Today was the day. After watching my favorite sport on television, Pokemon battling, I was going to set out on a Pokemon journey of my own. At first, I was going to do what all the regulars did - get a starter, use mostly that, and then get a few other Pokemon to take out the Gyms and stuff, and then level-grind my starter to sweep the Elite Four.
But last night, I had seen a Television program called "Nuzlocke". It was a run of a Pokemon journey except with real-life elements. Pokemon could die. You wouldn't have enough room to carry around more than a few Pokemon in your team. And Legendaries were too strong to capture and be used by you. It sounded like a challenge only a fool would attempt - but I was going to do that anyway. To prove I was the greatest trainer of all time. No one was gonna get in my way.
I went to visit the Professor. He was wearing a shabby white lab coat with several stains of many colors and wrinkles of many lengths. His blonde hair was messy and greasy, and his face had as many wrinkles as his lab coat. He also wore a red shirt with dark stains on it, and for whatever reason, he wasn't wearing pants. He was wearing white boxers with a red heart pattern. And his exposed legs were very hairy and gross. I myself was disgusted. He was inside of a large laboratory with many strange machines and computers surrounding me, but behind him something caught my eye. There was a table with three Poke Balls on it. I was about to pick my starter.
"Uh... Professor Oak?" I called out.
"Hello! I am Professor Oak! I am going to show you all about the world of Pokemon and-"
I knew what was coming. He was going to explain the concept of Pokemon to me, which was not at all what I needed. I had seen enough television programs and was a subscriber to Pokemon Weekly. What could he possibly have to say about Pokemon?
"Get on with it!" I interrupted. He exited the laboratory quickly. "Finally, he's gone." I said, still trying to get the image of boxer-clad Professor Oak out of my head.
"What is your name?" Another Professor asked me. This one was wearing an ill-fitting button-up lab coat, and many of the buttons weren't buttoned or were misaligned. He wore thick glasses and his head always seemed to be at a tilt. His hair was just as messy as Professor Oak's, but it wasn't nearly as greasy. On his lab coat was a crooked name tag which said "Elm".
"Only." I replied.
"Only? What kind of a stupid name is that?" I heard a voice which wasn't Elm's ask me.
"This is a Pokemon." Elm pointed at a short pink-and-white blob with large green eyes and rabbit ears, with tiny arms and big feet. On top of its head was a swirly tuft of hair. It was a Wigglytuff.
"Actually, it's a Wigglytuff." I replied.
"Smartass." I heard Elm say. "Okay, Totorida, Chikoquil, or Cyndadile?" Elm asked me in a slurred voice.
I remembered everything on television I'd seen. Those who picked Chikorita complained about how useless it was in the first two gyms. Those who picked Cyndaquil were always satisfied, but those who picked Totodile had no regrets. Also, I loved Water-types.
"Totodile!" I answered.
"We don't have Yoda, but we do have-"
I grabbed Totodile's Poke Ball and headed out on my way. "Okay thanks!"
"What a sweet old lady." I heard Elm say.
"Go home, Elm, you're drunk." That voice said.
"I AM home, lowly assistant. Besides, I'm drigh, not hunk. Now time to take over the world and stuff!"
Well, I'm not exactly sure that's what they said, but it was... interesting.
I looked at my Poke Ball. "So you're my starter." I said to the Poke Ball. "Now, I'm gonna have to give a name to you." I thought long and hard about what its name should be. It was a crocodile. Wait, a crocodile! The perfect name hit me. "Your name is Croc!" I said to the Poke Ball. "Go, Croc!" I threw the Poke Ball.
Out came a short, blue crocodile on two legs. Being a crocodile, it was scaly and its skin looked rough. Its jaw seemed to take up half its body, and it had a few red spikes running down its back. It looked energetic and happy to see me.
"You're my master!" Croc told me.
"Yes, I am." I told Croc. I was happy to see him, too. "Right now, it appears your moves are... Scratch, and Leer." I said to Croc.
"That's me, alright!" Croc said.
I explored the Route which I would be walking on in order to reach Cherrygrove. It seemed like a decent, quiet Route. And at this late at night, I saw lots of Hoothoot and Spinarak. And... (ugh) Rattata. I also bought some Poke Balls to catch new Pokemon.
After a bit of exploration, I decided to head back down to New Bark Town to get Croc some much-needed rest. Then, something unexpected happened.
My childhood rival popped up right behind me.
"Hello there, Only." My rival said with a sense of forced evil. He wore dark blue clothing all around, and he always had a forced sinister look on his face. His red hair was always neat and combed. Honestly, he looked somewhat like a girl. His name was Kirk, and he was always looking for some way to be badass.
"Go home, you gender-confused dumbass." I insulted.
Kirk glared at me. "I am NOT gender-confused! I know for a fact that I'm-" Kirk flexed his arms. "A boy!"
"Here we go..."
Kirk then scratched his chin. "No wait... A girl!"
I let out a sigh. "Kirk, I swear, if you continue to do that, I am going to jump into the waters right by New Bark."
"You do know the water's only, like, two feet deep, right?" Kirk asked.
"Killjoy." I responded.
"Anyway, you should check out this fabulous Pokemon I stole from some stoner in a lab! I bet it's stronger than yours, Only!" Kirk threw his Poke Ball. "Go, Chikorita!"
I almost laughed. "Chikorita? You mean, the most useless starter in all of Johto? I'm sorry, but if you picked that JUST because I picked Totodile, then you should just go home now."
"Shut up and show me your Pokemon!"
"Fine. Go, Croc!" I sent Croc out in his first fight.
"Croc, use Leer!" I commanded.
"Yes, master!" Croc leered at Chikorita. The Chikorita gave a frightened expression. I assumed this meant that its Defense had dropped.
"Tackle, Chikorita!" Kirk ordered. Chikorita lunged at Croc. Croc barely seemed fazed by the attack at all. "Now, Croc, finish it! Scratch."
"As you command!" Croc raised his claw into the air, and swiped at Chikorita with all his might.
"Mother of Mew..." Kirk watched in horror.
Chikorita's face was covered in blood. Croc's claw had some blood on it too.
"Looks like we win, Kirk. And next time, if you want to be so badass, don't go stealing useless Pokemon." I slammed.
After resting up over at New Bark, I remembered the Poke Balls I had bought. "Oh yeah, Croc, we're gonna get some new teammates! And you're gonna help me catch them!"
Croc saluted. "Aye, aye, sir!"
Our first catch was a Hoothoot. "Well, he does seem to enjoy standing there and watching things... Let's call you Watcher!"
The next catch of ours was a Spinarak. "Spider, arachnophobia... Your name is Phobia."
The catch after that was the very bane of my existence: Rattata. "Can't believe I ended up with one of these..." I sighed.
"How about we call it Scratch?" Croc asked.
"Eh, fine. You're Scratch."
After some battling, I had began to notice a few things.
Croc was certainly the most effective battler. His combination of Leer and Scratch was unrivaled, and it got even better when he learned Rage.
Watcher was an okay battler too. Even though he was a bit rude to me, he was a good battler too.
Phobia sucked. His only attacking move was Poison Sting, which did almost nothing. At least he was able to poison his enemies...
And as much as I hated to admit it, Scratch was actually pretty good. Maybe I was wrong to judge Rattatas...
The next thing I knew, I was battling a Hoothoot. "Go, Scratch!" I sent Scratch out into battle, with a change of heart for Rattata. "Use Tackle!" Scratch leaped at the Hoothoot - but it swiftly dodged the Tackle. "It's okay, Scratch, just try again next time!"
"Right." Scratch replied. Then...
The Hoothoot dove at Scratch with her beak in front. "Look out, Scratch!"
Her beak made contact with Scratch's head. Then, I saw Scratch's head get impaled. Scratch had died.
"Scratch!" I rushed to Scratch's dead body. Maybe, just maybe, it was still alive. No such luck.
"Scratch..." And just when I was beginning to be okay with Rattata, too. I was driven to tears. "Scratch..."
"You bitch!" Watcher flew right towards the Hoothoot which had murdered Scratch.
"Peck, Watcher!" Watcher flew straight threw the enemy Hoothoot, ripping it entirely into pieces.
"Good job, Watcher." I smiled. I went in for a hug.
"Woah, no homo man!" Watcher shoved me aside.
See what I meant by rude?
Up ahead, near the next gym, there was a small cave. I went inside. Well, I should have known that was a mistake. It was pitch-black inside, to the point where I couldn't see anything. "Hello? Pokemon? You in here? Geodude? Zubat? Anyone?"
I stepped on a rock. "Ow!" I heard a voice.
"Woah!" I stepped back.
"Dude, watch it!" It wasn't a regular rock. It was a Geodude.
"Yes, a Geodude! This will make the Flying Gym so much easier!" I caught the Geodude in a Poke Ball.
"What do we name this one?" Phobia asked.
"Shut up, Phobia, you don't get a say in this." Watcher answered.
"It's tough, sturdy, protective... I'll name it Helmet."
"That's a nice name." The Geodude answered.
"Time to go take on the gym."
We finally made it to Violet. "Alright, now my team so far! Croc!"
Croc gave his signature salute. "Here, sir!"
"Watcher!"
Watcher appeared to be smoking a cigarette of some sort. "Yeah sure man I'm here."
"Phobia!"
Phobia gave an eager expression. "Am I strong enough for the gym?"
"No." I answered. "Helmet!"
Helmet was lifting a large dumbbell. "Do... You... Even... Lift?"
We all approached the gym. It was a small building with the words "Flying Gym" scribbled over the front of it, and a wooden door which needed to be replaced badly. Next to the gym stood a sign which read "Lifters Wanted."
"I lift." Helmet replied to the sign.
"Okay, guys, time to get our first badge."