Author's Note: This is just a one-shot story and so it's a guarantee that it's finished one. (I have this habit of not finishing my stories). Anyway, this story is about my theory of why the twins are so cynical to the world and why they have a little concern for everyone else…The one who's talking here is the twins but it is Kaoru who talks more since he's the thoughtful and perspective one.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Ouran High School Host Club characters
Please read before you go out of this story ^^
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Essence of "Which one is Hikaru-kun" Game
Before, we were always contradicting ourselves…that was a fact.
We wanted people know us better yet at the same time; we don't want them to know us better. We wanted people to socialize with us yet at the same time, we don't want them to socialize with us. But most of all, we wanted people to tell us apart as individuals, yet we don't want them to.
For this reason, we became cynical to the world, viewing the world around us as "apart from us". We would always play and relate with ourselves just because we don't play with others. But even as we play by ourselves, we would feel the lonely part of ourselves, the part that yearns for attention when we watched other children going about their social lives, playing and laughing. We became resentful of their complete social lives that when they try to socialize with us, we tend to drive them way with our cruel pranks or with our infamous game, the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game.
When we play the game to the other people, of course, none of them were able to win the game. None of them won because of the mere fact that they can't tell us apart. Because of this, we drove them away, never letting them socialize with us. People became scared, angry and frustrated at us and then, left us to "Our world", murmuring that we only socialize with each other because we only like each other.
But do these people ever asked themselves why we are cynical to the world and why we always play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game to them and leave them?
We'll answer that question…it's because…
There is already someone that can…tell us apart
We're not talking about Haruhi…this someone we're talking about had existed before Haruhi came into our lives, in fact, this person had been in our lives ever since we came into this world…
However, the sad thing is that…we don' know who that someone is.
It's weird, we know. I mean, how can we know that there is someone who can tell us apart if we don't even know what that person is? But still, we just knew.
Faded memories and strange experiences…that's were our notions came from.
Somewhere in our toddling years, we remembered that someone calls us by our right names. Oddly, we can't remember the face of that someone but we still can hear the voice but even the voice seemed very soft, like a distant dream. We also remembered that when one of us is hurt or depressed individually, that very same presence would comfort each of us, still individually, soothing us from our sadness. Maybe, that's why we, the twins, could recognize each other perfectly; we still recognize our separate identities. We owe it that presence because if there is really no one who could distinguish us apart, we are likely to become confused with our identities. Even still, we view ourselves two entities, yet one entity.
As we matured from toddlers to children, the memories faded quickly. It's sad since this is also the time when we began to realize that people can't tell us apart. When the time that we could already learn on how to fool other people with our identical looks came, it became clear to us that no one could distinguish us apart. In contrast though, there are incidences when one random maid or servant would catch up with us and scold each of us by our respective names for fooling people in a party or in home. Each time a maid or servant would do that, we were inwardly happy…it's because we thought that each maid or servant could be that someone who was always been with us since we were babies, someone who easily could tell us apart.
But then again, when we thought we finally found that someone, disappointment follows it. It seems that these maids or servant couldn't also tell who is who. They may have gotten it when they scold us…but when we ask them again in another time, they were making lucky guesses, we could see it in their eyes. For some time, these events keep on repeating and repeating that we both came to conclusion that there is someone that can truly distinguish us, only that this someone would not appear before us, it's like this someone watches from afar but doesn't enter into our lives.
We know that this is a strange notion but this notion is etched within our deepest conscious.
Before, we played the game because we wanted that someone to appear in our lives and play the game.
We were hopeful, ever searching for that special person to come into our lives and make us feel unique, that's why we played it.
But then, a maid broke that hope…
She was a maid that we liked; we came to like her because she was different from the others since she's being true to herself. Because of this, we tend to believe that she is the "special someone", we do believe that someone is her and soon, we wanted to prove it. We played the game with her.
Yet, what we expected did not happen, in fact, it was the other way around, and it was much worse.
She betrayed us.
Actually, we were really not hurt by the fact that she had stolen the treasure in our safe box or she broke our promise. No, we were not hurt by those facts. It was only her words that hurt us deeply.
Perhaps there will never be someone who can tell you apart.
Those were her words that struck us the most. At those words, all of our hope was shattered, the hope that someone could truly distinguish us apart for who we really are. At those words, our thoughts of meeting a person like that were drowned in the darkness of our world by that simple statement. Her cruel words made us believe that we were fools to believe that someone could actually distinguish us. Her words made us believe that it was only our loneliness that drove us to think that such person exists. It was her words that destroyed our separate identities.
From that time on, we never socialize with anyone else, not even with our parents…
Ah, our parents…they never seemed to be at home. Odd though, not even they could tell us apart and we thought that only parents could do that. We always played the game on Mother and it was always a hit or miss guess. To us, that hurt a lot. We never tried the game on Father though. It's because if Mother can't even win the game, how can Father do it? We think that Father can never tell us apart because he's somewhat a weakling, he'll never have the courage to tell us apart because he will know that he can never win the game.
Sometime after a month from the maid incident, we were asked by a girl around our age to come and play with her. We were still fresh from the horrible incident, still confused and unsure. We wanted to prove wrong of what the maid said yet we were really convinced by her words. To set our thoughts straight, we wanted the girl to play our game if she really wants to play with us.
But…the little girl's answer destroyed our last remaining hope, although it was done unintentionally. We almost cried that time. Her answer was a confirmation that the maid we liked was right.
There will never be someone who can tell you apart.
With these words, we grew up with just ourselves, never letting anyone near us. We put the barrier around us so that we could be protected from the pain of the fact that there would be no someone who can tell us apart. But even still, the hope that was shattered by the maid and by the little girl was still there but it was as shattered as ever. Maybe, this is why we still played the "Which ones is Hikaru-kun?" game despite of what had happened.
This kind of situation prevailed in our lives, from childhood to teenage hood, that is, until 2 years ago, some idiot of a lord came into our lives.
He some random person that popped out of nowhere, asking us to join his club. Actually, we were surprised that someone would dare befriend us and with such confidence. Thankfully, we masked our surprise with indifference. Anyway, one of us was able recognize him as the new student that transferred in Ouran and then, he began to ramble about how he had such an effect on others, which made us a little annoyed at him. He talked and talked until he made it clear that we're going to join his club. For the whole time, our annoyance grew until we interrupted him, if he really wants us to join his club, then he will have know us better and the only way to do that is to play our game.
We believed that after we said that, he will just shut up and leave us. Besides, who wants to play a game that is a lose-and-lose situation?
But he took up the challenge; he even said that after all of this, we will join his club.
We didn't believe his words yet at the same time, we believe in his words because that would mean that we will not be alone anymore. That is another contradiction.
The one-month game started.
We found out that he was very persistent in letting us join his club. We can sense it through his stupid comments and reasons. The reasons that he gave were very hilarious and at the same time, very insulting. We mean, were did he get the idea that Kaoru Hitachiin would walk pigeon-toed way? We were forced to listen to his reasons which absolutely made no sense at all, to us that is. Thankfully, the one-month game ended.
Still, he persisted and we find that irritating.
We were forced to say something that he wouldn't like, something that will push him away but still…
He persevered…
For once, we were shocked at him and even though he had not bothered after we rejected him, yet he came back barging in again into our lives. But this time, he wasn't blurting out nonsense just like before. In fact, he gave a pretty good advice, an advice that inwardly moved us in our hearts. As much as we want to deny the feeling, we were moved by his words. If his word did not, we would reject him and never bothered with his proposal. His words have such a big impact on our hearts since this made us think silently of the hope that we once have, the hope that there is really someone who could distinguish us for who we are.
Although this hope was shattered long ago, the Lord's words, somewhat healed this hope. He accepted us for who we are, different yet alike, but he was also quick to tell us that even though we are one, we will always be two. But the most that really moved us is the fact that his advice that if we will always stay in our own world, we will never find that person, that somebody. Though we maybe find it disappointing of trying out on people into playing the game and then, them failing at it, we think it's worth the pain and frustration. We were brought to our memories when we were asked by the girl that wanted to play with us. Though she lost the game, she still cares for us. That was enough to make us feel it's worth it.
We may be the same contradictory beings that the Tamaki made us to be, tending to believe such opposite ideas that there is really someone out there but we don't believe in it. We told ourselves that the reason why we joined the club is to toy with our customers and our host club members but the other reason is that we were starved for the sense of belonging. We told ourselves that the person we have been looking for was all a fake and that no one could really tell us apart despite the other reason that truly believed the Lord's words.
But even with all these contradictory thinking, there is one thing that is very clear.
The Lord's words gave us the strength to pick up the shattered hope and from that time, we played the game to entertain costumers rather than pushing them away. But still, the true objective of the game is still there, we still wanted to try out the game more than ever, just find that special person someday.
Later, we found something remarkable or rather, someone that completely healed our hope.
We found someone that could truly distinguish us apart.
He was a scholarship student, who came into Ouran because of his wonderful grades. Even with his commoner status, we were intrigued by him, we mean, this is the first time we ever seen a commoner up close, no matter how plain and boring he may be. This little interest was peak up when he accidentally stumbled into the Third Music Room, joined the host club and lastly, us finding out that he is actually a she.
Her name is Haruhi Fujioka.
Days later, she did something that shocked us inwardly…she told us apart, just like that.
It was an innocent gambling game of course. We just wanted to see her house but she wouldn't agree. And so, as the little devils that we are, we played the game that no one wins with her. That way, we can be assured of our victory. But…
She saw through our subtle differences, she distinguished us apart and thus, she won the game.
We were so shocked after that but we wouldn't' give up on the bet, and so we tried something else.
It seems she fell into our trap since at the end, she got in between us. We were so pleased with ourselves. Even she could be fooled with our games.
But the game that no one ever won…she was the first to win it.
Because of that, we grew fond of her. This fondness deeply stemmed from the fact that she is the living proof, the proof that there is really someone who could distinguish us apart.
She is the proof that the notions that we have are very true. She is the proof that the mystery person in our mansion actually exists. She is the proof that someone really cared for us when we were still toddlers. She is the proof that somewhere in the mansion, that someone exists.
And now more than ever, we wanted to find or we will find out that someone; we will play the game again and again.
- End?
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So, what do you think, is my theory acceptable? I hope so
Hehehe I just got inspired by the episode "The Door the Twins Opened"
Anyway, The mystery person here is someone who is close yet far…someone whom the twins may think the last person susceptible in their lives…Just guess ^_^ (I gave hints!!! and it's actually quite obvious -_-;)
Maybe, I would add another chapter that would reveal the mystery person's identity but for now, I leave it hanging…
REVIEW PLEASE, and…if you want to guess, just write it along your review…