Disclaimer: I don't own a thing in the HP world.
A/N: Well, this has been sitting on my computer since forever. Not really that funny I'm afraid but I do so hate to waste ideas. It's rather on the short side.
"No," Remus said firmly as he took one look at what Sirius was holding. As if it wasn't bad enough Sirius had convinced James it was a good idea to throw a baby shower for that…thing, Remus refused to house it as well.
"But Remus," Sirius whined, leaning across the back of the red futon Remus was sitting on, "just look at him, with his cute little nose and mischievous smile." He gave a lopsided grin and shot an adoring look at the tiny bundle he had placed in Remus' arms. "He's got your eyes you know, an innocent golden brown."
Remus gave him an incredulous look, the corners of his mouth turning down in a frown. "Are you kidding? You're comparing me to that…thing?" he asked struggling for the right words to describe the wiggling thing in his arms.
Sirius looked affronted and carefully picked up the bundle from Remus' arms. "Remus, don't talk that way about our baby!" He tickled the baby's chin and kissed the upturned nose. "He didn't mean that little guy," Sirius cooed to the baby. "Your daddy's just a little grumpy he didn't get his morning tea."
"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed very near to shoving his dear friend out of his apartment in sheer frustration. "Will you cut that out and get rid of it?"
"No!" Sirius exclaimed defensively as he held the bundle to his chest. "I adopted him and you can't just unadopt him. Do you want our baby to grow up with a complex?"
"I think you're the one with the complex," Remus muttered as he tossed himself into his couch. He closed his eyes, blocking his view from the pastel blues and soft yellow decorations that were left over from Sirius' impromptu baby shower.
The spot on the couch dipped under Sirius' weight as his friend sat down, the wriggling baby in his arms making the occasional gurgling sound. "Oh come on Remus, you know how you've always mentioned about wanting kids. Well…" he trailed off and Remus cracked open his eyes to be confronted by two pairs of large begging eyes.
"Fine," Remus sighed and Sirius cracked a wide grin.
"Do you hear that? We're going to keep you and raise you as our own," Sirius cooed, hugging the bundle and playfully shaking the baby rattle at him. "You'll be the smartest boy ever, isn't that right Daddy Remus?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Remus agreed, consigning himself to having another occupant in his apartment for a very long time. "But we're not naming that pig Sirius Jr."