It is the work of the Valar, the music of Ea, and thus all is attributed to Him.
She inhaled deeply the sweet fresh air, and exhaled slowly.
A new day.
"It is beautiful," she said to no one. And yet my heart is heavy. A nightingale, somewhere, began its morning song.
A chittering sound from above caught her attention and smiling, she looked up towards a smaller branch. "Good morning, my friends."
For many weeks she has observed the nest of two mud-brown birds creating a home of their own on the smaller branches of the mallorn tree near her talan. It mildly annoyed her at first, but the couple soon piqued her interest and eventually watching them became the highlight of her day. There are now three hatchlings in the nest along with the couple, and they are currently making their opinions concerning the rate of incoming breakfast known.
"You seem to have a busy day today I see," she chuckled to the proud father who immediately burst into a song, chattering cheerfully.
In turns, the parents sought out for the young in tireless pursuit of nourishments for their growth. Soon, she knew, the same parents will show these hatchlings how to fly.
It was a tranquil morning, one for past reflections.
And her mind flew...
-
I awoke to a sunny day,
and there they were by my side,
-----
Once, she was an elfing.
One exasperating elfing with her Ada at her beck and call, her Nana hovering nearby, keeping her safe and happy. Even at a young age, she was never one to back down from a fight, nor is she one to normally abide to "because everyone does" theory. Oh, no, she'd question everyone her way relentlessly, seeking knowledge, always wanting to know what's behind a leaf, unoverturned stones, the other side of the mountain.
Or what's at the top of the tallest tree.
It was Aegnor's, her elder brother's fault for daring her to climb and whooping for all he's worth about the wonderful sights 'up there!'. Not that he had climbed the tree before; she knew it to be one of his certain 'possibilities'. Rolling her eyes even now, when she is an old married elleth with several grandchildren, the fond annoyance she had of Aegnor still remained.
They were quite close, being the closest at that age. At the time she wasn't keen on 'womanly things'. When one grew up in a family of ellyns, one surely is either indulged beyond redemption or learned survival skills that would rival even her husband's. She was always made fun of for disliking harm upon other living creatures.
"How did you think venison got onto our table, pen-neth?"
She, like all of her brothers, was bold and adventurous. And quite competitive and cheeky, when together, as one memorable event illustrated.
It was quite an enticingly climbable tree. The branches are quite close together, and the texture of the tree bark is such that tempted even the most sensible of elfings. It was as if the tree had-on purpose- moulded itself to suit the elfing's needs.
Aegnor, being a show off, succumbed to the seduction the first chance he got.
"Naneth says that we shouldn't be this far deep into the woods, and so did Ada."
"So they did."
"He said...he said he'd punish us for sure"
"I'll survive mucking up the stall. This is certainly worth every shovel." rang the casual reply seemingly from the divine above.
"I'll tell them."
"Please do! I care naught!"
All elfings were told to never climb too high, lest they would fall. Though the skill of stealth and so forth is the paramount of elves' formidable reputation, it is not inborn. It takes proper training and years of practise. Needlessly said, elfings and trees with no proper means of heading upwards crafted by elven hands is not to be trifled with. Immortal as they are, they can die of injury, not a good idea when you've barely matured as an elf.
Artanis watched her brother made her way up nimbly, as if it pertained not a single conscience thought.
"Hey, Artane! Look!" and Aegnor's head popped through some of the leaves, grinning. "You can't catch me!" and he disappeared.
"Aegnor, Naneth said..."
"Oh, you're saying that because you're jealous. You're too scared to come up here yourself!"
"Am not!"
"Am to!"
"Am not!"
"Then come up here and prove it then!"
She bristled of the thought of being considered as such. Scared? She? She'll show him! Giving the potential handgrips and footholds a calculating look, she hooked her right hand on a crease on the bark that looked just right and began to ascend.
'One at a time, Artane. One at a time.' She told herself. Slowly, and surely fear crept into her heart. She looked down, after a while.
She gulped.
"Eru!" she heard her brother swore "Artane, I'm already up here! The view's wonderful!" the piping exultation of his voice unmistakable.
Her resolve rehardened. There is no way in Valinor she'd let Aegnor win.
"Come on, Artane, you're nearly here! You really must see this!"
'One at a time, Artane. One at a time.' Her arms
were beginning to feel strained, due to the unfamiliar exertion of pulling her weight upwards and she could feel her neck muscles taut. It's getting painful to climb further. She gathered up as much as she could and reached for the next indentation in the wood to use as leverage.
Her sweating palms had served as a sort of lubrication, making it harder for her to grip. She placed her fingers around it, and tentatively pulled her weight up...and slipped.
She fell...
It felt wondrous. She lost all thought, all pain, and everything was blank, except for the glorious feel of flying and weightlessness.
The she hit the ground, the impact making her body bounce slightly, and the unmistakable crack of snapping bone.
"Artanis!"
As she was groaning audibly, the coward Aegnor fled and could not be found for hours. Luckily, Finrod was nearby and heard her cries, running to her aid albeit a bit too late.
-
they laughed with me when times are high,
they held me close when I felt alone,
-----
She broke her left calf bone, her right arm as it was the first part of her than impacted the ground, and bruised a few ribs.
Ada was furious.
After wringing the whole story off both of them after Aegnor was found, her Ada had her brother, mucking up the stables for a week for that. She had to pour over the boring lessons, not the history lessons about the great elves she loved, but THE boring stuff she wouldn't have touched willingly otherwise -ladies etiquette- for a week.
She plotted revenge.
The healing process was swift, and being young helped her heal quicker than any mortal is capable, but it did not make it any less painful. Naneth sat up by her bed the whole time, keeping her safe and comfy. She was in a healing sleep at the time, but asleep or no, there were always the feel of warm hand caressing her forehead lovingly, comforting whisperings which promised love and security always.
Nana always worries so. She could sleep, knowing that everything would be all right.
Somehow only Ada and Naneth can make it seem that way. Even when the shadow grew, other than Celeborn's strength, she drew hers from the memories of her childhood in Valinor.
-
they taught me 'twas ok to cry,
and that my talents are worthy to hone,
----
"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the nasty cave.
down came the rain and washed the spider out
the itsy bitsy spider eats some nasty orc,
but some nasty little person stabbed it in the gut!" childish singing in a rather off-key manner, broke the equilibrium of morn.
"Cease the horrible howling!" roared Aegnor, followed by a not-so-distant "Artanis, lower your song, saes!" by Finrod.
"Snooty balrog sat on the wall,
snooty balrog had a nasty fall,
come the balrog slayer who slew his fiery head,
thus the balrog and the balrog slayer lie dead."
"SHUT UP!" roared three male voices in unison.
"NANA!" a tiny golden ball of energy rushed by, tearful.
Finrod looked up from his studies, his gaze upon his younger brothers with disdain, "Must you be so harsh on her?" The unspoken now-you-did-it-naneth-will-scold-us.
"She wails so," complained Orodreth, the scholar in the family. "I cannot concentrate."
Angrod, who was reading about the peculiarities of squirrels agreed. "I agree. I love our sister, brother, but you must admit, she is annoying at times."
"Plus she's a girl," retorted Orodreth.
"That does not mean that you may treat her any less that you would anyone else," he snorted. His brothers looked at each other guiltily. "Plus, you will now have to be wary of her tricks of revenge."
The three brothers were silent for a while, and then laughed. "Artanis? Pranks? Nay, she is not capable of such things."
"What about the time you 'happened' to get wet walking under the washingellith's balcony on a non-washing day?"
"The washing ellith was being industrious, I am sure."
"The time Father found out about your escapades with squirrels at night after you hid her doll." the brothers guffawed at the mention.
"I was a bit clumsy," his face was growing red.
"What about Amroth's sudden kinship with the trees?" Soon after Artanis was well again, the said elf belatedly discovered that his shampoo was contaminated with dye, but was unable to do anything about it. His hair was green for months.
Artanis had claimed innocence, and there is nothing that Amroth could prove against her. The brothers shuddered in the memory.
"Even if she is resourceful, she's incapable of anything of large significance," said Angrod with conviction.
"That's because she charms you with her radiant smile and drops worms in your tunic," replied Finrod.
Angrob flushed. "It was my fault that I rolled in the grass with Orodreth."
"I am sure that the worms happened to be inside your tunic were inspecting your lean elfin muscles."
Orodreth roared in laughter.
--------
"Nana!" Artanis tugged on her Naneth's skirts, wanting attention.
"Yes, meleth nin? What is the matter?" Earwen stopped her sewing when she saw Artanis's tears.
"Aegnor, Finrod, Angrob yelled at me when I was singing."
"Weren't they in the study working on their lessons?" she smiled at her wilful daughter, watching her eyes widen.
"Yes, Naneth."
"Then you know that they need nothing to disturb them, as their lessons, as you will find one day is not easy for them."
"But... but...they won't play with me, and they yelled!" Artanis flailed her arms, wanting Nana to see her side.
"At all times, Artane, we need to respect others time or need for anything. Right now they are busy, but I am sure they have never refused to play with you when they have nothing in their mind, did they not? Didn't Finrod play hide and seek with you, or Orodreth joined your tea parties, and Angrob read you stories at night?"
"Yes, Naneth," comprehension came to her yet undeveloped mind.
"I agree with you that they shouldn't have yelled at you, and of that I will speak to them, but have consideration, will you meleth nin?"
"Yes, Naneth. And thank you," she said politely back. Earwen kissed her only daughter's forehead.
"Now, go play with your dolls in your room," and she saw Artanis skipping back, her cheer restored.
'My dear children,' Earwen shook her head in resignation and she returned to making her tapestry of her beloved family.
--------------
Finrod gave them an I-told-you-so look. Angrob and Orodreth pretended not to notice. Naneth has spoken to them-at length about their treatment of their sister. Earwen was never the one to reprimand harshly, but to them every single gentle word is as good as one anyways.
"Don't say it," said Orodreth.
"I didn't say anything, did I?" Finrod replied. They walked together to Artanis's room, knowing that she was last seen playing with her dolls there.
"You were about to," accused Angrob.
"As you wish," Finrod shrugged.
They stood at her door, feeling rather guilty. She was being irritating, but it was no way to tell a child off.
"You go first," motioned Orodreth to Angrob.
"Excuse me, who yelled at her?"
"All of us did," snorted Finrod, and as the eldest, he knocked the door.
"Come in," came a cheerful reply. He opened the door.
"Oh, hello Finrod. Angrob. Orodreth. May I help you?" they each came in looking positively guilty. Only Finrod looked calm.
"What is it that you are having, Artane?"
"Dora and Haliel are dancing in a ball, would you like to join?" she answered. Finrod smiled.
"Maybe another time, little one. We came here for a different purpose," he gave a glance to Orodreth, whole passed a look to Angrob. Orodreth sighed, and kneeled in front of Artanis to let her see levelly with him.
"Artane, we would like to apologise for yelling at you just now. It was wrong of us, but we were busy then and could not play with you," Artanis blinked.
"Yes, had you waited for a while we wouldn't have minded to play with you after our work in done," Angrob added. She smiled, and hugged Orodreth as he is the nearest and kissed his cheek.
"It's ok. I have forgiven you," she said and kissed each brother on their cheeks. "Now would you play with me now?"
"Gladly," replied Orodreth, his heart now light. The brothers would never admit it afterwards, but all especially Artanis had cherished that particular moment dearly, when her brothers, warriors-in-training would play dolls with her.
-
despite the hurdles thrown our way,
their strength is of which I do abide,
----
Artanis grew up into an intelligent, strong-willed elleth, well respected, well thought of, and admired greatly for her beauty. They even named her Altariel. How the ellyn wilted when she as so much as walk by, the ellith gnawed on their hearts when she came to balls and all eyes are on her, and nobody else.
Oh, how she loved it.
Finarfin worried and started to take 'measures', while Earwen smiled, remembering a certain time when her own father did likewise.
She excelled in not only her studies, but Finarfin indulged her wishes on learning to swim and to compete in swimming competitions, among others. Her riding skills are comparable to the warriors, but she shied away from the battlefield, liking not the art of war. Her brothers thought no more of it, satisfied that she won't be put under danger in any way.
She discovered that she inherited both her parents' gift of foresight, though they were in the form of dreams at first, gradually she learned to control it and saw many things within her mind, fragments of what there is to come.
She was content.
That is, until idle existence and the thirst for the new and unknown, as one hot-blooded youth is apt to feel chafed her. She was given a dream. A dream of vast lands with lush green vegetation, of creatures both tame and cruel, of the rumoured after born.
It definitely got her attention.
Then the host of Noldor decided to defy the Valar and began their long march to Arda.
She remembered the day she chose to continue and set out with all of her brothers; Finrod to Arda, the unknown beckoning irresistibly to her. The "what-ifs" and desire to become more than Artanis, daughter of Finarfin and Earwen, but to claim her place as one of the great elves in Arda grew with each passing day of the journey. Even the decision of her father to turn back did not perturb her.
"Artanis, numa!"
"No Ada, I must continue!" her eyes burned fervently, facing Finarfin in the eye. "I have seen it, Ada. Should I turn back, I would marry, have elfings, and be no more than your beloved daughter. Should I continue..."
"The road is fraught with danger, Artanis. Do not test the Valar's patience! They have given us a road to forgiveness, return with me Artane, saes."
"Fingon will be with me, Ada, as Orodreth, Aegnor, Angrob," she saw her father's saddened face as he faces the prospect of losing all of his children. "I seek your blessings, Ada."
After a long silence, he said "May you find what you seek, and that its' worth is equal to the sacrifice that you will make," and he held her close, tears running down his cheeks. Artanis was his final hope, and with her decision the separation of his children from him was complete.
Her brothers have sworn to continue the night before.
Earwen came to her tent the night before she followed her husband return to their home, bringing with her a small wooden box.
"Naneth?" She sat beside her daughter, expressionless and somewhat sad.
"I wish to speak with you, daughter."
"I won't change my mind, I wish to proceed with the journey," she said swiftly. Earwen cupped her daughter's cheek in one hand.
"I see great sorrow for you, Artane. I fear for the worst that might happen."
"All parents' worries borders on the lacking and the dangers, and not for the benefits." Her will was adamant.
"Ah, but you are young," she smiled sadly. "However, you are never known to back down from a challenge, are you Artane?" sighing, "I also see trials that when you succeed, you will reap greatness from."
Earwen handed her one and only daughter the small wooden box.
"What is this?"
"Open it," she smiled. Inside the box lay a silver circlet, encrusted with glittering diamonds.
"Naneth, this is..." passed from Mother to daughter and worn on their marriage ceremony, it was her Mother's family heirloom.
"And now it is yours," she closed the box in Artanis's hands gently. "Keep it safe, and when the day comes, wear it well. May the one your heart chooses know of my love to my daughter."
"Naneth?"
"Yes, pen-neth."
"I love you, and I love Ada," reminiscence of times long past when she was still an elfing, she hugged her mother, tears finally flowing down her cheeks.
"I love you too, meleth nin."
The first time she was ever away from her Ada and Naneth was the Great Journey. They took one last look at her, and never looked back. Neither did she, nor her brothers.
Earwen's words were true, as her Ada's. She has found what she sought, of which she sought at great and bitter price.
The Noldor is cursed.
Celeborn came into her life, giving her strength when she faltered. They married under the starlight, and she liked to think that her parents were under the same sky when she uttered her vows to cleave to him.
Finrod was lost. Her brothers faded into the tapestry of time, one by one dying from either battle wounds of various skirmishes fought against the Dark enemy.
She was alone.
She cannot go home.
-
In year TA 3021, on September 29th, The Three Keepers of the Elven Rings departed from the Grey Havens to sail to the Undying Lands, Galadriel having been given permission by the Valar to return.
-----
The ship's sails billowed in the breeze, the golden sun cheerfully bidding them welcome. Elves, mariners mostly were busily unloading the ship's contents, what belongings deemed dear enough to bring from Arda to stay forevermore in Valinor. The hustle and bustle of jovial banter in between the carrying of crates or the captain's bellows keeping order in the seemingly confusing transaction almost drowned the thoughts in her mind.
She misses Celeborn deeply; he would definitely have opinions on this seeming disorderliness. She smiled at the memory of him exercising his 'lordly powers'.
Maybe the alternative line of thought isn't appropriate, but...
Then, her eyes went wide suddenly; mixed emotions prevailed in her heart. The golden figure clad in a white cloak who stood on the deck almost disbelieving the sight that she beheld. There stood her Ada and Naneth, unshed tears in their eyes. Standing right beside Naneth was Finrod, smiling indulgently at her as he always had, and Angrob, Orodreth, Aegnor!
"Artanis!"
She gracefully walked as if floating to her family, belying her excitement. She stopped two steps away from them as she looked at them, her heart aching in centuries of pent-up yearning and flew into her Naneth's waiting arms.
'Home, I am finally home.'
-
We said not much, but I saw it in their eyes,
forever, always, I'll be in their hearts.
We were constantly at odds, they could barely understand,
but they'd cheer me from beginning till the end.
--------
I was rebellious, I was fey,
we had some crazy rollercoaster ride,
no matter how difficult they'd still try,
and tell me that my sins are forgiven,
told me to let my heart guide my way,
and told me of the sea's inconsistent tide,
no few times I ask myself why,
I act this way, their intentions questioned,
I remember still the words they say,
and the sorrow they tried to hide,
when I packed my things and said goodbye,
it was my time to walk on my own,
We said not much, but I saw it in their eyes,
forever, always, I'll be in their hearts.
We were constantly at odds, they could barely understand,
but they'd cheer me from beginning till the end.
Edited : With many thanks to Inglor on Elvish grammar!