Okay, I'm writing again yay. I kind of broke my old computer or something? And i didn't gt a new one untill a few week ago. Also I kind of haven't had any idea what I could write, sorry about that. But this is just a little oneshot and I'm hoping to write a full chaptered story soon and yeah. I guess that's about it. ALSO I AM FROM FINLAND, THERE MIGHT BE GRAMMAR ISSUES I'M SORRY.
READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ THE ACTUAL STORY. Yeah the story is from Phil's point of view and Dan kind of left him six months ago and he still misses him and idk this is just some writing. I still hope you like it!
-Mari xx
" It's been six months since you left and I still can't stop missing you.
Your room is still empty. I don't want anyone to touch it. Sometimes even I am too scared to go there. I'm struggling to pay rent now that I don't have anyone to share the flat with, but I'm hanging in there. I'trying the best I can to keep myself together, but now that you're not here to hold me, it's getting really hard.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's ridiculous how much I miss you, how much I crave for your company. I know you're gone and you don't belong to me anymore. To be honest, I don't know if you ever belonged to me like I belonged - and I still do - to you. But I guess I'll never know, 'cause you're not here with me anymore.
I kind of hate myself for ever letting you close enough to hurt me, 'cause I really was hurt after you left me. I still am, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to forget you, I really am, but it's hard. You are hard to forget and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to recover from our break up. Why did I ever have to get so attached to you? Why did you have to make the butterflies in my stomach to dance? Why did you have to make me blush everytime you looked me in the eyes? Why did you have to whisper those words in my ear over and over again?
'I love you.'
But I don't think you ever did. I'm trying to convince myself that you lied, that those words were never true and I think I'm starting to believe it. At least I hope I am.
It feels kind of stupid that I'm missing you so much and you don't even have a clue. It feels stupid that a person can love someone and miss someone so much, even though they're just a memorie to them. Maybe I am stupid for missing you, but I just absolutely can't help it. How can someone not miss you? You're gorgeos. Your eyes are like brown diamonds glowing in the dark. Your hair is so soft and so curly and I miss combing my fingers through it. Your fingers are light against my skin and your lips are so perfect against mine. I don't understand what I did to make you leave.
But now I'm here, sitting on my bedroom floor with a vodka bottle on my hand, asking myself 'What went wrong? What did I do? Why was I not enough for you? Why can't I still be in your arms?' I'm drunk and I know it's stupid to still get drunk and miss you at 2 am, and it's even more stupid to sent you those text messages that say 'I miss you', but I don't know what else to do. I'm not good with coping, I've never been.
I'm not good with alcohol either, it messes with my brains. It dizzies my mind and I can't think straight. It makes my head hurt but I don't care, 'cause it makes you disappear from my mind sometimes, even just for a little while. But like I said, alcohol messes with my brains and I'm not sure was I dreaming or not when I got a text message from you, a text message that I should've never gotten, 'cause now I'm getting false hope and that's never a good thing. I got a text message from you, that said
'I miss you too.' "