He should be doing something.
His gut never lied. Even though he was a Nobody, gut 'feelings' could still be 'felt.' It was a paradox of sorts, he thought, that they could have semblance of 'feeling' just to be reminded of what it truly felt like.
Emotions were tricky. They liked to waltz around under the disguises of another. For example, Sadness often looked like Anger at first glance. It took a practiced eye to tell the difference. Zexion would probably have worded that a bit more elegantly. Said something about how 'masquerading as something else, regardless of how well the disguise is crafted, does not hinder your true nature' or some shit like that.
Huh, who was he trying to fool?
Hell if he knew.
It was something…something pretty important…
Axel raised his arms and put them behind his head. Even the pillow felt unwelcoming under his head. Which was extremely odd, he normally felt a shadow of enjoyment while lying on his bed. The sheets felt warm against his cold body (cause, without a heart, why did the body need to stay warm…) and the pillow gave him a semblance of security. Most of the other Nobodies didn't use their room. Didn't feel like it was necessary. Sleeping was something that Axel felt he could say, without a doubt, made him feel something.
That is, if safe counted.
Nah, it probably didn't.
Why did he feel so damn antsy all of a sudden? It was like he couldn't sit still, well, not that he ever could mind you, but his mind was wandering too. Axel sat up and looked around the room, his room, he reminded himself.
It was hard to understand how possessive he, no, Lea, once felt about his things. Lea would not only have claimed this room as his own, but Isa's and all the other's too. It was because, as Lea would claim, he knew all of them so therefore, everything they owned was his too.
Axel shook his head. His Somebody was an idiot. A total, bleeding idiot. If his Somebody had so little sense, why was he trying to become him again? Axel wasn't so sure. Sometimes it was because that's what he was told he was supposed to be doing, sometimes it was because he missed the feeling that a heart provided, but mostly?
It was because of the emptiness.
Where his heart should be Axel knew there was nothing, a hole. A hole that kept him from being whole.
Wait...
Heh. That was funny. A hole that kept from being whole. When did he get so hilarious?
Hell if he knew.
His gut still told him something was going to happen. Something that he could stop, or that he should be a part of. Why even bother? It's not like he'd be any better off. He'd still feel empty.
Axel swung his gaze around his room. The white never felt so offensive before. Why couldn't it be red, orange, blue, even? Psh. Whatever. Didn't matter right?
He walked over to the window. It was black, gray, and, white as far as the eye could see. Maybe some blues and purples thrown into the mix, but that was just residual Darkness.
Axel let his hand wander along the ledge of his window. Up above, in the sky, he saw a bright heart-shaped moon. Kingdom Hearts. Apparently it was formed out of the Hearts that the Heartless had devoured from people. An odd thought if you asked him. How many people had to die to create this? For most humans, the body, mind, and soul cannot live on without the Heart. So, they just vanish or turn into another soldier in the legion.
Except for the rare human. Some Hearts are stronger than others. And when a person with one of those stronger Hearts gets swallowed by Darkness and their Heart leaves them…well, they become a Nobody. A Nobody with only a shadow of what used to be their Heart. The real thing is in some bastard Heartless' stomach.
Pleasant thought.
Axel's fingers brushed something that wasn't the smooth bit of wall. He looked down, eyebrow raised.
In his hand was a small object made of wood. It was mildly sticky, but…smelled kind of sweet. The object was long and rounded at the edges. On one side the word 'WINNER' was printed. Axel nearly dropped the stick.
Winner.
He knew that it was the stick from a SeaSalt Ice Cream pop, but if this was his he'd never have saved it. He'd have marched straight back to the stand to get another pop. Who did he know who'd not only save their winner stick, but leave it in his room?
Roxas.
That little blond had done more things with Axel in his year here than anyone else, really. Even Saix. What was he up to? Axel noticed that something had been off about their little keybearer recently. But that still doesn't explain why the Popsicle stick would be here.
If he were Lea, Axel knew he'd be feeling confused, maybe abandoned or upset. But he was Axel, Axel the Nobody; and Nobodies' didn't feel.
So then, what was the almost panic-y 'feeling' building up in his chest?
Hell if he knew.
…..
Here you go! I have to say, even though I think that it's kinda on the short side, it was really fun to write! I love writing internal monologues. *happy sigh* So this one was written for MistyAngel2, on another site. I hope you enjoyed it~! Tell me what you think!