his cheeks wasn't from the cold autumn wind. "I said you have to teach me how to ride a bicycle. You can ride one, can't you?"
"Uhh..." If Nate had been in his right mind, he would've been offended. But the surrealism of the situation was making him feel like he was in a sitcom episode. "I can ride a bike." He blinked owlishly at his best friend. "Can't you?"
That was a stupid question.
Chuck rolled his eyes in annoyance and indignation. He gritted his teeth and threw his leg over to the other side of the bike, settling himself in position.
"Let's not make this any harder than it is for both of us, Nathaniel. If you can teach me how to ride this goddamn bicycle, I'll give you a pass from those unsanitary dorms and let you live in a penthouse in my new hotel, free of any effing charge."
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"Shit!" Chuck cursed as he almost toppled to the side.
Chuck's face and neck were red, but whether they were from embarrassment, frustration, excessive sun exposure or a mix of all three, it couldn't be distinguished, but the former two were definitely working up Chuck's nerves.
As for Nate, well, he all but noticed the passersby curiously looking or ogling, some giggling and some just staring in disbelief at the sight of two young men, one teaching the other how to ride a bike. Chuck for his part never really did care enough about the multitude (especially if he thought them below him and not worth his time and attention), as his efforts and willpower were all focused on getting the hang of riding a bicycle by the end of the day so he could gloat to his girlfriend during dinner later, and he would challenge her to go bicycle riding with him tomorrow in Central Park. She was the only one he had something to prove to, all others be damned.
Chuck gritted his teeth as he managed to pedal (albeit wobbly) some distance before the balance of the bicycle teetered to the side, forcing Chuck to place his foot down on the ground. Nate sighed, letting Chuck adjust his position once again. The blonde grabbed on the underside of the seat and on one of the handlebars as he prepared to guide his best friend again.
Perhaps it was the embarrassment or the snickering strangers passing by and pointing to them that suddenly compelled Nate to blurt out, "How can you not know how to ride a bicycle?"
That made Chuck pause. Nate at this point was still oblivious of the impact of his seemingly offhand statement.
"Well, Nathaniel, I didn't really have my father up and about to teach me how to ride a bicycle!" Chuck spat as he forced his legs to pedal while maintaining balance. Obviously, Nate's carelessly thrown remark had hit a deeply sore spot. "Unlike the captain who invested in your learning of bike riding, Bart couldn't care less to think of buying me one himself, much less take precious time away from work to teach me how to ride one."
Nate stopped, and the guilt formed almost immediately as well as shame. Of course Chuck hadn't been taught how to ride a bike by Bart when he was little. Heck, all Nate could remember about the man during their joint childhood was his absence.
There was a momentary silence as they remained stationary. "Look," Chuck began, his eyes downcast on the pedals, "You don't have to do this. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. I'm sure you have better things to do. You can go if you want. I think I can take it from here."
"No, no, I'm sorry man," Nate was now contrite at how his best friend, who rarely relied on him for anything, offered him a way out, and Nate now felt obligated to help out his best friend. "It's just, I'm not used to being the mentor here. You've always been the one to steer me or guide me in something. I guess I'm still adjusting to the reversal of roles."
Nate cleared his throat, a change in atmosphere and a strengthening of resolution. "All right, let's try again."
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"Oh my effing god," Blair stood up from her position in the couch where she was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's with Serena, who also stood up from where she was sitting on the floor.
"Woah," Serena's eyes bugged out at the two newcomers. Chuck and Nate just entered Chuck's penthouse. Nate had Chuck's arm over his shoulder as the blonde's other arm was around Chuck's waist, supporting him as he limped due to his bloody knee. He also had scrapes on his elbow and chin.
"Chuck!" Blair immediately rushed to them. "Serena, get some bandages and antiseptic, you can request room service. Nate, get Chuck on the bed."
The two blondes took to Blair's orders. Serena went to acquire the materials while Nate led Chuck to his bedroom.
"Dammit, Nathaniel, be more careful!" Blair admonished Nate as Chuck grunted in pain when Nate settled him on his bed.
"Now talk. What happened?" In a no-nonsense tone, Blair started her interrogation, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised as she eyed them. The two men looked at each other; they recognized the stance and voice of General Waldorf demanding an explanation, even if she had to pry it from them by pinching their ears. Chuck shook his head at Nate to prompt the blonde to silence, but Nate was the weak chink, and he caved, divulging to Blair their activity for that afternoon. He knew he would be the only one to get the pinching extraction seeing as Chuck was injured and Blair wouldn't dare to aggravate his state of pain.
"Chuckwantedto... learnhowtorideabike... andhefell." The words were said so quickly that Blair didn't catch all, but Blair had a gist of the idea.
Blair's eyes narrowed in suspicion as she eyed Nate.
"He asked me to teach him so I did! But he was stubborn and wanted to go down a road when I told him not to because he wasn't ready yet!" Nate spluttered in defense. "I told him it's impossible to get the hang of it in just one day, that it takes time, but he won't listen because, as he said, he's "Chuck Bass"!"
"Nathaniel!" Chuck hissed, his face red with embarrassment and irritation, "Shut that mouth!"
"I see." Blair nodded, seemingly contemplative, finally getting the message as she fully turned to face Nate.
"So it's your fault Chuck's all bloody and scraped!"
Nate's mouth hung open at the accusation. Blair hit him on his arm. "How could you be so careless and irresponsible, Nathaniel?!" She hit him again on his arm, causing Nate to wince upon the sting on his skin.
"How is any of this my fault?!" Nate felt like a kicked puppy, like the bullied kid during recess. "If it weren't for you mentioning Lord Marcus and biking, he would've have gotten the idea!"
Blair hit him on his arm again. "That is beside the point!" she seethed between gritted teeth, not letting her thoughts go down that ugly, ugly road. And she would use Nate as a scapegoat to avoid the guilt. As long as she had someone else to point the finger to.
Serena then entered with a first-aid kit. "Okay, I got it."
"Finally!" Blair snapped at the newcomer and snatched the small box from Serena's arms. "What the hell took you so long?" Blair hurried to the bedside and took out the gauze and cotton balls. "Chuck could've bled to death while you wasted precious time to flirt with the bellboy from Brooklyn!"
Serena frowned. "Hey! That was uncalled for!" She didn't know where Blair's attack came from. She didn't even take notice of the help!
"Oh, shut it, Serena." Blair's tone made it clear that she would not be hearing any protest nor dismissing complaint. "If you are not making yourself useful, go over there!"
Serena wisely chose to succumb (though still greatly displeased with Blair's earlier comment) to silence as she walked to where her blonde counterpart stood.
For some reason, today was just not Nate's day, as his mouth did not seem to have a censor of his thoughts. Once again, he had to voice out a thought that was better left unspoken. "Jeez, are you on your period or something? 'Cause you're way grouchier than this situation calls for."
Blair mouth opened in shock as she was propelled to her feet immediately, and in a blink, Nate suddenly found her in front of him and drawing her hand back to slap him. Her palm landed smack on his cheek and Nate winced as his head was turned to the other side.
"How dare you mention such a private female affair! You should know better, Nathaniel!" Blair screeched as she directed a hit on his upper arm this time, then turned on her heels to go back to tend to her injured boyfriend.
Nate's hand caressed his stinging cheek, and he looked about ready to cry. Serena didn't know whether to comfort him because of the hurt, puppy dog look on him or to laugh because the expression was so off (and adorable) with his manly features.
"What did I ever do to you?" The pouting expression Nate sported as he rubbed his reddening cheek made Serena want to pet his head. "Why do you have to get so violent when I mention it? Chuck mentioned it before and you didn't go Amazon on him." Nate was clearly stating his displeasure at the inequality of treatment between him and Chuck.
"Obviously, you never made the effort to buy her feminine napkins, Nathaniel." Chuck interjected as an explanation, Blair glaring at her boyfriend who was off the hook for now as she took out the needed supplies from the first aid kit. "You've never gone through the struggle of having to scour an aisle of feminine products and end up buying all brands and all types because it's too complex to find the right one she needs."
Serena's eyebrows raised as her mouth hung open in hilarity. "Chuck Bass buying napkins?" She expelled a disbelieving but amused laugh. "Did you really get him to do that, Blair?"
Blair was smirking now, smug with pride at recalling the particular incident, because that was one triumph she would always hold as a worthy trophy. Plus, was it wrong for her to think of how romantic it was that Chuck went out of his way to go and buy out the whole aisle of feminine products in his concern for her wellbeing? The memory never failed to unfurl the butterfly wings of her heart.
Blair sighed for effect, though it sounded dreamy. "I may have compelled him to action previously." The tightening of Blair's lips as she tried to hold back the erupting smile (unsuccessfully) told them she was not divulging any more information of said event. Chuck was grateful, as he was in an embarrassing enough situation that he didn't need more recall of other silly (though his more chivalrous) exploits for the love of a certain Waldorf at this particular moment.
But despite the embarrassing context, Chuck wasn't able to ignore the only light in this unexpected and highly unwelcome turn of events: the attention and care being directed to him by his beloved girlfriend. So he did like being babied by her from time to time, but he'll never admit that.
There was only silence as Chuck laid back in the bed, Blair worked on his wounds, Serena stood back to observe, and Nate sulked next to her.
"Guess we'll just stick to basketball and pool," Chuck commented as he fought not to flinch away at the sting when Blair applied antiseptic to his bloody knee.
"Agreed." Nate acquiesced with his best friend, whose face was scrunching as Blair tended (as gently as she could) to his knee's wound.