My first attempt at writing! I've been a long time lurker on this site and was finally inspired to do some creating by the amazing Charles and Elsie stories out there. My thanks go out to those authors; I only hope this can go some way to repaying even a small amount of the enjoyment I've gained from your work :)

I've had to play with the established timeline a bit to make this work, hopefully it doesn't matter too much.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, and if I did no one would watch because Downton Abbey would consist of long character pieces between Charles & Elsie and Robert & Cora, interspersed with scenes of O'Brien falling down the stairs.

25th April 1896

To my darling boy,

I don't know if your parents will ever tell you about me or let you read this letter, but I write it in the hope that one day you will understand why I did what I am about to do. And how much I love you, no matter where you are.

As I hold you in my arms I can almost convince myself to hold on to you, to believe that we will be able to make it together and that I will be able to give you all the things that you deserve. But I realise it is not possible. If you stay with me you will never want for love or affection, but no amount of love can provide food or a roof over our heads. Life would always be a struggle for us and I cannot do that to you, no matter how much it hurts to say goodbye.

I have a good position in a respected household. My employers are good people who have always treated me with great respect and kindness. However, their kindness cannot possibly extend to continuing the employment of an unmarried mother.

Your father is a good and honourable man and I am ashamed to say that I have not been brave enough to tell him of you. If he knew, I am certain he would insist that we marry and that he provide for his wife and son. I cannot allow that to happen - not only would we lose our homes and our jobs, but I would have to live each day with the knowledge that I had forced my family into poverty when there was another path that would injure only myself. Please remember that this was my choice and that I gave your father no say in the matter. You are only two days old but I can already see how much you will look like him. You'll be tall and strong and kind and loyal. He would be so very proud of you, as I will be whenever I think of you.

Should you ever wish to find me, I would dearly love to meet the fine man that I know you will become. You should enquire in the village of Downton in Yorkshire.

Enjoy your life, my beautiful boy. You will be in my heart and my thoughts and my prayers every day of my life. Please forgive me for leaving you; it is the most painful and difficult thing I will ever do.

Your loving mother,

Elsie Hughes

So, what do you think? I've got a good idea where this is going for a fair few chapters yet, so there'll be more to come soon *fingers crossed*. Good wishes and hugs have been known to inspire me :D