SUMMARY:
Throughout my fourteen hundred years, I never questioned myself or my purpose. I never even questioned my ability to love someone with all my heart. Sure, I loved Demetri, Heidi, and others, they were like my family. But love for a mate? Never. Out of sight, out of mind. That all changed one fateful day. My entire world crashed and burned, like the work of the Angel of Death, terrible and beautiful.
A/N: Hey guys, I'm back with a new one. I have NOT forgotten 'Family Pieces', I'm just reorganizing a couple chapters before I publish them.
A few things you should be aware of:
This IS a Bella/Felix fic. I don't want nor need reviews telling me how you don't want that pairing. If you hate it or not willing to be open-minded and give if a shot, don't read it.
Felix is pretty OOC since you don't see this side of him in the books, I'm going off what might have happened if he didn't know about Edward at first and wasn't really looking to kill someone (like in Volterra). Bella's vaguely OCC too in the thoughts about the relationship, but I will explain what she's thinking. Also, their thought are a loose version of one of my relationships. So please don't be too harsh.
My Felix talks a lot and isn't too introspective like Bella, so he does have a lot of lengthy conversations with those he's close to. I do not write him this way because I'm lazy or whatever you probably think. He rarely thinks something he won't say or do (similar to Emmett), so he's quite talkative. It will prove an interesting mix with Bella.
Yes, I snagged a few lines from the book because I liked them and wanted to use them in a different context, except for the direct quotes in chapter one.
It starts in the middle of New Moon, and the wolf pack isn't quite as active, staying mainly to their lands and a couple runs outside that. Also it's in Felix's POV.
Enjoy!
The Ghost Of Circumstances Beyond My Control
Vital Signs
The usual band of the guard, consisting of myself, Jane, Alec and Demetri, had been sent to Dallas, Texas. I honestly thought this was a complete waste of time. Demetri agreed, but he was the tracker so he didn't have much of a say in the matter, and neither did I. I was quite possibly the best fighter on the planet and my sheer presence tended to frighten people enough to comply quickly. My main job though was protecting Jane. Demetri protected Alec, and the twins protected us all. The four of us were nearly unstoppable.
Rumors flew that the Southerners were getting feisty again, but nothing too noticeable had happened yet. We were simply sent as a warning. I couldn't complain too much, I loved to fight and the odds were that someone would make a stupid move and force our hand. It's just that Jane could be terrifying even to us when she was deployed on a dead-end mission, and that still unnerved me even after centuries.
In the end, nothing happened. The Southerners in this area were much more cautious than they had been before and actually banded together to take out the coven that the rumors stemmed from. They feared us, as they should.
"What should we do now?" Demetri asked, obviously wanting to get back to Heidi as soon as possible. It was no secret they were completely head over heels in love with each other. I didn't understand it, but I assumed it was one of those things you had to experience it to get.
"There is talk from humans of giant bears in Washington. Caius wants us to go investigate and ensure the bears are not something more sinister," Jane replied from the other room of the hotel. She sounded utterly bored, and she was. We all were.
I hated that Caius sent us on these hunting missions. He was beyond paranoid of werewolves. These little side trips rarely amounted to anything, and if they did, it was some vampire not being careful enough.
By the next morning, we landed in Seattle, obtained a car and booked a hotel, same as always.
We searched all the way to the Oregon border, but never found any werewolf trail or other vampires. There were a bunch of dog scents, but what else did I expect in the wilds of America?
I was running through the forest, to meet up with Alec when I caught two scents I wasn't expecting. A human was here, but this was a long way from any trail. I thought about having a snack when I picked up the other scent, another vampire I'd met over two hundred years ago, Laurent. Damn him if he got to the human before I did, but I thought he already probably had.
Just in case, I followed the human scent. Venom welled in my mouth as it grew stronger, it was one of the most appealing aromas I had ever come across. I wasn't going to miss out if I could.
The forest began to brighten in the distance as the scent filled my head and I could hear a heartbeat and Laurent talking ahead.
I decided to run around to the left to get a better view of what the situation was. I rather Laurent not notice me at first, we weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination.
"I'm surprised any of them can keep it up for long. Sometimes I cheat." I overheard him talking to someone, obviously the human. This sounded like an amusing conversation at the least. I crept closer, still out of sight.
"Oh, Jasper has problems with that, too." Her voice froze me where I stood. It was so sweet, so innocent, and dripping with a hint of fear, but also some sort of odd apathy. Why did he have to play with her like that? I at least tried to keep it short and sweet.
"Really? Is that why they left?" he sounded intrigued.
A strange thought occurred to me, although I didn't know why. This girl knew about vampires. How much, I wasn't sure, but enough to be able to talk fairly causally when faced with one. Either that or her sense of self-preservation was almost non-existent, she should have bolted by now.
I peered around the tree to get a look at this bizarre girl before he finally took her.
I was stunned. She was beautiful, her brown hair flowing down her back, nearly flawless skin, and her eyes. My God, her eyes were mesmerizing. Her warm chocolate eyes were filled with terror.
Something inside me snapped. I simply could not allow Laurent to have her. She didn't deserve death. She was much too beautiful and precious for that. I had to protect her from this fiend.
What in God's name am I thinking? She's a human! A mere mortal!
"I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…I swear you'd be thanking me for this."
The way he leered at her broke my train of thought cold. I couldn't stand it anymore and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.
Without warning, I lunged and brought him to the ground. It was over in seconds, he was no match for me, too fast and too strong.
I looked at the girl, even more terrified now. She smelled delicious, but I couldn't kill her, not yet, not until I figured out why I felt this odd compulsion to protect her.
"Are you alright?" I asked, making my voice as calm and nonthreatening as I could manage.
She nodded, never taking her eyes off me. She finally took a step back.
"I won't hurt you, not like this bastard," I said as I tossed a match onto his dismembered corpse.
She still didn't say anything. I wished she would relax, but I realized she knew I was more than capable of killing her too.
"What's your name?" I hoped changing the subject might help her relax or at least catch her off guard enough to actually answer. I felt the strange urge to put a name to this pretty face.
"B-Bella," she breathed. Too bad she was still terrified.
"Bella, I will not hurt you. Okay? Relax. I'm Felix," I murmured, I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I couldn't find the reason as to why and it was driving me insane.
"D-Did the Cullens send you?" Her voice was a little louder, but still no more than a whisper.
The Cullens. She knew them? That explained why she knew of vampires and perhaps her lack of instincts. Was it possible she was comfortable around us? I knew Gianna was, but she was an odd woman.
"Um...no, not really. But, like I said, I'm not going to hurt you. Do they protect you?" It was the only answer I could think of and I was genuinely interested in the answer. If they were protecting her, it would be wise not to stick around for another second. I knew their coven was large and I could not fight them all if they showed up.
"They did, he did," she gasped and grabbed her chest, like she was trying not to fall apart.
Without thinking, I rushed to her side and placed my hand on her face. What was I doing? She didn't jump away and that confused me. This girl, this woman, Bella, was beyond confounding.
I quickly made a mental list of what I what learned in the past few minutes: She was beautiful, had a severe lack of instincts, was at one time protected by the Cullens, smelled delightful, and seemed to be in a lot of pain emotionally. I was baffled and couldn't make any sense of it.
"So, this Victoria is hunting you?" Although I was occupied trying to solve this riddle, I had picked up that much from her little chat with Laurent.
And what was that about Edward? I assumed he was one of the Cullens. But why would he avenge her like that? Was she in a relationship with him? If that was true, it cleared up a lot of questions, but raised one huge problem, I was angry that he held a claim on her. What was going on with me today? Was I jealous? I can't be jealous, she's just a human!
She only nodded.
Now I was enraged. I would not stand aside and let her be hunted by this Victoria bitch. But that also meant I couldn't leave her, at least until this issue was taken care of.
Perhaps I could get Demetri to find her, but I wouldn't have a good reason and Aro would be furious if we killed an immortal without cause. Caius couldn't care less, but Aro was the one to worry about. Besides, no one would agree to protect a human.
All I could do is stay in this God forsaken area and hoped Victoria showed up. From the way Laurent was talking, it sounded like that was a sure bet. Our kind does get obsessive about revenge, especially when mates are involved.
Wait a second. She couldn't be this Edward's mate. That's impossible.
That thought just proved it. I was jealous. I had utterly lost my mind. More than that, I had taken my mind and hurled it off the planet.
Bella was still holding herself, almost clawing at her sides. Her eyes were so full of pain, I couldn't bear to look at them anymore. I finally reached the conclusion that made sense out of her reaction, he had left her and she still loved him. I hated him for doing this to her, to a fragile human, to someone as precious as Bella.
Yep, I've officially gone insane.
I gently scooped her up, taking care to move at human pace to avoid scaring her more so. It was like someone else was controlling me. I never touched anyone like this, immortal or not. Even my thirst seemed to be someone else's problem, and I was never one to pass up a meal.
I thought she might be going into shock or something since she didn't protest. I gathered from her little talk with Laurent that she wasn't one to just accept something, especially if she didn't want it. And this would be something she wouldn't want if she still loved that other guy, which it was glaringly apparent she did. But a small part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe she did want me to hold her, even if it was just for comfort.
I began to walk quickly through the forest, following her trail back north where she started from. I could at least make sure she got home safely.
She never did relax, but eventually her breathing became more even.
We emerged through the trees onto a road with a old red truck parked on the side. I assumed it was hers.
"Is that your truck?" I asked, hoping she would be able to drive. She didn't look in any shape to be behind the wheel, not that I blamed her. She was almost killed by one vampire and rescued by another. That couldn't be simple for a human mind to cope with.
"Yes. Thank you," she whispered as she tried to shift her body out of my arms. I set her down gently by the back of the truck.
I had to stifle a chuckled when she nearly tripped over her own feet. It was adorable to watch this beautiful brave girl be so uncoordinated. I wondered if she was always this clumsy or if it was a by-product of the situation.
She tripped again and couldn't stop herself from falling. I quickly grabbed her waist and pulled her upright. She just looked at me sheepishly, not a smile, but still with a hint of gratitude.
"Perhaps I should drive. You've been through quite a lot already, and cheated death once today. I don't think a car wreck would help that," I suggested. I gave her a wink and flashed a smile, careful not to make my smile too big.
She fished around in her pocket for a moment and handed me the key. Could she really be that trusting? I ignored that question and concentrated on my mission of getting her home in one piece. Then I would deal with the rest, including the fact she knew of us and consequences of that later.
Thankfully, she was still aware enough to tell me where to go and that her truck couldn't go faster than sixty. That was particularly annoying, I could walk quicker than that. The speed that irritated me to no end didn't seem to bother her. Maybe it was a vampire thing.
The drive dragged on and Bella was lost in her own thoughts. At least it gave me a chance to think. There was so much wrong here that it took me a few minutes to even figure out where to begin. I finally settled on a list of questions and answers, hoping by the time I ran through the list I would have some clarity.
Why did I stop in the first place? That was a simple one, although the answer became more bizarre as I thought about it. I caught her scent and she smelled absolutely mouthwatering. I can't even think of drinking her now. What the hell is wrong with me?
Why did I stop Laurent? Because he was about to kill her, the evil bastard.
And why for fuck's sake do I even give a damn about her? The jealousy, the protectiveness, everything. I just don't understand it.
I quickly realized I was not going to make any progress by over thinking this whole insane predicament I found myself in. I would just go with it until I killed Victoria and be on my way. I could do that much for her. Why did I want to do anything for her? All I cared about was the Volturi, to hell with the rest of the world. But she was different.
She pointed out her house and I pulled the truck in next to the curb, relieved the drive was over.
I debated on whether to get a hotel or just stay around here, but that was quickly settled as soon I looked into her eyes. I couldn't leave her here defenseless. Even if I got a hotel room, there was no guarantee Victoria wouldn't slip past me, considering the only place to stay was on the other side of town. It looked like I would be camping for a few days.
She hesitated, like she wanted to say something, but didn't know how. I had a feeling about what it was, but it was so far outside the realm of reality, I didn't entertain the notion.
"Um...Felix?" she muttered, sounding so embarrassed I couldn't help but crack a smile.
"Yes?"
"Do you want to come in or something?" I was floored. The impossibility of her actually wanted me here was beyond anything I could imagine. I froze in shock, wide-eyed with a corner of my lips still in a grin.
"Sorry, I know you probably don't. It's just been a hard day. Well, hard doesn't cover it. But I could use someone with me, and I really don't have anyone," she whispered, staring at the ground.
How could this enthralling girl not have anyone to turn to? I knew the whole secret world of ours was probably a big part, but didn't she have a friend she could call just to be with her? From what she said, it didn't seem like it.
"Of course Bella." I was surprised at how amazing it was to say her name. "I'll stay with you." The words came out before I realized what I was saying. I didn't have one shred of understanding and I quit trying. It was so incredibly useless.
My entire world was officially upside-down. I didn't care and honestly had no desire to right it. All that mattered was she needed somebody, and that somebody was me.
Bella led the way into the small two-story house, pausing only for a moment to unlock the door. She turned slightly and took my hand, guiding me up the stairs and into what I assumed was her bedroom. She sat on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest as she kicked her shoes off.
I stood half way between the bed and a rocking chair in the corner. I wasn't sure what to do, if I should sit by her or not. I figured the hell with it, this had not only passed the point of reason but left it a thousand miles behind, and situated myself next to her.
It really must have looked comical with both of us on the bed. She looked so small next to me. I was easily two feet taller and three times as wide. It's a wonder the bed frame didn't break under us, although it groaned in protest.
I smelled the unmistakable scent of salt water, and immediately put my arm around her. It almost physically hurt to see her cry. It was a knee-jerk reaction, although it didn't surprise me. I didn't think I could have been surprised at this point.
Eventually, she leaned into me. That was unexpected, no human, not even Gianna was so open to contact with our kind. It went against every instinct and every law of nature. This girl was the most bizarre creature I had ever met and I had seen a lot in my fourteen hundred years.
Bella sighed and slipped further down my side. I got a bit anxious, not knowing what she was doing. Then I noticed her eyes were closed and her breathing was even. Was she asleep?
Right then and there, I learned to never underestimate Bella's ability to surprise me. Tolerating our presence was one thing, but feeling comfortable enough to fall asleep was another altogether.
I didn't want to move and wake her up, so I tried to sort through everything that had happen and make some kind of order of it all. It would probably be a futile attempt, but I was so lost in this madness I would never surface on my own.
I compared the way I reacted to her to other immortals I knew and came up empty. No one bothered to get this close and not kill or turn them. Eleazar nearly killed Carmen before he was able to stop and allow the change. Even when Demetri found Heidi, he had turned her within minutes, and he loved her from the first moment he saw her.
Then it slowly dawned on me. Searching for more answers, I looked more closely at Demetri and Heidi, how all he wanted was to be home with her again, the worried look in her eyes when he would be sent to take care of a situation.
No. It can't be. Not a human. Although that might explain my urge to kill that Victoria and why I can restrain myself enough to sit by her. Could I possibly be in love with her?
I tended to be rational, and that by no means was logical in any sense of the word. I was always more of a flirt, never taking it beyond words and winks. There never was any true feeling behind it. I never envied those with mates until this moment.
'Dibs,' I muttered darkly to myself, at least acknowledging the fact that I quite possibly did love her. But that meant only one thing, and I would be more than happy to oblige. I would have to change her and soon. I couldn't just do it without telling her, though the damage had already been done. I wouldn't let her suffer the confusion of Heidi and Carmen.
I begin to think out a plan to stage her death and take her back to Volterra.
She stirred, snapping me out of my reverie. Grabbing at my chest, she sat up and looked up at me with a mix of emotion in her eyes, ranging from pacified fear, to gratefulness, to comfort.
Comfort? In the presence of an immortal? I remembered I had told myself to quit thinking about her odd reactions. I would never understand them and it was useless to try.
"Felix, you're still here?" Bella whispered, rubbing her eyes.
"Rise and shine, beautiful," I replied effortlessly and gave her my trademark wink. I thought just maybe I could get used to this whole love thing.
A/N: There's chapter one. I'll post chapter 2 sometime later today or tomorrow, once I read over it again and add my author's notes. I do know Felix has thought about the same things, mainly about being all confused and whatnot. It's mainly him trying to come to terms with Bella, and there is a reason for it. Also, don't scoff at Bella's reaction, there is a reason for that too, and it'll be explained in a few chapters. Most of this is already written or outlined, but leave me suggestions regardless. I do like reviews and they make my day :)
-Amanda