G is for ?

by Motsie of Atlantis

At the wake for the woman who began to change his life as a child, Callen wonders what word other people would use to describe him. These were the people who made him who and what he had become. As he looked over those around him, he pondered the influence each had in his life - expanding my story 'D E F is for Team' because of requests to add to the alphabet and finish the team.

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G is for ?...?...?

At the wake for the woman who began to change his life as a child, Callen wonders what word other people would use to describe him. These were the people who made him who and what he had become. As he looked over those around him, he pondered the influence each had in his life.

Written as a response for 'ABC is for family', Gina Callen's entry in the Facebook Writers Challenge, the prompt being ABC, and expanding my story 'D E F is for Team' because I received requests to add to the alphabet and finish the team.

A/N: Thanks Gina for letting me use parts of your great story for this one. I just hope I do justice to your work as I try to carry on the idea and expand the alphabet for those around our agent/hero and thanks Sue for being more than a beta – reading, suggesting, always improving the work that I post.

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901 Bar and Grill, Los Angeles, California

Callen continued his mental gymnastics, wondering what word would be assigned to him by the other members of the team. Each one of them had a different relationship with him, and he supposed that each of them would choose a different word to describe him. Could he figure out what those words would be? He could try, not saying that he would be correct. He wished that he could just ask them, but then he would have to tell each of them the letter he used for them and why he chose that word. He just didn't know if he was willing to do that yet. Oh well, it was just speculation. It wasn't as if someone would write it down and have it printed for the world to read. Okay, he would just run with it and see where it would lead him.

G = Guarded

Callen started off the same place that he started with the previous letter assignments, Henrietta Lange. What 'G' word would he feel that she would assign to him. It was no contest. Knowing all the secrets that were contained in the operations manager's head and how he had to fight her to divulge those secrets, especially concerning his family, he was sure that she would call him 'guarded'.

G. Callen became a closely guarded individual a very early age. He remembered watching his mother look over and smile at him one day when he was at the beach. She waved at him and he went back to building his sand castle. Then some men came to talk to her. He heard a strange noise and looked for his older sister Amaliya, who was playing volleyball with some friends further down the beach. He looked back at his mother, and she seemed to have fallen asleep. One of the men who was talking with her came and gave him a painted lead soldier and said something to him, but he did not understand the words. The boy took the toy and immediately started to build a bigger sand castle, using the soldier to guard it.

As soon as they drove off, Amaliya came running up to him, grabbed his hand and took him across the road. On the other side, they hid in a spot where they could watch their sleeping mother. Amaliya told the boy that they were waiting for papa, who was coming to get them.

The afternoon was warm, and the boy fell asleep to his sister constantly telling him, "Don't talk to anyone. Don't let them know who you are. Don't tell them anything about mama, papa, or me. Do you understand? Promise me, little brother, that you will do this."

The child nodded his head and dozed off. From that afternoon on, his life became a blur of half-recalled memories. He never knew who rescued them from that beach, except it was not papa. How he came to live in a house with a lot of children, he never understood. All he knew was Amaliya was not there with him. So he became a very quiet little boy, never saying anything, always wary of the people around him.

Having been dumped into the custody of the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services, he bounced around from foster home to orphanage to group home and back. His outer body was abused and beaten throughout this process, but he had developed a hard inner shell to protect himself. No one wanted him because he was not the 'adoptable' type. He wanted nothing from anyone, and in this way, did not have to reveal anything about himself at all.

This was the boy that Henrietta Lange rescued from the police after he had stolen a car and wrapped it around a tree when he was fifteen. The tiny woman had her eye on the child for some time, because of her guilt. She was the one to whom Clara Callen, the boy's mother, had looked for help in getting her family out of Romania. Hetty had argued with her CIA superiors, trying to extract the family to safety. Clara had been a CIA operative, and Hetty had been her handler. Her target had been KGB major Nikita Alexandar Reznikov. Clara had fallen in love with the man and married him. Then she went dark for six years, only to appear with two children and wanting help to safely leave Romania. Hetty's superiors thought the operation was too great a risk. She was ordered to stand down and let the family suffer the consequences.

But now the former spymaster could make up for that failure. She could take the boy under her wing and tell him what she knew about his family, the biggest thing that was missing in his life. But she feared that if she told him everything, he would turn his back on her. He would reject her, just as he would have felt that she did to his family so long ago on that Black Sea beach. So Hetty divvied out the information in tiny bits and pieces, just enough to give him a few facts, but not enough for him to emotionally bond with anyone else but her. At this very day, all the tangible evidence that he had of his family for the past forty-some years was contained in a small tea box on the mantle of his home.

Callen was certain that Hetty knew more than what she had already revealed to him about his family. This lady knew everyone and everything, and if she didn't, she knew where she could find it. Is it any wonder that he would closely guard his feelings about family around her. Just a few months ago, he found out that his father was buried in a small cemetery in Ruza, just outside of Moscow. When he went to visit the grave, Callen realized that he had been in Moscow while his father was still alive. If only he would have known, so many of his questions would have been answered. But he had found out too late for him to do anything about it. How many more times would something like this happen? The agent would have to continue to guard himself around his operations manager. He needed to find out all she knew about his family, and he knew she would not provide him that information quickly.

. . . . .

G = Generous

Callen looked across the table from Hetty and saw Vikki Dalton, the daughter of Mrs. Alice Dalton, the woman whose life they were celebrating today after she had lost her final battle with cancer. The 'G' word that both she and her mother would use for him would be 'generous'. Both of them had thanked the young man for all the time that he spent with Alice in her final weeks, remembering younger, happier days.

The agent had met Vikki before she was even born, but neither of them had realized it when it happened. Alice was the assistant principal at Cerritos High School in the Unified ABC District when Callen was fourteen. The boy had been assigned to the school, but his foster family didn't provide him with the required uniform or transportation to the school. He was almost ready to blow the administrators off with their rules and regulations and run away again when he was called into Mrs. Dalton's office.

She saw something in the boy and fought all of his cynicism with concern. The vice principal found an extra uniform for him, and whatever else he needed to remain a student there. She saw his pride at refusing to take charity and gave him small jobs that he could do to pay off his debt.

That was the reason why he felt he had to answer the letter that Vikki had sent him. Her mother was dying of cancer and wanted to see him. She needed him to know that she did not blame him for breaking into her husband Paul's storage locker. He just did it to try and get her photo albums with pictures of her mother, Vikky's grandmother, that Paul was holding captive, back into her hands. This resulted in the only time the agent was jailed for a crime that he did.

Callen knew that he owed this woman a great deal, because she had begun to break down his walls. Through her he began to see that not everyone cared just about themselves. He wanted her to know how much he cared about other people now, devoting his life to helping those who needed him. When Alice found out how well he had turned out, a sense of peace came over her and she no longer felt that she had to hold on to take care of unfinished business. They talked for over an hour until Alice began to tire.

Vikki thanked him for coming and thought that would be the last time she would see him. But he asked if he could come back. The super busy man was taking time out of his life to spend time with a dying woman he last saw some twenty-five years ago. When Alice was too sick or too tired to talk, Callen spent time with her. Vikki was sure that it was his generosity that caused Hetty to promise to take care of all of Alice's medical expenses. His generosity, from him and the members of his team, flowing out to her and her mother made Vikki feel that she had family here.

. . . . .

G = "G"

This one was so easy that Callen did not even have to think about it. His partner, Sam Hanna's 'G' word would be his name. The big senior agent was the only one who called him "G", using it as his 'first' name. Nell did it too, but only when they were not working a case and were not within the OSP headquarters, but everyone else called him 'Callen', or if they were formal about it, they would add his title and address him as 'Agent Callen'.

But Sam had addressed him as 'G' almost from the day he met him, at least officially met him. Sam had extracted Miloslav Makarovich, a Russian pipeline contractor, out of Libya, while his SEAL team was deployed in the Mediterranean, shortly after 2000. The man was really Callen, a CIA operative at the time whose mission had gone bust. At the time, neither of them knew who the other really was. Only after Sam had joined NCIS did they find out the real identities of the other. But, because it was a CIA mission for Callen and a SEAL operation for Sam, it never officially happened, so they never met back then.

Sam was a Navy SEAL, having served three separate hitches on active duty. He was still on modified reserved duty with the rank of Senior Chief Petty Officer, because of his employment with NCIS. As such, he was used to reading the rank designators on a serviceman's sleeve, collar, or cover, and the name flash or nameplate above the right pocket. This is how he is used to calling people, by their rank and last name.

The only people he would dare to call by their first names would be the members of his family. This would include his blood relatives and the members of his team. Both the girls, Kensi and Nell, were his little sisters, and Eric was the techno-savvy brother he never had. Deeks was just Deeks, the name he preferred as a cop, and Sam agreed that 'Marty' just didn't seem to fit him.

So that just left their team leader. Callen was more than just the special agent in charge of the team. He was more than just Sam's partner. If you asked Sam which bond was closer, him and Callen at work or him and Michelle as husband and wife, he would be hard-pressed to give you an answer. It is true that the big man did not help pull his two children into the world from Callen's body. But, by the same token, he never held Michelle's head in his lap as he tried to staunch the flow of blood from five bullet holes in her chest. Sam had intimate knowledge of each of their bodies. He had used the skills that he learned as a medic in the SEALs to keep each of them alive and provide the best medical assistance that he knew to help the both of them. Each of them was helped in a different way, but each one was just as important to him and just as necessary in his life. Sam loved each of them in the way that they needed and would do whatever they needed from him, no matter how happy or alarming the situation.

Callen could just imagine the perplexed look on the doctor's face when he came out to give an update on the chief agent's most recent surgery.

"Family of G. Callen." he would ask, looking at the group in the waiting room.

A tiny little old lady and a huge black man would approach him and say, "That would be us."

"I'm his mother,' Hetty would declare.

"And I'm his brother," Sam would declare, with a look that just dared the doctor to question him about it.

Sam Hanna was his brother; there was no question about it. Even his daughter Kamran called him 'Uncle Callen', and he never was embarrassed about owning that title. They had been through hell together, had resigned from NCIS to have each other's back, would sooner see their own life end rather than let the other die. The two were so close that if one got hurt, the other would feel his pain.

Was there anyone else who be better entitled to call him 'G'? The big man could convey a whole sentence just in how he phrased that word. He could make it a question, telling his partner that whatever he just said or did was completely unbelievable, suspicious, or so out of this world that he had appeared to have lost his mind. Sam could turn it into a plea, trying to talk him out of some action that he thought would never work or would cause Callen irrefutable harm. He could say it with a smirk, agreeing with the way that he planned to do something. The big guy could use his name to mean, hello, goodbye, or any other form of greeting. And with all the time that they spent together, Callen had no trouble to understand what he was saying with this one letter. The name showed their bond, that is why it was the characteristic that Callen would assign to his partner.

. . . . .

G = Gallant

Kensi, the female member of the team, was at the back of the table, one hand scooping up the free pretzels out of the dish she had pulled in front of her, the other hand under the table. The team leader could tell that her hand wasn't by her side or in her lap, Her fingers were intertwined with those of her partner who was seated next to her. Callen knew that if he would have really tried harder, her fingers could have been intertwined with his, instead of their detective liaison. But he had taken the high road with the team, keeping everything on a professional level. After one of their operations, she called him her gallant knight, rushing in to save the damsel in distress. Therefore, the 'G' word that Callen would associate with her would be 'gallant'.

It wasn't as if the young woman needed to be saved, at least not very often. Kensi grew up as a Marine brat, living with her dad on various Marine bases throughout the US. Her father taught her all the skills she needed to survive, in the field and in life. After her dad was murdered, those skills kept her alive out on the streets for a full year when she was only fourteen. It was that unique combination of skills that Kensi had learned, from her father and from life, that caused Hetty to offer her a job at OSP.

There are thousands of miles of beach along the California coast. Several of their cases involved surveillance or meetings on the beach. Kensi was usually decked out in a bikini so she could get close enough to read the lips of the suspects as she blended in with the other bikini-clad young women there. If they needed a diversion, a young woman in a bikini bumping into the subject would not be beyond the realm of possibilities. Now Callen could be accused of male chauvinism, especially since there was another member of the team that he could use. But the diversion that they would get with Sam showing up in a bikini and bumping into the suspect, would be entirely different, and not conducive to helping solve the case.

The same was true when they needed someone to crawl through the air handling ductwork of major buildings. Both Sam and Callen were too big to negotiate the twists and turns that were experienced. Kensi's smaller and more limber frame allowed her to go where the others could not.

Callen had taken the female agent aside shortly after she graduated from FLETC and warned her that she would have to do things like this, He also told her that he wasn't doing it to her because she was the newest member of the team or because she was a woman. He showed her that it was her unique qualifications that would cause him to choose her for these situations, and if she ever thought it was for other reasons, she could call him on it. She appreciated the decency with which he presented this and accepted his explanation.

She even understood whenever Callen appointed her to take the overwatch position. She knew that she was the best sniper on the team, but she still envied the guys when they broke down the doors and cleared the premises. She couldn't fault them, especially Callen, on their unflinching attitude in battle, but sometimes wished that she could work out her badassed mood along with them.

Callen's concern and gentleman-like way of dealing with her helped her a lot when they had to go undercover as a husband and wife team. He again talked to her before they assumed their roles. They might have to show signs of affection to sell their covers, hugs, kisses, dreamy looks deep into the other one's eyes. But Callen warned her that she had to compartmentalize these thoughts. It was not Callen dealing with Kensi, it was their two aliases dealing with each other. No matter what they did on a mission, it was just for the mission. He would do everything he could help keep her grounded in who she really was, but sometimes it was difficult to remember that they were only acting a part, especially when each of them could pull off the part as well as they could do.

There had been one case where they had to portray themselves as lovers who were getting together again after a three-month absence. Eric had told them that their hotel room had been bugged with audio and video surveillance, including cameras in the bedroom. The two of them realized that they couldn't just fake it, but they also knew that it was just sex for the camera and not making love for the heart. They were completely grateful that Eric cut the feed to Ops and there was no record of what actually went on. Both of the agents understood that what they did was only for the case and had nothing to do with their emotions.

When that operation was over, Callen met with Kensi at a bar. He knew about her issues with people abandoning her and wanted to make sure that she did not understand this operation as heading in that direction. She assured him that she knew that there was nothing there between them and so, she could never think of his abandoning her. His compassion and concern for her brought a smile to her face and a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you for being so chivalrous," she whispered in his ear, and that was the last time it was ever mentioned between the two of them.

. . . . .

G = Ghost

Callen looked again at the back of the table, at one person whose eyes indicated that he was somewhere else besides sitting there with the rest of the team. Detective Marty Deeks was technically not a member of Callen's team because he was not an employee of NCIS. He was a Los Angeles Police detective who was assigned as liaison between the two organizations. Since he looked so young, his main job at LAPD was doing undercover operations. After Hetty had recruited him to join the team, he was surprised that Callen was the one who had done most of the undercover operations for the team. Throughout the first few months he worked with the team, the reputation that he heard about the team leader was 'Ghost'. That was the legend he had throughout NCIS and most of the previous organizations he had previously worked for. That would be the "G" word that the detective would use for him.

Callen knew that Deeks thought that their shared experiences would be a natural connecting point between the two of them. The younger man complained how the LAPD sent him out, most of the time with only a target and a fake driver's license. It would be up to the young man to develop his own back story and everything else he needed to complete his assignment safely. When Callen explained all of the back story he was provided every time that he went undercover, and all the backup he received while he was there, the detective realized that the two of them worked on different planets.

After one of their cases, where the two of them had to go undercover together, they both sat at their desks filling in all of their dreaded paperwork. Callen caught the detective out of the corner of his eye, staring at him with a very melancholy look on his face. When he turned to look at Deeks, the young man looked back at his keyboard as if he was working on it all the time. This happened a couple of times, and Callen was wondering what was going on.

Two days later, Deeks had to spend some time down at the South Bureau Police Building to fill out his paperwork for Lieutenant Bates. Callen knew that he would be there for a couple of hours, so he looked up and decided this was a good time to try to talk to Kensi.

"Hey, Kensi. You wanna go with me and make a food run. I'll buy lunch for the team."

"Sure, what did you think about getting?"

"Tacos. If we go to the White Rabbit food truck, we can get the big guy his soy-based veggie taco. I've tried one and know it tastes like barbecue pork. One of these days I'm gonna get him a real meat taco and see if he can tell the difference."

"Oh, I'll know. Trust me. You ain't gonna feed me all that grease," Sam declared.

"Okay," Callen said with a snicker to his voice, "we'll bring you your moldy taco."

"I'll call upstairs and see what the dynamic duo want," Kensi added.

. . . . .

Ten minutes later, Kensi was behind the wheel of her SRX when Callen asked her to pull over into a little park. When she did, she looked at her team leader and asked,"What's up?"

"Have you talked to Deeks recently?"

"Of course I've talked to him, he's my partner." she said, wondering if either of them had done something to alert people to the 'thing' that they swore was not going on between them.

"So...has he said anything about me recently?" Callen asked.

"Why? What makes you think he would be talking about you?"

"It's just a funny look he was giving me when we were filling out paperwork the other day. He tried not to let me catch him at it, but I saw him. It was such a sad, depressed look. Not something you would associate with Deeks at all."

Kensi suddenly got very interested in her nails, trying to remove the nail polish that was not there on her fingernail. Callen waited a few seconds and then ordered her, "Come on, Kens, spill it."

"You're right, Callen, it wasn't his normal way of acting and it was a very depressing thought that filled his mind. You guys had just come back from an undercover mission. He had shelved his alias and switched over to being his normal self. He looked at you and wondered..."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He told me that it looked like you never came out from under the alias. Instead, you just assumed a different one, like you were just changing clothes. He wondered if there was any of you, the real you, left under there, someone who could go out and have some fun, someone who could have a relationship with someone outside of work, someone who could love a woman."

"And..."

"And he couldn't see that in you. All he said he saw at that moment was a phantom dressed in your clothes, someone who would make sure that everything that needed to get done would be done. And that made him feel so sad for you, wondering if he could do anything to help fill up that hollowness that seems to be haunting you."

"He doesn't know..."

"Cut the crap, Callen. You called him out for the time he was in the system, just by the look in his eyes. Well, what gives you the idea that others can't see the look in your eyes, on your face, in your mannerisms, that say 'I am alone. I want nobody near me. I'm okay like this.' Deeks knows. He was there himself once. But he climbed out of the hole in which he found himself. You're still down there."

Callen turned his head and looked out the side window. Kensi waited for him to say something, but he remained silent.

"Callen," she half whispered.

"Yeah," he answered, turning his head and dropping his eyes into his lap.

"What are you gonna do about climbing out of that hole?"

"I have no idea. It's just so hard to let anyone get close."

"Talk to Deeks. He's been there. He knows what you're going through because he went through it himself. He can help you."

Callen looked deep inside himself and found one of his personas that was a happier, smiling him. He struggled to climb into it, but finally managed. When he raise his head and looked at her, he had become that different person. "Maybe I will do that. Let's go and get the food."

Kensi started the SRX and pulled out into traffic in search of the food truck.

In the meantime, Callen pondered the idea of the ghost going to the spook for advice.