Slash, slash
Chapter One – Suicidal
"Here we are... Just the thing for a little stress relief! Listen up Universe…Today I am on holiday!" The Doctor whips off his leather jacket and tossing it on the roaming coat rack, reaches for a Panama from a storage space under the lounge seat. "Nothing better than a restful day on the sunny and beautiful beaches of Lornskien." He pops the Panama on his head. "No companions to fret over (at the moment anyway), no Daleks, no Voord, no apocalypses, no flesh eating viruses… Well … flesh eating viruses… Lornskien …it is behind the third moon of… No! It doesn't matter. I simply won't eat the trascot. No troubles today!" He reaches in to the lounge again and grabs a beach towel. "I am ON HOLIDAY!"
Yanking open the door with an ecstatic grin, The Doctor receives a face full of freeze as snow avalanches inside. "Fantastic!" he says, his grin ever so slightly losing its ecstasy while spewing snow. "I was afraid I would be bored."
Turning inside The Doctor shakes the snow from his T-shirt and jeans and strides to the center to punch a few buttons on the console. "T.A.R.D.I.S., my sexy devil with a blue dress on…" Turning from the console, he points the sonic at open snow filled doorway. "THIS is NOT Lornskien. Looks more like ... Siberia, Earth ... actually." He studies the sonic before returning it to his pocket, tossing the beach towel, and reaching for his leather jacket again. "What is going on here?" Pushing the door, The Doctor notices that the snow has blocked it open. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I am still going on Holiday."
Returning to the console, he opens a cabinet to the left of the view screen and tries to connect a cable from somewhere inside to a glowing cylinder in a recessed part of the lower console. "Oh that's right; I didn't replace the connector yet," he lamented while pulling tape from somewhere under the console and taping the cable to the glowing cylinders. "OK…" he announces to the void, pulling a lever on the console, "improvised snow removal device online and…?" With a glow seen though the open door, the snow surrounding the T.A.R.D.I.S. not only melts but also evaporates within seconds. "Fantastic!" The Doctor glances around. "Humm… It's more fun being brilliant when someone's there to fawn." Walking over, The Doctor almost has the door closed when he hears a robotic voice from outside start a hateful, metallic chant. "Exterminate, Exterminate, Exterminate, Exterminate".
Slowly he reopens door to peer out into the snow.
"Belay that order," announces a second voice as someone grabs The Doctor's arm and slams him into the doorframe. "You are under arrest for attempted suicide!" "What are you talking about? Who are …" Looking out into the melted snow surrounding the T.A.R.D.I.S., a boy (about 10?) in a wheelchair has a toilet plunger tied to his head, a strange electronic device attached over his mouth and is pointing a presentation laser pointer at him. The Doctor is both amused and bewildered with the sight, even as he feels the handcuffs being clamped down on his wrists from the intruder behind him.
"Who are you?"
The boy removes his mouthpiece and replies in a normal voice "Slash, Slash, you should know this already. For a grown up you suck at this." Replacing his mouthpiece, he continues in a Dalek voice. "Correct, you are suicidal. Why do you wish to be exterminated? What secrets are you hiding?"
"I'm hiding nothing. I am simply on holiday. Let's start over. Hello, I'm The…"
The Boy interrupts, "We are all too aware of who you are. You are The Doctor. Therefore, you are suicidal. I will escort you to the Dalek Queen for interrogation."
"I'm sorry did you just say, the Dalek Queen? That's a new one!…Fantastic, in fact... in a terrifying way. Where exactly is this …Dalek Queen?" The Doctor finally gets a look at the second person who appears to be a young man, perhaps twenty, in an early 1900s bobby uniform.
"You will meet Dalek Queen when you are interrogated," replies the boy. "Then you will be exterminated. Now march."
"Interrogation and extermination…definitely NOT on the holiday agenda."
The boy repeats "March!"
"Or what, you'll laser point me to death?"
The Bobby steps up, "Slash, Slash, identifying accessories outside of their applicable roles is forbidden. You may be suicidal but don't try to bring us down with you."
"Wha…Fine then!" He hands the handcuffs to the very surprised Bobby. "Let's go see the bloody queen." Throwing his Panama inside, he pulls the T.A.R.D.I.S. door closed with a slam. He walks up to the 'Dalek' boy while pulling his jacket close around himself and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I have all the time in the universe for a holiday. Which way?"
The bobby walks to a snow bank and opens a refrigerator door standing in the snow. "This way."
"Will you look at that!" The Doctor peers through the door and down the stairs. "It's bigger on the inside!"
"So where are… we… going?" asks The Doctor while noticing the 'Dalek' boy has left his wheelchair behind. "You know that's a dirty trick, trying to get sympathy with that wheelchair out there."
Both boys replied at once "You are being escorted to the Dalek Queen for interrogation," states the 'Dalek' boy.
"Slash, Slash, identifying accessories outside of their applicable roles is forbidden," states the bobby.
"Yes, yes I know we are going to see the Queen Dalek, you say," turning from 'Dalek' boy to the bobby, The Doctor continues, "What's all this 'Slash, Slash' stuff?"
The boys pause at the bottom of the stairs "She is in the control room," 'Dalek' boy answers. The Doctor turns to the bobby.
"And your answer?"
The bobby frowns, "Slash, Slash I think acknowledging the 'Slash, Slash' while in character would be the same as identifying accessories outside of their applicable roles, don't you think?"
'Dalek' boy removes his voice modifier. "Slash, Slash I agree."
The Doctors eyebrows raise in understanding. "While...in..character? In character! Oh you're playing a game! I see and …"
Both boys interrupt. "LIFE is NOT a GAME!"
"Well yes of course, life is NOT a game. You are correct. So we are not playing a game… Um but... we…er … I mean… Slash, Slash… we are characters, yes?"
'Dalek' boy removes his voice modulator again. "Slash, Slash, uh yeah?" The bobby chimes in, "Slash, Slash, you're right. He does suck at this."
The Doctor grins with satisfaction at his linguistic breakthrough. "…and Slash, Slash, what exactly do I (a-hem) suck… at?"
Dalek Boy pulls at his modulator again. "Life."
"Oh…fantastic."