So I... uh... apparently was wrong about being finished in the Re Academy universe. This story is the sixth in a series of one-shot spin-offs/sequels to my longer fic called "The Forgotten," but I think it works as a standalone as well (and you don't have to have read the previous one-shots either). It takes place in an alternate universe; specifically, a boarding school for troubled children call Re Academy.
Much of the inspiration for this fic comes from headcanons exchanged with my friend trashyhumanespresso on tumblr! Thanks, friend.
Also, while in canon I know Yusa and Kishou Arima are more distantly related, as are Shio and Hairu Ihei, but in this universe, Yusa and Kishou are siblings, as are Hairu and Shio.
And thank you for reading!
"Are you sure they don't know?"
Tsukiyama looks over his shoulder at Nishiki, who frowns as if he can't believe Tsukiyama might really pull this off. "I'm sure." Sun beats down on his back. Tsukiyama adjusts his designer shades and checks his phone. Fifteen minutes, Kaneki's texted.
"Wouldn't surprised if they suspect," remarks Urie as he arranges paper plates on a table. Sunlight sparks on the aquamarine pool shaped like two eggplants thrown together. Saiko dips her toe in.
"Hinami's been pretty careful," says Mutsuki.
"So has Kaneki, actually," says Amon. "Well, at least, Akira's been quick to distract Touka whenever he says something weird." Amon and Akira share an apartment with Touka and Kaneki.
"Good." Tsukiyama beams as he surveys his work. The cake, giant and red velvet, baked by Yoriko because she refused to let Tsukiyama order from a bakery, sits in the shade. Umbrellas tower over lounge chairs, and a small waterslide hangs over the deep end. Karren arranges tongs near the grill, her expensive bikini fitting her just right. She catches Tsukiyama watching her and blushes.
You still blush? It's one of the things Tsukiyama loves about her.
Tsukiyama's phone lights up. We're here! Hinami texts.
"They're here!" Tsukiyama shouts, and everyone—all his friends from Re Academy, even though he graduated over a year ago—gather in one large group. Tsukiyama invited students and some cool staff members.
The back door to the hotel opens.
"Surprise!" everyone shouts.
Touka's jaw drops. Kaneki beams down at her. Ayato yelps and Hinami clutches his arm. Yomo's brow creases.
"Happy Birthday, Kirishimas," Tsukiyama declares, waving his hand. "And Yomo. Since you're related to them."
Arata steps out from behind Tsukiyama, shyly wringing his hands together. "I thought—"
He was the one who suggested it. Tsukiyama overheard him talking to Hinami about how he wished he could throw a party for his kids and for his brother-in-law, and that was all it took for Tsukiyama to decide to rent out a floor of this fancy resort hotel for the day, and rent their pool. He was tempted to make it the same hotel they stayed at when they ran away from Re Academy, but Karren talked him out of that.
"For—me?" Touka asks, eyes bulging.
"Happy Birthday," Arata says, and Touka flings herself at him. Hinami kisses Ayato on the cheek. Yomo just gapes.
"Yes, you too," Itori drawls, slinging her arm around Yomo.
"Party time," Tsukiyama declares, gesturing for Urie to turn the music on. Everyone is going to have the time of their lives. They're here. They're all here.
It's been too long since they're all been together, and Tsukiyama craves it like water.
Eto settles on a lounge hair, drinking a cocktail with Arima, the dean and Kaneki's old psychologist, by her side. A huge floppy hat shades her face. Yoshimura watches his daughter as he helps Koma and Irimi grill. Kaneki pointed out that if they invited Arima they'd have to invite Eto too, even though she was fired from Re for her role in all the shenanigans.
Juuzou gulps soda while Hanbee sips his. Akira sprawls out on a lounge chair to sunbathe. Saiko cannonballs into the pool while Hsiao does a picture-perfect dive that Chie captures with her camera. Saiko then realizes she can't stand up in the pool and clings to her girlfriend. Seidou and Kurona go down the slide together, his arms around her waist as they both shriek. Nishiki and Kimi snuggle in the Jacuzzi, where Hairu uses the Jacuzzi's bubbles to paint a beard on her husband's face, and Ui lets her. Chie better capture that on camera.
In the shallow end, Urie pulls Mutsuki onto his shoulders, while Takeomi pulls Yoriko onto his, and they engage in a splash fight. Ayato, Hinami, and Amon face off with Kaneki, Touka, and Shirazu in some sort of pool game with a ball. Touka hits a ball off of Ayato's head.
"Fear not, Ayato, I'll avenge you!" teases Hinami, and Tsukiyama leans forward. She totally will. Hinami is no joke.
"Here, some lemonade for the man who always looks like he's sucking on a lemon," says Hide, offering Aura a glass. Hakatori draws flowers nearby, her legs dangling in the pool.
Hinami defeats Touka's team just as Mutsuki succeeds in knocking Yoriko into the water. "You all right?"
Yoriko surfaces, sputtering, and nods. Urie tilts his head up to make out with Mutsuki. Ayato cheers for his girlfriend, kissing Hinami.
"Oh great," mumbles Karren, clearly realizing what's coming.
Touka takes the challenge, dipping Kaneki back underwater and kissing him until Kaneki pushes her away and spits out water. "I know—showing up Ayato is important—but don't drown me!"
"Speaking of drowning!" Karren cries out, and Tsukiyama turns to one of the rounded corners of the pool to see Shikorae and Hajime, two students—Hajime being one they rescued from the raid they instigated and Shikorae being someone Tsukiyama knows nothing about—underwater, bubbles rising from their noses.
"What the hell?" Tsukiyama scrambles up from the lounge chair. No one gets to drown at this party!
Ui jumps into the pool, grabbing both of them and yanking the above water. Hajime chokes on water and Shikorae rubs his eyes.
"I thought you two said you could swim!" Ui barks.
"We can," gargles Hajime.
"Then why—"
"It was a contest," says Hajime, pointing at Shikorae. "To see who could hold their breath the longest. I didn't want him to win."
Tsukiyama rolls his eyes. Seidou needles Akira about her not wanting to go in the water as Ui joins Hinami's team and Hairu joins Touka's team for a rematch. Nishiki and Hide join as well, and Kimi lies down next to Akira.
"Don't run on wet surfaces!" Miza yells at Naki, who falls flat on his face, but not before knocking Hakatori's notebook into the pool. Hakatori leaps to her feet, war raging in her eyes, and Tsukiyama remembers the story he's heard about her: that she was sent to Re after getting caught robbing morgues. Her boyfriend—maybe?—Ikuma rushes over to calm her down.
"Hey Amon, catch!" calls Seidou, grabbing Akira by the waist and hoisting her in the air. She shrieks, flailing. He dumps her into the water—and into Amon's arms.
"I will bloody murder you!" threatens Akira, wiping her eyes. Though she leans back against Amon's sculpted abs, appreciative.
"Hey Kishou, look at that," Eto says, getting to her feet and wandering towards the edge of the pool. Arima follows, peering down. She pushes him in with a splash and cackles as Arima sinks like the Titanic—at least until Kurona steals her hat.
Tsukiyama pulls Karren to her feet and into the cool water. Tsukiyama waves his arm. "Chie! Take pictures of my mermaid." He points to Karren.
Ui's lips pucker at Tsukiyama's sappy nickname.
"Don't you call Hairu your princess?" asks Hirako.
"Because I am!" Hairu retorts before she wins the game for Touka's team.
Shio grouses about how Rikai and Yusa won't join him in the pool thanks to their massive sunburns. They crouch by the pool, playing with Hirako's dog instead. And they aren't the only ones who are sunburned: Shikorae and Hajime both sneak up behind Aura and poke his arms. He screams. Higemaru laughs. Shio gets the dog to jump in and Hirako groans. Eto spikes Kurona and Seidou's lemonade with hot sauce.
Tsukiyama leans back against the side of the pool. Karren swims up beside him. "Happy that everyone's happy?"
"Huh?" Tsukiyama frowns, pulling his hair out of his eyes.
Karren shrugs and sinks under the water so she won't have to answer. Tsukiyama swallows and drags himself out to get something to drink and some cake.
"I just meant that you're happy when everyone's around," Karren says when she pulls herself out and he hands her a plate. She presses her chin into his shoulder. "You miss them."
"Maybe," Tsukiyama acknowledges with a smirk. Karren steals some beef from his plate. "They're our friends. They deserve a good birthday."
"We could live closer next year," Karren suggests.
The cake feels sticky in Tsukiyama's mouth. He swallows.
"It's okay to miss people," Karren says, fumbling to put her sunglasses on.
You miss your family, Tsukiyama knows. And these people—they're mine. He remembers Karren crying, saying she only wanted to be seen as the person she really was, instead of as Kanae, the person she sculpted to fit everyone's ideals of what she ought to have been. Kaneki, Nishiki, Touka, Kimi—they all know Tsukiyama, they've seen him at his best and they've seen him at his worst, and somehow, they still text him sometimes, and they remember his birthday.
"Did I ever tell you that my dad traveled on my birthday twice?" Tsukiyama asks, stuffing more cake into his mouth. The sweet, creamy flavor dissolves on his tongue. Well done, Yoriko. It's as good as the baker's after all. "He called both times. It's not like he forgot."
But I still wanted him there. He worked, and Mother was buried, and Matsumae only visited on weekends, and to the servants he was a chore. And by the time Kanae showed up, he didn't even know who he was anymore. You always knew who you were, Karren.
Karren leans her head on his damp shoulder. "Sorry."
He doesn't know what to say or do—say it doesn't matter? Thank her? He nods and wraps an arm around her. I love you.
"Too bad we can't skinny-dip," Seidou jokes as a group of them crowds into the hotel elevator a few hours later.
"Who says we can't?" asks Saiko. "After hours, we could." A smirk crosses her lips. "Girls can go for an hour, and then boys."
Mutsuki pales. Karren's eyebrows fly up.
"No chance in hell," Akira says.
But Tsukiyama can't help but grin. "We should do it. I'll send a group text around."
Of course, while Karren's in the shower, someone knocks on his door, and when Tsukiyama opens it he finds Hajime there. "We heard you guys are going skinny-dipping after midnight."
"You're not allowed," Tsukiyama says instantly. "You're minors. Sorry."
"You can't stop us," Hajime taunts. His tongue piercing glints.
You brat! "I'll call Hairu," Tsukiyama threatens, pulling out his cell phone. She's his dorm parent.
"You're becoming a boring adult!" cries Hajime, stomping his foot. "Shio says you used to be cool."
"Cool down, kid," Tsukiyama shoots back. He hears the sound of Karren's shower turning off. "Bye now." He closes the door on Hajime.
Blech. Being responsible. If he was Hajime's age he totally would still do it. But if Hajime even tries Tsukiyama really will call Hairu, his dorm parent, and Ui, his mentor. Don't test me, punk.
Christ, am I becoming a boring adult after all? He clutches his face.
"Problem?" asks Karren as she steps out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.
"Am I a boring adult?"
A smile spreads across Karren's face. "You're an adult, but an interesting one."
Tsukiyama snorts. He falls back onto the king-sized bed, arms spread out, and Karren crawls over him.
"I'll keep watch," Akira allows, still dressed in her bikini. She rolls her eyes in exasperation. Karren also keeps her bikini on. Hinami, Touka, Kurona, Hsiao, Saiko, Chie, Yoriko, Kimi, and Hakatori all wear the terry-cloth robes.
"Thanks, Akira," Hinami whispers.
Akira's glower vanishes when she looks at Hinami. She nods.
Don't get arrested at a fancy hotel's pool again, Ayato texts her. Hinami snorts as she remembers that moment, when she thought Furuta's schemes might actually succeed. But he didn't, thanks in part to Ayato.
Hsiao strips off her robe first, diving straight in. Touka and Saiko jump in next, and then Kimi and Kurona. "Come on!" shouts Chie, who thankfully left her camera upstairs, as she shoves Hinami in. Hinami flails, struggling to rip her robe off. She shoves the sodden cloth onto the side.
"This is the only way to swim," declares Hsiao, floating. Hakatori snickers.
Hinami laughs, spreading her arms out, even if she's definitely staying submerged. She and Ayato are enjoying their time in college, still studying together. Maybe next year they can get an apartment like Touka and Kaneki have.
Akira lets them know when the time's up, and they all scramble out of the pool and head up towards their rooms. As they wait for the elevator, a security guard passes them. Hsiao giggles. Kimi flushes, tightening her robe around her waist. Hinami's robe drips onto the carpet.
The elevator dings, and all the boys spill out. Seidou wolf-whistles. Kurona flips him off, and Akira gives her a high-five.
"Someone push you in?" asks Ayato.
Hinami grins, wringing out her hair. "Guess who."
"Not me!" yelps Chie, hiding behind Hinami. Ayato rolls his eyes.
Kaneki, Amon, Urie, and Mutsuki still wear clothes, while the other boys are in robes. Aura's lips pinch as if he's regretting this decision.
"Have fun, boys," calls Kimi, winking at Nishiki.
"Who will be the most exhibitionist?" wonders Touka as the elevator doors close around them.
"Shuu," Karren declares. "Is that even a question?"
"Higemaru might give him a run for his money," says Saiko, chewing on her lip.
Once back in her room, Hinami rinses off. She checks her phone to see a message from Arata. Do you think he had fun?
I think so, she texts back. She decides to head to the vending machine for some canned coffee. Ayato will appreciate it. She doubts they're going to sleep right away when he gets back. It's his birthday soon, and Hinami's happy to celebrate all week.
After she collects two cans of coffee and a bar of chocolate, she hears footsteps behind her. Hinami turns to see Tatara, the dour chemistry teacher who came because—well, he was invited as Yomo's coworker, which meant his mortal enemy, the history teacher, Houji, did not show despite the invitation. Tatara scowls at her. Hinami smiles back.
"Hi, Hinami," Ui says as he passes her in the hallway.
"Staying up late?" she asks.
"We're playing cards," Ui allows.
"Are you going down to the pool?" calls a voice. Hinami's heart leaps to her throat. She spins around to see Hajime standing there, grinning at her like the devil himself. "I think a group went down for a midnight swim. You should join them."
Oh shit, shit, shit! "I don't—" Hinami starts.
"Let's go!" cheers Yomo, emerging from his room with his cheeks flushed. He looks happier than he has in years. And drunker.
"I don't think—" Hinami tries again. "Wait!"
But they've already started down the stairwell, and Hinami kicks herself. She should have told them—goddammit, why am I so useless?
Hajime smirks at her as he slips back to his room. You little— Hinami sighs and dials Ayato. "Pick up!"
No answer. Hinami texts Akira and Touka.
RIP, Touka texts back with a laughing emoji. Akira's door flies open and she bursts into the hallway, murder crunching her features together. "Where is that brat?"
"Hiding," says Hinami. She laces her fingers together against the back of her head.
The elevator dings, and Akria tenses. Hinami's heart leaps to her throat.
The boys spill into the hallway, Mutsuki, Urie, and Amon still fully dressed. The rest of the boys bicker among themselves. Ayato raises his eyebrows when he sees her. Akira rushes to Amon.
"It was Hajime," Hinami offers.
"Little shit," grunts Tsukiyama. "I'm going to fucking kill that—"
"He's a kid!" objects Kaneki.
"He's a teenage devil."
Mutsuki rolls his eyes and opens the door to his and Urie's room. Ayato finds Hinami and she ushers him away. "Did they actually catch you?"
"Yes." Ayato moans, leaning back against the wall to their room. He covers his face. "I hope Yomo doesn't tell my dad."
"Considering his reaction to when Uta told him he caught us in the gym that time, he probably won't," Hinami offers. She hopes. It was irresponsible of them. But—
"Probably not," Ayato allows, his voice still muffled by his palms, pressed against his face as if to keep his embarrassment from burning through his skin. "I feel bad for ruining his birthday, though."
"It's your birthday too," Hinami points out, dropping back onto the bed. She traces the gold comforter.
"Yeah, but," says Ayato lifting his face at last and dropping down next to her. His hair drips down on her shoulder. "We have—I mean, he's still—really all he has is Yoshimura, and us, and my dad, and Hirako and Itori. Uta's still in prison."
"Not for long," Hinami says.
"I think that's exactly what he's worried about." Ayato flicks his earring.
Oh. Hinami tucks her legs underneath her. "He's still in love with him, isn't he?"
Ayato nods. "But he feels he shouldn't be." A small smile crosses his lips.
"What would you feel?" asks Hinami.
The smile vanishes. "Uta hurt lots of people we care about. How would you feel about being close to people who hurt your parents?" asks Ayato.
Something cold clutches Hinami's stomach. She remembers both of them. Sometimes she still dreams about both of them crying out for her, but everything around her's a gray fog, and she can't find them. She gulps. The off-white of the walls closes in around her.
"Sorry," whispers Ayato, grasping her shoulder.
She shakes her head. "I wouldn't—I can't—I wouldn't want to be close to them—but I'd understand—other people behind able to love them—even if I can't—"
Ayato takes her in his arms. Her chest shudders. "Sorry, I shouldn't be crying at your birthday party—"
"Party's over," Ayato points out. Her thumbs trace her cheeks.
She cranes her neck, looking up at him. "You know this was my idea?"
He understands that she wants to change the subject. He shakes his head. "I—"
"Let's go." Hinami gets to her feet, an idea blossoming in her mind. She holds out her hand.
"Where?" asks Ayato. "I should put something besides this robe on—"
"Nope," Hinami contradicts. "You shouldn't." Her cheeks feel sticky from crying. She pulls Ayato into the hallway and into the elevator. "You should get the full experience."
"Um—"
"Don't worry," Hinami assures him as they arrive at the ground floor. She leads him out towards the pool area, now empty since it's almost two in the morning. "I don't think they're around anymore."
"Hinami—" Ayato starts, but she's already slipping off her shorts and tugging off her tank top.
"You coming?" she asks, heart pounding as she dives in. She surfaces to get splashed in the face by a wave of water as Ayato jumps in. He swims over to her, shaking his head. Her face flushes. "We don't have to stay long."
Ayato presses his palms against hers, water covering both of their hands. Hinami tilts her head up and gasps. "Look!"
Ayato looks up. Stars glisten like diamonds against a midnight blue velvet backdrop, dulled by the city lights but still visible. He snorts.
"They're pretty," Hinami muses.
Ayato's hand slides out from the water to cup the back of her neck. His eyes sparkle. Her breath catches in her throat. His lips press into hers. She jumps up, her legs wrapping around his waist. Her mouth drives down into his. His fingers grope her hair. Her thumb flicks his earring. He whispers her name, and she pulls back to catch her breath. They can't get it on here.
His lips curve into a smile, and he's wearing her favorite look, the look she sees when he hovers over her, the look when he talked to his father again after so many years, the look in his eyes that day when he had to leave her at a different hotel, knowing she'd be arrested. Curtains pulled back, he shows her himself. Just you.
"Let's go upstairs?" Ayato asks.
Hinami nods, a lump in her throat. They pulls themselves out of the water, and Hinami shrugs into her clothes.
Voices echo in the lobby. You sneak! Hinami rounds the corner, expecting to confront Hajime with a camera or something. Instead, she finds Hajime with Shikorae, his odd roommate, and Shio, Yusa, and Rikai. The five of them are talking to a woman with reddish hair.
"Roma!" Ayato stops still.
"Kirishima!" Roma's eyes widen. She grins at him. Shikorae shrinks.
"The hell are you doing here?" Ayato snarls.
"She said she's Shikorae's friend," Shio says, arms crossed. His brow creases as if Ayato's just confirming his suspicions.
"I called her," Shikorae mumbles. He twists his hands. "I miss her."
Hajime shrugs, cap pulled low over his hair.
Roma—from the Aogiri Tree bar? Hinami wonders. She thought Roma left town. You helped Kaneki get tortured!
"Want me to call the police?" Ayato threatens. "Get away from them." He reaches for his phone, before realizing he doesn't have it. "I'll get the front desk to call my uncle's room!"
"Don't!" squeaks Shikorae, stingy black hair covering his eyes. "Please don't." He rocks back and forth. "The cops—"
Hinami remembers Yomo once mentioning that Shikorae's been arrested before. "We won't, but you should all be sleeping." She catches Yusa's eyes, narrowing her own.
Yusa gives a small nod. He steps forward, taking Shikorae's arm. "Let's go back up."
Shio nods. Hajime blinks. Rikai levels a murderous look at Roma, who simply beams.
"I'll see you later, Shiko-baby," Roma says, smiling at him. He nods up at her.
"Like hell," mumbles Ayato. They make sure the younger kids get to their rooms, and then Ayato turns to Hinami. "We have to tell Arima in the morning."
Hinami nods. She closes the door behind them and wraps her arms around Ayato. Are you okay?
He turns around to face her, forehead against hers.
"I hate everything." Ui buries his face into the pillow. His wife pats his shoulder. He never wanted to see that. "Why would Hajime lie to me like that?"
"Because he's sixteen and an edgelord?" Hairu offers.
Ui moans. "Way to ruin Yomo's birthday."
"I doubt that." Hairu flops down next to him, wrapping her arms around him because Hairu is a clingy sleeper. Ui's woken up with her legs over him and trapped in her arms multiple times. Not that he minds.
In truth, Ui was surprised Tsukiyama invited him. Then again, he has become friendlier with all of them over the year, and they were all at his wedding. But he thought Yomo, Touka, and Ayato would want me here?
Did they want me here?
"Did you ever do anything wild when you were a teenager?" Hairu wonders.
"I was responsible."
"Me neither. I didn't want Re Academy to kick me out." Hairu sighs. "I guess that's a lie. I snuck out occasionally. One time Furuta ratted on me and I had to scramble to get back to my dorm. They didn't catch me." She snuggles down. "Maybe he thought ratting me out would get him favor with his dad."
Washuu was Furuta's father. Ui still has trouble accepting that. How abandoned must he have felt? He closes his eyes. Hairu's hands are warm on his chest. I don't want any more kids ending up like him. He thinks of Tsukiyama, a kid he'd given up on, who's now throwing parties and inviting all the kids who graduated from Dorm Blocks 11 and 20 and those who are still students even though he surely hadn't met all of them before today. I want kids ending up like that.
When Ui wakes, his chest is cold. The air-conditioning blasts, and Hairu's not here. Ui squints and realizes his phone's ringing. He gropes for it. "Hello?" The first blotches of coral dawn bloom through the night.
"Come down to the pool," Hairu says. "We have a situation."
Fuck! Ui scrambles out the door. He should have known—if it's Hajime or Shio, I'll—
When he arrives, he skids to a stop. Hairu floats in the pool, scarlet and gold and pink bleeding onto the surface of the water. She's completely naked. His jaw drops.
"Hi," says Hairu with a wave. She swims over to him, propping herself up on the side of the pool. Her pink hair clings to her forehead. "I couldn't sleep and thought I might want to try being wild."
"Are you forgetting what happened last year when Hirako walked in on us?" Ui hisses. Blood surges in him. God, she looks so beautiful. But this is so irresponsible!
Hairu tilts her head back, orange light bathing her face. She smiles.
Oh fuck.
Her smile grows. She throws her arms out.
You know exactly what you're doing. He twists his wedding ring. Hairu sinks under the water and then pops up.
Ui kneels down and leans over, kissing her. He is not skinny-dipping. But I love you.
Hairu pulls back and holds his face in her wet hands. Tears bead in her eyes.
You like that I love you? She married him, and Ui still can't believe it.
"Help me out?" Hairu requests.
Ui nods, pulling her out. He grabs a towel discarded on a nearby lounge chair and wraps her in it.
"Back to school," Hairu says, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Yep," Ui says. "Back to our family." Of dysfunctional kids in Dorm Block 11, including Hajime and Shikorae.
"Hey," calls Hirako, jogging up to them. His dog barks. "You're up early."
"Just swimming," Hairu chirps.
Hirako's eyes narrow in suspicion. "I don't want to know."
"It's not what you think!"
"For Ui it's not," Hairu confirms.
"I'm out of here!" Hirako yells over his shoulder, racing for the entrance.
Hairu and Ui usher the few kids who came with them into their cars and drive them back to campus afterwards. Eto tells Arima she'll come by later, and Ui can't help rolling his eyes. Are you going to marry her?
"Yomo seemed pretty happy we came," Hairu comments when they get to their apartment. Shio tells them he's going to hang out with Yusa and Rikai and skips out. Ui smiles after the boy he loves like a little brother.
"I think he still worries we hate him because he goes to see Uta," Ui says, leaning back against the wall.
"I'm not thrilled with it," Hairu answers. "But—I don't know."
Ui shrugs. Same. He pulls out a few scrapbooks and goes to work on them. Hairu sings softly to herself as she decides that she's going to dictate what kind of glitter he needs to use on his scrapbooks—even though he hadn't been planning on using glitter at all—and Ui joins her, Hairu singing a cheesy Disney song and getting Ui to join in.
"Shio says he's going to eat at the dining hall tonight," Hairu reports, holding up her phone. "And Hirako wants to know if he and Arima can come over to 'discuss something' over dinner."
"I guess?" Ui offers, leaning back on his heels. Hairu dumps a fistful of silver glitter over his head. "Hey! Hairu!"
"You married me; you're stuck!" Hairu crows, waving her ring in his face. "Maybe Arima is going to ask Eto to marry him." She clasps her hands together. "That'd be—weird."
Ui groans, trying to shakes the glitter out of his hair. It's hopeless.
Hirako laughs when he arrives and sees glitter sticking to Ui's skin and hair. Arima raises his eyebrows.
They talk around the table, drinking a glass of wine each as Arima talks about, to Hairu's disappointment, the fact that Furuta recently wrote him a letter, since they knew each other growing up.
"What does he want?" demands Hirako.
"I don't know," Arima says. "I haven't responded. Yusa saw it, though, and he was disturbed."
So Shio probably knows too. Ui clenches his fists. He remembers how Furuta convince him to help him out against Ui's better judgment—Hairu knows. Shio doesn't. He'll lose all respect for me.
Someone pounds on their door. Hairu leaps to her feet, scrambling over to yank it open. "Yes?"
Rikai stands there. "Hirako!"
"Rikai!" Hirako's jaw drops. "Is—"
"Something's wrong!" Rikai cries out. "We need—help—it's Shikorae—he's—and Hajime's—"
Hairu rushes out the door. "Show me!"
Ui scrambles after them, Hirako on his heels as they race through the lounge and up the stairs. Rikai's eyes are bright, as if trying not to cry. They reach the third floor, where the junior boys live, and Ui hears screaming coming from behind Shikorae and Hajime's door. Their RA must be at dinner.
Hairu reaches for the door handle. It's locked. "Open up!" she bellows. "Now!"
Ui's rarely seen her in this state. She means business.
"Hurry!" Hairu shouts.
"Yusa, Shio, it's us!" Rikai calls.
The door flies open. Shio stands there. Behind him, standing amidst a pile of flipped over books and loose-leaf paper, Yusa holds a long belt, scowling. Hajime gapes at them as he cowers near the window. And Shikorae—Shikorae races towards the open door, howling. His black hair flies behind him.
"No you don't!" shouts Hirako, lunging to grab Shikorae, who flails and tries to bite Hirako. "Ow!"
"Stop!" Ui yells, reaching out to help restrain Shikorae.
"All of you! In my apartment right now!" Hairu snaps. "Don't drag your feet, Hajime!" She turns to help with Shikorae.
Do we need to call Banjou? Ui wonders. The boy's face screws up like he's in pain, and his scarred eyelids blink rapidly as he screams and screams and screams and screams. The nurse might need to come and calm him down—or maybe Arima can—
Other students crowd the stairwell. Hirako grunts for them to go. Shikorae finally wilts, sobbing. Bruises ache on Ui's legs.
"What is that?" demands Arima as soon as Hairu shuts her door. He points to the belt in Yusa's hand.
"Hajime was going to hang himself!" Shio cries.
"What?" Ui turns to his mentee as Hirako helps a bawling Shikorae to the couch. Arima stands, silent. Hajime backs up, his eyes wide and lips trembling. "Hajime—what's going on?" Did I fail you? Please no—you wouldn't—
Hajime shakes his head, tears spilling down his cheeks. "I—wasn't. I just—" He gulps, cheeks reddening. "I just—wanted to stop Shikorae from going—I thought if he—knew how much I didn't want him to go—he might not go—I wasn't actually going to hang myself! Really, I wasn't! It was just to scare him!"
"Go where?" asks Hairu. Hajime lowers his head so that his chin scrapes his chest, and Ui moves in. He holds his arms out, despite not being much of a hugger. Hajime caves into him, sobbing. Hairu nods in approval.
"To meet with Roma Hoito," says Shio.
That barmaid? Ui stiffens. Shikorae rocks back and forth on the gray couch, mumbling. Arima places his hands on Yusa's shoulders.
"I didn't want him to go. I don't like her—she knew Furuta," says Hajime. "My parents—"
"I know," Ui says, rubbing Hajime's shoulders.
"We met her at the hotel," Shio confesses. "She showed up—we met her in the lobby—she said she missed Shikorae."
Shikorae leaps to his feet, gawping at them. He clenches and unclenches his fists, hits himself on the head. Arima leaps for him, but he crumples to the ground in front of the couch. "I want—my brother—" he ekes out.
His brother. The one who raised him, Ui knows. Murdered, for Shikorae.
"Brother—my brother—my brother—my brother—I want to see him—" He bites the cushion on the couch, grinding his teeth down into it. His eyes squeeze shut.
"Shikorae!" Hairu shouts. "Shikorae—stop!"
Hajime whimpers. Ui tightens his grip on the kid. Arima takes a step forward. What are you waiting for?
"Shikorae—Shikorae—Rio!" Hairu finally cries.
Shikorae loosens his grip on the cushion. He falls onto his back to face Hairu, still crying. He shakes his head. "Rio's—gone." He hiccups.
Hairu sighs and drops to the floor, next to Shikorae. "What were you going to meet Roma Hoito for?"
"She helped me," Shikorae ekes out. He digs his fingers into his temples. "When—Kijima—" His lips pucker at the name of that man, a police officer who took Shikorae in after he was paroled from prison. Unknown to everyone at the time, Kijima was also a murderer who killed Shikorae's brother and kept and tortured Shikorae. "She was nice to me—she used to bring me—food—and she smiled at me—"
Ui gulps, remembering Hairu stating how powerful Arima's one smile was to her when she was a child.
Eto, of all people, is the one who found Shikorae and called the police. Eto, of all people. Judging by Arima's expression, he's well aware of this.
Shikorae curls up. "He was—doing things to me—he told me my brother was still alive—he cut me—he made me beg—" He shudders. A sob breaks out, cracking the air. "I miss my brother—I want my brother— he made—everything okay—" He rocks back and forth. "I just want to be okay—"
"Shh," says Hairu, reaching out and rocking him. Hajime slumps against Ui, and Shio wipes at his eyes. Yusa clings to Arima's elbow, and Rikai looks up at Hirako.
"I don't have a brother anymore," Shikorae whispers. He sounds like he wants someone to slap that statement out of his mouth, accuse him of lying, lacerate him with hope.
"He's still with you, even if he isn't alive," Hairu says. "And—there are other brothers, and sisters, here, for you. They aren't the same, but they care about you. Everyone at the party we went to—they graduated and they're still in touch like family—" She brushes Shikorae's hair away from his face. He sniffles, wiping his nose. Hairu gestures, and Hirako grabs a tissue to hand to her. She wipes his nose for him.
"We sent Rikai to get help because we like you," Shio offers. "We'd—we want to be friends." Ui nods at Shio, and Shio beams. "Ui's like my brother now."
"And Hirako's like mine," Rikai says softly. "And we're not even related."
"I can't—remember—what happened to him," says Shikorae. "Kijima—says I hurt him—if I could remember—I could—see—"
He cut off Kijima's arm somehow, or so Ui's heard. That's how Shikorae wound up in jail for awhile.
"Having a mental illness," says Arima. "Does not make you a bad person, Rio. Hurting Kijima does not make you a bad person."
Shikorae's eyes water. "I wish—I was—Rio again."
"You can be," Hairu says. "You can be who you want to be at this school."
Shikorae's lips tremble. He looks up at them. His chest heaves. Ui unwraps his arms from Hajime and gets Shikorae a glass of water. The boy gulps it down.
"Hajime, you and Shikorae are going to stay in this apartment for the night," Hairu says firmly. "No arguments."
"I'll see you both tomorrow," Arima adds.
"No classes for you two, I'm afraid," Hairu says with a sigh.
"Hooray," Hajime mumbles. He grins up at Ui, and Ui groans.
Hirako leaves with Rikai and Arima with Yusa, and Ui and Shio pull out blankets and pillows for Shikorae to sleep on the couch and Hajime in their guest room.
"I really didn't want to kill myself," Hajime tells Ui, scuffing his sock-clad feet on the kitchen floor.
"That's good," Ui says, pouring some water for chamomile tea for Shikorae.
"Sometimes I wouldn't mind if someone killed me, though," Hajime confesses. His eyes search Ui's face, as if gauging how Ui will react.
Ui remembers what Shinohara said he told Juuzou once. "I would mind."
Hajime's lips curve in a smile. "Really?"
Ui nods. Hajime studies his socks. He takes a teacup and carries it out to his roommate.
"That's a doable color," Hairu says, peering over Shikorae's shoulder at a tablet screen.
"I like it," Shio says. "Do you want me to call you Rio?"
Shikorae looks up at him and beams. He nods.
"We're coloring his hair back to its natural green tomorrow," Hairu announces to Ui.
"Sounds good to me." Ui checks his phone.
I'm proud of all of you, Arima's texted to Ui, Hairu, and Hirako. Ui wonders if Yusa prodded him to text it. Either way, Ui feels something warm creeping into his cheeks, and something stings his eyes.
"So you had fun?" Mutsuki asks Touka, who nods and grins at her. He drops onto the couch of the apartment he shares with Urie, Saiko, Hsiao, Shirazu, Aura, and Higemaru. The rest of their graduate friends, with the exception of Hakatori and Ikuma who went off to go thrift shopping, are gathered in the apartment to watch movies. It's rare for them all to get together.
"Your dad was so happy to see you all so happy," comments Tsukiyama. He slings his arm around Karren.
"Enjoy the leftover cake," calls Yoriko, handing out pieces.
Mutsuki takes one. Urie turns it down. "No offense, Yoriko."
"None taken, Sweet Hater." She chortles.
Shirazu starts the movie. Mutsuki snuggles against Urie, who strokes his hair. The movie's an action flick, surprisingly violent at the beginning. The images of a father screaming at his son smack Mutsuki. His lungs constrict. Urie's grip tightens on him.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay, Mutsuki repeats to himself. He closes his eyes, remembering the skinny-dipping the night before. He and Urie were fully clothed, but it was funny to watch the others splash around. I'm okay. They wanted me at their party. I'm okay. I'm okay.
Gray sleep pulls him down. The fingers running through his hair suddenly tighten. Mutsuki jerks upright.
"Knew I'd find you," says a familiar voice.
"No!" Mutsuki jerks back. "You're dead! You're dead! You're dead!" he screams at the figure, who grabs his arms, squeezing tight. Urie leaps to his feet. The others—Touka's looking at him like he's getting what he deserves, Kaneki just in shock, Akira in disgust, Saiko's crying—but nobody's doing anything, they're just going to let him have him—I killed you, I deserve this, stop stop stop stopstopstopSTOPS T O P!
He throws his head back and screams. His lungs fill with water instead of air. Mutsuki scrambles away—he trips over the carpet, that stupid rug Hsiao insisted on buying—he kicks out—"Get away from me!"
"Ow! Holy—fuck!"
Mutsuki flails. Arms grab him. He shrieks and slaps.
"Tooru!"
"Mucchan!" wails Saiko.
His knees dig into the carpet. Mutsuki scrambles up again—he's doubled over, he needs to stop him, stop him—now it's the other one, the one in prison—you're here too, they've all come for me, I des erve deserv erve this nononononononono—his mother too, his mother too, that bitch jumps in front of her husband and Mutsuki throws his arms, throws his punch—
She screams, topping back and smacking her head. And the other one, the jailed one, lunges and Mutsuki claws at him—someone else throws him back—
"Tooru!" bellows Urie's voice. He clutches Mutsuki's shoulders. And he's here, staring at Mutsuki, and Kaneki's holding his shoulder, and Shirazu Mutsuki's other arm, both of them pinning him on his back to the floor and they're all gaping at him because they've seen what he really is, the monster that ate his soul.
Mutsuki blinks.
Instead of his father, instead of Saeki, he sees Takizawa lying on the carpet, holding his crotch and moaning. And instead of his mother, he sees Akira propping herself up, rubbing her head and wincing. Amon crouches next to his girlfriend. Yoriko clutches her cheek, and Takeomi stands protectively in front of his girlfriend.
I—
I attacked my friends?
They were never here. I lost it again. Mutsuki squeezes his eyes shut and screams. How could I do this?
"Mutsuki!" cries Aura.
"I didn't—" He shakes his head, bawling. Tears rip his voice from him. What have I done?
"You were dreaming," Urie's voice assures him. "It's okay. It's okay. We're here."
His breath catches in his throat. The light cutting through the window blinds him when he opens his eyes.
"Calm down," Kaneki says. "Calm down, Mutsuki."
Urie's arms wrap around him, pulling him upright, holding him, holding him together. Mutsuki shakes and bawls. "I—he was—I thought—"
"You pack quite a kick," groans Takizawa, Kurona helping him to his feet.
"I didn't—"
"Trust me, I know," says Takizawa with a wince. "Damn."
"This wasn't a good movie to watch," Urie says. Right, Urie's the only one who knows what his father did to him.
"I'm so sorry," Higemaru says, eyes wide.
I'm not better after all. Mutsuki wants to exist, he wants to be better, he wants to be more than this, throw his arms out and kick and fight until he exists a whole person.
"Tooru," Shirazu says hesitantly. He reaches out wraps his arms around him and Urie. Saiko follows, and then Hsiao, Higemaru, and Aura. Kaneki, and Touka. Juuzou and Hanbee. They're all hugging him, a spider web of people who want to—want to what? Not trap him.
"I'm so sorry," Mutsuki croaks out. Seidou. Akira.
Mom. Dad. My brother…
"Nightmares happen," says Kaneki. "I know this."
"Mucchan?" asks Hinami.
"It's okay," says Juuzou. "You don't have to talk about it, Mutsuki."
"I thought—I thought—you were someone else—" He looks at Akira, Seidou, Yoriko. He should call Arima, ask for advice. I went psychotic again.
I'm never going to get better.
"I'm sick—I didn't mean—"
"It's okay," Akira says with a cringe as she rubs her skull. "It happens."
"I have a dissociative disorder—I—" How much do I need to say? Mutsuki wrings his shirt.
"None of us expect you to be completely better," says Kaneki, looking at him with a small smile.
"You just have to make steps," says Shirazu.
"Which you have done," says Saiko, twisting her pigtails around her fingers. "We love you."
"We all backslide sometimes," Takizawa says. "Ask Kuro, she knows. I still hate myself for what—I did."
"We'll help you," Juuzou says, peering at Mutsuki.
"You're not alone," Urie whispers.
Mutsuki wraps his arms around his boyfriend. I'm not alone. I'm not alone.
They care. They're holding him, holding his disparate pieces together.
Thank you.
"Sorry," he whispers again.
"We forgive you," Saiko chirps. "We love you, Mucchy." She flicks his hair.
I'm not grotesque.
He sees Urie, looking at him like he's beautiful, and he knows Urie sees him that way because Urie's told him that, and Mutsuki—he trusts Urie.
I'm—okay. I can be.
"Poor Mutsuki," comments Kurona, swinging Seidou's hand as they leave the apartment. "Your balls okay?"
Seidou rolls his eyes. "You weren't planning on having kids, were you?"
She sticks her tongue out at him. He laughs. Something sticks to his chest—it feels like his heart's melting, dripping and bleeding. Everyone still accepted Mutsuki. They still love him. He's still their friend. Seidou recognized the look in Mutsuki's eyes when he woke up though—like he was exposed, like he was hideous, like he wanted to crawl away and hide, shrivel, vaporize into nothingness. But Urie and Shirazu and Saiko and Juuzou and Kaneki—they held him.
"What are you thinking about?" Kurona asks softly.
Seidou lifts his shoulders. The moon glows above them. His eyes slide to Kuro.
"Want me to spend the night?" she asks.
"If you want." That's a yes, and Kurona knows it.
In Seidou's dorm room, small and plain, he lies down on the bed. Kurona drops next to him and runs her hands through his hair.
Ayato hurt Kaneki terribly, Seidou remembers. And Kaneki's probably going to be his brother-in-law someday. And he and Hinami were the ones who came up with the idea to plan this party, and worked with Tsukiyama to do it.
"Did you hear that Amon and Akira might be visiting Donato in prison?" Kurona finally asks.
You know what this is about, don't you? Of course she does. She can always see through him, and the fact that she believes he's a good man somehow—it ignites hope. "Akira mentioned it." He tilts his head back, looking up at her.
"Is there someone you want to talk to?" Kurona asks.
"You could just say it," he mumbles.
"We can go after class tomorrow," Kurona suggests. "I'll go with you, if you want."
Seidou closes his eyes.
"We can take Seina to dinner." Seidou's sister is a junior at the school.
He nods.
The next day Seidou can barely concentrate in class. He taps his pencil against the desk, biting his lip in unison with the rhythm. He remembers how his high school history teacher, Houji, tried to mentor him, tried to reassure him that he was going places, that he would be successful, that he didn't have to worry about his grades, about getting into school. And then his grades started slipping, and when Seidou returned from running away and helping raid the Sunlit Garden, and everyone found out about how he had been blackmailed into working for Dr. Kanou, Houji's respect and care suddenly turned to disgust. Seidou remembers sitting in his class, unable to take notes because of his shattered shoulder, shame bruising his face as Houji could barely look at him.
"Seina texted me that she's excited to see us. I guess Shinohara told her," reports Kurona. Shinohara is Seina's dorm parent.
Seidou smiles. They board a bus and ride through the city. Gray clouds cover the sky, boiling the cars and people in sticky humidity. Seidou's hair clings to his scalp. Kurona pulls her hair back into a ponytail. Her black tank top hangs on her frame. She looks so beautiful.
"What?" Kuro asks, tilting her head.
"Nothing."
She smirks.
When they get to Re Academy, Akira's father, the head of security, welcomes them on campus. "You all have a good time at that party?"
Seidou nods. "Did Akira and Amon send you pictures?"
"They did." Mado scratches the back of his head. "Seina should be getting out of class soon."
"Thanks. We'll go—wait at Dorm Block 20." Except they're not heading there at all. Once they're out of Mado's sight, Kurona and Seidou maneuver towards the main quad. Houji will probably be there. They pass the red-painted lockers and climb a set of stairs, loitering outside the familiar classroom.
"I feel like Mado is going to come and bust us for playing hooky," comments Kurona.
"I know, right?" Seidou's palms sweat. He wipes them on his jeans.
The bell rings. Students stream into the hallways, books clutched to their chest, chatter splattering the air. Shio Ihei sees them and waves, a huge grin on his face. Kurona waves back.
"Hey, Shio," calls Kurona. "Is everyone out of Houji's classroom?"
"Let me check." He peeks in. Rikai wanders past, arm linked with Yusa's. "Yep, he's alone in there!" Shio grabs his friends and scuttles away, laughing hysterically.
"Shio!" Seidou squawks. Now Houji probably thinks some student is about to stride in with a lead pipe to bludgeon him to death. Which is distinctly possible at this school.
"Let's go." Kurona grabs Seidou's hand. He pushes his way through the flood of students, stepping over the threshold into the classroom. Houji's on his feet, no doubt expecting a nerf gun at best.
"Hi," says Seidou. His lunges freeze. They feel like they're about to burst. He can't exhale. His throat tightens.
"Takizawa," Houji says. He steps out from behind his desk. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to—talk," Seidou ekes out. He wants to run. When he looks into the eyes of a man whom he knows actually cared for him, who sees him as Kanou's accomplice, he wishes he had died in the auction hall.
But no, I can't think that. It's wrong. Kuro's here, and he remembers her rushing in, how she saved him from that knife.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." Not the truth, but closer to it.
Houji arches his eyebrows. "Teaching's going well."
"Tatara not being too obnoxious?" Kurona jokes. Houji frowns. His feud with Tatara is legendary.
"I just—wanted—to stop by and say I was sorry for not keeping in touch more," Seidou says. He stuffs his fists into his pockets. "Especially since—well—you know—you really encouraged me when I was a student here. Especially when I was a junior."
Houji's eyes widen. He adjusts his tie. "That's what you came here to say?"
It's not good enough, is it? It's never good enough. Seidou's shoulders slump. He looks down at his hands and sees a smear of dust from the bus. I'm—
"Why do you act like you hate him?" Kurona demands. "Why are you even working here if you hate him or me for working with Kanou? You're surrounded by screwed-up kids and you're supposed to give them a second chance. What, do you think it's just one chance? Or just a second one? There are third and fourth and fifth and sixth chances. It's not some simple straight path upwards that we climb up one step at a time—we fall—we take steps back because we get lost—we can't see—"
Kurona! His girlfriend folds her arms. Seidou can't bring himself to look at Houji.
"He really cares about you, you know," she adds, voice rough. "He—" She stops.
I'm a loser.
But for whatever reason, he's never been one to her. Kurona's eyes glitter, and her fists clench. She's angry for him.
A hand lands on his shoulder. Seidou sucks in his breath, looking up into Houji's face. "I don't hate you, Takizawa."
He tries to swallow. He can't.
"You were a kid," Houji says. "You were both kids. He—what he made you do—" Houji shakes his head. "I should have pressed harder when you started becoming withdrawn, Takizawa."
You—blame yourself?
Why?
A tiny smile appears on Kurona's lips.
"I don't see you as Kanou's accomplice," Houji says. "You saw yourself that way."
"You don't get to say that when you didn't make any effort to show him otherwise," Kurona objects.
Seidou's head spins. He turns to look at his old teacher. Their gazes latch onto each other's, and Seidou wants to vaporize again.
Houji's lips press together. "True."
What?
"I'm sorry," Houji says formally, holding out his hand.
Seidou gapes, but he takes it. "I'm—sorry too. I just—wanted to make you proud." Wanted to atone for what I did to my parents, even if it was an accident. The admission burns his tongue, sending his esophagus into spasm. He could gag.
Houji swallows. He reaches out, and wraps an arm around Seidou.
Huh?
He's—embracing me?
Houji releases him quickly. Kurona smiles. "Keep in touch, Takizawa."
He nods. "I—will." He turns to leave. "Houji?"
He turns around.
"Thank you."
"Well, that went better than I expected," Kurona remarks as they exit. Most of the students have left, heading to Anteiku's snack bar or the library or one of the forests to make out or their dorms. "I'd been wanting to unload on him for a long time."
"I guess we were wrong," Seidou mumbles.
"We've been wrong before." Kurona reaches out and takes his hand. He looks down at her as they head down the path towards Dorm Block 20. I love you.
"Hey! Hey, Takizawa! Yasuhisa!"
They spin around to see Hajime racing towards them, a boy with green and black hair running after him. Who is that?
Wait. Shikorae?
"This is Rio," Hajime says. "He's Rio now."
"Nice to meet you, Rio," says Kurona, sticking out her hand. Seidou copies her. He feels a strange kinship with this kid when he sees the haunted look in Rio's pale eyes. But, his lips form a smile.
"Can you take a picture of the two of us and send it to Mutsuki?" asks Hajime, referencing his old tutor. "And tell him I passed my latest chemistry exam. Tatara made sure it wasn't easy, though."
"Where's your phone?" asks Seidou.
He scowls. "Tatara confiscated it when I got caught using it in class. Not during the test; the test was last week and we just got results back today. But I don't want to wait to tell Mutsuki—please?"
"Okay," Kurona says, holding out her phone. Hajime grabs Rio. They both beam.
"Honestly, fuck Tatara," says Hajime. Rio nods eagerly.
A delicious, devilish scheme begins to form in Seidou's mind as he remembers Houji's feud with Tatara. "Hey, Rio, Hajime," says Seidou. "Shio told us you like pranks. I have this idea about Tatara…"