Reparation
(AN: The title may yet change, as may some of the content. This is just a short story i wrote over the past couple of days, to make up for the lack of work on my Vesperia fic. I haven't forgotten about it; i intend to add in a few more chapters but am just severely blocked at the moment on that subject. It's coming, guys, i promise you; just very very slowly.
Please be aware that i have not played ToA, due to living in England where it was not released. As soon as i can get hold of a cracked/US ps2 and a copy of the game i intend to, but until then all i have seen is a subbed version of the anime, so apologies in advance if the characters seem awefully butchered and OOC. This is an Asch/Natalia fic, created from my current Asch obsession.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing I tell you! NOTHING!)
Six Weeks Previously
Pain.
The only thing he could remember was the overwhelming pain. A searing white hotness that pierced his abdomen before spreading through his body like wildfire, before giving way to the merciful, peaceful darkness.
The darkness that heralded the approach of death.
And yet.. His consciousness still remained, through the darkness. He had felt himself breathe his final breath, felt the life flow out of him and into the form of his replica; the one who had unknowingly stolen his life seven years ago. He had known that he was, in essence, dying, before the battle; the hyper resonance between himself and 'Luke' at the replica's creation tearing him apart from within. He knew that he would soon cease to exist regardless; yet still he found himself able to cling to some form of existence. But.. How? His entire life had been taken away from him. His reason for being non existent, his life force fading away both fononically and literally as he felt the last vestiges of humanity bleed out of him.. How was he able to keep on living, despite that?
..Was this the power of Lorelei? To force him to go on living, regardless of the lack of cause? Regardless of the lack of reason? Was it really their intention to torture him so, to extend his suffering beyond this life?
There were.. Sounds. The sounds of movement, around him. Of quiet chatter, of the bleeping of machinery that had gone previously unnoticed. This was.. No longer Eldrant. No longer was he in the presence of Lorelei. No longer was he.. Anywhere he recognised.
The last he could recall was the feeling of falling as the remnants of life bled out of him following his battle with the soldiers, staining the pale stone around him a deep crimson shade; closely matching the colour of his hair. The fonic remains of his soul had slipped away, filling the heart of his replica. And then.. Strong hands had caught him, holding him securely and tightly as a bright light swirled around him. The light had given way to the impenetrable darkness that now surrounded him. Luke had survived, he knew; given another chance by the power of Lorelei. He had though this to be the end of him.
"I'm counting on you." Those had been his final words before oblivion had claimed him. Looks like you came through afterall, drek," he mused briefly as the sounds around him became louder, clearer.
Emerald green eyes opened, confused, and the darkness lifted to the brightness of the white, sterile ceiling. The light of the room was startling, forcing the eyes, so accustomed to darkness, to squint; blinking a little as he tried to focus, to look around the room.
A hospital room. He was in a hospital. But.. How was that possible? Had he not given away his life to save that of his replica? The very same who had stolen his life beforehand? This.. Did not make sense. Bracing his arms against the bed on either side, Asch pulled himself into a seated position; gritting his teeth and wincing at the effort. Damn.. The fight must have taken it out of me.
His senses were clouded, foggy, as though waking up from a deep slumber. His usual sharpness replaced by the mist, it took a moment before the redhead finally noticed the startled nurse that had rushed to his bedside at his movement, although not before alerting the doctors to his awakened state.
Pushing her surprise away, the girl smiled comfortingly at him as she checked the various instruments Asch was hooked up to. "Good to see you are finally awake," she told him, bustling around him as she began various tests much to his annoyance. "It's not very often that coma patients wake up so suddenly, especially the long term ones," she began, before her eyes widened, hands flying to her mouth as she realised her error. Glancing over at the young man before her, she hoped against hope that he was too incoherent to hear her just yet, let alone process her words.
Asch's expression, however, made her fears become reality. Oh, he had heard alright. Wide, uncomprehending green eyes bore into hers, demanding answers. "How.." he began, his voice low and husky; almost non-existent. Forcibly clearing his throat in annoyance at himself, the redhead tried again. "How long..?" he managed, frowning in dismay at the weak, pathetic sounding voice that made it's way into the open. The nurse poured a glass of water from a jug by the bedside, and he took it gratefully, gulping down the liquid without hesitation. His throat felt as rough as gravel and as dry as sand, as though he had spent a week in the desert without water. The nurse glanced nervously towards the door, wishing that the doctor would hurry and relieve her of her duty. "I.. I can't really tell you. Your doctor.." she began, before emerald eyes locked on hers with a glare.
"How long?" he repeated, his voice louder this time, and to his hidden delight, a great deal more forceful. A part of him was afraid of the answer. What if.. What if he had been out for several years? A decade? What if…
He shook his head. No, imagining was useless. He needed to know. And he needed to know now. So much of his life had been stolen from him already; he needed to know just how much more he had lost. "How long was I comatose for?" he pressed the poor, unwitting woman, his gaze boring into hers, emerald granite clashing with a blue ocean.
"I.. I.." she began, taking a step back as she glanced towards the door, wishing once more that her superior would arrive. Who would have thought somebody so.. Vulnerable looking in his sleep could be so.. Forceful? Glancing back, she bit her lip before looking at the ground. "Three years," she murmured quietly. "You were found unconscious and brought here three years ago."
The steel in Asch's emerald gaze faded away to shock as he blinked at the nurse, his complexion paling to an unhealthy gray. Three years..? It wasn't quite so long as he had feared, but still.. Three years of his life spent within a swirling abyss of blackness…
The half empty glass slipped from his fingers, clattering upon the ground as it's contents spilled across the tiles. He could feel the blood pounding in his ears as his heart rate went into overdrive, making the monotone bleep of the machine beside him increase to a worrying pace. The last thing Asch was aware of was the bustle of the doctors around him as the darkness reclaimed his mind.
~o~o~
In darkness let me dwell; the ground shall sorrow be, The roof despair, to bar all cheerful light from me; The walls of marble black, that moist'ned still shall weep; My music, hellish jarring sounds, to banish friendly sleep. Thus, wedded to my woes, and bedded in my tomb, O let me dying live, till death doth come, till death doth come. In darkness let me dwell
~In Darkness Let Me Dwell, by Sting.
~o~o~
Present Day
They say that time heals all wounds. For some people, of course, this may be true; emotions dull over time, memories become distant, wounds begin to heal. But of course, the scars never disappear; the marks remain forever visible, a constant reminder of the past. Emotional scars may be impossible for the naked eye to see, but they remain all the more present; all the more raw and painful.
Despite all scars, however, acceptance comes to all eventually. For some things easier than others, Asch silently mused as he found himself wandering around his 'home' town of Baticul, looking around yet barely seeing the world around him. He had come here following his release from the hospital, not entirely sure of his motives. The town was comfortingly familiar, yet at the same time completely alien to the young man; filled with raw memories of a past no longer his own. He had forsaken his life as Luke Fon Fabre the moment he had chosen to defend the other who carried his face; the moment his life had bled out of him as a result. No, he was no longer the person he once had been; he was now and forever Asch - remnant of the sacred flame.
He should not have come here; should not have returned to the town that was once his home. As far as people knew, Asch the Bloody died on Eldrant, which was precisely how he wished it to remain. And so, the young man had embarked upon a mission of re-personalisation upon his release from the hospital so far away - using fon technology to transform his characteristic blood-crimson hair with ebony black, his black and red God-General uniform replaced with the casual dark clothing of a common village boy. To all who saw him, Asch blended in with his surroundings; unremarkable and average. Only his features remained the same; a constant reminder of his hidden past.
Asch's thoughts moved back to the present as he found his way to the 'upper class' section of the city; the high-end stores lining the streets on either side. He listened idly to the chatter of the nobles around him, noting with a hint of curiosity that the most spoken of issue at the moment appeared to be the impending marriage of somebody of status. Passing by a store, he idly glanced across the street, and the sight that he beheld stopped him in his tracks, his heart skipping a beat as his blood ran cold.
There arm in arm with a man who could be (and indeed was in a sense) his twin, stood his former betrothed; Princess Natalia. She glowed before his eyes, a radiant beauty of exquisiteness, her bright smile lighting up his world. Asch could not help but to stare at the girl's graceful allure, spellbound. The couple smiled happily, thanking a passerby who stopped to congratulate the two upon their impending marriage. And then, her gaze fell upon him, her expression changing from it's carefree state to frozen shock, a wondrous amazement. Could it be…?
And then, he was gone, hidden around the corner, among the shadows of a dark alleyway as he silently cursed himself for his lapse of sanity. How could he have been stupid enough to let her see him? Why had he come here…? He was supposed to be starting a new life, letting go of the past, and instead here he was, walking the streets he knew so well from the past, revealing himself to the people of his former life. He knew that Natalia was gone from his life forever; she was to marry his replica; to marry Luke. And there was nothing a long-dead shadow of the past such as himself could do about it.
Just one more thing that Luke had stolen from him.
Asch flattened himself against the wall, barely daring to breathe as the sound of heels clattering on stone stopped, right at the entrance to the alley way. From the shadows, he watched her confused countenance as she looked this way and that, searching for the figure she was sure she had seen from the window. He felt his heart constrict painfully at her bewildered, and somewhat sad expression, but before long the princess turned and headed back towards her bewildered fiancé.
Letting out his breath in one large gust, Asch knew that this.. This was the last straw. He had to get away from here; go somewhere new, start his life afresh. Living in the past was too raw, too painful for anybody to do. And so, the young man set off out of the city. He knew not where he was going, only that he had to leave.
The only way forward for a dead man was to start a new life.
~o~o~
Natalia could not deny that this day, this bright, peaceful day, was the first day that she could admit that she was truly enjoying, for the first time in over three years. The city of Baticul was always such a lively place in the summer days, and today was no exception. It was, infact, a perfect day to get out amongst her people. And, of course, it was a perfect day to take her 'fiancé' with her.
Natalia could not say that she truly loved Luke; no, infact, her heart belonged as it always had, to someone else. To the real Luke. The one who had lost his life of luxury a decade ago, and then lost his life on Eldarant three years ago. Although this Luke shared his original's face, he was far from the same person.
No, this was not a marriage of love; it was a marriage of convenience. A fulfilment of a promise made so many years ago.
Natalia knew also that the feeling was mutual. Luke, afterall, was in love with Mystearica Grants, and she with him. The princess could not help but to feel a sharp stab of jealousy however; at least Luke's love was still alive. He could still see her whenever he so chose, spend time with her, speak with her.. She would never again be close to Asch, feel his touch, hear his voice.. Rather she would be tortured forever by the one so similar to her lost love, yet oh so different.
And so it was that the announced betrothed couple headed into the noble's market, arm in arm, looking for all the world a loving young couple, bubbling with excitement of their impending marriage. Frequently they were approached by well-wishers, blessing them with luck for their upcoming marriage. She smiled, and she thanked them, but Natalia could not help the gnawing feeling within her gut that the union was more of a prison sentence than a wedding.
It was not that she felt that Luke would be a bad husband; far from it in fact. She felt trapped into marrying into a convenient relationship; Luke was more of a little brother within her heart, and she knew that it was how it would stay. She could not help but to feel that this union was somehow betraying Asch; betraying his memory. Betraying her true love.
As her mind wandered, so did her gaze; across the crowd, crossing over face after face, settling on none in particular. That was, until it passed over rather familiar face in particular. Her grip unintentionally tightening upon Luke's arm as her eyes widened, her deep olive gaze bouncing back to the features, so similar and yet so different to the man on her arm.
Frozen to the spot in shock, her confused gaze met his for a moment that seemed to last an eternity, paying no heed to Luke's concerned questioning. She felt her heart beat faster, her olive eyes lost within his stormy emerald depths, the overflow of emotions within them pulling her deeper in.
And then, he was gone. Melted away into the crowds. Her brow furrowing, she scanned the area once, twice, and set off in hot pursuit. She couldn't let him get away; she just.. She couldn't!
The delicately tapered heels of her boots clattered across the pavement as she ran toward the direction that he must have gone, desperately scanning the people around her. He has to be here… don't leave me again, Asch… Reaching the entrance to an alleyway between two stores, the princess paused, glancing wildly around but unable to spot the now raven-haired young man hiding within. "Asch.." she murmured sadly to herself, her large eyes filled with sorrow at her inability to catch up with her lost love. It had been him.. It had to be… But wherever he had gone, trying to follow was a lost cause, she knew. Afterall, he was quite the expert at not being found when he so wished.
And so, the Princess balefully gave up the ghost, heading back to her rather worried looking fiancé, desperately trying to bury her dejectedness beneath a carefree smile that did not quite reach her eyes. Wherever you are Asch, I will find you.
~o~o~
My heart would turn to run, But even when I'm gone, Don't ever give up on me. I'm tryin deep within, If you could hold my hand, Don't ever give up on me. This war I'm fightin havoc, It turns me inside out, and I don't know if you'd love me If you saw me right now. Would you? Would you follow if I turned my back? Could you love me through this broken glass? I know I'm not who I was or where I need to be, But don't ever give up on me. Don't ever give up on me.
~Don't Ever Give Up On Me, by Kelly Clarkson.
~o~o~
The journey across the Inista Marsh was a long, tiring and dangerous one, but thankfully, with the aid of a few holy bottles to keep the bulk of the monsters at bay, Asch made it through relatively unscathed, soon after finding himself at Port Belkend where he intended to rest for the night.
Truthfully, Asch was not completely sure where he was going; he just knew that he had to get away. His close encounter with his former - and if he was true to himself current - object of his affections had left the young man somewhat shaken, left him feeling the need to get as far away from Baticul as possible. He was trying to start a new life, he really was; and this was not helping.
Entering the Port's inn, he approached the counter to check himself in, but found himself hesitating as it came to signing the book. Afterall, he had reinvented himself, began to search for a new life… Asch the Bloody was dead to this world, and so he could hardly go by that name any more, could he? It was ironic, really, that he had in all essence become three different people in the space of two decades.. His first ten years of life as Luke fon Fabre, ten more as Asch the bloody, and now..
Aidan. One with the Flame. He could think of nothing more suitable to replace the remnant of the sacred flame, and so it shall be that which he will become. Accepting his room key, the former-redhead wordlessly exited into the privacy the rented room provided; his own small sanctuary for the night ahead.
Natalia knew that people were worried about her. Ever since her outburst in the market and her confession to seeing someone long since dead, they worried. Infact, the only person who seemed to take her claims seriously enough to do something about it was Guy, who quietly promised her to look into the matter.
And so it had been unanimously decided for her that the princess could use a change of scenery, much to her own private annoyance. There was, afterall, to be a Noble's Ball at the cathedral in Daath, and it would be fitting for a princess to attend; or so they said. Preparations were made, and before Natalia could protest or comment she found herself upon a ship bound for the city.
Despite the beautiful day, the sea breeze blowing through her hair as she stood upon the bow of the ship staring out onto the ocean, Natalia found herself unable to enjoy the experience as the vessel set sail for it's destination. The only thing that filled her mind was the thoughts of the individual who's gaze she had caught in the market that day. She had let her imagination run away with her, they said. Asch was dead, no matter which way they looked at it. But.. Luke had survived, so was it not possible…? But the original and his replica had some kind of connection, did they not? Surely if Asch had survived then Luke would have felt something.. Anything…?
Biting her lip, Natalia shook her head firmly. No; it was Asch she saw. It had to have been. And she would track him down, no matter what the cost.
~o~o~
A small detour, it seemed, was in order; supplies for the party needed to be retrieved from Port Belkend, and so the order was given for the port to be their overnight stop. Luke had decided to stay aboard the ship; he had not slept too well that night, it seemed, for reasons unknown to either of them. Dressing herself in the clothing of a Noble, Natalia reasoned that it would not do for the Princess to be walking around a port town. But she could not help but to be curious; Port Belkend was rather a great deal different to her home city. Despite her insistance that she could handle herself well, the ship's captain ensured that Natalia was well guarded, much to her chagrin. Well, she thought, grimly. I shall just have to await my chance to slip away.
The chance she awaited was not long in coming. As they approached the front of a port tavern, a group of rather rowdy drunks blustered out, one tripping into one of her guards. The others, of course, were rather quick to follow in the resulting brawl. Slipping off into a dark alleyway nearby, Natalia found herself confronted by a group of rather dangerous looking individuals.
The hoodlum leader approached Natalia, backing her against the wall with a triumphant leer. A pretty young noble wandering into his territory like that; who could believe his luck? "Well well; lookie what we got us here, boys. A cute little piece of meat like this will fetch us a pretty penny, don't you think?" he drawled, raising a hand to grab her chin.
Natalia slapped away his hand, her frightened eyes narrowing. "Don't you dare touch me," she hissed, scanning the area to find a way to escape. The gang leader's leer turned into a smirk. "A feisty one, eh? Well I'll just have to rip that right out of you, won't I girlie?" he sniggered, pressing her tightly against the wall with his body, pinning her hands above her head as his other hand moved to tear open her shirt.
Less than half of the buttons were open, however, when the sounds of movement behind them drew the gang leader's attention. Turning his head, he had less than a moment to note with shock that his 'friends' had been taken out; strewn around the dirty, dark floor in several states of unconscious. And then, he found himself being wrenched away from his victim and the wall with considerable force. The last thing he remembered was the pain of his head slamming into the wall opposite.
Natalia watched the proceedings, wide eyed with shock, unsure as to what was happening. She had found herself almost paralysed with fear, unable to move as the man crushed her against the wall, his intentions clear. And then he was being wrenched away by a figure in a dark cloak, who had obviously already taken out the rest of the gang within moments.
The paralysis gave way to shock and relief, and Natalia found herself stumbling forward as tears began to roll down her face. The cloaked figure stepped forth to aid her as she fell, and she landed into his arms, a feeling of warmth and safety filling her body. This man.. Had likely just saved her life. Natalia whispered out a quiet "thank you" as she felt her consciousness fading.
~o~o~
By the next morning, Asch had resolved to stay within the port town until he had fully decided on a plan of action. Moving around from place to place until he had decided what he would do with his life would not help anything, he knew.. Better to stay put whilst he considered his options.
Donning a cloak of a deep purple shade, the young man exited the inn, deciding that a walk around the town for some fresh air would help to clear his mind. His night had been restless, filled with dreams of seeing Natalia's sweet countenance once more. He had been so set upon starting anew, forgetting his old life until he had seen her in the market that day, but now.. Now he wanted nothing more than to go back, to be with the beholder of his heart. But that was impossible, was it not? She had moved on with her life. She was marrying Luke. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. His old life belonged to another now, and no degree of wishing could change that fact.
Passing down a side street, the young man could not help but notice the young noble girl slipping into a dark alleyway to escape the brawl that broke out in the streets. Silently, he cursed. Obviously, this girl was not used to Port towns; otherwise she would know the kinds of people that lurk within those dark, seedy side streets. Silently crossing the street, he followed her into the darkness. Catching up with the girl, he realised that he was too late; he had to save her from these people. Nobody deserved the kind of treatment she were about to receive. Thankfully, they were just basic, run of the mill hoodlums, it seemed, with little training in the art of combat. Stealthily, the trained swordsman took out the gang within mere seconds, before turning to focus on the leader who seemed so intent on his molestation of the poor, terrified girl that he had not noticed the vigilante's approach.
The leader was dispatched swiftly, leaving Asch alone with the frightened girl. The dark of the alleyway combined with the shadows from his cloak's hood made it rather difficult for him to make out the details of the girl's face, but he moved swiftly forward as she stumbled, reaching out his arms to catch her safely. She peered up a little, trying to make out his shaded face as she muttered out her thanks, but at this close distance, Asch found her much easier to recognise, and what he saw left him frozen in shock. "Natalia.." he whispered as she passed out in his arms.
He knew that he had to get her to safety. Thankfully, the inn was not far from there. Scooping her up in his arms, Asch gently carried the girl back to his room, skilfully avoiding being seen along the way. As he lay the unconscious girl down upon the bed, Asch frowned, pondering the situation.
He had to get away from here. There was no way that he could stay there, not now. Not with the risk of being seen. But as his gaze travelled over Natalia's sleeping form, he knew that he could not leave her there alone like that; looking so sweet and fragile as she slept. She was.. Too beautiful for words to describe, dirt and torn clothing from her ordeal and all. Whenever the thought of what could have happened had he not been there crossed his mind… dammit, what was Luke thinking, letting her go off on her own like that?
His fists clenched unconsciously at his sides as his anger rose. Why did his past seem so intent to haunt him like this? Had his crimes in life been so great that the fates loved to watch him suffer? He could not leave her here alone, he knew that. No matter how hard he tried, he cared too much for her to do that. But he could not let her know that he was alive. She did not deserve to be dragged into the mess that was his life; it was better for everyone if they believed him dead.
And so stay he did, cloaked and hooded. He could not let her know who he was, he knew that, but he could still watch over her until she awoke. He owed her that much. Watching her sleep, Asch could not help but to be entranced by her beauty. Her beautiful features, her long lashes, her delicate lips, slightly parted as she slept.. Without realising what he was doing, Asch reached forth a hand, gently stroking Natalia's cheek with his long, elegant fingers. She stirred, her eyes beginning to flutter open, breaking the spell she her beauty held over him. He moved to the window as her olive eyes took in her surroundings bewilderedly, before the occurances of the evening rushed back to her.
Sitting up rapidly, she found herself backing up to the corner of the bed, taking in the room as the cloaked figure moved to the window, staring out. "You're safe here. But you should go back to your ship immediately. And never leave without an escort again. The world is a dangerous place for one such as yourself," he told her, his back to her as he watched the world beyond the window, his voice neutral, void of all emotion.
Natalia pulled herself to her feet, wobbly though her legs were, skirting around the bed to where her saviour stood. Shrouded within the darkness of the cloak, Natalia found herself disappointed that she could not distinguish his features beneath the shadows of the hood. But she could not help but to feel a sense of.. familiarity around him. As though it were somebody she knew. Somebody she felt safe around. "Do… don't I know you?" she asked cautiously, reaching out to place a hand upon his shoulder. Asch stiffened at the words, his breath catching a little in his throat at the touch, all words and thoughts vanishing from his mind for a long moment at the contact.
The moment stretched out in silence, until he was able to formulate coherent words within his mind as a response. "We've never met," he replied, his tone clipped, his shadowed eyes trained upon the world beyond the window.
There was something within his reaction that told her that they knew each other, despite his words, but something in his tone told her that it would be dangerous to persue the matter. "Thank you for saving me," she changed the subject, moving herself in front of him as she hoped that the late sun would shed light upon his features. Although his eyes still shrouded in shadow, the light fell upon the lower half of his face, revealing the pale complexion, the lip he was biting down hard upon, the almost delicate pointed nose.. All bringing forth more familiarity. He tilted his head, looking away to the side, and a lock of dark hair, the colour of moonlight fell across his face. Her eyes widened a little in revelation as her mind put two and two together. But it can't be him.. Can it? "You were in the market yesterday, were you not? In Baticul?" she enquired. She had to be careful about this if she did not wish to scare the man away.
Turning away from her suddenly, Asch strode into the room, picking up a short jacket that lay at the foot of the bed. "Your friends are searching for you. You should go and let him know that you are okay," he responded, before wincing a little at his slip. Why did being around her make it so hard for him to think straight? He had to get her away. She needed to leave, and soon - before she realised who he was.
Placing the jacket in his hands around her shoulders both to ensure she did not get cold and to cover the immodesty of her torn shirt, Asch steered Natalia towards the door, his strong hands guiding her by the shoulders. Natalia felt the panic rising within her. This man could be the link she needed to find out if Asch is alive.. Could be the one person who can prove that her hopes are not false, and yet he was pushing her away; she can't leave without at least knowing.. She just can not. "Wait, please.. There are things I need to ask you. Questions I need answering," she began, only to find herself being cut off mid sentence.
"You're better off not knowing," he responded curtly, his tone firm, final.
Turning around in his hands, she gazed desperately up into the darkness of his hood, searching for something; anything that would give her the answers that she seeks. Settling her gaze upon the dark outline beneath the hood, she gave a defeated sigh. He would not break, it seemed. Whomsoever this person was, he will not reveal Asch's fate. Not to her. Not right now. Still, she would not let him go; not when she finally had found the link she was looking for. Not completely. "Can I at least ask my rescuer his name?" she asked softly as he pulled open the door, the light of the hallway flooding inside.
Standing with his back to her, she was unable to see the pain upon his face. He knew.. He had known from the start, that she would not let him go easily. Especially not after the glimmer of recognition that had sparked through her eyes as he had turned. It was obvious that she did not realise who he was, but she had thought of him as a connection to his previous life, and she would not let go of it willingly.
If he did not leave now, he knew that there would be no more hiding from her. The crippling pain that mounted within his chest had nothing to do with the effect of being replicated, but everything to do with being human as he turned his back to her at the door. Her final question gave him pause. He could not leave her without an answer to such a simple request, could he?
"Aidan," he responded simply, not turning, not moving. Just standing there, half way out of the door, his back to her. "My name is Aidan."
And then, he was gone; swiftly vanishing beyond the dim light of the corridor.
"Aidan," she breathed to herself. That name.. something about it tugged in the back of her most dearest memories.. If only she could remember what it was…
Her feet moved of their own accord, heading out of the inn and into the street below. A cool evening breeze blew around her, and she absently tugged the jacket closer around her shoulders, breathing in the familiar scent that lay about it as she headed back to the boat.
Natalia knew that she had worried people with her impromptu disappearing act, and even more so with her bedraggled appearance following her return, but if she was honest with herself, she could not bring herself to feel guilty in the slightest. Afterall, despite her rather terrifying ordeal, she felt that she had at least gotten a little closer to finding Asch. This.. Aidan. He had to know Asch's whereabouts. He had to be a friend of his… she just knew it. Absently, she tugged a little at the jacket around her shoulders, the feel of the material making her blink a little, double taking. This jacket… now that she was in the light, it was.. Familiar. In fact, she recalled it well. This was a jacket that Asch himself had worn, on one of their rare times together. The feel of the fabric, the colours, the pattern, the scent.. There was no doubt in her mind; it was his.
Snapping back to reality, Natalia tried to focus in on Luke's words, finding herself unable to latch onto his words as she tried to re-visualise her new 'friend.' Something was very familiar about that man.. Too familiar. And she vowed that she would discover who he was, and in the process discover the truth about the man she loved. All she needed was another way to get his attention…
~o~o~
I live to hide my wicked truth, I don't suppose you know. I've hidden behind these fridged eyes, They filter what I know. It burdens me I'm never free, And peace I'll never know. I feel inside where nothing lies, And nothing left to show. So save me; I don't know, know myself, And I've been On this isle alone, what's beyond it? It goes down below the man I know, That lives inside of me. I live inside this blackened mind, And sun is what I see. I've found at last my cruel past, It's found the end in me. I'll reach inside just one more time, For the man I'll never be.
~Save Me, by Alter Bridge.
~o~o~
The next morning, the ship prepared to set sail for Daath Bay. Despite his resolve to move on from the town, find somewhere to disappear for a while, Asch could not help but to head out to the dock, to covertly see Natalia off on her journey to Daath, as he had learned from the overly talkative crewmen in the port bar that night. And so, donning his now almost trademark cloak, the young man set out, mingling with the workers and passers by at the water's edge.
As she stood on the bow looking out across the port whilst awaiting the completion of the preparations to leave, Natalia found her eyes scanning the crowds upon the docks, her eyes bouncing from face to face, earnestly searching for one face in particular. Her heart skipped a beat as she spotted the familiar deep plumb cloak near the dockside, and leaned further over the safety railing, her feet resting upon the bars in an attempt to see him better. Craning forwards, Natalia's expression turned to one of horror as she felt herself slipping on the wet metal, pitching forwards into the murky depths below with a scream.
Asch watched in horror as Natalia fell from the ship towards the churning waters, her petite features contorted in shock and fear, hitting the water's surface with a splash. Without a second thought, the former swordsman jumped over the edge of the dock, an extra splash joining the ripples of the first where he entered the dark waters after her. For a long panicked moment he searched below the surface of the water, unable to see the young Princess before a flash of yellow caught his eye. Diving deeper, the former general reached out, a tenuous grip upon the drowning princess' clothing, before wrapping an arm tightly around her waist.
Resurfacing, the raven-haired man pulled Natalia onto the dock, barely having chance to pull himself out of the water before he lost consciousness. "Not again, not now…" he growled weakly as the darkness claimed him.
Natalia's eyes fluttered open, finding a pair of concerned emerald eyes hovering over her. Her heart leaped for a short moment as her sight cleared, her spirits falling as she realised that the eyes in question belonged only to Luke.
"You had us worried there for a moment," he gave her a relieved smile, helping her to sit up a little better. "If it had not been for.." he trailed off suddenly, looking away as he searched for the right words to say. The man who had rescued her, possibly at the cost of his own life… he had known that Asch was alive, really. Well, not so much known as felt. He and his original had always had a kind of spiritual connection; able to share thoughts and feelings through the power of Lorelei, but since the fall of Eldrant the connection had been weak, almost non-existant, driving the young replica to believe his original gone for good. But over the past few days there had been telltale signs; flashes of pain, confusion, despair… Dreams and memories not his own kept him awake at nights. And then Natalia's outburst the day of the market had sealed things in his mind. Asch was alive, no matter how much Luke refused to admit it to his fiancee. It wouldn't do to get her hopes up; especially now that the former god-general's condition was so dire.
Natalia and her savior had been taken directly to the ship's infirmary as soon as they had resurfaced, the prognosis on the princess being that she would be perfectly fine, if a little shaken, once she awakened. Her rescuer however.. According to the ship's doctor he had a deep onset of exhaustion and weakness, as well as being severely underweight. The moment that Luke approached the bed, he knew right away the identity of it's occupant; despite the raven black hair. It was Asch; there was no doubt about it. Whilst Luke was overjoyed that his original had survived, he could not help but to wonder what this could mean for the future. Natalia loved Asch; always had since they were children, and Luke knew through their fonic connection that Asch had always felt the same way. He was pretty sure that nobody would mind calling off the wedding for favour of Natalia and Asch's relationship, but then where would that leave him?
Luke shook his head a little, embarrassed at himself. He was being selfish; the two had been deprived of each other's company for over a decade because of his mere existence, they deserved time together. Although, none of this mattered if the doctor's fears were confirmed.. He believed that due to Asch's condition, there was a possibility the swordsman may not recover.
Glancing into Natalia's questioning gaze, Luke was not sure he could bring himself to tell her.. Yet wouldn't hiding this information just harm their friendship in the long run? Natalia was no delicate flower, despite people's views of her; she could handle it, he decided. And if it turned out that she could not.. Well, that's what he was there for, right? To support her. That was what friends did, afterall.
Sitting down in the chair beside her and taking her hand in his, Luke took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. "Natalia.." he began. "The person who saved you was.. It was Asch. He's alive."
Watching her face light up as the revelation dawned upon her, olive eyes sparkling, Luke knew that he had done the right thing by telling her. A life that had been somewhat lacking in her demeanour for the past three years seemed to miraculously return, transforming her into the vibrant, lively girl she once had been. "He's.. I knew he was alive! I just.. I knew it!" she gasped, pulling Luke into a tight, happy hug as a smile broke out across the princess' face. Pulling back after a long moment, she regarded her friend with wide eyes. "Oh, but I have to see him!" she exclaimed, pulling herself to the edge of the bed. Luke made to protest, but Natalia gave him a stubborn look, and he knew that she would not take no for an answer. And so, he led the princess to the room that held her lost love, pausing outside of the door. Spinning around to face her, Luke regarded his friend with an uncharacteristic seriousness that gave her pause for thought.
"Natalia, before we go in, there's something you need to know. The doctors.. They say that he's.. well, he's in a pretty bad way. There's a chance that he may not recover," he told her, his tone quiet, soothing. Watching her eyes fill with tears as a hand flew to her mouth, Luke could not help but to feel some degree of guilt, mixed with a strong sense of sympathy. To finally be reunited with the one you love after such a long separation just to discover that you could lose them again.. Well, he knew how he would feel if something were to happen to Tear. Pulling her into a gentle hug, he soothingly rubbed the princess' back. "Whatever happens, we'll be here for you. You know that," he murmured in her ear.
Natalia slipped willingly into the embrace, allowing a few stray tears fall down her face as she contemplated the situation. Nodding a little as she pulled back, she wiped her eyes, offering her friend a smile. "I.. I would like to see him now, if that is alright," she murmured quietly, entering the room as Luke opened the door. Deciding to give the two a little privacy, the young replica stayed where he was outside of the door.
~o~o~
Natalia cautiously approached the bed, a little unsure of what she would find. Luke had, afterall, said that Asch was in a bad way, had he not? The first thing she noticed was the flowing mane of midnight black hair, spread about the pillow beneath his head, causing her to raise a hand to her mouth in shock. So.. The cloaked figure had been Asch all along? The one who saved her life.. Who introduced himself as Aidan.. That had been Asch…
Once her gaze settled upon his face, any trace of doubt within her mind vanished. His complexion was ghostly pale, his features slightly drawn, dark circles around his eyes from exhaustion, but these facts aside he had not changed an inch since she had last seen him, prior to his supposed-fatal battle upon Eldarant. She had grieved for him then, but had never given up the hope of seeing him again some day. And when Luke had returned the previous year, her hopes and wishes had intensified, dreaming of the day that they would be reunited. Never had a single of those dreams been like this.
Reaching out a delicate hand to gently stroke his cheek, Natalia could not help but to let the tears flow, allowing the joy of finding him alive at long last mingle with the fear and apprehension of losing him again as her heart constricted painfully in her chest.
Reaching down with her free hand, she clasped one of his own, tenderly intertwining their fingers as she gave his hand a little squeeze. "I love you, Asch. Please don't leave me again," she whispered.
~o~o~
The journey to Daath Bay was a lengthy one, the coach trip from there to the city of it's namesake seeming to go on forever, but what appeared to Natalia be a lifetime after leaving Baticul, they finally arrived, the night before the Noble's Ball. Rooms had been prepared for the Princess and her companions within the Cathedral, their belongings delivered to the correct locations, but truth be told Natalia was in no mood for celebration. Usually she loved such occasions as this; a perfect opportunity to be out amongst her people, seeing them enjoy themselves, but right now she wanted nothing more than to spend every waking minute by Asch's side.
His condition had improved a little during the journey and having been filled in on the details stored within the medical records the doctors had accessed of the occurences since his lifeless form had been discovered three years previously, Natalia knew just how suddenly he had previously awoken; she wished to be there when he did.
But she took her duties as the Princess of Kimlasca very seriously, if nothing else, and eventually left the infirmary to prepare for the ball, gently leaning forth to brush her lips upon Asch's forehead as she did so. Slipping out of the door, Natalia found herself rather surprised as Luke slipped in, promising to keep an eye on Asch for her. She couldn't help but to frown a little at the slight glint within Luke's eye, but nevertheless moved on; there was work to be done. Up to something he may be, but Luke would never do anything to harm Asch.. Would he?
And so the evening progressed, the young princess attending the ball looking as beautiful and vibrant as ever, calling upon her lifelong training to smile despite the preoccupation of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, her mind would not leave Asch for a moment, worrying about his condition. She could not help but to wonder as to why Luke seemed so content to forgo the ball in exchange for watching over his original, but she suspected that it was for her benefit.
Snapping her mind back to reality, Natalia tried to focus on the conversation the nobles around her had 'involved' her in, her back to the door as she focussed her mind, attempting to listen intently to the words. So engrossed in listening was she that she failed to notice the sudden hush within the room, allowing the echo of boots to slowly approach across the polished marble floor.
The gaudy waltz of the music slowed to a much more balladial pace; Natalia's favourite song. As all eyes turned to look over the Princess' shoulder, she could not help but to slowly turn, her breath catching in her throat at the figure before her. "Asch," she gasped happily.
The young man, dressed in nobilic finery befitting of his previous status, stood before her looking pale, yet healthy. His once dark hair had returned to it's signature deep crimson by the same process that had disguised it previously, and was immaculately styled in it's previous fashion. He looked for all the world the very same man who had 'died' all those years ago as he smiled at her; a lopsided smirk as he held out his hand. "I don't suppose the Princess would mind if I asked her to dance?" he asked quietly as she took his outstretched hand, following him out onto the dance floor wide eyed and dumbstruck. Upon the dance floor, he pulled her gently to him, moving with a grace and ease befitting of one born noble. "Is this a dream?" she murmured, looking up into his deep emerald eyes as he gazed down into hers, a light blush upon the former god-general's cheeks.
"Does this feel like a dream to you?" he quietly asked in return, lowering his head to hers, their lips meeting gently, both of their hearts skipping a beat at the contact. The kiss seemed to last an eternity as the world slowed down around the young lovers, but eventually the need for air drove them to part. Asch pulled Natalia closer, resting his cheek against hers, his mouth beside her ear as he uttered the words he had never said, and yet always longed to. "I love you too, Natalia."
From his place concealed in the doorway, Luke watched the proceedings with a grin. He had, of course, planned for this to happen. He had known that Asch was regaining consciousness, and not quite so worse for wear as had been predicted. This much he could tell through their connection. It had not been difficult to supply his original with an outfit for the ball; afterall, his mother had insisted upon him bringing one for himself. All that had remained had been to talk Asch into the plan. Luke knew how much he missed Natalia; how much he had secretly pined for her over the years.
There would be a lot that needed to be worked out, worked around and figured out for sure, but all of that could come later. Now, the two young lovers had a chance to be together; for them both to finally be truly happy. And nothing, Luke decided, would get in the way of that any more. Not if he could help it.
~o~o~
Have you ever loved someone, But you waited just too long, To tell them what you're feeling. Maybe I was just too proud, To say I love you right out loud, Found the words I must believe in. On this night, it holds us both within,Set me free, oh let me live again. It's you and me tonight, With these feelings we can't fight, Just two people lost but made it found together. And if we make it through, Then tomorrow find the truth, You know I would fall, I would risk it all; Just for you.
~ You and Me Tonight by Alistair Griffin.
~o~o~