Looking Back

by themagiclivesinyourheart

My name is/was Melinda Elisabeth Knight. When I died, I was 20 years old. Still a child, but at the time I felt so grown up. I want my story told, I want you all to read it, I want it known by all so none of you will have to go what I'm going through.

Chapter 1

"Time heals all wounds."

Bullshit.

Whoever spoke those words was a complete and utter moron. Time does nothing of the sort. In fact, the pain never heals. It is simply buried by other frivolous things that we experience later on in life; only to reemerge in times of silence, sneaking its way back to your thoughts, it demanding your attention. So you cry, scream, hit, do anything to be rid of the pain your own body inflicts upon itself. A process that repeats throughout the years of your life; the pain dims and grows and dims again. And you live.

Then you die.

The soul is expelled from the body and through time and space, you are … somewhere, everywhere, nowhere. There is no sense of anything; no sense of what's around and no sense of yourself. Nothingness. That's where you are and what you are. Nothing. It's not Heaven, it's not Hell. Purgatory. That's what the breathers called it. And in all honesty, worse than the fiery depths of Hell itself.

You do nothing but wait and dwell on these thoughts that run through your mind over and over again. Unbearable pain racks through your ghostly body and nothing you do, crying, screaming, clawing, is able to stop it. But you deserve it, yet you don't know why. Although you have a feeling it has something to do with these thoughts that never leave you. And the emotions they produce course through your image, your soul, like the blood that once pumped through your veins.

Memories.

That's what they are. Memories; some good, some bad, but it's the bad that overwhelms you the most. It clouds any of the happy times you've tried to cling to, but failed at. Eventually you give up trying to even remember these joyful feelings and accept your fate; forever alone and suffering. It's your fault anyways, because of the stupid mistakes you've made. That's why you're here after all. All because of THOSE mistakes.

I would know …

This was my afterlife.

I don't know how long I've been here. I suppose a month or so since I've died. Time doesn't pass here. Unmoving. When I had first arrived I could do nothing but think and cry, praying for forgiveness to whatever higher power there might be. It didn't change anything though. I still sat and thought. After a while I discovered a few tricks to … entertain myself, I suppose. I found that instead of just THINKING, I could transport myself into those memories. Almost as if I were watching a movie or like that book by Charles Dickens. A Christmas Carol. Something like that.

I was also able to find that I could send an image of myself back to Earth. Only for a short amount of time, but it was better than staying in Nothingness. It's this ability that allows me to tell you readers my story. My image I send back to the world of the living, a ghost you could say, met with a young writer. I whisper in her ear when she sits with a pen in her hand and paper on her desk. Then she writes.

But it seems I've forgotten to introduce myself though. My name is/was Melinda Elisabeth Knight. When I died, I was 20 years old. Still a child, but at the time I felt so grown up. I want my story told, I want you all to read it, I want it known by all so none of you will have to go what I'm going through.

Please don't get attached like I did when I was alive. It'll only cause you suffering before your time calls for it. Just read and learn, then go back to your naïve, happy lives; applying what knowledge you'll gain from this. That way, when your time comes to leave Earth, you'll go to Heaven.

Let's begin where it all started.

There was a small, brightly painted kitchen, a sort of honey gold, and that day had been a clear and sunny one. The counters were filled with various kitchen tools and a few potted plants. A circular table stood in the middle of the room, a floral table cloth covering it. At the table, in one of the three chairs, bounced a little girl with a round face and ebony ringlets that were put up in pigtails, tied together with blue ribbons. She sang at the top of her lungs to the song, The Yellow Submarine, that played from the old-fashioned radio.

A beautiful, hippie-looking woman with equally dark hair stood at the sink with the water on, washing the few dishes there. Occasionally, she'd look over her shoulder, her heart-shaped face splattered with some bubbly soap that had somehow gotten there, and smiled at the happy child. Their large electric blue eyes would meet and with silent thoughts, the little girl and the older woman seemed to have a conversation; giggling and laughing. It was Melinda when she was only 6 years old and her Mother, when she was still alive.

Another woman walked into the room. She was plainer compared to the other woman and even compared to Melinda she was still quite bland with her brown hair and hazel eyes, but she has a beautiful smile. Melinda's Aunt Dianna, the younger sister of her Mother. She sat next to the joyful girl, kissing one of her rosy cheeks. Little Melinda grinned.

"You ready for today?" Aunt Dianna asked in that cooing voice so many grownups used on younger children. Melinda gave a large squeal of delight, clapping her little hands together excitedly.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she cheered. Her Mother frowned slightly, thinking her sister's idea was not a good one. This went unseen by the child, but Aunt Dianna saw. She went over towards the Mother and the two began to talk in hushed tones. Melinda was unaware of the tension.

The unusual family was planning to go to the zoo today, something rare for them to do. They hardly went out in public and if they did it was never for long. The two sisters kept a secret; a secret that'd be the downfall of them all. Whatever it was they kept quiet, they had kept it quiet for seven years now. Or at least that's what they though.

"It's a bad idea, Dianna."

"She's a child, she needs some fun!"

"But what if THEY find us?"

"THEY haven't before."

"But what about today?"

"Look, Katherine," Dianna sighed, exasperated by the reoccurring fight that took place. "It's been years since then. Either they don't give a damn about us anymore or we shook the." Looking her sister dead in the eye, the brunette spoke with such confidence it made Katherine believe for a second that she might be right. "It's over. We need to move on … for Melly."

Katherine was doubtful still though. She knew that their predators were relentless and would do anything to capture them. Yet the family had fled from their grasp for seven years now. Was it possible that it had been for good? After all, there'd be no possible way to find the family in Canada of all places. For today, she gave up the fight.

"Go get ready, sweetheart." She told her still naïve daughter who had just finished her plate of pancakes. Melinda bounded off towards another room, her room, in a hurry; ready to leave for the zoo now.

"Let's pray your right, Dianna."

A man cloaked in black stood a mile away from the cottage where the three females lived in, him hidden by the forest of trees. Through his own electric eyes, the place was ratty and beaten up. A place where criminals hid to get away from their captors. He smirked. Exactly what they deserved: filth. For years now, this broad-shouldered and muscular man had been hunting down these woman, seeking revenge for the name they had smeared. Knight.

The House of Knight.

The name he had unfortunately shared with THEM.

Yes, the two kind sisters were related to the man with blood-stained hands. More than related actually; they were siblings. Riven Knight. The youngest in the family, but now the Head of the House. Which simply meant that his family members followed his instructions, his rules, his ideas. He had a mission, a mission that had consumed his life for the past 7 years, and it was given to him by the Dark Lord himself.

Kill his sisters.

And he was willingly ready. It was the only way Riven could join the Death Eaters. He needed to dispose of the people who ruined the family name. Make it pure once again. Chills went up his spine, his eyes darkened, and with a sadistic smile, Riven Knight was ready for the deed to be done.

"Let's go!" Melinda whined, pulling on her Mother's skirt. Katherine smiled down gently at her lovely daughter, shrugging on a jacket.

"Be patient." She scolded, though the effect was ruined by her soft smile. Dianna strode in, wearing her jacket already. Melinda skipped towards her, pulling on her arm this time, begging for attention.

"Tell me what we're going to see again!" the little girl demanded sweetly as her Aunt swooped her up in her own arms. Grinning, Dianna began to tell her, once again, of the zoo. Katherine watched with loving eyes, waiting for them to be done.

DING DONG.

The sisters froze.

Ding dong, ding dong, DING DONG.

Katherine and Dianna stared at each other in horror. It was Sunday. There was no post on Sunday. They had no neighbors or friends. No one knew where they lived except for the mailman and THERE WAS NO POST ON SUNDAYS. Melinda, confused, looked between the two with narrowed eyes, opening her mouth to say something. Dianna covered it immediately, then looked towards her sister desperately, wondering what to do. Katherine waited, standing perfectly still, listening for anymore activity outside …

Click

"Go!" she demanded, whipping out something from her coat pocket. The door burst open, revealing a big burly man with brown hair and scars etched on his face. He was smirking. Lifting his hand, which held a stick, as Melinda noted, that spewed a lightning of red. An invisible barrier reflected it and the flash hit the wall instead, leaving scorch marks.

"GO!" Katherine demanded again, not looking over her shoulder. Swish and flick of her wrist …

Melinda's electric blue eyes were as round as saucers, now understanding the severity of what was going on. That and a part of her, who had never seen anything like this before, found it beautiful, yet all the more terrifying. She didn't see what had happened next for Dianna, in a fury, ran quickly out of the hall and into the back of the house where the backdoor stood. Melinda had begun to cry, calling out to her Mum.

"Mummy!"

"Hush," her Aunt snapped, slamming the door open that revealed a playhouse, a garden, and a shed. They headed towards the shed.

Although it was a clear day, bright with sunshine, the air was cold and it lashed at the woman and the little girl, whipping their hair. Melinda clung to Dianna, sobbing, as her Aunt bounded towards the little shed ahead of them. Yet, it seemed as if someone didn't want them to make. A stream of black smoke flew down from the blue sky, it solidifying into a form. A human body. A hideous woman with a pudgy and smashed in face. She gave what was supposed to be a grin, cackling with joy. The little child took one look at her and shrieked, placing her face in the nape of Dianna's neck.

It was for the best for Dianna was a fierce dueler, holding nothing back as long as you were a threat to her and her family. Only one person would come out alive and she was still breathing. Swiftly whipping out her wand, something that Melinda had always thought was a toy, and with a quick flick of it, she sent a jet of green towards the ugly woman. She had tried to pull out her own wand, but failed as it was wedged into her clothes and fat. Dianna watched with satisfaction as the body fell to the grass with a plop, then headed into the shed, finally.

Filled with so much junk and a lightbulb that flickered on and off, the two of them could barely fit Dianna set down the child on the paved floor, putting her focus on the back wall, which was the only place that held nothing. Melinda, no longer able to stand without shaking, fell to the ground. She wanted to go back into the house and find her Mother; crawl into her arms and cuddle as they'd read the Hopping Pot together. Dianna paid no mind to the sobbing girl who started to dry heave. Instead she slowly waved her wand, muttering unintelligible words.

The walls and floors shook, waking Melinda from her crying. She watched fearfully as the back wall slowly descended down, her eyes only seeing darkness and maybe the faint image of some stairs. Her Aunt tried to pick up the little girl up again, but instinctively she flinched away from her Aunt. How could she not when so much had happened in these couple of minutes? Who could she trust? This didn't stop Dianna who continued to gather the child in her arms, a bit forcefully even.

"What's going on?" Melinda yelled, punching her little fists into her Aunt's shoulder.

"Some people are coming to try and … take you away." She stated curtly, grabbing her niece's hand. "Now stop that."

"Why?"

"Because you're alive."

We had escaped into the tunnel which had led to a safe house, but my Mum never showed. My Aunt said that it was because she was leading the bad people on a different trail, but I knew the truth. She had died. I saw when Aunt Dianna had forgotten to dispose of her newspaper. The house had been set on fire. There had been no chance.

And it was my fault.

I wasn't meant to be alive. My family, the House of Knight, was pure of blood. I wasn't. My Father, I had learned later on, was a Muggle that my Mum had taken a liked to. They fell in love and soon she became pregnant with me. Her parents had found out, their son and her brother had told them, and they murdered him. They would've killed her too if it weren't for my Aunt Dianna. She had lied to them; said that her sister had been raped. Pitying their eldest daughter, they spared her, but demanded she get rid of the child.

But she didn't.

And that's why she died.

My Aunt and I had moved to London, where we lived with an old friend of hers. His name was Nick Bennett.

Dianna held a sleeping Melinda in her arms as she padded across the wet street, the back lash of the puddles hitting her. Her hazel eyes were focused ahead of the road on an loft complex, her face grim. They had been running for a month now. The woman had been able to garner some new documents, illegally changing their names. Dianna was now Vera Abrahams and Melinda was Leah Abrahams. That's who they had to become. Arriving at a chipped red door, Dianna rang the bell.

Wait …

Wait …

Wait …

"Damn it, Nick." She whispered angrily.

Click.

The door opened and her eyes laid on her old friend. Still as lazily handsome as before with his easy smile and slumped shoulders, Nick looked down at Dianna with his dark eyes. He glanced about worriedly for a second, then welcomed them in. Finally being relieved from the cold and wet, she let out a large sigh of relief.

"Welcome back." Nick greeted softly, closing the door behind him, his eyes twinkling at her.

"It's good to be back." Dianna shifted Melinda slightly. He nodded towards the child.

"That her?"

"Yes." He grinned at the little girl, taking one step closer to get a better view.

"She's beautiful. Looks like Katherine."

"Yes …" Dianna murmured, tears welling up. It was still too soon.

Nick led her to his living room and with a thankful nod, Dianna set Melinda down on the plush couch, waiting for her to wake. Nick ran a hand through his light hair watching Dianna carefully as she stared at the child. The two had been best friends at school, him always caring for her, but nothing ever came of it. She always knew, even having a bit of a crush on him as well, but her parents would never have approved with him not coming from a pure family. Maybe in the future … Nick went into the kitchen to make some snacks and tea. Dianna frowned as Melinda began to squirm, her eyes fluttering open. So much to tell her … and all so soon.

"Morning, Melly." She said with a weak smile. The little girl yawned hugely, stretching her small frame. She looked around the room in a daze.

"Morning." She stared at her Aunt seriously. "Where are we?"

Dianna took a deep breath, trying to find her courage. Oh how she wished her sister was still alive to help her with this. She had never been a Mother, only the fun Aunt. "At my friends house. Don't worry he's nice."

"Why?"

"Because he can help us. Keep away the bad people." At that moment, Nick strode in with a tray of teacups and some snacks. Both the girl's stomachs growled.

"Hungry?" he teased, setting the tray on his coffee table, sitting across from them in an armchair.

"I don't like tea." Melinda stated, eyeing the strange man wearily. Nick grinned, shaking off the comment.

"Which is why I made you hot chocolate." Melinda narrowed her eyes at him, almost glaring as to challenge him, but his easy grin never faltered and in a way, he challenged her too.

"Thanks." Melinda took her cup of hot chocolate, which even had some little marshmallows in it, and grabbed some of the mini-sandwiches greedily. Dianna picked up her tea, thankful to have something warm in her system, and Nick did the same.

"Melly, dear, there are some things I have to tell you …" Dianna began, as she watched her niece nibble on the food. Melinda looked up from her lunch with furrowed eye brows, waiting to hear what she had to say. "It's about your Mother and about our family and more importantly, it's about you."

"Oh."

"You see … you're not normal, love. Which is perfectly fine. I'm not and Nick here isn't. And your Mother wasn't either." Dianna stared at the little girl who stared right back, more confused as before and waiting to hear what her Aunt was actually trying to say. "You know those games you use to play, Melly? The ones where you pretended to be a witch?"

Melinda nodded slowly, some memories of those times flooding her mind. Often when she was a young, young girl, she'd steal the broom from the kitchen and would pretend that she could fly. Other times she'd make these 'potions' with shampoo and beauty products that her Aunt had. They, her Aunt and her Mum, had tried to lead her away from those sorts of things. They had told her those games were dangerous and could get them all in trouble, but this hadn't stopped the mischievous girl from doing so behind their backs. Though, as of late, she hadn't really been in the mood.

"Well … you are one. A witch. And so am I and your Mum is too, and Nick here is a wizard." He lifted an arm as if to say, PRESENT. "You come from a magical world Melinda, but some things happened that made me and your Mum leave so we could protect you. Those people that tried to attack us, they want to take you away … they want to harm you, but me and Nick aren't going to let that happen, okay? Your Mum had hoped you'd never hear a word of this until you were much older, but it's important now that you know. The bad people could still be following us and I'm not going to let you go around unprotected."

Nick leaned in, his usually smiley face was entirely serious now. "We, your Aunt and I, are going to train you how to use your magic. And not just that, since we can't rely on that entirely, we've decided to sign you up for some fighting lessons. Karate. "

"I don't mean to frighten you, Melly, but it's important for us to tell you all of this. We want to keep you safe." Dianna pleaded, praying that the child wouldn't begin to cry. She wasn't sure if she could handle it, but she didn't. Melinda simply blinked her large eyes, staring at the two. Waiting to see if they were done with their little speech.

"Ok."

As much as I didn't want any of that to be true, it was. I learnt that at my first lesson, when I had made a feather float. And I was signed up for Karate lessons where I learned to protect myself. As I got older though, the magic and the fighting became more difficult, but I never gave up. I couldn't. Not after my Aunt and Nick had risked their lives trying to protect me, my Mother already did, didn't she? Eventually, when I was old enough, they told me I'd have to leave the loft and study somewhere else. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Where they had studied and where my Mum had studied. And when I turned eleven …

I got my letter.