Loss of a Hero
Missing Scene from Heroes
Jack slowly crawled his way back to consciousness, becoming increasingly aware that his body was in pain, but as much as he wanted to shy away from that feeling and sink back into the comforting darkness of oblivion, something was nagging him. He had a vague suspicion that he was sleeping through something important, and from past experience, pain and injury were generally connected to a battle of sorts, which in turn was connected to there being some enemy involved, in which case it was possible that danger still lurked.
With these thoughts filtering into his brain, Jack reluctantly gave into the instinct to protect himself and his team, jerking himself awake and attempting to go into defensive manoeuvres.
"Damn!" he gasped, his arms automatically wrapping around the explosion of pain in his torso. Momentarily overwhelmed he collapsed back onto the pillows - which is when he realised he was lying on a bed that was familiar but not quite his own.
"Ahh..." he exhaled. The infirmary. Well that made a certain sense, although something was missing.
He frowned, trying to remember what had happened to land him there this time.
Chances were he'd been shot, but that didn't narrow it down much. "I hope shots of my ass serve you well."
Jack blinked up in surprise at the ceiling. That was an odd thing for him to have said.
Someone wanted an interview... he gradually recalled, and then remembered the TV crew that had been irritating the hell out of all the SGC personnel.
SG-13 had been relieved to be scheduled for a mission, and Dixon especially had enjoyed rubbing the fact in Jack's face...
But they had gotten into trouble, and Wells had been shot-
Jack lurched upright again as all the memories flooded back. The large-scale rescue attempt, the massive army of Jaffa, being outnumbered, the single Jaffa trying to sneak around them, Jack's attempt to stop him, and then being blasted off his feet as agony engulfed him.
Jack couldn't remember hitting the ground, or anything about getting back to the base, but he finally recognised what was missing.
There was none of the hustle and bustle around the infirmary that he was used to, and most significantly, no Doc Fraiser gently but firmly pushing him back down, insisting that he needed to rest.
Feeling very uneasy, Jack scanned the room for any sign of life. The privacy curtains were drawn around a few of the beds, which indicated he was not the only one wounded, although it still shed no light on why Janet wasn't here fretting over everyone.
It took a few moments, but gradually he noticed the sound of quiet sobbing coming from the far corner, drawing his gaze to the lone nurse who sat there with her face buried in her hands.
Okay, something was definitely wrong here.
He wanted to attract her attention unobtrusively, but coughing was too painful, so he gently cleared his throat, wishing he knew the young woman's name. Unfortunately, most of the time he spent in the infirmary was spent complaining, not getting to know the staff.
In any case, she looked up, and then hastily dashed away the tears streaking her face. "You're awake," she said weakly, standing up and moving to his bedside.
A sarcastic reply formed in Jack's mind, but he didn't think it would be appropriate considering that the nurse was obviously upset about something. "Yeah," he agreed.
She glanced over him with dull, lifeless eyes, and observed with a similar tone, "You should be lying down."
Jack frowned slightly, and the nurse sighed before retrieving a few pillows from an adjacent bed and propping them up behind him so he could rest while still remaining upright.
Jack gave her a warm smile for the gesture of understanding, but her lips didn't even twitch in response. The girl was thoroughly miserable for some reason, and while he suspected that she wouldn't want to talk about it, Jack felt compelled to ask.
"What's wrong?"
Her eyes widened, and then filled with tears. "You don't know," she whispered in horror, looking again to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
Ignoring the protests of his body, Jack shifted sideways and allowed the trembling nurse to sink onto his bed to avoid collapsing in a heap on the floor.
"What happened?" he prompted softly, taking her hand in his own and gently squeezing it.
The nurse was visibly trying to compose herself, but the tears spilled from her eyes despite her best efforts. "She's dead," came the barely audible words.
Jack's stomach clenched painfully, and he almost didn't want to know, but the question escaped his lips anyway. "Who?"
Deep brown wells of sorrow looked up at him as she murmured, "Janet."
Jack stopped breathing, frozen in shock. No. It wasn't possible. Janet couldn't die. She was the person who saved lives on a daily basis, had saved his life and those of his team on more than one occasion. How could anyone just take her life away? It wasn't right, this couldn't be happening.
But the pieces fit. Why else would the nurse be here alone, sobbing her heart out? Why else wouldn't Janet be here, keeping a close eye on her patients until she was certain they would all be okay, and then remaining to fuss over them as they recovered? Why else would there be such a heavy feeling of loss and mourning, and such a diminished sense of life in the infirmary?
Why else would tears be welling up in the eyes of a hard-ass, Special Ops trained, US Air Force Colonel?
Janet was dead. Gone forever. Just like Charlie, and Kawalsky, and John, and...
Anguish flooded Jack's heart. He had lost another close friend. Had he ever told her what she meant to him, how much he respected her, how much he appreciated everything she had done for him despite his grumbling?
And now it was too late.
"O-on the planet," the nurse continued brokenly. "A Jaffa just – he just – there was nothing anyone could do..."
Jack's grief was too great to deal with at the moment, so he buried it, denied it, focusing on the young woman in front of him. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and when she didn't resist pulled her into a gentle hug. She cried into his shoulder while he held her, unable to offer words of comfort, because he knew they were never enough, and he had none to give. Nothing could make this right.
He closed his eyes against the stubborn tears that refused to be suppressed, and felt one slide down his cheek. He was struggling to keep himself together, and what did that say for everyone else? How were Carter, Daniel and Teal'c doing? Sam had been the closest to Janet, but the Doctor had been a good friend to all of them, and this loss would have hit hard.
Dammit, Jack, they need you, he reprimanded himself sharply. Why did you have to go and get yourself shot? Better yet, why weren't you there to protect Janet in the first place?
That's not fair, the calmer part of his mind countered. You couldn't be everywhere, protecting everyone. You did your best, and so did everyone else. There is no one to blame but the Jaffa who shot her.
Jack accepted the truth of that grudgingly, but it didn't change the fact that he should be there for his team now. They shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Eventually the tears slowed and the nurse pulled away, looking grateful but embarrassed at the same time. "Thanks," she whispered, and Jack simply nodded.
"I need to go find my team," Jack told her after a moment, and before she could protest started the painful process of getting off the bed.
"I think Janet would want you to rest," the nurse said quietly, her words stopping Jack in his tracks. There was a few moments of silence, before Jack sadly dipped his head in acknowledgment. He knew she was right, and out of respect for his late doctor, he stopped trying to rise from his bed and allowed the nurse to help him lie down again.
"I'll let your team know you're all right," the nurse assured him, smiling faintly for the first time."They could do with some good news. Now get some rest."
Jack nodded tiredly, physical and emotional fatigue swiftly catching up with him.
The nurse started to walk away, but Jack called after her and she paused, looking back with her eyebrow slightly raised.
He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. "I just wanted to say thanks. I wouldn't be here without you guys and – and I know Janet would be proud."
End
Author's Note: I know later on in the episode Jack is in a private room... but I'm just gonna say he was moved there later. I hope you enjoyed this missing scene. Thanks for reading, and I'd appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Revhead29