Baking Allergies: An Avengers Oneshot

Steve loved to bake. Cakes to cookies, he'll make anything. His fellow Avengers love his baking too, although Tony likes to tease him for it. But he shows that he appreciates Steve's treats by keeping all the baking supplies stocked and even bought him two ovens to use just for baking.

Sometimes Natasha helps him bake when she's not on a mission. She's almost as good as Steve. He's always giving her pointers. Or having a flour fight. Or fending off Clint and Tony, so they don't eat all the cake batter or cookie dough. One time Steve had gone to the bathroom and when he came back he caught Clint eating his cake batter. That was one crazy scene seeing Captain America in an apron chasing after Hawkeye with cake batter all over his face. When Steve caught up with him, Clint told him that he was getting it for Tony. Later on he overheard Tony asking Clint why he didn't get the batter. He now has Jarvis alert him if Clint or Tony is in the area.

Today Steve decided to make peanut butter cookies. He laid out the ingredients and supplies and set the oven to 325°. Then he put the ingredients in the bowl and mixed them together. Steve was so into his mixing, he didn't hear Bruce come up behind him.

"Hey Steve," Bruce said.

"Oh, hey Bruce. Didn't see you come in," Steve said, putting down the bowl.

"Unlike Thor, I can make a quiet entrance," he chuckled."What are you making today?"

"Peanut butter cookies,"

"Sounds good. When will they be ready?"

"In about 30 minutes. They take 15 minutes to bake but I would wait for them to cool."

"Just in time for dinner. Hopefully Thor doesn't eat all of them this time!"

"I know right. I think we might have to put him on a cookie limit! Do you want to help me cut out the cookies? Usually Natasha helps me, but she's on a mission," Steve said.

"Okay, but they're not going to be perfect circles like yours But Natasha came back from her mission earlier. I had to patch her up. That's where I was coming from. She's probably relaxing until dinner."

"Guess she won't get to try the cookies until dinner. And don't worry about having irregular shaped cookies. They'll taste the same as perfect circle cookies."

"I'll take your word for it. So, what do you do cause I don't know anything about making cookies. My cousin Jennifer tried to teach me once, but it was a disaster. Let's just say I'm not allowed anywhere near her oven and baking supplies."

"Are you saying that I should reconsider?"

"No, but I'm just saying I need help."

"Oh, well then-um let's get started then Bruce. Well wash your hands first."

"So what do you do?" Bruce asked while washing his hands in the sink.

"You take the dough out of the bowl and roll it out with a rolling pin. Then you take a cookie cutter and press it down in the dough to get the shape of the cookie. Next yo-"

"Can you slow down a little bit. I'm only on taking the dough out of the bowl."

"Sure! Okay then you roll the dough out with the rolling pin like this. You want it to be flat but not to flat. See."

"Okay it's flat. Then we take a cookie cutter right; and push down in the dough."

"Yea and once we use up all the dough we will put them on the tray with the wax paper and put them in the oven."

"Okay that sounds simple enough."

So the the superhero bakers continued cutting out the cookies until they were all out of dough. Then they put the cookies on the trays and put them in the oven. Bruce asked Jarvis to set a timer for 15 minutes. While they were waiting for the cookies to bake, Steve and Bruce started talking about how Tony sings to his bots at night. And how they could hear him singing to his bots, but can't hear when their is an explosion. Or how Clint is always climbing in the vents. He once accidentally dropped into Natasha's room while she was sleeping. He barely made it out alive. Well he made it out with a bullet in his shoulder, courtesy of Natasha. Steve said that he should have learned his lesson about climbing in the vents. Yet he still does. Then suddenly Clint just drops out a vent.

"HOLY SHIT CLINT! How long have you been up there?" asked Bruce. He was so close to hulking-out.

"Language Bruce!" Steve exclaimed. "But seriously Clint, what the hell! Bruce could have hulked-out! What were you thinking?"

"Well I thought it would be funny to see y'all shit your pants! Don't you dare say anything about language Cap! Hell is bad language word too." Clint said trying to laugh. He was failing.

"Again Clint, how long have you been up there?" Bruce asked again.

"Long enough to hear about Tony singing to his robots and me climbing in vents," Clint said.

"Sorry but it's creepy. I feel like somebody's watching me while I'm sleeping," Bruce said. "It's un-nerving."

"Well ask Tony to make the vents to your room smaller. That's what Natasha did after she shot me. I don't think Tony will mind since you're his favorite," Clint explained.

"You can do that!" Steve said.

"I'm not sure he'll do it for you without convincing, but you can ask," Clint said.

Then the timer for the cookies went off. Steve grabbed the oven mitts and opened the oven door. As soon as he opened it, the scent of the cookies just took over the kitchen. Then he reached in and grabbed a tray of cookies.

"Bruce, please make sure Clint doesn't eat any cookies while I get these other trays," Steve said.

"Okay."

"Hey! I can be patient and wait for them to cool before I take a bite out of them!" Clint said.

"We all know that you can't," Steve said while taking out more cookies.

"Who can't do what, Steven?" asked Thor who had just walked in. "Ooh are those cookies?"

"No, they're cupcakes," Clint said sarcastically."Why did you come to the baking kitchen? There aren't any Pop Tarts here."

"Well I was coming from the training room and couldn't find anyone, so I asked Jarvis where you all were. He said that Tony was in his lab, Natasha in her room, and that everyone else was here. So I came here. And by the way Clint, those are the flattest cakes of the cups I have ever seen. Why are they not in the cakes of the cups pan. Jane made me some once and they wer-"

"He was being sarcastic Thor. It was a joke," Bruce quickly explained."And yes Steve did make cookies."

"You helped to Bruce," Steve said. "Don't give me all the credit."

"Fine."

"When will these cookies be okay to eat, Steve?" asked Clint.

"In about 5 minutes."

"Did someone say cookies? Cause I could have sworn someone said something about cookies!" Tony said.

"Oh here comes another one," Clint said.

"Were y'all have a cookie party without me. Cause that's rude. I had this whole kitchen made just for you to bake Steve and you don't invite me to eat cookies with y'all. Cruel," Tony said. "Just cruel."

"It's not a "cookie" party on purpose Tony. Everyone just came down here and stayed," said Bruce.

"Hey, you were supposed to helping me with a project in the lab, Bruce. I ask Jarvis where you are, and he says that Bruce is helping Steve make cookies in the baking kitchen. Then he says Barton and Thor were up there too. I feel left out," Tony says.

"Oops," says Bruce."I forgot."

"Are the cookies done yet?" Natasha asks. She sat down on a barstool next to the island.

"How did you know we we making cookies?" asked Clint who went over to sit by Natasha. "Wait when did you get back?"

"A couple hours ago," she said.

"What! Did anybody else know that?"

"Bruce and Tony knew," Natasha said."Only because I went down there for patch up."

"Clint, Thor just said that she was home a couple minutes ago," Bruce said."Weren't you listening?"

"Apparently not. Anyways can we eat the cookies now? They smell good," Tony asked.

"Yea, I was going to save them for dinner but I guess we can go ahead and eat them. Dig in!" Steve said.

"Who will be the taste tester this time?" asked Thor.

"I say Bruce. He never tries them first," says Tony.

"You want to taste it this time Bruce?" Steve asked.

"Sure."

So Bruce grabbed a cookie and took a bite out of it. He chewed for a little bit, drawing out the suspense. His teammates were waiting for what felt like an eternity(it was only like a couple seconds) for him to swallow it.

"It's good."

Those were the only words everyone needed to hear. They all reached for a cookie. Everyone taking a bite before Steve told them what kind of cookies they were.

"These are peanut butter cookies!"

Natasha stopped mid chew of her second bite.

"Peanut Butter cookies?" she asked

"Yes, Nat the man just said they were Peanut Butt- FUCK! Peanut allergy!" Clint said."Where do you keep your epi-pens?!"

"In my room on the shelf wit duh res 'f m' edicine."

Clint quickly ran to the stairs. The elevator would take to long.

"Wait a minute are you allergic to peanuts?" Steve asked.

Natasha just nodded in reply. Her face was already swelling and her hands were breaking out in hives. Bruce ran over to her to make sure she kept breathing until Clint got back with her Epi-Pen.

"Natasha I need you to keep breathing. Clint's getting your Epi-Pen. You can't die on us today, not today," Bruce told her.

"Jarvis call the hospital and S.H.I.E.L.D." Tony said.

"Sir an ambulance is on it's way and S.H.I.E.L.D is on the line." Jarvis replied.

"Thor will you fly Natasha over once Clint gets the Epi-Pen." Tony said.

"Yes."

"Okay Steve let's go talk to Fury," Tony said.

"Fury here. What do you want Stark?" Fury asked in his Fury way."Hello Captain Rogers."

"Did you know Natasha was allergic to peanuts?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"You could told us. Steve might have potentially, accidentally killed her with some Peanut Butter cookies!"

"You killed one of my best agents with a damn peanut butter cookie Rogers?"

"I'm sorry sir. I had good intentions. Clint's getting her an Epi-Pen as we speak and Dr. Banner is trying to keep her breathing. She's not dead. She just could die."

"I'm this close to killing all of you fucking assholes!"

While Fury was chewing out Tony and Steve, Bruce was doing CPR on Natasha who had stopped breathing. Thor was destroying anything that had peanuts in it, and Clint was racing down the stairs to get to the kitchen. He finally made it what Epi-Pen in hand. He gave to Bruce who quickly stabbed it into Natasha's thigh. He continued doing CPR until she started breathing on her own again. Then Thor cradled Natasha in one of his arms and used the other to hold Mjolnir. He crashed through the window and started flying towards the hospital. Tony and Steve finished talking to Fury who said S.H.I.E.L.D would meet them there. Tony decided everyone would be taking the sky route.

"Okay I'm going to fly you three over to the hospital in the Iron Man suit okay."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Bruce.

"Absolutely."

"Not!" said Steve."We'll take a car."

"No cars that will take too long. We're flying."

"No we aren't."

"Too late, my suits already here. C'mon," Tony said grabbing Steve and Bruce pulling them along. He got into the suit and grabbed their arms and flew towards the hospital.

"You forgot Clint Tony!" Bruce yelled when they were about a fourth of the way to the hospital.

"No, Clint's taking a different suit. That's kinda of sad that you just remembered him now."

"We were two busy arguing with you!" Steve said.

"I'm offended you two," said Clint. He was donned in an Iron Man suit.

"Care to take a passenger?" Tony asked.

"Sure. I'll take Cap."

"Meet you at the hospital Legolas."

The doctors were already waiting for Thor to arrive. As soon as they saw him, they directed him to the rendezvous point. He placed Natasha on the stretcher and the doctors wheeled her away inside. One of the doctors led him to a waiting room. Soon the other avengers walked in. Why were there two Iron Mans or Iron Men he didn't know. Bruce and Steve looked horrible. They were waiting for like an hour in silence until one of the doctors came to the waiting room.

"Ms. Romanoff is stable and will make a full recovery. She is awake right now if you would like to go see her," the doctor said.

All the avengers ran after the doctor. It was a surprise he wasn't trampled. It was easy to spot her room because it had S.H.I.E.L.D agents outside. Clint threw open the door and ran over to her side. She was still a little pale but other than that she was fine.

"How you feeling Nat?" Clint asked her.

"Better," she said. Then she looked at everyone else in the room. "Thanks guys. For saving me."

"This wouldn't have had happened if I told everyone what kind of cookies they were," Steve said guiltily.

"It's not your fault Steve. I should have told everyone about my allergy. What if Clint wasn't there. You might have not figured out what was wrong with me. I really would be dead. If it's anybody's fault, it's mine," Natasha said.

"I'm still going to make it up to you."

"No need," she said with a smile."Thank you for doing CPR Bruce."

"No problem. That's my job to keep you people alive for as long as I can when you're not doing it," he said.

"Thank you for calling Fury, Steve and Tony. Maria told me that he chewed you two out!"

"They were here?" Tony asked.

"Yea. They left a couple minutes before you came in. That's the only reason I know about what y'all did."

"We dodged a bullet then," Tony said elbowing Steve.

"Thank you Thor for flying me here."

"It was an honor Lady Natasha."

"And last but not least, Clint, thank you for noticing I was having an allergic reaction and getting my Epi-Pen."

"I'll always be there for you."

"Can I say something?" Thor asked.

"Sure Thor," Natasha said.

"For taste testing anything now, we must say what it is and if there are peanuts in it!"

"I agree. And I will make sure I'll keep an Epi-Pen on my person at all times," Natasha chimed in.

"And?" Clint said.

"I will tell you about my health problems in the future."

"We are thankful for that," Bruce said.

"And no more of those wretched peanuts. I shall destroy them immediately!" Thor cried out. He ran out the room and the hospital and flew off.

"There is going to be so many dent marks, broken shelves, and Thor sized holes when we get home isn't there," Tony said.

"Yes, yes there will Natasha said.

Author's Note: First Avengers Fanfic! So excited! Reviews welcome.