1. Dirty Laundry: Bitter Sweet

I'm sitting here on my best friends lap in a dark bar with loud music and lots of drinks spilling, helping him hide from a familiar voice. Auggie's head is nuzzled in the crook of my neck and my hands can't help but snake their way into his hair. I peer over his shoulder and whisper in his ear… "She's leaving."

"Are you sure?"

"Auggie, you know this isn't my first mission right? And technically this isn't even a mission, I'm helping you avoid a run in with a woman you claim to be a stalker." His hands graze down my pants and back up to my side. My breathe hitches.

"No, but this might be one of your most enjoyable if I am not mistaken. I never get to hear your voice catch the way it does as it is right now when I am sitting at my desk listening. Either I need better equipment or I need to be your side more often"

I jump off his lap, but my hand never leaves his body. "Come on lover boy, let's get you home."

2. I Know You Know: Bassmaster

I was free. I burned the note. I burned the bridge that kept me connected to the past. I smiled. On my own I smiled. I felt like dancing. I felt like finding Auggie. I needed to find him. To tell him. To smile with him without restriction.

3. A White Demon Love Song: The Killers

I woke up and he wasn't there. I sigh, how could I have expected anything else? He will never be there for me when I want him there. He will only be there when he wants to be. Is that why I want him? he is the forbidden fruit? He is the one that I can't have. But should I even want him? What has he even done for me other than hurt me? Betray me? And what… I am to sit here in the morning like this wondering whether I have earned his attention for the day? How can I equate this to love?

I have learned better. To love you first have to be respected. Auggie would never do this to me. He would be there, and if he wasn't I could trust he would be there moments later. What I have with Ben isn't love it is an addiction to his approval.

4. Gold Lion: Yeah Yeah

My car sped through the metropolis scenery in and out of stop lights and one way streets. The signs were a blur. They had him. They had my mark. Joan told me to stand down and the extraction team would be there, but I had my doubts. Jai was leading the extraction team and he followed orders a little to well. Always waiting until being told what to do versus figuring it out on his own. I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize this man's life. Auggie trusted me as he watched my GPS, he even gave me the address. No one would understand our connection, but it seemed that Auggie and I were cut from the same moral cloth… there had to be a balance between the greater good and the value of an individual's life.

5. Fly Me Away: Goldrapp

All I did was joke about freezing this morning. This afternoon I returned to my desk after being out in the field and playing with DC traffic on ice, there were two tickets to Grand Cayman sitting on my keyboard, dated for this weekend. The first ticket was made in my name and the second his - August Anderson. I smile and then walk into the tech office.

He pulls down his head phones, and smiles.

"Annie, your back. Have you been by your desk?"

"Yes, Auggie - this is too much for such a short trip."

"That mean that you'd go on a longer trip with me?" he smiled. I tried to come up with something to say when he continued. "Well I tried to get us this upcoming Monday off but with that recent mishap in Texas Joan is anticipating we will have a lead by next week to follow up on. "

"Auggie…"

"Annie, I know, but here's the thing. I'm familiar with this resort I booked the suite at, before I lost my sight I had a mission there and secondly you're not the only one freezing."

"Did you say we'd be sharing a suite?"

"Yeah, if you'd prefer…"

"No…That's perfect. Thank you." And with that I hugged him, kissed his cheek and left him with a perplexed look on his face.

6. You Found Me: The Fray

I crawled to the center of the room. I could smell her - grapefruit, vanilla, and rust - no blood. Please Annie be ok, you can't be hurt!

"Annie! Where are you? Annie, please, please talk to me."

"Auggie, are you ok?" Her voice was strained, and yet she was worried about me. Me, the one that got us into this situation. Had I not been trying to track those Russians that had threatened Tash this never would have happened.

My hands were still bound, but I could move.

I found her. Annie. My hands find there way to her face. Her breath is shallow.

"Annie, please tell me you have a phone on you."

"My inside jacket pocket. " I reach for it, and I feel the warm liquid.

"It's just a flesh wound. Don't worry. You're ok. That means I'm ok."

7. I Feel It All: Fiest

There are other women at the CIA right? Between Jai, Ben, Conrad, and even Auggie. I'm not sure. Anyone of those choices would leave me in a situation I am not sure I can handle.

Jai- CIA royalty. I would be under higher scrutiny then I already am. He is sweet and seems sincere even when he is doing something that I don't agree with, but I fear that something we would disagree with would turn us into enemies.

Ben - He deserts me and wants forgiveness. I take him in again, and he does this again. Great mix there.

Conrad - It could never be anything deep… I'd just be using him.

Auggie - I can't lose him without losing myself. He is my anchor. He is my friend. He has my heart but I can never tell him that.

8. Waiting on the World to Change: John Mayer

The job is not ever going to be any change. He is not going to be change, at least I hope he doesn't, he's perfect. So what am I waiting for? Some cosmic event that says that it is ok for me to love again? The choice is mine not anyone else's. He has made it clear that I mean more than just a friend to him without any pressure. No matter what, he is there for me. Unconditional love. I just need to be able to love myself before I can accept it from him. This isn't something anyone else can help me with. It is simply a question as to whether Auggie's with worth the risk of me sorting through my history and as to why I took the Ben incident so seriously.

9. Silence: Delirium

We're in Venice. This mission required that the whole team go to the remote location so that the tech could be duplicated and then given back to our inside contact so that we could track the buyer. Because of the nature of this tech Auggie had to come on this mission. To say that I was at the same time delighted and scared out of my mind about having Auggie along was an understatement. I trust him, but I can't trust myself around him. I find him to be one of the bravest, most adaptable, and intelligent men I know. But the innocence of a touch with him is always throwing my signals off. I know it is our way of communicating, but what are we saying? It is like there is always this underlying, silent message that is sent with each touch that we share, and they aren't directions.

So after completing the mission this evening, we decided to go out to dinner. Fabulous food and wine. That alone is reason to never forget this evening. But outside of this beautiful church under a full moon Auggie leans down to me, while running his hand down my arm to my fingers and whispers in my ear " What do you want to see tonight?"

"You." Did I just say that out loud?

10. Teardrops: Massive Attack

His hands softly glided down my back as he pulled me closer to his chest. I take a breath as the heat of our proximity excites our fragrances. It's funny; he says he can always tell that it is me by the smell of grapefruit that fills his senses when I walk in the room, but in the very moment its as if I am losing my sight as well and all I can register is the exotic sensation of grapefruit, pine, rosemary and mint. His head drifts closer to mine. Our cheeks hover enjoying the anticipation of contact. My hands travel up his chest and secure around his neck. His lips find mine and all I can think is that finally after all these years I am with the man I will be with forever. He pulls back… "Annie, I taste tears."