Magica's Dime
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
With thanks to that episode of Ducktales , Dough Ray Me, where UT invents a device that doubles stuff. And redoubles it. (Never mind anybody with the common sense God gave the hind end of a grasshopper could tell you that is BEGGING for trouble.)
Magica held the ordinary dime Mr. McDuck had given her. (1)
"I will enchant this dime and turn it into a magical charm much more powerful than Scroogie's silly Dime! It belonged to Scroogie and he gave it to me! It is similar to his dime! I will charge it with magic and use its powers against him!" Magica said.
It is a short while later. Mr. McDuck is heading to his Money Bin when he sees Magica. He is about to go into emergency protect the Bin and the Dime procedures when Magica merely throws something to the ground in disgust and says:
"Here! Take back this stupid dime you gave me! I tried to change it into a charm of great power and failed! So you might as well have it back!" and she flew off on her broomstick.
Curious, Mr. McDuck comes carefully forward to see what she threw- and it's a dime, an old but ordinary dime.
"Why, it's one of mine! This is the dime I gave to Magica- to remind her not to mess with me or my Dime again. It seems she did not learn her lesson, not that I expected her to. She tried to turn this dime into a magical charm! Of course she failed! My Dime is lucky because I EARNED it!" Mr. McDuck thought.
And he decided to return the prodigal (2) dime to his Bin.
MEANWHILE....Magica is back in her latest hideout, gloating.
"Scroogie does not know it yet, but I did enchant that dime! I could not enchant it to work AGAIST him, but I did enchant it to work FOR him...in ways whose results he will not like. It's only a dime, it cannot know the consequences of its actions...it can only grant Scroogie's fondest wish: to increase his fortune. It will increase Scroogie's fortune...until it BURIES him!" Magica cackled.
The next day, Mr. McDuck went into his Bin. He noticed something weird about it. Launchpad came into the Bin a short while later, he was supposed to do a money transfer to a foreign bank. The Trins tagged along after him. They saw Mr. McDuck "swimming" in his money- but he didn't seem to be enjoying himself. In fact, he seemed worried.
"What's wrong, Unca Scrooge? " Huey asked.
"There's more money in my Bin than yesterday- and I didn't PUT anymore money in! If somebody can put money in, they can take money out! SOMETHING weird is going on here! Ah! Look at this!" Mr. McDuck said flourishing something.
"It's just a dollar bill." Launchpad said.
"Ah! But see this one? It's EXACTLY the same- down to the SERIAL NUMBERS- in other words, it's COUNTERFEIT dollar bill. A perfect counterfeit- an exact duplicate! Now that I check further, I can see my money's been doubled- half is now perfect doubles of the first half.!" Mr. McDuck said.
"How? It would take magic to get into your bin and double your money..." Launchpad began.
Then all looked at each other at the word "magic" and together chorused "MAGICA!"
"Why would Magica want to increase your money, Unca Scrooge? Isn't that what YOU want?" Dewey asked.
"Not if it's not real money- not money I earned! If I spend two copies of the same bill..." he began
"You'd be accused of counterfeiting!" Louie replied.
"Worse! I'd be GUILTY of passing counterfeit money, since I know most of this money is bogus!" Mr. McDuck said.
"Er- Mr. McD? If your money has doubled since yesterday, what happens tomorrow? Or the day after that? How long till the money doubles until the Bin can't hold it anymore?" Launchpad asked.
"Why ... it matters if only the real money is doubling or if the fake money is doubling, too. If my money increased in half since yesterday, if both halves double today and each four double tomorrow...the Bin could burst in no time! Why?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"I don't know if I understand that quite (3)...but your money's grown since we've been in here." Launchpad said.
They looked and saw that Launchpad was all too right.. the money had not only grown since they entered, it was now blocking off the exit to the Money Bin! A "hill" of money was between them and the door out of the Money Bin!
"We're trapped!" Louie said.
"Nonsense! We'll just dig our way out!" Mr. McDuck replied.
And they tried. They climbed up the hill and dug where the exit should be. But the hill was composed of coins, which kept rolling and sliding back into place. Worse, the money kept growing, faster than they could dig. The fact that NONE of them, not even Mr. McDuck were 100% sure where the exit was, now that they couldn't see it, didn't help.
"We are trapped! We'll starve!" Launchpad said, trying not to panic. (4)
"No, we'll run out of air- or be buried in money- long before that!" Mr. McDuck replied.
"Not before you see your nephews and your foolish friend die!" Magica voice said.
"I enchanted that dime and saw to it that regained it! I figured you would take it into your bin! It will grant your fondest wish: to increase your fortune, until it kills you! But first, you will watch as your friend dies! You will watch as your nephews die, one by one! Only then, when it is almost a relief, will YOU die!" Magica gloated, projected her voice into the Bin via magic.
"And all because an enchanted dime is granting my fondest wish- to increase my money! I started my fortune with a Lucky Dime and it looks like my life ends with an enchanted dime!'"Mr. McDuck lamented.
"Well, I'm NOT giving up that easily! Launchpad! Get into the WWI surplus tank I use to protect the bank- and CRASH our way out of here!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
"You mean you WANT I should crash something? SURE!" Launchpad replied.
And Launchpad revved up the tank and aimed it for the part of the Bin that had been damaged recently by the Beagle Boys trying to break in (again!) and then repaired, figuring that was the Bin's weakest point. And driving the tank as fast as he could, he tried to smash thru the Bin.
But Magica used her magic to interfere. She made coins get under the tank's "wheels" making it lose traction. She made another "hill" of money rise up between the Bin and the tank and it took most of the impact of the crash.
Not that I'm sure it mattered, the Bin so ding-dang TOUGH I doubt the tank could have damaged it, never mind broken thru.
"Well, that didn't work. But this tank got a radio transmitter in it. Maybe I can contact Gizmoduck with it? He's on guard duty outside the Bin. If we let him know we're stuck in here, maybe he could get us out." Launchpad said.
"Why not just use a cell phone?" Huey asked, taking one out of his shirt pocket.
" I don't think a cell phone could get thru the thick walls of the Bin. I'm not sure a radio can, either. But why don't you try your cell phone and I'll try the radio?" Launchpad replied.
So Launchpad tried the radio and the Trins tried their cell phones (Mr. McDuck only bought them because he got all 3 for one price). At first, they could not get a message thru the thick walls of the Bin. But by all trying at the same time and screaming the same message at the top of their lungs, they got thru.
Good thing Giz was standing right in front of the bin or his radio might not have picked up a faint but desperate cry of "WE'RE STUCK IN THE BIN! GET US OUT OF HERE!"
"Mr. McDuck? I was starting to worry, you've been in there so long. What's wrong? " Giz asked.
"MAGICA TRAPPED US IN THE BIN! THE MONEY IS GROWING AND IT'S GOING TO CRUSH US! HELP! GET US OUT OF HERE!" everybody else screamed.
Meanwhile, back in the Bin:
"Don't worry, Unca Scrooge, Gizmoduck will break us out of here! You can always fix the Bin afterwards!" Dewey said.
" I'm not so sure about that, Dewey my lad. You see, after that business with that bogus Gizmoduck trying to break into my Bin (5), I had the Bin reinforced. Now, even Gizmoduck could not break into it. It seemed like a good idea at the time." Mr. McDuck said.
Giz was certainly trying to break into the Bin. At first, he tried to break in while causing as little damage to the Bin as possible. But his failures to so much as dent the bin got him mad and he tried more and more desperate measures. Nothing. The Bin was too well built for Giz to damaged it. Not without killing everybody inside it.
"We're going to die. All of us. And all because that dime I gave Magica is granting my fondest wish: to increase my fortune." Mr. McDuck said, who had actually given up.
"Wait a minute! That's it! Magica's dime is granting your fondest wish- that's all it can do! But is your fondest wish REALLY to increase your fortune, Mr. McDee?" Launchpad asked.
"Eh?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"The money is going to grow until it kills your nephews. Is your fondest wish to increase your fortune - or to save your nephews. Decide!" Launchpad said.
"To save my nephews, of course. In my heart of hearts, I know even if I were to lose ALL my money, I could always earn it back. But if I were to lose my nephews, I could never get them back- the money is replaceable, they are not!" Mr. McDuck said.
"Do you hear that, you stupid enchanted dime? His fondest wish is to save his nephews, not increase his money!" screamed Launchpad.
And someplace in the pile of money, the enchanted dime "heard". And it did the only thing it had been enchanted to do: grant Mr. McDuck's fondest wish. It saved his nephews lives. The bogus money disappeared, little by little, until only Mr. McDuck original fortune, the real money, remanded.
"Yah!" Everybody screamed.
And Mr. McDuck made sure all of his money was still there and then said:
"Thank you for reminding me of that, Launchpad. And thank you for saving our lives."
The End.
(1) See "Follow that Dime!"
(2)"When I use a word it means precisely what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less." I know "prodigal" actually means wastrel, I'm using it to mean lost and then found again.
(3) Neither do I. But remember that episode of DW where a plant grew money? Avatar of stitch in said:" That would be episode 12 "Easy Comes, Easy Grows".
Get what was wrong with that NOW? It's counterfeit money!
(4) I did mention my Launchpad suffers from claustrophobia, didn't I?
(5) "A friend in need" one of the multi-numerous Ducktales stories busy little beaver here has written.