DAN VS NEW MEXICO: THE MUSICAL
Dan was asleep in his bed. He awoke to his alarm, as usual, and hit his head on the hanging lamp.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, oh oh how!
How can I never leeeeeeeaaaaaaarn!" Dan sang
"I put this lamp here once, I need another guy to do my stunts! I have to put this lamp somewhere else! "
Dan got up. As soon as he put his foot down, he slipped on a burrito.
"Woah, woah, woah,
why did I not pick up that burrito!
I blame New Mexico."
He then walked forward, stubbing his toe on a "Pirates of New Mexico" diorama.
"Ow! My foot! My right big toe!
How could this happen, oh it hurts so!
I blame New Mexico!"
Dan went outside. He stepped forward and tripped on an armadillo. His face slammed against the street. The armadillo rolled by and hissed.
"D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
That armadillo!
What is it even doing in Californi-o?
Grr…. I blame New Mexico!"
Dan walked to his car. The window was broken open.
"Oh oh no, not my car's window!
Who could do this, I need to know!
(Spoken) Cactus, red dirt, adobe? Only one state could be responsible…
(sung) The one I blame isn't a foe, or even a show, but the one, the only…
NEW MEXICOOOOOOOO!"
The title came on screen "Dan Vs: New Mexico" as it appeared on the very first episode. "The Musical" was slapped on below it as if it were on Broadway.
Dan called his best friend Chris. He sang to him "Chris!
My friend, my buddy til the end,
help me find out how,
how to destroy New Mexico!"
"Dan? Dan, is that you? Why are you singing?" Chris asked "Do I have to sing too?" he added
"Of course you do, you blundering buffoon!
This is a musical tune!" Dan responded
"Oh-okay… umm…" Chris began to rap "Here it says,
New Mexico became a state 1912,
15 years before the candy PEZ" Dan had a very confused look on his face. Chris didn't strike him as the rapper type.
"The state bird is the roadrunner,
the bird my girl ain't gonna find funner.
The state song is Oh Fair New Mexico,
as opposed to the poor old Mexico" Then the rap music stopped. Chris began to sing "Oh Fair New Mexico".
"Enough of this, what are its weaknesses? How do I hurt it!"
"It doesn't have any of that information. You should go to the library"
"Fine, meet me there" Dan hung up
"Yeah, I kinda have to work today – Dan? Dan? *sigh* I wonder if I'll have to sing any more" Chris wondered aloud and headed to the library. He looked around while he waited for Dan to show up. He began looking at a book when Dan walked in.
"None of this is helping!" he yelled. Chris shushed him. Music started up.
"Never shush me!
I'll yell if I want!
If I wanna be, I will be loud!
Never shush me, NOBODY shushes me!
I can be as loud as my aunt!" Chris shushed him again. That got Dan especially mad. He began throwing books at him during the next verse of his song.
"If I ever want to yell,
I don't need you to tell,
me if I can yell or not,
I'll do it even if I fought!" Chris shushed Dan once more. That was the last straw. Dan grew incredibly mad, his face was all red. During the final verse of his song, he was punching Chris, and Chris fought back.
"If you ever want me quiet,
well man, go ahead and try it!
But you'll never get me to shut up,
especially with the eyes of a pup!" Dan and Chris were thrown out of the library.
"Well, that's the first time I've ever been thrown out of a library…" Chris said
"Eh, you get used to it." Dan said