Before reading, please mind that I don't want to insult anyone with this fanfic. Especially not Hoshino-sensei.
Once that is clear – you're free to enjoy. But beware, it's really stupid. Sorry not sorry though.
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"You know, Kanda, I'm kind of bored," Allen said, moving his sun glasses up to rest on his hair and sitting up on his towel. Eating and lying on a beach was fairly nice, but...
"No shit, bean sprout," Kanda scoffed, not even turning his eyes away from his book.
Yeah. Book.
Allen was honestly shocked, or maybe even a little scared, when he first saw Kanda with a book. But he supposed the man finally had to get tired of trying to kill everyone out of sheer frustration of having nothing to do for, let me see― over two years.
"What are you reading?," Allen asked, not able to understand the title on the cover because of it being in Japanese. He then immediately thought about how stupid it is of him to expect a civilized answer.
"'Chinese tortures'. Can't wait to try that out on you," was the man's serious response. The younger male thought it still irked him less than when one time Kanda answered 'not chapter two hundred nineteen'. It was honestly an overkill. He knew it was a delicate topic for everyone around here.
Allen just sighed loudly and, putting his glasses back on his nose, got up and stretched thoroughly. He wondered where Lenalee and Lavi were. He tried looking around, but saw pretty much nothing but sand and palms. Oh well.
"Do you know where Lavi is?," Allen asked his – bright as the Sun itself – companion, wanting a more eager conversation partner.
"I dunno, ask D. Gray-man fans."
"Kanda...," Allen groaned helplessly, feeling a headache coming. There he went again. The swordsman was really becoming unbelievably pissy lately.
"Mm? What?," Kanda gave him a look and then. "Oh, right. They don't know."
Allen decided he was not going to comment. It would only make Kanda want to continue. Instead, he just furrowed his eyebrows and kicked Kanda on his ribs. The man merely cringed and growled at him, shutting his book loudly and giving him an evil stare.
"What the fuck, bean sprout," he barked, propping himself on his elbow to get into half-sitting position.
"You're supposed to be a dick, not a bitch, JerKanda," Allen mumbled.
"Tch. And you're supposed to be the perfect protagonist, stop saying the bad words," Kanda merely scoffed and wend ahead to lie back down and get back to reading. Or at least that was his plan.
"I'm serious, Kanda. You're losing your edge, you know," Allen pressed on, small smirk pulling at his lips.
"Sure. Bite me."
Never would Kanda expect Allen to take it in the literal sense and immediately get down to his knees to do as his was told without hesitation.
"Are you a complete idiot?" Kanda wiped the saliva off of his arm with a disgusted scowl and immediately jumped at the albino, knocking his glasses off with momentum and making them both land on the hot sand. He closed his hands on the pale neck, planning to just strangle the moron to death.
"H-hey, stop," Allen worded with difficulty, kicking Kanda in the stomach to loosen the grip and pry the assaulting fingers away.
"I thought you wanted to die and tried to be helpful. Why else would you do something so idiotic?," the long haired man growled in his face, glaring with all his might.
"Please. You act as if my body fluids put you off," Allen scoffed, tangling his hand in Kanda's loose hair just because he really liked doing it, but also knowing he could tug at the strands quite painfully. Should the man decide to get violent again of course.
"Because they do." The scowl on Kanda's face was probably supposed to make Allen believe that statement.
"Oh really," he deadpanned, swiftly pulling the man close before he could speak any more nonsense. He pressed their lips together, making his tongue join the kiss soon after, unhurriedly caressing the inside of Kanda's mouth.
Did the man push him away? No. Did he seem disgusted? No. Eager if anything, honestly.
Lazily spicing things up with his teeth, Allen slid his hands across Kanda's back. The man was conveniently already straddling his hips since he tried to strangle him earlier, but now repositioned his hips slightly, making sure their groins were touching through the swimwear they were both wearing. Mm, yes, hiatus had its bright sides, if Allen said so himself.
"Guys!," a shriek tore through the air, making them break the kiss abruptly. Allen was only glad Lenalee didn't choose to come later, who knows what they could have been doing by then.
"Um, yes?," he asked politely, finding his hands didn't really want to leave Kanda's ass, but he somehow made them do it. No words could describe how reluctant he was though. Besides, was it just him or did Lenalee really seem a bit pissed off? He wasn't sure, looking at her upside down and all.
"You know you shouldn't do that," she pointed out, trying to look stern, but her light blush kind of ruined that for her.
"It's backstage, Lenalee. No one cares about backstage," he tried to calm her down as he and Kanda detangled from each other completely. He was now sitting on the sand, whole body turned to face her.
"Who would want to defeat the purpose of the main female character?," Kanda snorted ironically, sitting back down on his towel. Allen turned his head sharply to throw him a half-assed glare and threw a handful of sand at him, completely ignoring the curses and insults that followed.
"You can sit if you want to," Allen casually gestured at the unoccupied towel with his head, smiling friendly.
"Thanks," Lenalee said, sitting down with a miserable sigh. "I hope you guys know I'm not trying to bully you or anything. It's just that my manager is going to kill me, you know. He always says D. Gray-man needs a romantic subplot and all," she sighed once again, her eyebrows scrunched up together in a helpless expression.
As Allen was about to say something that could cheer her up, Kanda let out a loud 'tch', drawing attention to himself. He was by now back to lying under the huge sun-parasol, the damned book in his hand once again.
"You should just be glad it's still a shounen and they're not going to kick you out," the long haired man said in a bored tone, despite himself throwing the girl a victorious look.
"Kanda!," Allen exclaimed disapprovingly, immediately apologizing to their friend for Kanda's bastard-ness.
"Haha, it's okay, Allen. He's kind of right." She shrugged, but Allen raised an eyebrow at her, glancing back at Kanda suspiciously.
"He is?," he asked slowly, obviously doubting.
"Well―," she begun, but paused to clear her throat. "Have you ever read a yaoi manga, Allen?"
"No...," he stated just to be safe. He kind of tried to, but found himself always skipping the plot, so he decided it was better not to mention that.
"Um, I did. A one or two," she blushed a little again, her eyes straying to the side. "It's really almost funny how there are close to no women in them, haha. Also, nearly everyone is gay. It's quite weird, actually." The girl was obviously getting a bit lost in her thoughts. "And those hands...," she added in horror, a shiver passing through her.
Allen quickly decided he shouldn't press on about that 'hands' thing.
"If D. Gray-man was somehow about to become The. Gay-men, they wouldn't just fire you though," Kanda butted in again, causing Allen to giggle-snort at the title change.
"No?," Lenalee cocked her head at him, obviously amused as well.
"No, I'd guess you'd just magically grow a dick and everyone would be led to believe you were a cross-dresser all this time. And then they would find someone to fuck you," Kanda snorted, apparently finding some kind of sadistic pleasure in insulting the creativity of all the manga creators that have ever graced the face of Earth.
"Oh," Lenalee said, not sure how to comment that. "That's... disturbing." She furrowed her eyebrows, but at the same time crooked a smile, fighting down a giggle.
"You know, Kanda. Suddenly I don't even want to know what you're reading," Allen deadpanned, significantly better at keeping the so-called poker face than Lenalee was.
"Fuck you," Kanda snarled and busied himself with glaring at the albino. He was not distracted enough to not notice Lenalee tried to sneak a peek at the cover of his book though. The glare was instantly redirected at her.
She put her hands up in mock-surrender.
"I don't know Japanese anyway," she stated, but didn't dare to look him in the eye, still failing to fight down her smile.
"But you know kanji," he spat viciously and she couldn't stop herself from laughing anymore, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. Twinkling eyes threw Allen a meaningful glance.
"Hey Kanda, I might just let you try out those Chinese tortures," he laughed, sending Kanda an exaggerated flirty wink.
Kanda just groaned in frustration and turned his back to his supposed friends, deciding he could decapitate them after he finished reading.
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Yeah.
xD
Please drop a review, I really want to know your thoughts on this one, lol.
*kanji- chinese characters*