I was staring at my best friend from my webcam. She was shedding tears, dabbing at her eyes with her over-sized hoodie. I had never seen her so heartbroken before. This was even worse than that time in seventh grade when her first boyfriend dumped her.
I didn't know what to say to her. She was crying and absolutely crushed. She had just finished telling me the story about her infertility. She could make babies, but she couldn't carry one. She had said a bunch of medical terms that I don't remember but long story short: She could get pregnant but would never make it over a month before a miscarriage would occur.
"It's not fair!" she blubbered, holding a tissue to her face. She started to mutter apologies to me for crying but I just let her cry out her sorrows. I watched her with a pitying face. I wondered why this would happen to somebody like Trish. She loved kids, she'd wanted one since she was little. She was thrilled when her baby brother was born and ever since she was always excited to grow up and have her own family. She loved a family structure and now she found out she could never have one - Well, she could, but only with adoption, of course. She wanted her own child, though. One with her eyes and her husband's humor. One with her chubby face and her husband's nose.
I had already shared my condolences with her and now there was nothing left to say. What do you say at times like this? It's a tough situation. I sat behind my computer screen only nibbling on my bottom lip. I wanted her to be okay. I wanted her to be happy.
"What am I going to do?" she wept, "Having a child was my biggest dream, beyond my dreams of getting married and being a theatrical actress!"
Suddenly, an idea bounced inside of my mind. I wasn't sure how she would react but I was going to throw it out. "Well, you could have a surrogate mother."
She stopped crying for a moment before she shook her head, "You know I don't have money for that. That must cost tons."
I don't know where it came from or what I was thinking, but suddenly I blurted, "I'll do it."
Trish was silent for a long time, then murmured, "What?"
I saw the look on her face. The shock, the hope, the disbelief. I couldn't change my mind now. Besides, her happiness mattered to me. What would be wrong with helping out a friend? She needed me right now and I'm more than willing to help. We've been best friends since our toddler years. She taught me how to ride a bike once she'd learned, I taught her how to swim, she taught me how to persuade someone into doing what I want, I taught her what it meant to be a helpful person, we learned from each other. We were practically sisters. She had always been there for me, too. It was my turn to be there for her.
I nodded my head, a smile curled on my lips slightly. "I'll be your surrogate. For free. I'll even come down to Miami and I'll stay with you so you can experience everything, too. I don't mind, Trish. You'd know I'd do anything to help you out."
"No...No, Ally..." She shook her head, crumpling up the tissue in her hand and looking at me with her eyes slightly larger than they were before. "You can't do that. What about your songwriting? You just told me literally an hour ago that you met up with that musician and she wants you as her songwriter. You could be making so much money. You could finally live out your songwriting dream, and you just won that composers award. If you come here, that might disappear. I can't do that to you."
The odd thing was that I loved her so much that I didn't mind. I loved my songwriting and I was so excited to start selling my work, but Trish was my best friend and like I said, practically my sister, I was willing to drop everything for her.
"I'm fine with it, Trish. This is for you. This is more important than my work because it's your happiness we're talking about. I'm happy when you're happy. Besides, I could have the baby and then come back to New York and start my songwriting again." I smiled.
Trish's lips curled upwards and she held a hand over her heart, like she was ready to catch it if it jumped out of her chest. "Ally, this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. You're sure you want to do this?" she questioned. I nodded slowly. She grinned. "Dez! Dez!" she called, leaning back in her chair and I saw the sparkle in her eyes again.
Her husband waltzed into the room. "You called?" he said. "Oh, hey, Ally!" he waved at me, grinning.
"Hi, Dez." I replied.
"Dez, Dez! You won't believe what Ally's offered! She wants to be a surrogate for us! For free! She's going to come down to Miami for the entire nine months!" Trish smiled wide. I got nervous.
Miami. I hadn't been in Miami since I was eighteen. The second I graduate, I hugged Trish and Dez and took off on the soonest flight to New York to fulfill my songwriting dreams. Miami was full of so many things. My childhood, my teenage years, bad memories.
"Ally...Are you serious? Are you sure?" Dez questioned, gawking. I forced a smile and nodded. Trish got up from the chair and hugged him tightly as they cried with joy. My smile became real again because I realized what I'd just done: I'd just made their dreams come true. They wanted a child so bad.
I got nervous about something else. What if I couldn't get pregnant? What if I was just like Trish? I didn't want to let her down. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I watched the happy couple from my computer screen.
. . . .
"Ally!"
I turned around and I grinned wide. I went running into my best friend's arm, feeling close to tears because of the happiness. This was the first time in a year that I was actually seeing her face-to-face. Her and Dez had come up to New York several times to see me but they had been short on money this year and needed to work lots so they couldn't make the trip.
"I can't believe this is happening!" Trish squealed. I smiled as I pulled away from her. "Two suitcases? That's all you brought for an entire nine months?" she questioned.
"Well, I could always shop in Miami. Couldn't I?" I said. She laughed softly and nodded.
"Who's going to take care of your apartment?" she questioned.
"My parents." I replied. They had moved to New York with me. My Dad had opened a Sonic Boom replica there although it wasn't inside a mall. It was its own individual store in New York. It wasn't the same outside of a mall. Sonic Boom had closed down after my parents left Miami. According to Trish, it's turned into a small cafe now. Trish said she doesn't even go inside because it makes her feel nostalgic.
"Thank you so much for this." Trish thanked me for the one millionth time. Ever since I'd offered last month, she was so ecstatic for me to come down. Her and Dez hadn't quit thanking me and Dez promised me that I was going to be living in an apartment not too far from where they lived. They never deciphered where.
I didn't admit it to Trish, but I was a little bit scared. I mean, I was only twenty two years old. I wasn't very old to be having a baby, but I reminded myself not to be too afraid because it was only nine months and then it was all up to Trish and Dez to raise it. Though, I was also frightened about the whole giving birth thing. I heard that it's really kind of painful. I was worried about gaining weight, but I always focused on the fact that this was all for Trish and the fact that I could lose it all once the baby was out. I was excited for the cravings because that meant excessive amounts of food with the perfect excuse.
Trish and I tossed in my suitcases into the trunk of her car. "Dez was so happy you did this, too. He almost didn't go to work today because he wanted to come with me to thank you, but he'd missed a lot of work last week because he had the flu."
"That's fine. I'm going to be here for nine months, he's not going to miss me." I said. Trish smiled and nodded her head. We hopped into her car and she tore out of the airport. I gripped the door and looked up at the sky, praying that I wasn't making a huge mistake. Could I handle this? I think I could.
My parents weren't so thrilled about the decision but they warmed up to the idea that it was for Trish. They then praised me for being generous. They were okay with me being gone for nine months, but mentioned that they wanted to visit me sometime. Gee, they kind of acted like I was moving away for ten years. It was just 3/4 of a year. Not too bad.
Trish blabbed the entire car ride. She had mentioned everything to me. How work was, how happy she was, how her parents were, how her brother was, how Dez was. She told me that she had already made an appointment to start the consultation and the procedure.
"So, Dez and I couldn't get you your own apartment, sorry." she said. Did she just imply that I'm...rooming with somebody? I gave her wide eyes. "Don't worry! He knows all about it! He's perfectly fine with it. He's excited to meet you, too! I think the poor guy was lonely. He's dying for a roommate! You could've stayed with Dez and I but we only have one spare room and it's going to be turning into the nursery." Trish pulled the keys out of the ignition.
I looked at the place where I'd be staying. The building was tall and I got nervous. She kept saying 'he' which implied that I was living with a guy. Did she seriously make me live with some guy who I've never met before? Did she seriously want me rooming with a stranger? I guess he's not a total stranger if both her and Dez are quite familiar with him.
"I have to be honest with you, Ally," Trish started, "Austin...Well, he can be quite the handful...But he's great once you warm up to him!" I think she only smiled to encourage me. I chanted in my head that this was for Trish and Dez, besides, how bad could he be?
Trish helped with my bags. We walked into the apartment and I was feeling more anxious as we walked down the hall. He lived on the bottom floor so if I ever needed to take off into a sprint because he was going to kill me, it'd be an easy getaway.
Trick knocked thrice on the door. It took a moment before the door was slowly opened. Standing in the door was a very attractive blonde man who I guess went by the name Austin. Before I could drool, Trish wrapped her arms around his torso.
He hugged her back for a moment before looking at me again. His eyes were teasing and sinister. I think I feel...I think I feel attracted to him. Oh, dear, god.
"Ally," Trish said, "This is Austin. Austin, this is Ally." Austin nodded once at me coolly.
My bones shook in my body. His hair was tousled, swooping over his forehead. He had a jaw line that looked like it was sculpted by an artist and his lips that were tugged up in a smirk.
"Cat got your tongue?" Austin questioning, the smirk widening. He's so - Oh. I felt like I had just been knocked onto my backside. Apart from his good looks, I took one thing away from this introduction: He was arrogant. That or he had really dry humor.
Trish cringed, "Austin," she groaned, face-palming. She looked at me as if to say I promise he's not that bad! But whatever interest that had sparked when I saw him had died the second he started talking. His voice was amazing, don't get me wrong, deep and husky, but he was an ass and I could tell. I also have great intuition and if you see somebody this attractive, Well, you know they're going to be a jackass.
Did I make a mistake?
Yup!
Could I back out?
Nope!
I looked over at Trish who was still holding a cringe. If she knew I wasn't going to like him, why did she want me to stay with him? For all I know, I could've stayed with her parents or a different friend! I have old friends in Miami, like...like Cassidy! Why couldn't I stay with her? I quickly remembered her post on Facebook - she was in Mexico. I inwardly groaned and found myself already seething at the boy.
"Don't flatter yourself," I barked. He laughed slightly, looking heavenward as if he hadn't expected me to say that but was glad that I did. I shook my head. He stepped backwards and opened the door a little bit wider, inviting us inside.
"Guest room, is that-a-way!" Austin pointed, giving another sly look before rudely departing to his couch where I could see his living room was a mess.
Trish ushered me to the guest room like she was scared I was going to back out. Pfft, I wanted to back out! Nothing was worth this! Okay, maybe Trish was.
"Trish, forget it. I'll stay at a hotel for the entire nine months. I am not staying here. He doesn't want me here, I don't want me here." I told her, frantically through gritted teeth.
"No! Ally, please! He'll be nice! I'll make sure of it! He's not going to bother you!" Trish had a pleading look in her eyes. My jaw was set angrily. I looked at the tanned wall and shook my head slowly. I was grinding my molars together before I looked back at her desperate face. I guess I could put up with him. It's only nine months, not too tough...right?
"Alright," I resigned, sighing.
Trish was grinning now. She deserved her happiness and I was going to give her that happiness. Literally. I was going to carry it and then deliver it. I was going to feel it inside me and then I was going to go through the world's greatest pain just so she could have happiness. Yeah, I definitely made a mistake. I also deserve an award for this.
Trish and I threw the heavy suitcases on the bed. I glanced around the room. I could see that the bathroom was next to my room and I had a walk in closet. This place wasn't too bad for an apartment. I had nice white curtains in front of my window and the bed was double-size with a fluffy brown comforter. I had a lamp and digital alarm clock, plus a small piece of paper that read: Thank you! We love you, Ally! From, Trish and Dez! I smiled slightly.
I looked at Trish. She said, "If he gets to be too much, just kick him in the mouth." I laughed slightly at her. I really hope I could one day. "Don't be shy here either, make yourself at home. I promise he'll lighten up on you. Hopefully." Trish gave a nervous smile.
I shook my head and followed her towards the door. I didn't want her to leave, but the drive from the airport to the apartment was pretty long and tiring. We both needed our sleep. It was already nearly eight p.m.
Trish slipped into her shoes again. She found Austin's eyes from across the room. "I am finally getting what I've always wanted...Don't wreck this for me." Trish seethed.
"Aye! Aye! Captain!" Austin mock saluted. She glared at him for a moment before turning back to me with a smile.
"Be ready at noon tomorrow. The consultation is at 1." she bubbled.
"It's tomorrow?" I gawked, eyes wide. Trish nodded. The only reason I didn't freak out and start losing my mind was because Trish's eyes were sparkling with wonder and happiness. I wasn't going to wreck that. I guess we just have to pray that this worked so she didn't get her heart broken again. I swallowed my feelings of hesitation and nodded slowly, forcing a smile.
"Thank you again, Ally, so much. As much as I've told you how grateful I am, I don't think you truly know just how much." Trish said, smiling. I smiled back at her.
"Anything for you to be happy." I told her. She nodded and hugged me goodbye.
"Remember, noon!" she chimed as she left the apartment and scurried down the hallway. I slowly shut the door. I turned around and saw Austin watching me.
"What?" I snapped.
He lifted his arms in self-defense. "Sorry, Sorry. Didn't peg you much for a sensitive one."
I shook my head, grunting. I didn't have time for people like him. I didn't even dismiss myself as I walked back to my bedroom, ignoring Austin's teasing Aw, Don't even wanna socialize?!
I was exhausted and I needed to think about everything going on. I mean, I was going to be pregnant probably by next week. This was a lot to take in. I probably should've done my thinking all month, but I hadn't. I had pushed it away. I plopped down on the bed and sighed. I stared at the ceiling. This was going to be a long nine months.