Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I don't own any part of Gundam Seed (or Gundam Seed Destiny).
Summary: Life is often unpredictable, and things will happen whether you want them to or not. Lacus Clyne learns this as she realizes that when she develops a crush on a friend, not even a will of iron can deny the fact that she's in way over her head.
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17-year-old Lacus Clyne sighed. P.E. had to be one of her least favourite classes. She liked playing sports – but being a singer, she's never really had the time to practice. Therefore, she's never been really good in P.E. Oh well, she thought, could be worse. We could be playing soccer instead of volleyball. Volleyball was one of the few sports she could actually play without making a fool of herself. Not that she minded – she had her music, and that was good enough.
30 minutes later, and her team definitely had the worst of it. They were losing by, well, a lot. After her team lost the next point, she noticed a boy on her team. Call her unobservant, considering she hasn't noticed him till now. But this boy – well, there was no denying the fact that he was cute. Of course, being busy with her music, she's never had much time for boys. Still, there's just something about the way his long brown hair fell over his light violet eyes…Lacus shook her head, blushing. Get a hold of yourself, Lacus thought, you have no time for this. However, what she didn't know was that this boy – Kira – had unknowingly caught her attention – whether she liked it or not.
Fast forward about a year. Kira and Lacus had become good friends. There was nothing special about this relationship – they were merely 2 friends who constantly argue about which they thought was better: pink vs. blue, ice vs. fire, etc…many pointless arguments could lead to hours of furious instant messaging online. But they had no feelings towards each other – besides the fact that they were friends, of course. Or did they?
Late one night, Lacus couldn't get to sleep. She started thinking about that day at school, which consisted of more pointless arguments between her and Kira (the latest one being Danny Phantom vs. Dexter's Lab). Thinking about Kira, she smiled. Then she thought about how a couple had recently broken up at school. Lacus' smile faded. It's sad how they both thought this relationship would last. They're in high school – what makes them think it'll last forever? And he even said he'll never break up with her 4 months ago…pathetic. Lacus sighed. She, like any other teenage girl, dreams of finding love one day. To love another, and to have someone love you; to have someone hold you and make you feel warm, safe, and wanted.
However, Lacus Clyne wasn't an ordinary teenage girl. She knows that relationships are never what they seem on T.V: with no problems, arguments, or disagreements. She also knows that love can lead to major heartbreaks. Which is why she intends to wait until she knows when the time is right…she won't get into those silly crushes her friends tend to get.
Or will she?
Lacus had a sudden thought: what if she already fell into that dangerous trap? What if she has already developed a crush on a certain brown-haired boy with light violet eyes? What if this has already formed into a full-blown high school crush without her noticing?
No…I can't have! Kira's just a friend! I don't like him! I don't! Lacus shook her head furiously, as if this will deny the fact that she indeed has a crush on Kira. Tears started to form, because she knew she couldn't deny it any longer. She didn't know why she hated this so much – after all, many of her friends have had crushes before, and they all said they lived through it.
But after witnessing so many break-ups – after comforting so many of her friends because their hearts have been broken – this frightened her. Brave Lacus Clyne – who could go up in front of thousands of people and sing a song without blinking an eye – was scared of finding love. Why? Lacus thought, why me? I never asked for this, I never wanted it! I don't need another person to make me feel wanted. I don't need this! I don't need another person making my life complicated! Tears fell. She was crying, she realized. She's never cried over a guy before. Great, she thought, I'm turning into one of those brainless twits who can't think of anything but guys. Just what I need.
She rolled over. No matter. These kinds of things always pass – no one has to know. This will probably blow over in a month or so. With that thought, she fell asleep – though this wasn't the last time she thought of her growing crush on Kira Yamato.
Fast-forward another half a year or so. It was the end of January, and everyone in grade 12 was on a 4-day retreat. It was around 2am, and, naturally, nobody was asleep. Her fellow cabin-mates and friends, Miriallia and Flay, wanted to play Truth or Dare, and were begging Lacus into playing with them. Well, it was mostly Truth, because they were stuck in their cabins and there weren't many Dares you could do in a one-room cabin.
It was Mir's turn. She slowly turned her mischievous blue eyes on Lacus. Lacus gulped; Mir could ask really evil questions when wanted. "Okay Lacus," Mir said, "there is one thing me and Flay would like to know about: your love life." She turned on a flashlight and held it under her chin, casting spooky shadows on the roof of the cabin. Lacus eeped, "Whhaaaaa?"
Flay smiled. "You heard her. Come on Lacus, please? Don't pass." Lacus sighed. "Fine. What do you want to know?"
Mir grinned. "Well, first of all, do you have a crush?"
"…" Lacus didn't know how to reply. The truth was, she didn't know. After that fateful day a year and a half ago, she had gotten to know Kira better, and they've become good friends – oh she's made other friends too, but there's something about Kira that catches her interest. She suspects that she might have a crush on him, but she can't be sure. In fact, she denies it. However…
"I think I do," Lacus replied quietly, "I'm not sure though."
Mir and Flay looked at her. They were aware that this has suddenly become a bigger issue than simply Truth or Dare. "Who is it?" Mir asked.
Lacus was silent for a long time. Then, she smiled. "Guess." Mir and Flay looked at each other, once again grinning. "Athrun?" Flay guessed. Lacus shook her head. "Yzak?" Lacus shook her head again. "Flay, my friend, you are way off."
Mir was quiet, until now. "I think I know," she said, smiling. Lacus looked at her. "Really now…?"
"Really. I think it's…Kira."
Lacus blushed. "Is it obvious?"
"Well, not really…but I can tell." Mir winked. She started laughing. "Don't worry, we won't tell anyone. Right Flay?"
Flay was mortally offended by this question. "Of course I won't! What kind of friend do you take me for?" They laughed.
"Whew! Glad I got that out of my system." Lacus said, smiling. Then her smile faded. "I just hope I can get over him as soon as possible."
Mir and Flay was startled. "Why?"
Lacus shrugged. She would tell them, but then again they might not understand. After all, Mir does have a boy she's crazy over…and Flay…well she's had her share of guys asking her out. Of course, Lacus does have fan letters coming in 20 times a day, with guys asking her to marry her and all of that. But she's quite sure that those people were just joking – if not, they were probably from the local nut house.
She changed the subject. "Pillow fight!" She whipped a pillow at Flay, making her squeal. Lacus laughed. This continued until a teacher came to do the cabin checks and told them all to go to sleep (not that they listened, of course ;)
A few days later, while she was talking to Flay online, they somehow got onto the subject of good-looking guys at school. Lacus personally thought that Kira was the best, though she would never admit it to Flay. Then, Flay suddenly typed in, "No, there's no comparison – Kira's the hottest!"
Lacus stared at the screen, then laughed. She typed, "I wouldn't say he's hot, but he's cute, I'll give him that."
Flay showed a laughing emoticon. Lacus typed, "Why? Ooo la la, Flay, do you like him?"
Lacus had only meant it as a joke, but when Flay had responded with a blushing emoticon, shock hit her like a ton of bricks. "Flay! You do like him!" she typed.
A message appeared on her screen, "Well...yeah. Don't worry though, I doubt Kira would ask anyone out, let alone one of his friends."
Lacus agreed completely. Kira didn't seem the type to ask anyone out. Whew! This still works out! I don't want a guy to get between my friends and I.
Though even as she thought these words, a sinking feeling of suspicion sank in. No! Don't think that! You don't want to know! she thought to herself.
She put the matter out of her mind, knowing that whether Kira likes Flay or not, she had to accept whatever the result is.
Fast-forward another half a year. The day was June 15, and Lacus has made the track team (hey, she's not that bad at sports). Now, she was at the meet with several of her friends who also made the team. One of these friends was Kira Yamato.
Lacus was delighted, of course, to learn that he was also going to the track meet. But she was also scared, because Kira suspects that she likes him – which she does. But she never wanted him to find out because if he did, disasters were sure to follow. Lacus remembered a quote she read once: No one should have to regret what they have done. She intended to follow it to the letter. And her letting Kira find out that she has a crush on her would definitely be something she would regret.
Mir had suggested telling him, to Lacus' surprise. "Why?" she had asked. It was Mir's turn to be surprised.
"Well…why not? Something could happen." Lacus had snorted very un-Lacus-like at this comment.
"Such as? What, he asks me out? Then what?" Mir shrugged.
"Besides," Lacus continued, "I already know who he likes."
"Really? Who?"
"Can't tell ;)"
Mir sighed. "Fine. Do what you want. I still think you should tell him though."
Lacus smiled happily - and that was the end of that conversation.
Drifting back to the present, she heard the announcer say that her first event was coming up – the 100m sprints. Lining up beside the others, she took a deep breath. Okay, this is it. You've practiced hard, and now you just have to run it. She was trying hard to beat her fastest time – 12 seconds and 11 milliseconds. The person in charge was explaining all the rules. Then he told them all to get into position. It was so quiet on the track, you could hear a pin drop. The gun went off with a bang! And Lacus was off like a rocket.
At first she nearly crossed lanes – that would result in disqualification. Focus! She told herself. She made herself look at the finish line, and ran, her heart pounding in her ears. She saw others pass her, and made herself run faster. Finally, she crossed the finish line. Fourth in the heat – better than last year. Last year, she had finished 6/8 in her heat. She saw her coach smiling, and grinned. Oh well. I ran my best, and that's what counts.
Then, she walked over to the hill where all her friends were sitting, overlooking the field. Lacus was greeted by every single one of her friends, all of them asking, "How'd you do?"
Lacus grinned again, saying she finished 4th in her heat. A group of "Congrats" chorused from them, knowing that competitors from other schools could have been much faster than they ever will be.
Then, she sat down, and did nothing in particular until her next event (the 200m sprints). Looking around, she saw that almost everyone was sleeping, or watching the other events. Then, it was time for Dearka to run the 1500m race. "Guys! Dearka's about to run!"
The gun went off, and everyone started cheering. "Come on Dearka! Run!" Lacus cheered. Dearka turned to look at them, and Athrun started yelling at him furiously for his stupidity. "You idiot! What the heck are you doing? Turn around!" Dearka indeed turned and ran.
In the end, Dearka placed fourth, which was good, considering he faced about a hundred other representatives from other schools. The group ate lunch, talking about the rest of the events and how other reps from their school did. Lacus looked at Kira. He was unusually quiet, and was staring out into space. Hmm…maybe he's nervous? Unlike her, Kira was only in one event: triple jump. It wasn't until later in the afternoon. Oh well. It's none of my business anyways. She finished her lunch, and told her friends she was going to walk around the field for a bit. After walking around once, she walked back, seeing nothing worth noting. After all, Yzak had already discovered the snack bar, and everyone already took the chance to buy Freezes.
Walking back up the hill, she noticed Kira was still sitting apart from the others, silently staring into space. She put it out of her mind as she walked back to her friends.
The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. After she ran the 200m races, she walked over to the sandpits to watch Athrun and Kira jump. "Hi!" she said cheerfully.
"Lacus! Come to watch the pro jump?" Athrun said.
Kira grinned. "Of course she did – she came to watch me."
"What! Who cares about you? I'm obviously the better jumper."
Lacus laughed. Watching them was always entertaining. Suddenly, a voice behind her said, "Hey."
Lacus jumped. She finally noticed Dearka, sitting on the ground and leaning against the flagpole. "Dearka! Where'd you come from?"
Dearka shrugged. "I was always here."
"Right. So…what's up?"
"Nothing much…you?"
"Not much…how's Miriallia?"
The sudden change of subject startled him. "W-what?" Dearka stuttered. Lacus looked at him, laughing.
"Come on! It's so obvious you like her."
Dearka turned away. "I'm not talking to you."
Lacus laughed. She knew that was just Dearka's way of saying he was embarrassed – of course, he'd never admit it.
She turned her attention onto the pit. Athrun just finished his jumps. "How'd you do?" Lacus asked.
"Okay – I think I'm third so far."
"That's great!" she congratulated him.
"No, it's not!" Athrun whined, "it means I won't get the purple ribbon! And purple is the best!"
"Umm...okay..." Lacus sweatdropped. Purple was their new obsession.
Kira walked over, having finished his jumps as well. "Dude! First so far! Got 9m 18 inches!"
Athrun stared. "What! You beat me?"
Kira shrugged. "Of course I did ;)"
In the end, Kira got second place ("What! Stupid Paul got 9m 37!") and Athrun got sixth (which means he got the purple ribbon). It also means that Kira will be going to the next round the week after, to Lacus' dismay. She didn't think that she would get into the next round, even with one more event coming up.
After almost crying after the relay race (Lacus' last event), she spent ten minutes talking trash about the people running the race. There were four people on the relay team, and they were positioned on different sections of the track. Because of the size of the track, and other people walking around, they couldn't see their teammates. Lacus was the second runner. A person in charge had told Lacus to run in the second heat, but when Luna came bursting down the track, Lacus knew there had been a terrible mistake.
It turns out that Lacus was supposed to run the first heat. The people running the race had let them run again, but by that time Luna was tired and didn't have the spirit for it. Lacus had run her fastest, and there had been no slips in the passing of the baton – but they still weren't able to place top eight, and had no chance of going to the next round. Her team had surrounded her, asking her questions, and she had answered them truthfully. Luna and the others said it wasn't her fault, but judging their disappointed and angry expressions, Lacus knew that in their hearts they were blaming her for their loss.
They didn't even bother listening to the announcing of the top eight relay teams. All four of them knew they blew it. Lacus walked back to her friends, fighting to keep angry tears from falling. Mir hugged her after she heard the story. The others told her it wasn't her fault, yet Mir and Lacus knew that the team would keep blaming her, believing that she had let them down.
The relay race had been the last event of the day. While they were waiting for the teachers to round them up, they spent a few minutes racing each other for fun. During the bus ride, all of them talked about that day's events, mostly swearing at the announcer, who kept reminding them that the bleachers were for parents watching and not students. It was when they were almost home that Lacus realized that she had talked to and laughed with Kira all day, yet she didn't have that nervous feeling she got when she usually talked to him. Yes! Lacus thought, I don't like him anymore! Considerably happier, she talked about random things with her friends for the rest of the bus ride.
That night, she signed onto MSN, and seeing Flay's name on the list, she instantly messaged her. Telling Flay that she no longer had a crush on Kira, she felt a big sense of relief falling upon both of them. This recent developement would make both their lives easier.
It wasn't until the next day that she realized how very wrong she was.
Coming home at around 9pm from a meeting with her agent, she signed into
MSN and checked who was online. She noticed something different about Kira's screen name, but before she could figure it out, she was messaged by Mir. The conversation goes something like this:
Miriallia: Lacus! Kira's going out with someone!
Lacus: Mir! You nearly froze my computer! ) And yes! I know! D
Miriallia: Yeah, well, just thought you should know.
Lacus messaged Kira, teasing him like any good friend would. She didn't have to ask who it was, she already knew it was Flay. She's had a suspicion all along that he liked Flay and a sense of dread and anticipation had been haunting her all day.
But even as she acted cheerful and happy for them, she felt something else. Suddenly, depression and sadness overwhelmed her. So great was this feeling that tears started to form, and angrily, she wiped them away. What is this? I thought I was over him!
Instantly, she messaged Mir, realising that she, indeed, still has a crush on Kira. "Mir," she typed, "don't tell anyone I still like him. I told Flay I didn't like him anymore yesterday – the timing couldn't have been more right."
Mir agreed. Lacus sighed. Oh well...I didn't think he'd ask me out anyway, Lacus thought. She went back to tormenting Flay and Kira about their new relationship, making fun of them and such. Grinning, she started editing her screen name to "Flay and Kira sitting in a tree! K-I-S...well y'all know the rest ;)". Preparing herself for the flood of comments on her screen name, she sat back, and tried to put the fact that she still liked Kira out of her mind. After all, she should be happy – Flay was her friend, and she fully deserved to be Kira's girlfriend.
Acting happy for them was easier than it seemed, thought it was hard for Lacus not to burst out and scream. She lost her appetite for that week, and was quieter than she usually was. June 16th would prove to be a haunting day for her – the day she received her first broken heart. Thus, the weeks passed, and Lacus learned to put it out of her mind – at least until she was in bed, waiting for sleep to overcome her.
I should have known – that's why he was so quiet yesterday, she thought. The difference in Kira's screen name had become obvious – it now says "June 16th 3" on it. The same goes for Flay's screen name.
Though Kira was going out with Flay, a tiny flare of hope lit inside Lacus. She dared to hope that maybe – just maybe – Kira would at least ask her to dance just one dance at the graduation dance in two weeks. It's just a dance – it wouldn't hurt...would it?
Two weeks later, Lacus' dreams became a reality – though it wasn't at all what she expected.
It was during the last dance of the day, and Lacus was desperately trying to find Mir so that Dearka would ask her (she forced him into promising he would, as soon as she could find her). When someone tapped her on shoulder, she turned around to see Kira.
"Wanna dance?" he asked.
She looked at him, before quickly replying "Okay, hold on for a sec." At that same time, she saw Mir on the other side of the room, taking pictures. She didn't have time to register what she just heard, and what she just said to Kira. She shouted, "Mir!"
Mir shouted back, "What?"
"Get inside or you're gonna get it!" she shouted (they were currently in the lobby of the banquet hall they were at).
Mir sighed, then hurried inside. Lacus also ran in to find Dearka, knowing that Mir had a tail of guys asking her to dance. She had to get Dearka to ask her before anyone else does.
She reached the side of the dance floor where Dearka was, and said firmly, "Ask her."
Dearka pointed behind her, where Mir was. Lacus spun around and gasped; someone had already asked Mir. She turned back to Dearka, and he shrugged. But Lacus could tell he was more upset than he looked – he had a look of dejection on his face. Lacus sighed. Then Kira repeated, "Wanna dance?"
Lacus nodded, while still looking at Mir and her dance partner (a boy who Lacus highly detested). Kira put his hands around her waist, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She sighed, feeling blissfully happy. Then her eyes widened, as she suddenly realized that she was dancing with her friend's boyfriend. Oh fudge. Flay's gonna kill me!
The truth was, Flay and Kira had been dancing together for almost all of the other slow dances that day – and Lacus had immediately disappeared to the washroom during nearly all of them. Unexpectedly, her chest had tightened instantly, and tears started to form. She hid out in the washroom until she was sure her face had turned back to normal.
At the end of the dance, Lacus relayed her fears and feelings of guilt to Miriallia.
Mir snorted. "Oh please, she won't care. It's not like she wasn't dancing with other people."
Lacus was upset – more upset than she should have been. Mir looked at her closely. "It's not just about Flay being mad at you, is it?"
Lacus shook her head, looking down. "I shouldn't have said yes," she whispered, "and worse yet, I enjoyed it."
Mir looked at her as if she had three heads. "Well, you like him, so you enjoying it is considered normal."
"Yeah, but he's Flay's boyfriend!"
Mir shook her head. "Lacus, they don't mind. Trust me. And as for the enjoying thing, it's perfectly normal. Don't beat yourself up about it."
Lacus nodded reluctantly. "Alright..."
Mir grinned. "Great!"
Lacus remembered something. "Oh yeah," she said, "You should talk to Dearka."
Mir looked at her quizzically. "Why?" she questioned.
"He wanted to dance with you, you know," she replied, "but then someone else asked you. I told you to go back into the hall!"
It was Mir's turn to look down. "Oh...that. I didn't know Dearka wanted to ask me, honestly! But I didn't know what you wanted...guess I should go apologise."
While Mir was talking to Dearka, Lacus sighed. She could hardly believe they were graduating. Everyone was already hugging and a few people were crying. She started to join in as well, knowing that they would be going their separate ways soon, although in everyone's hearts, they were all hoping – believing – that they would keep in touch, that they would all stay friends. And when Vitamin C's "Friends Forever" played, every single one of the gr. 12 graduates took each word to heart.
As Lacus sat in front of her computer two months later, she remembered each of these events like they happened the day before. School was about to start next week, and Flay and Kira had recently celebrated their 2-month anniversary. She remembered walking into the school with a nervous but determined look on her face. She remembered meeting Miriallia and Flay, and later on, Kira, Athrun, and their crazy, ragtag group of friends. She remembered the surprise she got in gr. 11, when she made the track team for the first time.
She recalled how she didn't think she was going to make the team the second time around, and finding her name on the list. She remembered getting her first crush, and how her heart was broken. Lacus didn't know whether she still liked Kira or not – after all, she hadn't seen him in two months (it has been very busy two months for her).
A few weeks before, she had decided to write these events down. These were only few of the many events that had happened over the course of the past two years, but Lacus decided she could risk not putting them down on paper.
As she typed out the last paragraph of her story, she knew that this wasn't finished. The story would continue writing itself, and she would decide whether or not she would write it down on paper. But this is life – and Lacus was just waiting for a new chapter to begin.
Author's Note: Well, hello there! Yes, I know the ending isn't what you expected. But I wanted to write a story that's more realistic than "happily ever after", even if that's what I normally enjoy writing. While the main storyline is fictional, a few of these events really did happen. Congratulations go out to many of my friends for winning ribbons at the track-and-field meet 2006 D And of course, two very important friends of mine who actually have been going out for two months now. They were also the inspiration for Kira and Flay's personalities (which is why Flay is very OOC O)
I had a great time writing this story, but this was meant to be a one-shot. Chances are, I'm going to keep it that way. Please review, and thank you for reading!