This isn't one of my best works but I decided to post it here anyways because I thought it was still kinda cute.

"Emma? What is a MILF?"

Emma spit out her coffee, completely taken aback that Regina would ask her such a question so early in the morning, and with such a serious look on her face. "Jesus Christ, Regina, you can't be serious."

Regina took a seat across the table from her and uttered the most unfortunate two words Emma had heard all week, "I am."

Emma wondered if this was what she missed out with Henry; awkwardly teaching a few new words or awkwardly trying to evade the question entirely. "Why? Where'd you hear that?" She regretted the question as soon as it left her mouth.

"I overheard August say that I am a MILF. I would like to know what he called me."

Emma tried to hide her grimace by bringing her coffee cup to her lips. That bought her a little time to decide how to approach this question. With Regina—in the past—she has found that the direct, no bullshit, approach works the best. So she lowered the coffee mug and with the straightest face she could muster said, "mother I'd like to fuck."

"Excuse me?" Regina sputtered.

"It means, mother I'd like to fuck." Emma shrugs. It took another moment or two to process. "Wait a minute! Why did August say that you were a MILF? I mean…I you're fine as hell, but you're my wife and he knows it!"

Regina rolls her eyes, "it's not a big deal Emma."

She crossed her arms and frowned. "Sure it is. August is a good guy, sure, but he can't talk about you like that."

"Really, I don't mind." Regina smirks. "After all it's hard not to apricate this." She motions up and down her body. "But if it makes you feel that uncomfortable, I'll talk to him. I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you. Or me for that matter."

"Yeah well." Emma grumbled. "I'm gonna have a good chat with him. Who else was he talking to?"

Regina almost felt guilty giving up names. "He was talking to the dwarves, I think its safe to say that he was joking."

"Hope he doesn't dream of doing standup." Emma replied.

"If you say so." Regina replied. "But do you agree with him? Am I a MILF."

"Please stop saying that word." Emma cringed.

"I will if you answer the question." Regina smugly draped her arms over the top of her chair and quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. But you're my MILF and no one else's." Emma muttered.

Regina rested her elbows on the table, "I can live with that."