a/n: So this is my first story here, and of course it would have to have an utterly cliche title. Complaints, cuss words or any form of review would be greatly appreciated! Enjoy (hopefully)
Summary: As Tsuna travels down the hard road to become the boss of the Vongola he's given up a lot, but there are some things he will never be able to give up. A look at how the relationship between Tsuna and Kyoko developed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters. Makoto (who you will meet later) is of my own creation.
"speaking" thinking
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Guardian Angel Chapter One: Stalemate
When he was younger, she had always been his inspiration, his resolve, his reason not to run away and leave it all behind. He was constantly dreaming of her and of the life he wanted with her. He worried himself to sleep each night wondering what does Kyoko-chan think of all this? She must think I'm so uncool...
Soon those simple days were behind him. It wasn't silly upper classmen he was facing anymore. These enemies were real, and Tsuna found himself staring death in the face. That wasn't so bad. What tore him apart was watching in horror as the people he cared about, his classmates - more than that, his family- were threatened. He worried about all of them, but he worried about Kyoko the most. His guardians were a tough bunch, they wouldn't have made it this far if they weren't. Again Tsuna found himself staring at the ceiling on late and lonely nights thinking of Kyoko. As the situations grew more dangerous it wasn't just about looking cool. His thoughts shifted to a new, more serious direction: I've got to protect Kyoko, with my life if that's what it takes.
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The seasons rolled by, and the unrelenting passage of time dragged Tsuna and his family deeper and deeper into the mafia world. Tsuna had always felt it, from the moment Reborn told him his destiny, but he still worked hard to resist the inexorable pull into a cruel world he wanted no part in. He felt as though he had been set on a downhill course riding a sled with no brakes. Once he started sliding down, there was no turning back. All he could do was build up momentum until he reached maximum velocity and pray he didn't take too many people with him. So goes the journey to becoming the tenth mafia boss of the Vongola family.
Along that horrible journey, he found himself succumbing to the world of the mafia in ways he swore he never would. The first day he took a man's life was one of his worst. That day he gave up what he felt was his last shred of honor and decency. Tsuna's pure, innocent heart shattered into a million pieces. Though his heart had been broken, he still had one, which was more than could be said for most mafia bosses. At the bitterest of times all that let him know he was alive was the anger and the overwhelming sadness he felt ever since he realized that he and his friends had been plunged into such a life. Somehow, he endured it all, if only for her.
Giving up his mother had been an even worse day. An enemy family had threatened the Vongola family in an attempt to gain some sensitive intel and thought that taking Tsuna's mother hostage would be good leverage for negotiations. Tsuna showed them just how wrong they were. That family was no longer around to threaten anyone ever again; Tsuna had made sure of that personally. After that incident, the realization that he had to give up his mother hit him with its full force.
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Gokudera was with Tsuna when the worst revelation of all hit him. It was shortly after Tsuna had severed all ties with his mother. The gaping wound from that painful experience was still fresh on his heart. Gokudera had been waiting patiently to give a briefing on the success of his latest mission with the Baseball Nut when Tsuna leapt out of his chair saying, "There's no way!"
"What is it, Tenth?" Gokudera asked, dynamite already in hand. Gokudera had learned, as they all had, that it was necessary to be prepared for an attack at all times.
After Tsuna calmed down the excitable bomb man, he asked, "Gokudera, I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but would you mind finishing this some other time? I need some time to think."
Gokudera stammered out an, "Of course, Tenth!" as he left the office in bewilderment. After Gokudera left, Tsuna collapsed. Really, though, what choice do I have? Kyoko is in danger just being my friend. I can never ask her to be something more. Just when things were stable, and I was finally ready to declare my love for her, I have to give this up too? It's for her own good. It's selfish to keep her near me for my own happiness. I won't even stay friends with her if it's going to put her in danger.
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For what seemed like ages he warred with himself. He couldn't bear to lose his friend, his inspiration, the one shred of sanity he had left to cling to. Kyoko had become his beacon of light in a world full of darkness. Yet how could he remain her friend if it would put her in danger? Finally Tsuna formed his resolve, only to have it come crumpling down. As Tsuna stood in front of Kyoko, he discovered that there was one thing in this world he would never be able to give up.
After discovering that he could never give Kyoko up, Tsuna remained her friend and did his best to support her and take care of her. In this way, Tsuna found himself a mere spectator in the love life of the one who mattered most. As Kyoko struggled through various relationships, Tsuna could only sit on the sidelines. Locked in a stalemate with his own heart, he was resolved never to confess to the girl he loved, yet unable to turn his back on his dearest friend.
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a/n: Well, that wraps up chapter one. Please review!
