A/N: Written for the Whouffaldi Fanfiction Countdown (Week 6 – till 19th September)
Prompt: "Do you love me?"
The fic doesn't have to include this line
Hope this is fluffy enough… :)
With You I Am Complete
It was Friday evening. Clara was lying on the sofa in her living room, eyes fixed on the window, looking outside, listening to the rain that was drumming against the window ledges. All her marking was finished and she had nothing to do, so she indulged in the sadness that started looming over her. She stood up, went over to the window and sighed. She hated when she felt like this... She hated that these conditions were more frequent in the last two months than they used to be.
Despite the rain and cold breeze, she decided to go for a short walk because it usually helped.
This time not so much.
Clara returned to her flat, sat down on her couch and kept on looking outside. Her mind was still occupied with her impossible man who also was the reason why she was sad. Not that he did something bad...
The Doctor started to be more affectionate with her. Hugs, holding hands... That all was routine now. And it was wonderful.
Every touch, every hug, every smile made her high, pumped her with happiness, energy and adrenaline. However, the happier she was while being with him, the more it hurt when she was alone again. It was like walking around with a knife jabbed in her chest.
Clara knew she loved him and there was no point in lying to herself like she used to do it. It just wasn't possible anymore. She couldn't even describe how strong her feelings for him were.
The Time Lord may have showed more affection, yet he never kissed her, never talked about how he feels... She gave him some careful hints, but he never responded.
"Best friends" - that was the term.
The weight on her mind and chest started to be unbearable and Clara just wanted to get it off. Be next to him, run with him, hug him and smile at him as if nothing was happening and keep all her true feelings inside at the same time. She just couldn't bare it anymore. They were eating away at her... Made her fly, let her fall and hit the ground. Over and over. Like a drug.
Clara wanted to tell him. But what would he say to that? She feared that he would get uncomfortable with her and that their relationship would become tense... Maybe he wouldn't want to travel with her anymore.
Clara rested her head on the backrest of her sofa and sighed.
Then a familiar noise tickled her ears - the TARDIS was materialising in her bedroom. After a few seconds, the Doctor stood in the door.
"Hey, Clara," he called happily.
"Hey," she said with a little fake smile on her face.
"I thought I'd pop in for a moment. You've got nothing to do, have you?" he asked as he walked over to her.
"Are you alright?" he put another question when he finally saw her face. There was something in her eyes...
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she asked, keeping on pretending.
Liar.
The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his black coat and scanned her.
"You're quite a mess of emotions, Clara," he stated, looking at the results.
"You're," he frowned at the screwdriver, "sad?"
It sounded more like a question that an announcement because he didn't understand why she was sad. His own happiness faded quickly away. He didn't want her to be sad.
"I'm not sad," she tried to convince him.
The Doctor tilted his head, gave her a little smile as he cocked his eyebrow.
"Are you seriously trying to say that my screwdriver is lying?" he asked.
"No..." she replied with a sigh, looking away.
The Doctor threw his coat over the nearest chair and sat down on the sofa in his white shirt. He took her hand and tugged at it lightly and she sat down next to him.
"I thought we were done with lying, Clara. What's happened?"
"Nothing's happened, Doctor," she replied, turning her head back to him but avoiding the eye contact. Her mouth just didn't want to speak and her mind refused to come up with a good excuse.
Heartache. That was another thing that the screwdriver had said. Maybe she was thinking about Danny - that was the first thing that came to the Doctor's mind. He didn't want to ask - maybe it wasn't about P.E. at all and he would just make it worse.
"Was is something at work?"
Clara shook her head and remained silent.
"Has it something to do with me, perhaps?" he asked carefully, placing his other hand on his chest.
She looked at him and before she could say something, her eyes gave her away again.
"What? Have I done something?" he asked quietly, removing his hand from hers.
Or should he keep it there? He didn't know.
"Please, tell me, Clara. You know I'm an idiot when it comes to Human behaviour."
With this sentence, he conjured up a little smile on her face.
He could be an idiot sometimes – that was true. Maybe he really did overlook her indications... How she looked at him. What she said... "There was another man" - amongst other things.
"It's just..."
"You don't want to travel with me anymore, is that it, Clara?" the Doctor spoke out his biggest fear.
"No! Don't even think about that!" she replied quickly and looked at him this time.
The Doctor had his "confused owl" look on his face again. He had no clue what it could be, no idea what to ask next.
"Then what is it?" he asked in a low voice, took her hand again.
"I missed you," she whispered, hoping he would get the idea of what she really wanted to tell him.
"I missed you... too," he replied, confused as his blue eyes were fixed on her face.
Thinking about what to say next, he hesitated at first, but then continued:
"I always miss you when I'm not with you."
It was so unnatural to say these words. It wasn't something one couldn't hear from him every day... But this was Clara. He thought she might like to hear it. And the little smile on her face told him she did.
It gave her some courage and since they started this topic, she wanted to finish it.
"Okay, I'm just gonna say it because I can't take the psychical torture, anymore," she said.
He shook his head lightly, "Say what?"
"Doctor, I…"
Dammit. It was so much easier in her imagination.
She took a deep breath, looked him straight in his eyes that were gazing upon her – afraid of what she might say.
"Doctor, I care for you deeply... I love you," she confessed.
These words made his mind shut down just like a city during an electricity blackout. He blinked a few times, his blue eyes staring at her. There was a strange feeling in his chest and in his head... Breathe! He forgot to breathe for a while.
He inhaled and tried to pull himself together, but he failed. All those strange emotions... They hit his mind like a tornado and had put him out of service. They only part of his body that seemed to function properly were his two hearts that skipped a beat or two when Clara confessed her love for him.
The Doctor opened his mouth and managed to get a few words out.
"I... Yes..." he whispered
She tilted her head.
He stuttered something very quietly and she didn't understand again.
"What?"
"I love you too, Clara!" he finally said.
"You're the closest person to me in the whole world," she said, her lips curling into a smile as she suddenly felt some much lighter.
The Doctor nervously wrapped his arms around her and pulled onto his lap, so he could hug her properly. Hugging was a regular thing between them and now it just felt like the right thing to do, knowing she liked it.
"I feel the same about you, Clara," he whispered in her ear as she rested her head on his shoulder.
After a while, Clara lifted her head, so she could look at him. She brought her hand to his cheek, caressed it with her thumb and felt how the Doctor relaxed and leaned into her warm palm.
Then Clara slowly leaned forwards, waited, if he'd approve of her actions - and he did. He met her lips halfway, hoping she wouldn't notice how nervous he truly was.
A shiver ran down the Doctor's spine when her lips brushed against his, a tingly sensation inside his belly, his hearts beating their way out of his chest. Smelling her scent, tasting his Clara's soft lips, exploring... It was intoxicating.
The warm and fuzzy feeling in his whole body, the sensation... He loved it, but it was too much. Right at this moment, for the first time, he'd really pitied that this body was so sensitive... That it reacted like this.
He kissed his way along her jaw to her ear where he buried his head into her neck.
"Sorry," he whispered, already missing the contact of her, now lightly swollen, lips.
"No, don't be," she smiled and moved her hand from his back further up. Her fingers sunk into his soft locks and gently played with them as she massaged his head.
"You'll have to be patient with me," he murmured against her neck.
"Don't worry, Doctor. I won't push you into anything."
His Clara... So understanding... So devoted...
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
"Of course I am," she replied, still feeling every beat of her furiously beating heart.
"And you?"
"Overwhelmed. Wonderful. Alive. Can't explain."
Clara smiled.
The Doctor lifted his head and found her brown eyes looking at him lovingly.
"You're so beautiful," she said shyly.
He blinked at her a few times, surprised by what she'd said.
"I... Thank you," he accepted her compliment and kissed her hand.
Letting her love him - he was learning. And still had to learn. It was all so new to this incarnation.
"But not as much as you are," he added softly.
She gave him a soft kiss as a thank you and then nestled between his legs with her back against his chest to get more comfortable.
He embraced her tightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"You never come to me in the evening. Why did you do it today?" she asked out of curiosity.
"As I'd said - just a visit... I wanted to see you," he replied, slowly nuzzling his nose against her hair.
It warmed her heart.
"At first I thought that something had happened to you… And when I heard your excited call, I thought you were just keen to show me something," she smiled.
"We can go if you want to," he said.
"Maybe later. I'm quite happy with how things are now," she said softly and put her hand on his.
"I won't argue. This is probably the first time I'd rather sit on a couch than run through time and space."
xxx
Later, the Clara asked if they would go somewhere, to which the Doctor suggested "The Cave of Bad Dreams". She refused and so they'd postponed this trip to another day because she didn't think this was a good place to go to before sleep.
The Time Lord then decided to make an exception and do something peaceful… He took her for a walk and dinner - London, 1920s.
Clara loved it… And the Time Lord couldn't ask for more. She asked him to stay over the night with her - and he did.
Asking if it was alright, she snuggled close to him and tucked her head under his chin.
"Good night, my dear Clara," he said and wrapped his hands around her.
"Good night, Doctor."
He drew patterns on her back while he smiled to himself. He'd never felt so good... At least not in this body. She was his treasure.
Clara dearly enjoyed the dance of his long fingers on her back, the sweet scent of him in her nose and moments later she fell asleep in his loving embrace…
A/N: I hope you like it!
Reviews appreciated!
Thanks for reading. :)